He moved on by finding another but I moved on by finding me
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He moved on by finding another but I moved on by finding me
“I don’t know which thought brings me more pain, thinking of another man with their hands wrapped around my waist or you with your lips on another girls neck.”
— B.L letters I never sent (via im-sad-lets-have-sex)
People are impermanent. The love of your life will leave you. On a Sunday morning, they’ll kiss you for the last time.
You won’t know it’s the last time, of course. You rarely do.
Later, when thinking back to it, you’ll try to remember whether they lingered for just a moment before they broke away. You’ll try to remember the placement of their hands.
Much later still, you’ll become stuck on the memory of how you met. How you fell in love with their mind. How they surprised you. How they challenged you to become a better person.
You’ll spend Friday evenings trying to disentangle them from your psyche. Like finding an endless array of their socks at the bottom of your drawer. Wishing they would disappear yet being unable to throw them out.
On bad nights, you want to scream. How could you? Of all the people in the world, you were supposed to stay. Out of all the temporality, all that transience - you were meant to be the exception.
You think about calling them, if only to receive a reminder of their voice on the answerphone. You almost do, but something stops you. You remember a poem you read a long time ago. It went something like -
People are impermanent. The love of your life will leave you. On a Sunday morning, they’ll kiss you for the last time.
Sue Zhao | Nothing but Strawberries
I wish I could kiss your mouth oh so softly. I would never let you go. Oh, I would never let you go.
Sue Zhao || Nothing but Strawberries
I stole your word. The word you used to use all the time. I say it now. I slip it into sentences and laugh to myself. It’s a little inside joke. It reminds me of you every time. You were so pompous. I still think it’s funny how a single word can remind you of an entire person. That should fill me with fear. As long as I remember that word, I’ll remember you. But it doesn’t. I say the word, I remember you, and I don’t care.
Sue Zhao // An Ode to Moving On
“So I said: “please love me,” and what I meant was: please treat me gently. Please love me with a love that can be felt. That can be touched. A love that I can write about gracefully if and when it ends. Which I may look upon with pacific eyes, and say: “that was a good love. It had to end but it was good.””
Sue Zhao // Nothing but Strawberries
Madhuri Dixit in Ilaaka, 1989
I had a dream about you last night. I didn’t write it down. I’ll forget it and I don’t care. I’ll forget you and I want to.
Meena Kumari in Sahara (1958)
aishwarya rai is so beautiful
The inferno of first love (1968)
William Laxton, ‘Fashion 1999!’, Jacquetta Wheeler wearing Moon Young Hee…
Sopra. Abito strech in pizzo, Moschino. Sotto. Vestaglia in cotone, Moschino.