reflecting light

[axconitum]

[Still not 100% satisfied, but at least this theme is readable. I know I’ve gotten a few new followers since I started being active over here again - first of all, HI! Second, I’m sorry if it was difficult to find my pages before.]

[axconitum]

lilevns​:

@axconitum​ ; liked.

    Lily spotted Remus sitting by himself in the Common Room and walked over to him, wondering where the other three boys were as she did so. “Hey Remus,” Lily said said as she sat down across from him. Remus had always been the calmer one out of the Marauders group and this wouldn’t be the first time that she’d read or studied around him. “Where’s your crew?” She asked curiously as she opened up a book on her lap, it was one that her mother sent her, though she knew it was actually from Petunia. “You don’t mind if I read here with you, do you?”

Remus shook his head; no, he didn’t mind at all. In fact, if he wanted to get his assignments completed before the upcoming full moon, Lily was a vast improvement over his usual company. “Well, let’s see...” He rolled up his sleeve to check his watch - a purely dramatic gesture, the watch hadn’t worked for more than a year now, and he knew exactly where his friends were. “They should still be in detention, I think. What’s that you’ve got there? Something more pleasant than McGonagall’s essay, I hope.”

[axconitum]

doggedfather​:

“Then why didn’t you rescue me from Azkaban?” Sirius spoke before he even realized what he was saying. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted them. Peter had done an excellent job at convincing the world that Sirius was the traitor, and Sirius knew he had no right to hold that against Remus- even if a small part of him did.

“I didn’t mean that. I don’t hold it against you. You didn’t know.” Not knowing if he was digging himself into a deeper hole or not, Sirius tried to backtrack on what he said. Was he always this much of an idiot? He couldn’t even blame the alcohol for what he said- he hadn’t even finished a full glass yet.

-

The realization that Sirius had been innocent, and that Remus had let him rot for over decade had felt like a knife in the gut. The wound was painful, and deep, but he knew that it was nothing compared to how Sirius had suffered. So, if he wanted to drive that knife a little deeper, Remus had resolved to let him. 

“No, it’s alright. I understand.” Remus stared down at the rest of his whiskey, not quite ready for another painful sip. He was ready to be drunk, though. He was so, so ready to be drunk. “You’re right, I should have... I don’t know. Known better, trusted you more. I don’t know that anyone would have believed me, if I’d told them you were innocent back then, but-” Remus cut himself off, and forced himself to look up at Sirius again. As much as it hurt, to think about his part in his friend’s imprisonment, what was the point of an apology, if he couldn’t look him in the eye? “But that doesn’t change the fact that I was wrong, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

[axconitum]

[I’m not in love with this new theme, but at least it’s less messy. I’m too tired to keep working on it so it’ll have to work for now.]

[aredhels]

@fandomaestheticnet gtktm event » favourite characters: remus lupin

I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder’s Map.

[thingsforrp]

more first interaction starters

“Shit! Sorry!” 

“Is this yours?”

“Hey beautiful”

“Watch where you’re going!”

“Hey, I think you dropped this”

“Hey! You’re (wrong name) right?”

“You’re (muse’s name) aren’t you?” 

“Whoa! Hey! where you running to?”

“I think I’ve seen you around before”

“I don’t suppose you know how to get out of here”

“Don’t freak out. Just pretend to be my date, please”

“Please tell me your name begins with J. It’s for a bet”

“Sorry but I have to ask: why are you carrying a banana around?”

[axconitum]

doggedfather​:

Sirius let out a weak laugh, lifting his head to look back up at Remus. “If that’s what you need to hear, so be it.” He remembered it clearly, but the memory brought him some pain. Remus had swore that he’d never lose Sirius again, but now here they were, separated once more.

“It was at my parent’s house, when I was in hiding. Not too long before the Ministry. I had a nightmare, like I always did, and I was screaming and you heard me because you wouldn’t let me soundproof the walls. I was a mess. I don’t remember what I said- something about the dementors or Azkaban. You came into my bed with me and you promised me that I was safe and I would never go back there. You told me you wouldn’t lose me again. Kept telling me that I would be okay, that we would be okay, that someday we could leave that house and I would be free and we could live wherever we wanted. And I realized that you really loved me. I know you’ve said it so many times, but it never really occurred to me that you truly saw a future with me and that’s what you wanted. I couldn’t think of a future, not when I was like that. But you did, and you wanted me with you. I kissed you, and I kept kissing you until you made me stop because you couldn’t breathe. And, well, that was it.”

It was only when he finished talking that he realized he was crying. He hated himself for leaving remus again, for causing him so much pain, even if the situation was entirely out of his control. He was terrified that Remus would have moved on and accepted that he was gone, planning a new future without him in it. What if Remus didn’t want him back now?

-

Remus lowered his wand slowly, listening, believing more and more every second that this really was Sirius Black. He didn’t need to hear the whole story - he knew it by heart, like a favorite movie watched on repeat until the tape wore out. He thought about that night all of the time, and that future he used to imagine for them. Even though he didn’t particularly want to, and he couldn’t drink fast enough to distract himself. That future had died along with Sirius years ago. 

Or, so he thought.

“Yes, that...” Remus trailed off, the corner of his mouth turning up into a half-smile, as he rubbed at his tired eyes with his free hand. This still felt too good to be true; he almost wondered if he was dreaming, but his dreams were so rarely this kind to him. “That was it. That was always it.”

Was it, still? It wasn’t as if Remus had done a particularly good job of moving on. It didn’t seem worth it, when there was a good chance he wouldn’t survive the war. In fact, there were times when Remus went out of his way to ensure that didn’t happen. For all his recklessness, he had survived it all, but Remus was left to contend with the future alone. Even with Sirius alive, right in front of him, it seemed unlikely that the future he had described to him that night was still what the other man wanted.

He swallowed, pushing that question down for the time being. 

“But... How?” Surely Sirius had been asked that question a dozen times by now, and was tired of answering it, but Remus needed to know. It had been clawing at the back of his throat since he entered the hospital room. “You died, I watched it happen. I didn’t think-” His breath hitched, and Remus paused, willing himself not to cry even as those telltale tears blurred the edges of his vision. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again.”

[axconitum]

[I haven’t touched my theme in over a year, holy shit, I forgot how messy the html is. Time for an overhaul, I think.]

[axconitum]

doggedfather​:

“I can take up the role of damsel in distress if that means you’ll come rescue me.” Sirius grinned, downing more of his drink. He knew he was in no state to defend himself; he was underweight and had no wand. It certainly aggravated him to think about. He had no idea if his wand was destroyed or kept somewhere at the Ministry, and Dumbledore had yet to answer his questions.

As Sirius was reminded of the dream, the grin faded from his face. He wished he could ignore them, but it was at the point where he dreaded going to sleep for fear of what his mind would bring up. Not that he would say it out loud, but he’d take an attempted murder over his nightmares any day. “Yeah. Just a dream…”

Damsel in distress. Remus had no choice but to down half of his glass just to cope with everything that implied. Would Sirius still feel that way, when he was wide-awake and sober? Probably not. But that wasn’t going to stop Remus and his sleepy, tipsy brain from thinking about Sirius swooning after a daring rescue.

Remus puts his glass down with a loud clank. Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen.

“Of course I’d come rescue you,” he said, not nearly drunk enough to blame it all on the alcohol. “From murderers, nightmares... Anything else.”

[axconitum]

[I finally got a new computer! Time to dust off this blog and get back to writing! 

So. Like this post for a random starter, or DM me if you want to plot!]

[axconitum]

doggedfather​:

The momentary look of disgust on Remus’ face made Sirius pause, until he remembered that Remus didn’t like firewhiskey. “I forgot you hate this stuff. I’m not a big fan either, but it’s all I could get.” He stared down into his drink, thinking back to when they were younger and could go out drinking. The stuff they had at muggle pubs was much better than anything wizards managed to make, and Sirius wished he could get his hands on those drinks.

“My actual murder would be quite an event. I’d hate for you to miss it.” Sirius let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. He didn’t like knowing that he’d made enough noise that Remus thought he was being murdered. His nightmares were something he preferred to keep to himself, but if Remus knew how much of an impact they had on him he’d certainly make Sirius talk sooner or later.

-

Remus took another drink, longer this time, even though he wasn’t nearly drunk enough for the unpleasantness to feel any less so. He made a mental note, that he hoped he would remember when he sobered up in the morning; next time he was out, he needed to pick up some better booze. Maybe enabling Sirius wasn’t the best idea, but what else was the poor man to do, trapped in this horrible house day in, and day out? 

“Ideally, I’d be stopping it.” It wasn’t an unlikely scenario, especially considering the fact that Sirius would remain a wanted escaped convict until Wormtail showed himself publicly. “Not that you’re not capable of defending yourself, of course, but-” Remus cut himself off, mostly because there is no way for that train of thought to lead anywhere but an argument. “Well, anyway. At least it was just a dream.”

[axconitum]

doggedfather​:

Sirius nodded in agreement, knowing he wouldn't be sleeping the rest of the night. He felt guilty for waking Remus up and decided he'd have to find some way to soundproof his room so it wouldn't happen again. He wished he had his wand, but he didn't know if it'd been broken by the Ministry or what. He'd have to ask Kingsley the next time he saw him.

Walking into the kitchen, Sirius grabbed two glasses and a bottle of firewhiskey. Pouring the two drinks, Sirius made his way over to the table and sat down. "Sorry I woke you up. If you want to put a soundproofing spell on my room so it doesn't happen again you can. I don't want to mess up your sleep."

-

Yuck, firewhiskey. Remus isn’t sure what he expected, it’s not as if Grimmauld Place was well-equipped to make sweet or fruity cocktails at... At whatever time of night it was. Still, Remus couldn’t help wrinkling his nose when the smell hit him. He sat across from Sirius, holding off on taking that painful first gulp for just a little bit longer. 

“You don’t need to go through all of the trouble,” he insisted. “I’m just as much of an insomniac as I ever was. Besides, I...” I want to know when something’s troubling you, I want to be there for you, I want to help, I don’t want us to shut each other out like we did last time, we can be better, please- “I’d hate to sleep through your actual murder.”

[axconitum]

doggedfather​:

Sirius opened his mouth to question Remus more before he was pushed back into the hospital room and the door shut. "Who I- what?" Why was Remus pulling out his wand? What had happened while he was in the veil? He didn't like the anger in his friend's eyes; it was an anger he hadn't seen in a long time. Clearly he'd been gone long enough for everyone to think he was dead, but how long was that?

"Well, I'm fairly certain that I'm Sirius Black. Unless something changed while I was... wherever I was. Maybe something did change, because the aurors should have thrown me back in Azkaban instead of bringing me here." With a sigh, Sirius went back to the bed and sat down. He was still exhausted, and he was struggling to process whatever was happening.

The biggest question Sirius had was why he wasn't in Azkaban. Had enough time passed for his name to get cleared? It didn't make sense- Remus didn't look that much older. Assuming his name was cleared, did that mean the war was over too? Remus was alive and clearly not in hiding, so Voldemort couldn't have that much control. Or was he dead? Sirius let out a groan and rested his face in his hands. Just thinking about everything was enough to give him a headache.

"I can't deal with this, Remus. Do I have to prove to you that I'm me just to get a proper explanation? How am I supposed to do that?"

-

Remus wanted more than anything to believe that it was the truth. It would be the perfect, fairy tale conclusion to their story, wouldn’t it? Sirius back from the dead, one final heartfelt reunion, after which Remus would never let the other man out of his sight ever again, since painful long-term separations were starting to become a habit for them, and his heart probably couldn’t take another one-

But stuff like that didn’t happen in real life. Not to werewolves. As much as Remus missed Sirius, as much as this looked and sounded like him, right down to his posture, and that muffled, frustrated groan, two wars had taught Remus that he needed to be absolutely sure.

It dawned on him, in that moment, that Sirius hadn’t lived to see the latter parts of the war, where Order members had taken to asking cryptic questions to verify their identities whenever they crossed paths. It gave Remus a little more hope, that this really was him after all. 

Remus leaned back against the door, with a heavy sigh. No, he wasn’t going to be giving away anything, until he knew exactly who he was dealing with. What, then, could he possibly ask Sirius, that no one else would know?

“Tell me...” Remus felt his ears growing red; if this was an impostor, this conversation was about to get way too personal. “About the last time you kissed me. Surely only the two of us know about that.”

[axconitum]

@doggedfather, continued from this ask here, because reblogging asks is a nightmare

Remus sighed, fighting back the urge to roll his eyes. It's a lie, and a blatant one at that. His heart was still pounding in his chest, and as relieved as he was that Sirius was alright, there's an ache in his gut, when Sirius doesn't trust him with the truth.

But... He doesn't have it in him to call Sirius on it, either. Not at this time of night, and not when he knows full well all of the horrible things that were haunting Sirius' mind, just waiting for him to fall asleep and dream. Drinking might not be the healthiest coping mechanism, but after the fright Sirius had just given him, Remus was keen on the idea. Indulging just once couldn't hurt, right? "Yes, alright. I don't think I'll be falling asleep anytime soon, anyway."

[doggedfather]

@axconitum

Sirius didn't understand what happened when he went through the veil. No time passed to him- one second he was falling, in the middle of a battle, and the next second he was on the ground in an empty room. He tried to stand but found that his legs were unable to support his weight. Why did he feel so weak? What the hell had Bellatrix done to him? What the hell had that veil done to him?

Before he could try and answer his questions, Sirius heard the sound of running footsteps and looked up to see a small group of surprised looking aurors running towards him. Cursing, Sirius reached for his wand, only to find that he had somehow lost it. The aurors were surrounding him now, and in a desperate attempt at self defense, he leapt up to punch one of them. It didn't get him anywhere- the one who pulled him away decided they'd get nowhere with Sirius in such a panic, so he used a spell to render him unconscious so they could bring him to the hospital.

When Sirius came to, he expected to be back in Azkaban or dead. So realizing that he was laying in a hospital bed only brought him more confusion. There were voices outside the door- one of which he instantly recognized. Remus was here, but he sounded angry. Sirius moved to get up just as the door opened, and he paused when he saw Remus. His friend was older now, and there were new scars, ones Sirius didn't recognize. What the hall had happened to him?

"Remus? You- what happened to me?"

[axconitum]

After surviving two wars, Remus stopped believing in things that were too good to be true. A younger version of himself would have been ecstatic, to hear that Sirius had somehow survived his trip beyond the veil. If anyone could do it, he would have thought, it'd be Padfoot. And he would immediately backslide into daydreaming and pining, just as he had the last time Sirius had suddenly come back into his life.

It was hard to dredge up anything but apprehension and fear, when some poor intern from the ministry came to inform him that Sirius Black had not only been recovered, but was alive, resting at St. Mungo's and expected to make a full recovery. Surely Remus wasn't they only person who found his sudden reappearance suspicious, after all this time?

While there were a handful of Aurors on the scene when Remus arrived, unshaven, exhausted, and above all, scared, none of them seemed to be worried about the impostor they were charged with guarding. They assured him that every possible test had been conducted, there had been plenty of time for Polyjuice potion to run its course; the only explanation left was that the man in the hospital bed really was Sirius.

Remus didn't believe it, even when Sirius himself came to the door, his peaceful rest disrupted by their shouting. Seeing him only made Remus' blood come to a boil in his veins. How dare he - they - whoever this was, impersonate Sirius? After all this time? He'd grieved him, Harry had grieved him; only someone truly malicious would play such a cruel trick, and enough was enough.

"That's what I want to know, among other things." A quick glance at the Auror in charge of the operation tells him that they aren't going to protest, and within seconds, he's nudged Sirius back into the cramped hospital room, door shut firmly behind them.

"Why don't you start by telling me who you are." Remus removes his wand from his pocket, tired eyes fixed on the ghost in front of him, even if it makes his heart ache and throb in his chest. He doesn't brandish his weapon - not yet, at least - but it never hurts to remind an enemy that you're armed, and they're not. "Who you are, really, and why you insist on wearing the face of a dead man?"

[axconitum]

dream – muse a comforts muse b after a nightmare ((from doggedfather bc Sirius gets hella nightmares and I'm emo))

Remus never considered himself a particularly heavy sleeper, but he’s positive that even if he had been, the shout that woke him up from a dead sleep would have done so even if he was. At first, he wonders if the noise was part of his dream, though he doesn’t remember exactly what he was dreaming about. However, he hears it again - softer this time, but very much real, coming from the room next to his. Wide awake, adrenaline running wild, and wand in hand, Remus makes a mad dash for the adjacent bedroom, throwing the door open without so much as a courtesy knock.

“Padfoot-!” A quick glance around the room tells him that there’s no danger, no outside intruder. Just the two of them, alone in the dark - thankfully, or Sirius would be able to see his ears starting to turn red from embarrassment. Had he been imagining the shouting after all? “Is everything alright?”

[rp-meme-glaceon]

Send a symbol for your muse to find mine...

🌷- Alone

🥀- Dying

🤕- Injured/sick

☠️- Dead

🐥- Alive

😈- Possessed

👻- As a ghost

😼- Transformed into an animal/monster

🦋- In a joyful mood

☔️- In a somber mood

☀️- Overheated

☃️- Shivering from the cold

💫- Dazed and dizzy

💦- Crying

🍇- Extremely hungry

🏇🏻- Being chased

🗜- Stuck in a trap

🔮- In a dream

🛌- Bedridden

📖- Reading/studying

🎍- Tending to a shrine/visiting a grave

🌼- Caring for some plants

⭐️- Stargazing

☄️- In a dangerous situation