Andulka
Noah Kahan
The Bowery Presents
oozey mess
if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
bliss lane
ojovivo
roma★
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Claire Keane
Doug Jones
Sweet Seals For You, Always
NASA
@theartofmadeline
Today's Document
Misplaced Lens Cap
KIROKAZE
noise dept.
gracie abrams
seen from Malaysia
seen from Costa Rica
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Brazil
seen from Türkiye
seen from Philippines
seen from Malaysia
seen from Syria
seen from Colombia
seen from Senegal
seen from Mexico
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from India
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
seen from Vietnam
@aywes
But I want to sleep! That’s what I do during the night! I’d rather not collapse the next day when I actually have other things to do. What a great solution, Beef Boy.
It's a top notch solution, actually- Took me a while to map that one out for you. Coffee, China. Fucking coffee. Hit up a club and then just drench yourself in coffee tomorrow. It's a lifesaver and a fun time.
I’m trying to. But it’s a little hard when the walls are shaking and I can hear it over my TV. Were you even listening? You’re a real fucking Labrador, aren’t you?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you could just leave your room, you know. Do something else.
You people are so fucking loud. Here I am, paying good money to sleep in this amazing bed, but I don’t actually get to sleep. All I hear every night is a bed head banging against a wall and forced screams. I know for a fact that your pin dick boyfriend is not fucking you that good. Please stop.
Try finding something else to do than listening in on other people's fucking.
Nah, it’s all stored up here in my pea sized brain now, I’m going to treasure this information for dear life. As I do with a secrets that people let me in on. You know, people really like to spill all the juicy details with a little prompting. Heeeey, I definitely last more than forty minutes and tequila is disgusting and only to be had when doing body shots because duh. Also, my lap dances are worth it as you can very well see I have a nice ass and if people get lucky sometimes I strip while performing Lady Gaga’s greatest hits.
People like yourself? Or are you busy doing all the prompting? Yeah, you're probably right- I'm sure you're perfectly capable of keeping it up for the entire night. I actually have not had a look at your ass and even if I had I don't think I'm buying you as a stripper talent. Although, I don't think I'd be able to pass on a chance to see you trying your very best at busting a move to the beat of Poker Face, either. That's just AFV-material. Tequila is great, you're ignorant.
I don’t know, I mean you’ve been robbed on more than one occasion. That’s questionable if you ask me. Not to mention, poor judgment in people. I think they give classes on that somewhere, how to read a book by it’s cover. Yup, thats me. The party don’t start ‘til I walk in. It’s the Flynn experience and you have not lived until you’ve well— experienced it.
You know what, I officially regret telling you that. Let it go. It's a faint memory. Now I'm not even completely sure it happened, actually. I'll let you have the one about poor judgement, though. But that's it. I can imagine the Flynn experience being like... Fourty minutes of consistent mockery with a mix of tequila. Maybe a lapdance.
Because you make questionable decisions. I would rather be a little bit of a thoughtless person and losing my shit on my own accord than let people into my home who are going to steal from me. I always have a good time, ‘m the life of the party.
I make perfectly fine decisions. I didn't know they were gonna rob me when I met them- I'm not a psychic. And I was drunk, so. I'm in the clear. Life of the party, yeah? I bet that's something of an experience.
Hey— if you want me to, I can make it happen, babe.
Wanna tell me how you'd make it happen? I'm into details.
I lost my shit due to negligence and not fucking creeps there is a massive difference. I just put my shit down sometimes and never pick it back up again.
I lost my shit due to being robbed. Not my fucking fault in the slightest. You're just reckless. Did you have a good time, though?
I have a hangover from hell, I was going to say someone teach me my limits but— no, don’t do that. I quite enjoy getting fucked into oblivion. If only I could remember where half my shit went. Also, spending more money then I have was not in the plan.
Look who's talking. Lost your shit while hooking up with someone? Way to go.
You bet it is, it’s more than alright. Yeah? Wanna see?
Depends. You planning on taking it off at one point?
You’d be surprised! I look cute in them, you should see me in lace.
..Lace? Shit, well... That's- Alright. Would be one hell of a sight, probably.
Make sure you’re not sleeping with kleptomaniacs then?
Should've been easy enough to steer away from, but obviously it isn't.
Again, that’s fucking weird. Maybe you should sleep with sane people from now on. You need some kind of screening process, or I’ll single handedly pick out the people you’re allowed to bring home because I have ace taste. It rhymes so it must be true.
They don't seem like maniacs when I take them home, though. Must go through some kind of transition while I'm dozing. Or maybe I'm just shit at picking out the normal ones. If that's the case, feel free to let your ace taste loose the next time. I don't need my entire wardrobe ending up in some kleptos closet.
Oh— Wow! You found my panties! I was wonderin’ where those went!
They're yours, yeah? I don't see you as the guy who'd voluntarily have hearts and shit all over his underpants.
Maybe you should calm down on the random hookups and you would have a better idea where your stuff was. In fact, a lot more of it would still be in your possession.
That is some nice words of wisdom, wiseass. Tell them to stop stealing, don't tell me to stop getting laid.
Wasn’t me. Besides, taking someone’s shoe doesn’t seem like a very normal thing to do after a one night stand. We may have a burglar on our hands. The Pantie Dropper?
Must've been a shit burglar. If I'd been dead set on robbing the apartment of some guy I just slept with, I'd at least take something of value. Like, a coffee machine. Or my Rolex. Not my shoes, christ.
This is the weirdest fucking thing I’ve heard all day, I hope you know. Did you just like walk home with only one shoe? Are the bitches stealing your shoes? That’s fucked up.
Right? I don't actually walk around with just one fucking shoe on my feet, man. Apparently someone must've thought it would be hilarious to take one of my shoes as a souvenir, I don't know. S'kind of weird.
