AvianCorp

AvianCorp, Located in Crowsville Connecticut. Making your town safer one step at a time.

[we1rdsc1ence]

Fuck it [injects you with weird fucked up science goo]

┣▇▇▇═─

[aviancorp]

Why did you go dark?

Please elaborate.

[aviancorp]

Whoever runs this blog- I am so sorry for you

Thank you for concern over my wellbeing, however the holiday of April 1st is now over, and I am legally required to state any and all cries for help were in fact jokes :). We like to have fun here at Aviancorp. Thank you for your continued support.

[aviancorp]

ok but you know its a janky big corp company when they have to make a Tumblr Profile of all places. with Hired employees to run it. best of luck big guy youre in deservement of at least 4 carrots and highschool level spring break

I am not hired.

[aviancorp]

lmao. just quit 5head

I cannot quit.

[aviancorp]

The April fools is that the April fools joke is also a joke meaning: your company is inhumane for reals and run by a cruel fuck who I await the death of :)

Legally the employee who runs this company tumblr is supposed to diffuse the situation and assure you that we are a great company. However it is a joke holiday and I have been given a pass to let anything happen, so I am not going to disagree. 

[aviancorp]

I WONT BE SILENCED BECAUSE OF A DATE ON THE CALENDER YOU BITCHES

Here at Aviancorp, we appreciate our valued citizen’s enthusiasm to participate in this fun holiday.

[aviancorp]

booooo your company is bad and you should feel bad

Thank you for participating in “April Fools” :)

[aviancorp]

We are a terrible company ran by terrible, terrible people.

[aviancorp]

Fuck you all and your higher ups

Aviancorp is not quite sure what sparked this outburst. Would you like to schedule a private meeting and talk it out?

[aviancorp]

so whens the new product line coming out? love to get my paws on some Avian Branded Hats(tm)

Are hats something citizens want?

[aviancorp]

Did you know that selling children is unethical

That should be common sense, yes. 

[aviancorp]

did you know it’s illegal in one state to paint sparrows as parakeets and sell them?

No, we did not know that. 

[aviancorp]

how many shrimp do you have to eat. before it makes your skin turn pink.

Depending on your skin tone I suppose the Astaxanthan would show through a bit if you eat a large portion. 

[aviancorp]

Ive checked the books, the internet- BIRD ARE NOT REAL. THERES NO FUCKING THING AS AN ANIMAL CALLED A BIRD. THE ONLY THING THEIR IS T H E B I R D

“The” bird?

[aviancorp]

Where did you get your company name?

Our company is based down near the coast, and has many birds around. While it has never been officially said, many people speculate that is where the founder got his inspiration from. 

[aviancorp]

Yo past anon- wtf is a bird

An animal.