October 5/6 2020. Time to write 2 hours-ish. Oct 6 12:57 AM.
It’s been a while since I’ve done a life rant. When’s the last time I did one? 2017-2018? Well a lot can happen in that amount of time. What was notable? Read on to find out!
Ha! As if I had any active followers. As if anyone I know still keeps up with me. As if anyone even uses this site anymore. That’s okay. I decided long ago that I would do things for my enjoyment and not so much for the popularity. If popularity came then great.
In a middle of a pandemic and the US is doing the worst due to having the most corrupt administration in its history, combined with having a fucking idiot for a president. So all the things I was looking forward to back in March are all canceled. This includes the first Dota Major in LA, and three concerts I was really looking forward to including FLOW, RADWIMPS, and Hatsune Miku. I’m not really a Hatsune Miku fan but I’ve listened to some vocaloid music and decided it’s not bad. The Hatsune Miku thing seems like something worth experiencing once. Who knows when I’ll get a chance to go to concerts again.
I’ve been lucky enough to keep my job and work remotely during the last.... seven months?! I preferred the office originally as it was easier to focus on work but I’ve gotten into the remote work lifestyle and I don’t hate it. I’ve saved so much money on gas and I rarely have to go outside anymore.
I rarely have to go outside anymore. There’s nothing to go outside for anymore. Not that I went out for much anyway. I don’t have any friends to even do things with. My one best online friend I had I thought I would be friends with forever. He decided he changed his life and doesn’t talk to me anymore. No one invites me out. Am I even worth hanging out with? I’ve started floating the idea of going to a karaoke place solo at some point. Exactly like Retsuko.
How do I even meet people in this situation now? I was always really shy in school and I feel like now I can be a bit more open. I really do want to meet people and make friends but I’ve never enjoyed outdoorsy things. I floated joining a local chess club, the only thing I could think of. Discord you suggest? I’m in like thirty different servers now and I can’t care enough to participate enough in any of them. I don’t know, something about Discord culture doesn’t rub me well. I feel like I need a smaller server that’s more close-knit with several shared interests. I’ll follow conversations in some channels but I’m not going to take the time just to sit down and chat. I’m always doing something else with a higher priority.
Looking for a girlfriend. I’m using dating apps but really don’t want to be taking the time to use them. Honestly just feels gross using them but what other choice do I have? I don’t get many matches. The ones I do get are usually not attractive enough to me to reach out. And my Bumble matches don’t message me at all. I guess I should lower my standards. I swear all the attractive girls are probably already taken. At the very least I want someone I can just chill with every few days or so. Enjoy time remotely.
Hopefully I can look back on this post some time in the future and see if I’ve improved my life. It will be a nice recollection of what I’ve had at this point in time.
Games I’ve played since 2018 that I can remember
Ni No Kuni - Was on my list for a while. I got bored probably a third of the way in and have been playing it on and off for a few years before deciding I need to finish this. Roughly 50 hours total and I set the difficulty to easy just to get thru it faster. I started Ni No Kuni 2 first but paused to complete this.
RDR2 - Yeah I guess it’s good. I don’t think it changed my life in any meaningful way
Ori Will of the Wisps - I loved the original. I loved this too. Played it on hard. Again I missed a skill I didn’t know about until after I had already beaten the final boss: Recovery. This would have made it all so much easier. ~25 hours. The story isn’t very deep though.
Skyrim - Beat the main campaign. Final boss was a joke. Still haven’t beating all of the DLCs. Not sure if I will.
Spiderman PS4 - Good game. Props to Insomniac. Except the parts where you don’t play as spidey.
Cadence of Hyrule - Beat it once and haven’t touched it since. Pretty cool combination of indie game and large franchise.
Half Life Alyx - Best VR game so far. It was hard on my 1060 though so didn’t get a fully enjoyable experience.
Outer Wilds - I liked the experience of the game. I did not like how it ended.
Currently playing: The Last of Us Pt 2. I have some opinions on it but I’ll probably put those in another post. Still have a large backlog of games to play but I’m trying to stick to one “large” game at a time and aw crap Cyberpunk is coming out soon.
For multiplayer games I’m still just playing Dota.
からかい上手の高木さん - Teasing Master Takagi-san - Nichijou takes place as the funniest anime I’ve ever seen and my favorite. Takagi-san takes place as the most wholesome. It’s a rare treat where I force myself to watch one episode a day just so that I don’t binge and I can enjoy the show for longer. I just wish I had a girl to talk to every day at school. I wishlisted the VR game on Steam. It also introduced me to some new Japanese artists and I’m listening to all the Takagi covers on Spotify. This is my current favorite thing right now. I felt a little empty after finishing the final episode of season 2. Going through the manga slowly.
This anime also introduced me to a favorite seiyuu Rie Takahashi, who apparently voiced Takagi in manga promotional videos before the anime was even produced. I thoroughly enjoyed the Takagi content she did for the DVDs and other things. I seriously just started watching other anime shes in just because she’s in it
Konosuba - It’s enjoyable, but I don’t think it will change my life. Megumin is cute though. Currently on season 2
Rent-a-Girlfriend - Still watching. Has a lot of cringe moments. I haven’t even seen Rie’s character yet. I like the intro though.
Oresuki - Heard it had a similar romcom vibe. Still watching
Kaguya-sama - I like this one. It’s not as wholesome as Takagi though. I’m amused that Chika Dance is a thing. I really want to know who thought of making that, because it’s glorious.
Amagi Brilliant Park - Watched because KyoAni. It was fine.
Eromanga-sensei - I heard something about the MC wanting to fuck his sister and wanted to see through it to the end. This one’s pretty weird
Joshiraku - Funny in the same vein as Nichijou but you have to follow a blog of translation notes to understand everything. Thoroughly enjoyed
Steins;Gate - Binged this one. It was good but I felt like the plot didn’t went in a circle and nothing actually gets accomplished. I guess character development was the point? Dunno if I’ll watch Steins;Gate 0.
Kill la Kill - I’ve got nothing
K-On - Cute girls doing cute things. Only finished first season. Maybe I’ll do the second at some point.
Bunny Girl Senpai - 10/10 Relationship and character development
Attack On Titan - Binged season 3 in a weekend.
While I still want to make a game some time in the future I think it’s fairly ambitious with my time management and what little time I have. I decided to start focusing on music. Currently looking to make a few more videos of me doing some acoustic covers and few more arrangements.
Maybe I’ll transition this blog into its own website. Also plan to play with the OpenDota source code to generate stats for Dota for turbo since I can’t find any data on those stats.
Still studying Japanese when it’s convenient for me. I find it hard to take the time to sit down and actually study. I played Animal Crossing in Japanese for a bit. Still can’t understand everything but a decent amount. Game seems to be more fun in English though. I also completed the Duolingo Japanese tree and have an over year long streak on it. Learning Japanese has been my most persistent hobby so far.
Mood: Neutral but kinda lonely
Outlook on life: Not pleasant but not apocalyptic.
Current goals: Advance career. Produce videos and music. Be more interesting. Find someone to love.
What I want most right now: Friends. 友達。友人。仲間。