ayra monette

@ayramonette

yes, this is my place of being

33 posts

devils on the prowl

Words blurted out of anger are the most painful ones

They are demons and ghosts disguised in the forms of verbal insults and abuses

They hunt you day in and day out

Leaving you kneeling and praying it would stop

Yet, it does not

Because they persist like bacteria that slowly eat up the entire body

You could do something about it, though,

You could chop off the part that pains you

Or you could simply play numb and let the abuses swallow you slowly

As for me, I have been choosing the latter now and then

It was an easy choice, but it wasn’t the best

If you ask me if I am proud of my choice, well, I am not

I wish I could have the courage to speak up about what is burying me

I desire for my life to be free of abuses in any form

Yet, I do not have the bravery to do so

So, to whoever is experiencing the same,

I am simply here to tell you that you are not alone

Unfortunately, there are hundreds or even thousands of us, even

And I hope that you find your own safe space as you seek for solace.

As I find for my own, too.

05-12-2021 I hope my mom knows she deserves the best. I hope she knows she is powerful enough to stand up against people who did her wrong. I hope she knows it is okay to feel mad on people. I hope she knows I am doing my best to make her feel empowered. I hope she sees herself that way.

note to self: things will still be hard at 18, but atleast you are better than what you imagined you would be

tonight, I will sleep with a heavy heart, and tomorrow, maybe I will wake up feeling tired, but I believe in hope and what's to come for today may rain, but some day the sun will shine

#UPItAintForTheFaintHearted:((

There are times when I wish I didn't feel things

And it started long enough I could no longer recall

Was it those days I heard continuous shoutings?

Or the late night cries I had that served as my only outlet?

There are times when I wish I didn't feel things

Lately, I find myself in constant disturbing thoughts

Some days I find it hard to keep

But most days I guarantee it's a success

There are times when I wish I didn't feel things

Because I care a lot more than what's needed

I only end up feeling heavy

Only to find out none of them is worth the burden

There are times when I wish I didn't feel things

Because what my mind thinks lately

Is that owning everyone's responsibility is much harder

Than feeling completely empty

There are times when I wish I didn't feel things

In that way, I would be doing my school works

With no anxious thoughts

Fighting with my last decent brain cells

There are times when I wish I didn't feel things

Maybe it will be easier that way

Maybe I'll do an act of true laugh

And maybe I won't be writing this at all.

angels

Shivers ran down in my spine,

As I try to remain stable and fine

I remember when I was four years old

and you were there looking fine, as I was told

You looked just like my father

Older, yet still know how to attract girls closer

I was told I should act proper

Or else I would get scolded from you, older brother

You had a mustache and a beard that was a bit darker

I started to wonder how it even got there

I was told I should always obey you

For everything you will say will help me get through

You started feeding us with foods I know nothing about

Were they veggies, or just some strange food that's scary to look at?

But in the afternoon you give us some treats

Most days were ice cream, other days were some other sweets

You began taking pictures of us dancing and playing

As if you were a proud parent and your child achieved something

Still, I didn't mind because I know I was having fun

And so I pose here and there while enjoying the heat of the sun

You took us on places that I haven't even seen,

I was in awe on everything that I did want to scream

I remember how I enjoyed holding a hammer in my hand

They told me it was a "gavel", but back then I did not understand

The beat was getting faster and faster

Though I try to be fine, the pain is still there

I remember being a child and going home with a dream,

I wanted to become a judge, though it's not easy as it seems

Like a photograph pressed between pages

Old as it may seem, it's still vivid through all the ages

I will remember you smiling, soaring up in the heavens

Taking a good care of us while you endlessly bond with them angels.

It took me some time

To get my feet back on track

To fill the sheets with words

I know my heart is beating out loud

The storms were raging

But I stood so still

Though the waters were getting rough

I managed to stay beneath the ground

Suddenly, a comet shook the city

And now I am back to square one

I instantly don’t know

How to turn things around

You are a landscape everyone loved to look at

Unbothered yet tested through all of its trying times

You are the whistling bird one hears when he walks through the forest

Though the journey is uneasy, you know just how to sing peace to our mind

But you loved the river so much

That you became one

Flowing through its course

Only to be seen once

It took me some time

To feel the pain I’ve been neglecting

I know you are happy

And I know we will soon be.

Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by this student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

The Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

Keep reading

May the 19th make you the happiest

On this day you were born and thank God for letting me know you this close.

I know you won’t get the chance to read this because first, you are not fond of long posts on social media and second, I know you would always choose twitter over tumblr. So here it goes, an appreciation post for you, d.

Being into an almost relationship that broke me the hardest made me decide not too fall too hard nor like someone that much and up until now I am trying not to. I have only known you for a month and I know we somewhat helped each other grow into the persons we want to be(weh HAHA). We are not always on the same side when it comes to things and that’s what makes you, you. You, who on the first hour of our class, looks at the mirror and combs his hair while there I am, being so annoyed with how conscious you are. You who does not blurt out his ideas when in fact I know it is better than mine. You who play Mobile Legends despite having a teacher discussing in front and still having the guts to tell me to play ML too HAHA. You who repetitiously tell jokes to the point that I don’t even laugh because it is just too corny.

But despite all of these, I know I did not like the whole you for nothing.

Whenever we get the chance to have a free time, we would shamelessly talk about anything under the sun and you would be so entertained on how I tell you things you know less about. I remember one time when I told you about some mythical creatures you don’t believe in and you would always have that funny yet amusing expression of yours. You who comforts me whenever I am in stressful situations and tell them"wag niyong paiyakin si ayra". You who whenever we become partners I would always tell you to do this and that and you would nicely nod and tell me"Ano pang matutulong ko? Akin na.“ (Little did you know, highest score ko yun with some partner HAHA). You who went to buy me a bread when I was just jokingly tell you I was hungry but nonetheless I still accepted your offer. You who never gets mad at me even when I tease you the worst and laugh the hardest. You whom I have shared my taste in music and heard my singing voice all the time. You who always leans on my shoulder and carefully looks at my St.Jude bracelet as if you wanted to ask me to give you one. You whom I will never get tired of teaching in statistics and some life lessons you barely believe (HAHA). You who taught me not to take all things seriously and to laugh a little. Because at the end of the day, we only get one life to live and so we should live it in the best way we could so as time goes by we will have some exciting stories to tell our own children. You made me feel things and for that I know I will surely miss you. Happy birthday, D! I can’t wait to see you conquer the world being the missionary priest one could ever have!❤️

disney princesses lockscreens

Woke up to the lyrics of a familiar song

The nostalgic yet dubious feeling

That makes you feel uncomfortable.

It's almost Christmas

And our memories still haunt me out of the blue.

It's almost Christmas

And darling I hope for the last time

I could be with you.

To you

It was nearly the beginning of our new chapter together

Same people

Different air

Same people

Different direction

We never have to worry on how things would be because you got me and I got you.

It was just that simple.

But what we didn't know is that your "beginning" was not synonymous to mine.

Beginning for you is starting over again and leaving the old pieces behind.

Beginning for you meant new memories with your new one and setting aside that old photograph of ours.

Beginning for you meant the start of you, running away from me and taking the easy way out.

And in that my love, I could infer how different our world is.

Because beginning for me was jumping into the unkown with you holding my hand knowing I will be just fine.

Beginning for me was having a different environment but still going home to my safe haven, and that is you, it has always been you.

Beginning for me was going to the opposite direction yet I'm never bothered because I know I'll meet u in solid ground.

But that was then, and this is now.

It's been months and I would not want to reminisce every bit of it because it would get me too emotional. It is true when they say some people do leave you a permanent scar and you will never be the same again.

I no longer cry for you anymore. I no longer cry when I remember you holding my hand and feeling the warmth of your skin. I no longer cry when I buy me my favorite doughnut when it was you who had been doing such thing before. I no longer cry for you my love and it's the worst, because I have kept my feelings to myself for the longest time. I don't cry for you anymore. But I cry when a certain song comes on which I don't even know in the first place. I cry when I see people close to me cry even if I don't have to. I cry when I watch a sad movie knowing that in the past, I never cried when you told me to watch "Kimi No Nawa". I don't cry for you anymore. But I cry for the smallest of things which always seem so shallow.

"The world will never be the same

And you're to blame".

dustyroseandunicorns-blog

As the daylight shows, we have to go

We knew this day would come

We knew it all along

How did it come so fast?

It has been one hell of a ride, au. But without you, it would be worse.

These past few days, I really wanted to reminisce our moments together. But I told myself to hold back and just seize every second with you.

This day marks the end of our classes and it doesn’t feel like the end of it all. It feels a normal day. It feels like everything is just as it is months back. Parang kailan lang yung sumugod tayo sa admin dahil di natin matanggap yung sectioning. Parang kailan lang yung nagtatawanan tayo sa first day natin sa electronics dahil takot si ryan na hawakan yun kasi akala niya nakakakuryente. Parang kailan lang din yung nagrarush tayo ng research papers then pabalik balik sa computer shop kasi marami pang mali sa manuscripts. Parang kailan lang din yung pumunta tayo sa Cauayan for RICE. I admit that it was the best week of my life. We went there to attend a contest but it seems like we’ve had a week-long vacation. Parang kailan lang din yung first time nating nag boycott sa research. And I thought that would be the first and the last but last last week, we shut the door and ran away from the non-parametric tests. Parang kailan lang din yung Christmas party na nagvideoke tayo sa room. Parang kailan lang din yung nag celebrate tayo ng Valentine’s Day together sa Eva’s na mag jeep sana tayo kaso walang dumating hahahaha. We had more memories than I have imagined we could have when we’re just on the 9th grade.

This is our last night but it’s late

And I’m trying not to sleep

‘Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away

Now, we only have three weeks left. Each night, I always thought of how would it be like when everything reminds me of all of you when the school year ends. And it scares me. The thought itself terrifies me. Because the greatest fear I have is the fear of losing and separating — the fear of losing some people in my life knowing that after this, we would barely talk and the fear of being separated with all of you.

You’ve been the best, au. You’ve been my happy pill. The light to this dark abyss. The warmth I always feel. Always remember that you always hold a place in my heart, no matter what happens.

And when the daylight comes I’ll have to go

But tonight I’m gonna hold you so close

'Cause in the daylight we’ll be on our own

But tonight I need to hold you so close

Shany: You’re the best seatmate ever. Thank you for all the gossips we’ve had during discussions. Thank you for backing me up when I needed one. Thank you for hearing me out especially when I rant out all the nonsense things. Thank you for being my crying shoulder. Know that I’ll always be here for you and I am always here to hear you out when Elee makes you feel kilig hahahaha. Thank you for hearing me out when you’re the first one I tell things to. Thank you for being just yourself. I admire you so much for your personality, beauty and wit. Love you Shany❤️ Good luck and God bless, our future accountant 💕

CJ: I never had a boy bestfriend till you came. You’re my first boy bestfriend and I am lucky enough to have someone like you. Thank you for being the one I can run to whenever I have problems. Thank you for hearing my rants. Thank you for making me feel that I am worthy of everything. Thank you for all the hugs when I’m longing to have one. Thank you for the constant reminder that I deserve to be loved and that I am not just a void in this vast universe. Always remember that I am always here you can cling on to and I am always here when you needed to vent out things. Love you ceej💕

Janae: Baby wendy, I am lucky enough to have you in my life. I’ve known yoy since 2nd grade and I know you have that good personality. We used to play a puzzle wherein images were formed basta yun di ko maexplain hahahaha. Thank you for all the jokes kahit na sinasabi ko na di havey pero sa totoo lang havey talaga hahahaha. Thank you for making me think that I am not what I think I am. Thank you for making me realize that I am capable of everything. Thank you, because through you, I was able to yank out of my shell. Thank you for making me laugh in times of despair. Thank you for making everything possible lalo na yung kay ano hahahahaha. Always know that in times of trouble, I am always here that you can run to. Never ever let anyone dull your sparkles, my dear. Love you nae💕

Ayra: Monay, in times of despair, you always cheer me up. You taught me how to stay positive even though things are falling apart. Thank you for all the laughters especially the ones we’ve had at CVHPP. Thank you for being one of my confidante. Thank you for always listening to my problems. Thank you for being there with me though ups and downs. Don’t overthink always because it will consume you so much more than what you imagine. Love you monaybellsss💕

Shane: Shane, please don’t let your negative thoughts dominate you. I know you’re hiding your problems and I adire you for overcoming those. Thank you for making me feel loved at all times. Always remember that I’m always here when you needed one to talk nonsense things to hahahahaha. You matter. Always remember that. Love you Shane💕

Kezia: I thought back then that you’re shy, and too silent. But you’re the opposite. Thank you for being there with me through the dark times. Always know that I’ll always be here. I know that the last weekend has been hard for you but I know your stronger than your problems. Always remember that. Love you kc💕

Emil: You’re the most unexpected person that came to my life. I never thought that you would be my one of my boy bestfriends next to ceej. Thank you for cheering me up always. Thank you for making me feel loved just like others do. Thank you for all the good mornings, good nights, tulog na, and everything. Sorry for everything that had happened before. And I wanted you to forget what I have said to you before. Remember that I am always here when you needed someone to talk to. Love you beshiecakes 💕

Nina: I thought that you’re a masungit kind of person as most says when you were promoted way back 8th grade. But as I am in the same table as yours, I learned that you’re not. You’re kind, sweet and beautiful. Don’t ever let them underestimate you. Use your words to voice out positivities. Never be downgraded with the words they say about you. Thank you for being kind to me and thank you for all the laughs and gags. Love you Nina💕

Harvey: When you were promoted in the 8th grade, I thought you were Joshua and I thought Joshua was Harvey. Funny right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Legit yan. Through the bad times and through the good times, always remember to smile and cheer up. You’re kind and if someone tells you otherwise, then they don’t know you too well. Always know that I’m always here whenever you needed a friend. Love you harvey💕

Yran: Hi love! I know these past few days have been hard for you. Never ever let a single problem dominate you. There are more things to life than him. Always remember that. Thank you for giving me hugs when I’m longing to have one. Thank you for being a good friend of mine. You’re kind, cute, smart and most especially, handsome. Don’t let other people think otherwise. Stay positive always. Love you , love💕

Laurence: You’re personality annoys many people so much that you almost hate them. But I’m not with them. I love how you shut people out when you argue with them. I love how you dance to the tune of kpop songs. I love the way you talk too much. I love how you make fun of people. But always remember that you have limitations to everything. Not all people has the same attitude towards others. Always remember that your secret will be kept and I have never told anyone about it. Stay the way you are and never ever change yourself just to become a person everyone looks up to. Love you lau💕

The sky is getting bright

The stars are burning out

Somebody slow it down

Andrew: You’re the most intelligent person I’ve ever met in my existence. Walang halong biro yan. Thank you for teaching me how to solve math problems when I don’t know how. Thank you for listening to me whenever I open up to you. I never thought I would have so many memories with you and thank MTAP, AMPIQS and StatCha for having the chance to be close to you. Thank you MTAPmate for everything. Never ever let others pull you down. Good luck and God bless to your journey ahead. Love you Andrew (yieee baka magselos si ano jk hahahahahaha)

Grace: Your jokes truly make me laugh even though I tell you otherwise. Thank you for being with me and for strolling me around Baguio. You have such a brave soul, Grace. Never ever change that. Always know that you and Andrew are the best MTAP and contest buddies ever. Continue to aspire your love for math. Love you Grace❤️

Abcd: Whenever I open your journal, I see the inner you. I know many people are afraid to approach you for they thought you are mataray. Don’t let other people think otherwise. I admire you so much for yiur creativity. Thank you for all the nonsense talks during discussions. You, shany and felmar will always be my fave tablemates. Don’t ever let anyone turn your colors into hues. Continue to pursue your love in arts and pursue what your heart and mind tells you to even Jungkook char. Love you abcd❤️

Naiza: You’re so cute that every time you laugh, other people will also laugh. Never break the bond of your friendship with abcd, grace, andrew and sam. I swear the five of you makes a wonderful squad. Never let anyone bring you down. I wish you all the luck our future accountant! Love you naiz❤️

Sam: I admire you for being fearless. You’re not that shy person I thought you are. Continue to cheer up other people. Love you sam❤️

This is way too hard, 'cause I know

When the sun comes up I will leave

This is my last glance that will soon bet memory

Kenneth: Au fam is so lucky to have someone like you. You’re the happy pill of Au. You always lighten up our day with your jokes. Always remember that we’re always here for you. Continue to aspire your love for filming✨

Felmar: hi dear eic! Thank you for helping me through filipino especially when it comes to unlocking new tagalog words. When people underestimate you, always show them that you’re not what they think you are. When people laugh at you, shut them out with your words of wisdom. Continue to be the felmar we always knew✨

Ronnie: I never thought I would be close to you. When you were promoted, I admit that we’re a little bit afraid of you. But you changed our first impressions. Always be the jolly and cheerful Ronnie✨

Jemarie: Never let a single thought bring you down. You’re not what they thought you are. Always be the Jemarie who is intelligent and so masipag. Never ever let them pull you down😉✨

Freidrich: I admire you for your intelligence especially in the hs days quiz bee. Continue to piling up more knowledge and show the world what you’ve got ✨

Daryll: Your magic tricks and jokes always make us laugh. Continue to make others laugh in times of gloom. Stay that ever cheerful Daryll we knew ✨

Aaron: As I have read your blog, I realized how shy I am towards the people I am not close to. When we had our firsr conversation, you changed my perspective about you. You’re not that kind of person that everything thinks you are. Stay positive in all things ✨

Timi: Thank you for hearing my rants whenever I open up to you. Always remember to not break your bond with the Lord and always strengthen your faith ✨

Darylle: I never had a chance to talk to you but I know you’re a good and kind person. Never let them pull you down✨

Kryssha: I’m not that close to you but I know you’re just like any other people. Continue to be jolly and cheerful and I hope you’ll meet your kpop idols soon✨

Judee: Stay positive even when the world tells you otherwise. Always be kind to everyone and use your words to enlighten people✨

Kat: I wanted to say sorry for all the pain we’ve caused you. I know that in thr beginning it’s hard but I thank God for giving you the kind of people who can truly cheer you up. Never let other people pull you down. Love you kat ✨

Christelle: I admire you so much with how you inspire others with your words. Continue to pursue your love for journalism. Use your words to rekindle people’s hope✨

Joshua: I admire you so much with your talent in dancing. Continue to dance your problems away and don’t ever hurt ate yieeee ✨

Precious: I don’t know you too well but I know your kind and soft hearted. Always be humble and stay kind✨

Buena: Continue to just sing your heart out and show everyone what you’re good at. Always stay positive amidst problems✨

Ryan: I hope you will keep your promise that you will not hurt Janae. Stay the way you are and always be happy ✨

Salve: You matter. You’re beautiful, kind and intelligent. When people tell you otherwise, shut them down. You’re not what they think you are. Strengthen your faith in God and He will help you through it all ✨

Micah: I may not that close to you but I know you have the heart of gold. Stay positive ✨

Karissa: You’re such a great macaroon Baker. Continue to be jolly and don’t let them pull you down ✨

Jonard: You have a great voice dear. Continue to enhance it and show them your talent ✨

John roe: I admire you so much for having strength in overcoming problems. Never let anything or anyone dim your faith in God✨

Angelica B: Gurl, your beauty and height outstands us all. You’re so lucky to have cj. And he will never ever hurt you. Since day 1, I am a fan of celine hahahahahaha. I hope to see you and cj together soon hahahahaha 💕💕💕

Angelica C: Your laugh is epidemic that your laugh makes us all laugh. Continue to cheer people up✨

Karlos: You’re too silent in class. But I admire you back in research days when you’re not terrified in handling rats ✨

Karen: I know that you’re as cheerful as anyone. Continue to be jolly at all times✨

Julia: Never let anyone dull your smile. Continue to aspire what your heart tells you to✨

Kristel: At first, I thought you are mataray but you’re not. Stay kind always ✨

Joanna: You’re height doesn’t define what you’ve got. You’re more than what people think you are. Stay positive ✨

Whesley: I know that you’ve changed. But somehow, I hope you will not be that short - tempered whesley when we enter shs✨

I never want it to stop

Because I don’t wanna start all over

Start all over

I was afraid of the dark

But now it’s all that I want

All that I want, all that I want

The lyrics say it all. I will truly miss you and the memories, au fam. I really wanted the stress and reqs to end but not the memories and time with you, au. It has been a long and tough journey with you. Thank you for the memories, the laughters, the “boycott” memories, the “fridays with au”, and everything. 20 years from now, we will have a reunion and I am excited and looking forward with how we will look like in the near future. I hope that if we will meet again, we would be just like the Au that has been cheerful. There are no ways to escape goodbyes but goodbyes are the start of a new chapter. LOVE YOU AU FAM😭😭😭

This hit me so hard especially the lyricssss😭😭. Ghadddd❤️❤️

“Mahal ko kAU”

From being the innocent fighters we were back then, to becoming the fearless tigers we are now. The long ride will soon be over and all that’s left for us are memories, like faded photographs pressed between pages of a notebook.

So here’s for all of you, for someone who survived the pressure and for someone who became a family to me.

To Joshua. Nine years is enough for me to know that you have really grown into a one responsible young man. The girl of your dreams will surely be the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like you. Don’t stop doing good things Joshua! You really are doing great!

To CJ. Not everyone likes you at first sight and that’s okay. You never fail to remind us, girls, how to act like one and please know that that is much appreciated. God bless youuuu cjjjj! And teach me your guitar skillsxz senpai!

To Andrew. I thought I could never make corny jokes to you because we all know your level’s too high. But then I realized that God never really gives everything to anyone the moment you crack the corniest of jokes. You’re not just an academically smart student but also a real-life smart student Andrew. God bless you!

To Kenneth. You’re often the life of the party and I can’t even imagine what it’s like to not have you in 10-Au. But behind those laughter I know you also got problems. So stop pretending to be happy when you really aren’t. It’s okay to be not okay sometimes, always remember that. Good luck on the next years Kenneth!

To Ronnie. The way you speak in front of our class really entertains not just me, but the whole 10-Au. I can’t wait to see Atty. Ronnie Ballad in the future. God bless you!

To Laurence. I don’t know why despite of all the things you’ve done out of your selfishness I still find the goodness in you. Maybe because in that unshakable heart of yours you are really a good man. Keep shining Laurence and I hope to see you in the future!

To Freidrich. You’re my team mate along with Daryll and how I wish we could still be classmates in the future. I’m a witness of how intelligent man you are. Keep that up and good luck in the future!

To Karlos. We’ve been research group mates and there I realize that you seem to have a good sense of humor and that’s quite amazing. God bless you Karlos!

To Aaron. You really have that good accent in English since then and I really admire that about you. God bless you Aaron!

To Daryll. You always entertain me with how you tell stories and the way you do magic tricks. I know we could really make a great team. HAHAHA. Stay charming daryll!

To Harvey. I’ve known you since our elementary days and I know how your lola raised you so well. You may not have the funniest of jokes sometimes but always remember that I’ll never forget you. Never be ashamed of who you are Harvey! Remember that you’re perfectly fine!

To Ryan. First and foremost take care of my friend. Hehe. I know you’re a good man and I wish you the best on your next journey! God bless you!

To Emil. You’ve known my ups and downs and you still didn’t leave me. How great it is to have you as my closest friend, really. It has been a fun ride with you and I hope I can still catch up with you in the future.

To Jonard. I really admire your voice and the way you laugh. Don’t stop dreaming Jonard! God bless you!

To Johnroe. You’re killing everyone with your kindness and I think that’s really a good thing. Stay as you are Johnroe, guys like you are one of a few!

To Whesley. In the 4 years that I’ve known you, you could really make a great leader. Stop being so rude and always try to stay calm at times. Hehe. Good luck on your next journey Whesley!

To Felmar. To the EIC and the son of Manuel L. Quezon, I’ll definitely miss you. Huhu. No matter how many times we tease each other you never annoy me. Continue being a smart kid Felmar!

To Timios. You get stress everytime we don’t listen to you and thank God you have been so patient with us. I’ll never forget our speech choir days when you were always teased because of your speaking voice. Thank you for listening to my problems Mr. President. God bless you Timi!

To Yran. To my supermodel and catwalk King, I’ll never forget you. I hope I get to see you in the future and always remember that I will always be your supporter/ “audience”. HEHE.

To Darylle. We may not be that close but I can say that you have that positive vibes of yours. Keep shining Darylle!

To Kryssha. You are a one graceful dancer as I can always see. Don’t stop dreaming and good luck on the next years!

To Judee. We’ve been in the same table in our classroom for how many months and how I wish I could handle stress as good as you do. I really admire how great you are when speaking in front of many people. God bless you Judee!

To Janae. You have always been there to cheer me up when it has been a gloomy day for me. Thank you for sticking up with me even when I get so annoying sometimes. I can’t wait to see Atty. Janae A. Bassig, CPA in the future!

To Buena. Lucky are those who have been blessed with good singing voice and graceful dancing, and you’re very fortunate to have both. Stay as you are Buena!

To Ange. Your beautiful face matches that good heart of yours. I wish you all the happiness the world has to give. Pursue your dreams Ange! God bless you!

To Karen. I had never been that close to you but as I can always see you are this shy type kind of girl. Never be afraid to show the world what you truly are!

To Julia. You have always been this cute girl in our class but you seem to be a fearless girl. Stay kind and cute Julia!

To Angelica. The way you laugh makes everyone laugh. It’s like a virus that’s so contagious and nothing can ever stop that. Stay happy Calvo!

To Salve. It has been a rough year for you but trust me, you’ll get through it inch by inch. We may not be that close but I hope everything is going to get better soon. God bless you Salve!

To Christelle. You’re truly an inspiring writer and no one can ever question that. I admire how much of a fighter you are inside our classroom. I can’t wait to see the day you make name in the PMA!

To Kristel. Everyone loves to tease you and I hope you don’t take those things negatively. I wish you the best in life Kristel!

To Samantha. You sometimes are jologs, and that’s why I like to hang out with you. Thank you for being there for Boveth and treating her like your little sister. I hope I can still see you in the future!

To Naiza. (Insert My Heart Will Go On song in the background) You’re such a cutie and funny person at the same time. I’m really amazed on how you can still play on your phone for how many hours despite of us having loads of quizzes. I wish I could do the same thing huhu. Stay adorable Naiza!

To Grace. You’re one of the most”kalog” classmates I had and that makes you one of a kind. See you in the future Grace C. Guzman, CPA!

To Jeanelle. How I wish I could be so Maria Clara like you. Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on everytime I get so kilig and everytime I have dramas to tell. I won’t forget you as much as you won’t forget me ( HAHAHA). Lovelots!

To Editha. You proved to me that height doesn’t matter when it comes to being fearless. God bless you Editha!

To Micah. I like how funny you are when we get the chance to talk to each other and admire you being so smart especially in our Research subject. You are really a silent worker Micah. Keep that up and let your success be your noise.

To Karissa. Being “kalog” is next to your name and everyone loves you for that. But despite that, I know that you also have problems that you keep. Never be afraid to share it to anyone your heart is comfortable with because it will ease the pain. Trust me.

To Nina. How I wish puberty hits me good as much as it did to you. HAHAHA char. You really touched my heart the moment you wrote me that blog of yours and now you got this soft spot in my heart. I won’t forget you Nina!

To ABCD. Your speaking and writing skills are so good and everyone admires you for that. But behind those sweet victories of yours, you also try to cope up with stress and I know you could handle things well. Keep shining ABCD! God bless you!

To Kath. Stop thinking about the things that do no good for you. You are an intelligent girl and now is the time to show the world what you truly are. Never try to meet anyone’s expectations and just do what you got to do. Always be happy Kath! We’re here for you!

To Shany. I sometimes become annoying towards you, but please do know that that’s the way I show how much I love you. Hihi. I’m always here for you and no matter what happens know that the boy of your dreams will surely be a one fortunate human being.

To Precious. I’ve known you since elementary days but we really are not that close. Thank you for the memories especially during exams! Hehehe.

To Kezia. How I wish everyone has the same heart as yours. I really admire your art skillsxz and always be strong no matter what life throws at you. I’m always here to cheer you up. Lovelots!

To Jemarie. I sometimes wonder if you visited a witch craft to put powers on your brain because your memorization skill is always reliable.HAHAHA. Keep smiling Jemarie! God bless you!

To Katreena. Inch by inch you’re learning what happiness truly means and I’m proud of the person you’ve become now. Stay positive Kat and I hope I’ll see you in the future!

To Joanna. I never knew you were havey ‘til the day you cracked a joke at our group chat. HAHAHAHA. Stay havey Joanna and remember that as David conquered Goliath you can also conquer the world. Yehey!

Goodbyes are bittersweet. But it's not the end, I'll see your faces again. Thank you Au!

definitelynotnika-blog

A C N E S to your B E A U T I F U L

I’ve known you for years already or I must say from the 2nd year of schooling as a child. I’ve known you since kindergarten since we were classmates back then but we barely talk and I can’t even remember a single moment with you from that long-gone memory.

You were the type of kid back then who I never drew my interest in, considering that I am that loud and playful kid and you—you were silent. I barely see you play or hangout with our classmates except for your cousin, I’m not really that sure but those were the tiny details my mind could juice out.

I saw you as just another grain from a rice field back then and yet again, I never was interested…

Grade school came and it seemed like I never saw you again. Except for that moment in 3rd grade where we became the leaders of our patrol and we were the one in-charge of those cringe-worthy jingles and songs and dances (“GO YELLOW BELLS!”) which would probably make me throw up if ever there’ll be chance to look at that moment again for the last time. But still, it was memorable and it still counts.

But then, you were one of the grain I slipped my hands on the journey of running through the field.

Months and years slipped out the calendar. Time flew so fast and before I noticed, we were then Elementary Education Completers. I actually forgot your name during these years (no offense hahaha) and I never really bothered.

High school began and it welcomed us with a blissful, exciting and fun-filled journey with a lot of opportunities and chances we could benefit from and change our lives with or regret of ever taking whatever it might be. It was like riding a roller coaster with your eyes blindfolded and you have no idea which way the track would take you, or if you’ll go upwards or fall from that highest point. In other words, High school is very unpredictable.

And it so happened that we became classmates in 8th grade since I got promoted to the Gold section were you originally stayed. It was nothing new. It was as if I just bumped into a sales lady whom I had discussion on lowering the price from a thrift shop. We were complete strangers but I knew you were on the same room breathing the same air, cleaning the same dust, learning the same page and sharing the same knowledge.

I came back across the field and noticed something, a slight hint from the heavens which defines how pathways cross.

Sophomore year and I knew you more and more. I mean, If you’re sitting in the same class with someone almost 10 hours on a daily basis, who would not see the pattern of personalities among the different faces and laughter and smiles that one gives? Grade 9, I became very expressive. I became very comfortable with the people inside the classroom. I was confident enough approach almost everyone and yeah, I bumped into you.

Yeah, I must say that we weren’t as close as what “friends” should be, but you were my classmate that’s why I consider you as part of my life already.

It was only Grade 9 that time when I realized that you were one of the most approachable people inside the room.

You were not one of those typical back-stabbing fake ass friend that was so rampant during those times that one might consider it as an epidemic inside the room.

If it was, you probably had some strong vaccination and amazing immune system with your tough leukocytes. We became close right after the month of February along with 2 of my best friends.

I admire you a lot, you were different and there was this instinct which makes me want to spend time with you and hang out more. It was hard for me to like someone’s over-all personality yet you gave me a reason to do otherwise.

I knew you were one of the golden grains that caught my eye as I gaze upon the field.

Like a bullet train, Freshman year came with a supersonic speed carrying loads of surprises.

You were one of the passengers.

You were the surprise.

We’ve been through hard times and good times inside the classroom and it was a swift journey with you. You were the one who I can count on and could honestly trust my life with (along with my test papers ‘coz you know why *insert wink emoji*) even though you are not the one whom I spend most of my hours with inside the classroom.

I know also that you are very much aware of how on how much of a freak I am when it comes to misunderstandings and I think I have had arguments and pity fights with everyone in the classroom except for YOU. I’m as shookt as you right now if you’re probably thinking about it and yep, it’s also now that I came to realize it. But hey, congrats! Told ya you were special! Hahaha. You see, I live by what I say and it is to treat others as how they treat you. You just got what you deserve.

I never imagined how a simple girl from kindergarten whom I clearly had no interest with could bring a huge impact in my life.

And then, without me noticing, you were more than just a golden grain, you were something else.

Like how your blemishes seem to leave marks on your face, you are forever remarkable. Like how your acnes fill up your face, you are one gal filled with severely contagious positive vibe. Like how challenging it might be to get rid of those blemishes, you are one tough nut to crack when it comes to getting angry and upset. You are truly unflappable and it’s one the reasons why you are just so admirable. Your sense of humor is unique We share the same humor that’s why life seems so on fleek Your smile can brighten anyone’s day along with your forehead which is always on display You are an epitome of true beauty, May it be interior or exterior, it shows really

I am very much grateful for all of the things you do, big and small. Thanks for being you and for letting me be me in times when we are together and for letting me feel so much like myself when I’m with you. You are one of the people who makes me not want to wear any masks or put on any fronts

I just want to remind you of something not only on the requirements we ought to do, but for the fact that you are one of the most beautiful persons in my life, inside and out. I’d like you to be aware that you make the world a better place, just by being in it.

Thank you for making colors a little brighter, sunshine a little warmer, and hugs a little better. I appreciate you for defining selflessness, and always putting others before yourself; you are going to change the world just as much as you have changed mine. And in a not-so-long time, we both will again have our own paths, just like what happened during Elementary years, but who knows? Just know that you’ll always be one of the biggest part of my high school life. You are one of the reasons why Moving up would make me cry my eyes out and become very emotional.

I’ve never cried over a grain but you are one of my favorite grains, and I never thought I’d be this emotional over a grain.

I’ll miss you. ESKINOL with love <3

This one will never be forgotten. I'll miss youuuu. Epal kaaaa😭😭💖💖

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