So my therapist said something awhile back and itâs really stuck with me.
I was talking about the stupid things I had done in high school. Â How the stories I wrote were stupid and how all I ever wanted to draw was anime shit (which was stupid) and how immature I could be, etc etc etc.
and she was like âWhy are you so determined to beat up on Little Maggie?â
It took me off guard, I was like âwhat do you mean?â
âWhy do you keep saying Little Maggie is stupid? Â You say she was stupid and immature but wasnât she just a teenager? Â Do you not like who you were as a teenager?â
I shrugged and was like âI think teenage me was very creative and was probably just having fun and being a teenagerâŠâ
âSo why beat up on her and call her stupid and embarrassing?â
âI dunno, because I guess now Iâve learned a lot.â
âBut she was young. Â She didnât know. Â Iâm just telling you this because if you keep beating up on Little Maggie, you have to remember that she grows up to be you. Â When you put bruises and scars on Little Maggie, youâre leaving all the healing for Big Maggie. Â Your insecurity about who you were as a child is going to come through into your adulthood. Â Be nice to Little Maggie.â
And Iâd never really thought of that before?  It seems status quo to just⊠hate who you used to be for not knowing enough, but thatâs totally illogical.  Of course a younger version of you doesnât know what you know and canât act with the wisdom that you act.
And even if Little Maggie was writing silly stories about her friends while ripping off anime and drawing her own âmangaâ and being immature and goofy, she was having fun, she was being creative, she was enjoying the things she liked and she wasnât hurting anyone.
Sheâs part of my past and hating her is hating the foundation of who I eventually became.
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