prometí no enamorarme

[betterthankanyebitch]

[azulmonterrey]

flrcs‌:

“Call me a pendejo again, you know I love being insulted. Really gets me going,” he says distractedly, letting out a defeated sigh when he couldn’t easily spot his lighter anywhere, and tossing a rolled up pair of her socks at her from the dresser. “Sounds like fun, let’s do that,” he walks over to flop down on the bed beside her, lifting himself up with his forearm. “Ladies first.”

“i hope you didn’t mean weed because i don’t actually know where your lighter is,” azul said with an exaggerated smile, grabbing a book from her nightstand that she’d never opened and mostly just used for putting things on it, such as lines. “you got a card?” she asked, barely giving him a second to reply before fishing in her drawer for one, a christmas starbucks one that someone had given her. “were you just downstairs? i feel like a bad hostess, but there was just no one interesting around, you know.”

[azulmonterrey]

brvdleymilligan‌:

Bradley’s eyes gave a brief flit as Azul sat besides her, mentally logging the distance. It was an instinctive reaction, in any situation that she was placed into: clocking how far a person was sat, the estimated time it might take them to reach out a hand and grab something. She didn’t even notice it, any more, or gauge that it wasn’t normal. That was what happened, when childhood was a balancing act, wobbling with your arms extended on the tip of a knife’s point. There wasn’t room for errors, or relaxing the tension in your shoulders. Every house was just a building with hastily memorised escape routes. “It’s not as dramatic as people say,” Bradley offered, palming two of the tabs and thumbing the seal to a close, baggy tossed aside to be swallowed by the duvet’s rumples. “It’s like, erm… I guess the first time I did it, I kept thinking about bacon.” Pause falling, imaginary audience leaning forwards in their seats with a captive breath, trying to anticipate whether the theatre curtain was about to fall out of nowhere, it wasn’t obvious that she was going to continue. It wasn’t often obvious that she was about to do anything. “The edges of shit went kind of fuzzy, I guess, and it made me hear this sizzling. You know, like a breakfast pan. Grease, with the heat turned high.” A vignetted memory, in which her mother finally mustered the energy to get out of bed. Her father was out, and Bradley blinked awake to the sound of pots in the kitchen. The hum of a nursery rhyme, as snowflakes stacked against the window ledge, a globe settling into peace again after an violent shake. Bacon. “Just shit like that, really.” Lifting one of the tabs, Bradley dropped her mouth open, casually setting it onto her tongue. It was print with a half peeled banana, cartoon and irritatingly yellow – she’d never liked the colour, since she’d always found it far too happy. An ugly smile, without the teeth to prove it. She held out her open palm, other one waiting for Azul post swallow. The disintegration tasted rancid, but she didn’t react. “You jump, I jump, Jack.”

at this point in her college life azul had been to enough parties that she was starting to struggle finding anything exciting about them, yet she kept throwing them because status could be easily lost and it just wasn’t in her plans. the little yellow tabs looked inviting just because they were new, different, and she had to stay in the move always or she would die of staleness. “that doesn’t sound so bad,” she replied trying not to sound hesitant. it was hard to tell if she was just spacing out or if the wheels were turning behind scenes and she just couldn’t quite get a glimpse at what was really happening. “okay, sure, i’ll do it for the bacon,” she nodded, holding the tab and mimicking what she’d seen her do, closing her eyes as she felt it disintegrate. it wasn’t a pleasant taste, but it was different enough from anything she remembered. “that was gross, feel like i need a mint after that,” she said, nose scrunched up as she sat further back on her bed, lying down and staring up at the ceiling. “come on, i won’t bite — it’s always better lying down, gets to your brain faster or something.”

[azulmonterrey]

benjigates‌:

“No, no problem. Just — I’ve got funny associations with Florida, I guess. I went when I was ten with my parents and ended up in police custody,” he said, chuckling at the memory despite it likely being absurd to laugh at something like that. Nodding his head, Benji glanced at Azul. “Maybe she did? I mean, I do learn visually and she smokes, so…” trailing off with a shrug of his shoulders, he leaned against the side of the window. “Sketchy?” he asked, brows raising. “How so? I mean, Rochester had a malicious app that essentially killed people. Is it that bad?”

“bit dark, love how you didn’t give me any specifics and i could just assume anything at all, impressive storytelling,” azul said with a chuckle. if anything, she could appreciate someone with a bit of a dark humor. his next sentence left her staring at him though, fully serious. “you know that wasn’t a real question, i was just dissing you for being a baby who chokes on smoke — did you just hang out with your grandma at rochester? i grow more worried with every word you say,” she said, touching her chest feigning real concern. “a malicious app,” she repeated in a mocking tone, rolling her eyes at him. “please, you’ll wish you were getting killed anonymously if you get in with the wrong crowd here. no cowards hiding behind apps here, trust me — but, you know, we do have a nice beach, so it’s not all that bad.”

[azulmonterrey]

benjigates‌:

“Florida?” he questioned, brows raised as if she’d revealed she was a member of the Yakuza. “Huh… I can see it,” he finished, shifting in his spot so he could glance out the window more freely. “I don’t really smoke tobacco,” he admitted. “Makes me a bit woozy.” Nose wrinkling, he shook his head. “Don’t really watch television, or at least, TV like that,” he continued, foot scuffing at the floor for something to busy himself with. “But I have no doubt it’s, uh, good or whatever. Um — Help me how?” 

“do you have a problem with that?” she asked, vaguely amused by his tone, though her hometown was a perfect place as far as she was concerned and she would push him out the window if he disrespected it. it was a first floor, he should be fine. “help you live, benjamin, i’m concerned about you and i’ve only just met you,” she said, eyes wide as she tried not to laugh at her own dramatics. “for starters, tobacco can’t make you woozy, you’re just doing it wrong — clearly, since you nearly just died from a drag. did your nana teach you how to smoke or something?” she said, taking a drag herself, making an unnecessary show out of letting the smoke out. “this seems like a nice place, but it’s sketchy — you gotta know who is who if you wanna have a good time without constantly looking over your shoulder, and i’m basically a local, so.”

[azulmonterrey]

lcofowler‌:

If he’d bet money on it, Leo would put everything down on already knowing Azul - the much more likely case was that he’d seen her while getting used to the beach homes he now was a resident at. He remembered waving at several of his new neighbours, some responding with enthusiasm and others rolling their eyes - obviously nowhere near as excited or welcoming as Azul was for the New Yorkers to take over the area, “Totally makes sense. Think they’re accidentally high all the time? Like, when huffing gasoline was the biggest thing, I’m sure they were the first ones to try it out, y’know? And if it didn’t kill them, they must’ve learned how to do it perfectly. I respect the risk,” Reaching out with the hand that wasn’t clutching onto a fruit-shaped cup, Leo took Azul’s hand into his own and gave it a hearty shake, despite the fact that she hadn’t even offered hers in the first place, “Azul. That’s pretty - isn’t that, like, a colour? Pretty sure Dora the Explorer taught me that one. I’m Leo, greetings, salutations, whatever, you want a drink?”

“oh, they are, feel like any smart ones know how to not get like, poisoned by it or whatever but they’re still doing it anyway because it must be a kickass high — brings you a thousand steps closer to death, but probably worth it,” she said confidently, waving a hand in the air until he grabbed it to shake it, bringing out a bit of a startled laugh out of her. “okay, hi leo, nice to meet you — it is a color, yeah, blue, like the sea which is why i thrive so much near the ocean,” she explained unnecessarily. “i would love a drink, actually, i’ve never been this sober at a place with so many drunk people, i do not like this feeling, what’s the strongest thing you’ve got?”

[alexasdemies]

Alexa Demie for Who What Wear.

[azulmonterrey]

benjigates‌:

His second drag making it alarmingly clear that he didn’t smoke when he began to choke, he placed his arm over his mouth to cover it, moving to the window as he attempted to revive himself. “Where from?” he questioned, taking a seat beside her hesitantly. “Don’t really miss it, no. I mean, my grandma’s there and I feel weird leaving her, but… I also kind of miss my van, which is — Ow!” he shouted, shaking out his arm when he’d accidentally rested the cherry of the cigarette against it, handing it over to her. “All yours. Bad idea — Who’s Marissa Cooper?”

there was something about how he carried himself like an uncertain baby deer that matched the way he talked about his grandma so perfectly, and azul couldn’t quite figure out what to about it. some part of her wanted to see if she could ruin it, and some part was feeling less like destruction and more intrigued. “miami, i’m a florida girl, it’s a fun place to live,” she said with a shrug, eyes following the movement of the cigarette in his hands until he inevitably harmed himself. “had you never smoked before? like, ever? i could teach you, if you wanna look less like a toddler that’s been given their first spoon and keeps sticking it in its eye,” she said, grabbing the cigarette and taking a drag, blowing out the smoke slowly away from his face. “okay, i take my offer back, did you really just live all — what, fourteen years of  your life, and you’ve never seen the oc? there’s so much you need to learn if you’re gonna make it in california, benji, so much, you’re quite lucky you’ve found me, you know, ‘cause i’m willing to help.”

[azulmonterrey]

hczcls‌:

“Weird, hot girls do that for me all the time,” Lottie found herself teasing as she watched Azul closely, hoping that the drugs would be completely forgotten, and she’d give in to her other vices. Luckily, that’s exactly what she did for her, Charlotte letting out a little relieved breath before pressing her lips to Azul’s in return, her hand resting on the girl’s slender neck, and thumb moving to stroke her jaw as she leaned up more, putting more into the drunken kiss. The touch seemed to do the trick, Azul’s mouth was soft and had a familiar taste, vodka and something she couldn’t quite remember, and it was enough to dull her stimulated senses, enough to calm the itching under her skin and bring her back into her body, “Yeah, this is definitely helping,” Lottie found herself saying with a soft laugh, hand sliding down the girl’s shoulder and to her arm, shifting herself up more so she could press closer to the other.

something always felt a little different when she was kissing girls, easier, like she could just instantly sink into it and not have to worry about the details of what might happen later. she meant to say something back to lottie about how she wasn’t too shocked hot girls were throwing themselves at her, but her lips distracted her, the comeback forgotten forever. “good, i’m always her to give a helping hand,” she managed to mumble when she pulled away, forcing herself to not chase right after even though it was her natural instinct, gravity pulling her in. she gave it a second before kissing her again, her arm going around her back to pull her closer, a vague thought in the back of her mind wondering if she’d left the door open and if it would even make a difference. as a concept, lottie had always seemed a little intimdating, but in the flesh azul was finding her to be purely captivating. 

[azulmonterrey]

is there anyone that genuinely scares you at this university? why?

the day i say i’m scared of a college student, that’s when you’ll know i’ve been abducted by aliens and replace by a less cool version of myself.

[azulmonterrey]

[azulmonterrey]

brvdleymilligan‌:

“Shame.” Bradley benched whatever it was that had barely claimed her interest in the first place, swivelling to face Azul fully. Closing their distance further, Bradley reached out and plucked at the baggy with all the authority of a sheriff confiscating illegal recreational’s off a minor, so assured in the gesture that anyone would expect a shiny badge to be pinned to her lapel. She flipped the bag, flicking to rearrange the party favours inside. “Acid tabs,” she quoted, eyes flitting up to catch Azul’s in amusement. “As opposed to fucking… armpit tabs, I guess? Aspirin tabs?” Lips tugged with a faint smile to confirm there wasn’t malice in it – not much, anyway, by Bradley’s standards – she moved to take a seat on the edge of Azul’s bed, apparently making herself right at home. “You haven’t done acid, before?” As self destructive as she was, Bradley had a phase where she tried to tick most drugs she could get her hands on off a mental bucket list, daring each to be the one that dragged her beneath the undergrowth, disappearing with a hand clawing around the soil, disturbing the worms. It wasn’t that she wanted something to, per say, she just didn’t care. She hadn’t cared, since she was twelve. After prying open the Ziploc seal, she darted a glance up towards Azul. “Wanna?”

“wouldn’t be the first time some nerd tried to give me aspirin tabs like they were some fun shit,” azul said with an eyeroll. following her lead, she sat next to her, watching her inspect the bag while trying to drown this feeling she had, like she was a cat that’d dragged in a dead mouse and was waiting for a veredict on it. it was disgusting feeling at the pit of her stomach, like she was seeking for approval from a stranger just because she’d seemed more careless than she could ever be, and she wanted to get rid of it, the tabs sounding like an easy way out of overthinking the situation. “i’ve never done it, no, usually stick to molly —  i’ve heard whacky stories but people get so creative when they’re trying to act cool ,” she said, like that wasn’t exactly what she was doing herself. looking back up to her eyes after staring at the bag for a second too long, she nodded, trying to disguise her hesitance. “sure. i — i don’t know how much is like, a sane quantity not to absolutely lose my shit, you know? don’t wanna end up setting anything on fire mostly, that’s my limit for tonight, no arson this time.”

[azulmonterrey]

benjigates‌:

“Really just emphasizes the differences between East and West Coast when you put us all together like this,” he remarked, thanking her as she extended the cigarette out to him. He found it a little strange she chose to smoke it inside, but maybe California was different. “I’ve never really — really been in this side of the country before,” he said for no reason really, stuttering before finally revealing his own name. “Benji… Nice, uh, nice name.”

opening up her window and sitting on the ledge, she patted the spot next to her so he’d come over with the cigarette, though her room was usually filled with smoke anyway after parties. benji seemed like a little lost sheep that had stumbled innocently into her, and azul couldn’t help but feel an itch to do bad things at the sight of him. “i don’t know, i’m from the east coast and i feel like people are the same in most places — basic, for the most part,” she shrugged. “thanks, benji — your name suits you, you know,” she added, her smile making it hard to tell if it was a compliment or not. “are you missing sad grey rochester already? feel like people are mourning it like there was something good about it when we have the best beaches in the whole west, did you know we’re like, right next to newport? that’s marissa cooper’s hometown, so.”

[azulmonterrey]

heavnlyed‌:

         the outfit is ruined. merlot on linen that rolls off her collarbone in beads to her shoes, her legs, the front of her dress, she’s carrie white in pig’s blood. the look on her face completes it all, really, as ivy boggles at herself in the mirror on the far side of the room to assess the damage. ‘ kind of. ’ in a brief shrug her shoulders rise and fall, an arm extended to the floor to pick up a towel from the bathroom. ‘ i just need a new dress. shoes too, but i can go barefoot. no one will notice. ’ at the end of the night she’ll walk home with blackened soles as she always does, straps of her heels clasped between her fingers. ‘ do you have something i can borrow? i’ll wash it and return it to you later. oh, ’ a solitary finger raises to press against her lips. ‘ i won’t tell either. lips are sealed. deal? ’

raising an eyebrow, azul crossed her arms over her chest, taking a good look at the state of the dress, trying to figure out if it could be saved. “okay, fine, it’s enough of an emergency but if i’m trusting you with my clothes you better be good to them,” she said, holding out a finger like she meant for it to be threatening, but her tone held no heat. opening up her closet, she glanced at her one more time, mentally going through her things until she located a dress, and turned to the closet to grab it. “this should fit you — i have tiny feet, but you can try on my shoes if you want,” she added, staring at her bare feet with a grimace. “i’d kill for my shoes though, so bring them back in perfect shape or we’ll become nemesis, and trust me, i’m very good at being people’s enemy.”

[azulmonterrey]

hczcls‌:

There was a familiar sensation to the moment. A seemingly innocent proposition from her peer, a night of easy fun, a tiny window of possibility that one could be laced, could bring her that peace that she’d been longing for. Lottie’s hand went to her eyes, too drunk now to care much about the smearing of her thick eyeliner as she sat up, verdant green eyes meeting the mahogany brown of Azul’s… “You wanna keep my blood flowing?” She found herself teasing, deciding the best thing for her sanity, for her sobriety, was to test down a different path, her head tilting as she leaned back on one of her hands, “Because I can think of at least a dozen other ways for you to do that,” Lottie muttered suggestively, giving her a slight smile as she reached over to brush Azul’s hair from her shoulder, “if you’re interested in anything like that I mean.”

it was hard to tell if lottie was anywhere near alright — she didn’t look it, but mostly she looked upset, and azul was not usually a kind soul, but when seeing a pretty girl in distress she felt it was her duty to help out, as long as she could do that with her hands rather than her words. “hot girls don’t usually materialize on my bed out of thin air, feel like it’d be almost against the universe if i said no,” she said, her tone changing slightly, the little bag forgotten already as she shifted in place to face her, eyes following her fingers as they brushed her shoulder. “a dozen is a lot, we could just start with an easy one,” she added, barely finishing her sentence before she’d closed the gap between them, pressing her lips to lottie’s. 

[azulmonterrey]

tcmislav‌:

Taking a soccer ball to his backyard - which was literally just the beach - was so much fun. He could so get used to being here. He might not even go home - but he missed his dog too much, he would have to eventually. Still, it was beautiful here and he loved the sense of freedom and relaxation he got, and all it took was some extra degrees of warmth and a week where there were more sunny days than cloudy ones; a nice change of scenery. He idly dribbled the ball back and forth, before a heel kick strayed a little too far out of his control. It let gravity take over and it rolled towards a tanning girl, knocking into her beach chair with a tiny thud, stopping easily as Tomislav scrambled over to get it. “Sorry about that!” he chuckled. “Got away from me, won’t happen again!” *// @azulmonterrey​

the beach was azul’s favorite place in the whole wide world, it was her sanctuary, and it hadn’t always been like that — these were crowded beaches, full of annoying kids being loud when it wasn’t the right time for it, hitting people with frisbees, and all sorts of obnoxious behavior. it had taken her months to teach the little terrors that liked to set up camp in her portion of the beach to scramble when she was around, but now there were new kids around and she was not eager to have to go through it again. “this could’ve gone straight to my head, you realize that, right?” she said, though the hit had been very light, putting her hand down on the ball before he could get it. “could’ve knocked me out in my own backyard, i don’t appreciate that — at all, god, i’m not even sure i should give it back if you’re gonna go around terrorizing innocent girls.”

[azulmonterrey]

brvdleymilligan‌:

Simply put, Bradley wasn’t fond of people. She hadn’t been, since she was young, and she couldn’t work out whether it was something instilled in her, or something she’d been born with. In high school, it was far more prominent, wearing all black everything and sticking anyone within a six foot distance with a knife and fork, cutting them into little, bite sized pieces that she only wanted to spit back out again, and that had carried with her into adulthood, albeit sieved of all it’s chunks until it was easier to swallow, but it was still there. Definitely still there. Azul’s room was a brief reprieve from wanting to bark a laugh in the face of anyone brave enough to talk to her, picking over odd trinkets like she had any business conducting an investigation. She’d never cared for boundaries. “Just looking. That allowed? Can pop my eyes out, like marbles, and hand them right over, if you want,” Bradley answered, off-the-bat and seamless, a connoisseur of thinking on her toes. Anyone would think she’d never been caught off guard by anything. Blinking down at the baggy – all calculating and cat-like, spotting a mouse with it’s whiskers quivering – Bradley’s lips tweaked. Interest snagged. “What’ve you got?”

“i don’t have a jar for them right now, so maybe some other time,” azul said, slightly taken aback by the prompt response but not letting it show, never letting anything show. if it had been a guy, she would’ve kicked them out right away, the snippy tone getting on her nerves easily, but she couldn’t help having a weak spot for girls. usually they ended up getting on her bad side anyway, but it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction to just be mean for no reason, like it would’ve been had it been some frat douche like the ones she was avoiding. “i have some colourfil pills, can’t really them apart — and some acid tabs, look at that, i didn’t think anyone but hippies in weird ancient rock bands did these still,” she offered with a smile, taking a step closer with some hesitance. “had to pry them off some kid’s hands, but he was scrawny and wasted already, it was for his own sake, trust me.”