Charlie Eppes x Fem!Reader - Chapter 1 - Canāt Face Her
A/n: I absolutely had to write this. I am invested in Numb3rs and I am dedicating this to itās small fandom because thereās truly not enough Charlie x Reader fics out there. I love Charlie and this is my favorite role that Iāve seen David Krumholtz in. Anyways I went with the two comments on my opinions neededĀ post and with the readerĀ staying near Charlie rather than moving away. Weāll be starting off with before season 1 starts. The reader convinces Charlie to visit his mother before she passes.Ā Enjoy the angst!Ā
P.S. I stated this when posting my Bernard fic, but I know itās not likely a lot of the same people that read that will read this and vise versa; I am 100% willing to edit and repost this for NB and Masc readers!! (Not that I even use pronouns or gendered terms that much because 2nd person is helpful in that way, but for the times I do Iād like to make my fics more gender inclusive by making more copies of them with different sets of pronouns!)
Ā Ā Ā Not long after the Eppes found out that Margaret had been diagnosed with stage four cancer, after they told all family, you and your parents were the first friends to know.Ā You had noticed something was going on with Margaret when youād gone to visit their house the past few times, and now you finally knew what. While Alan and Don stayed at her side, you went to get them groceries so they didnāt have to step away for even a second. You put away the groceries and peeked into Alan and Margaretās bedroom where she lay, and your heart shattered at the sight. The state of her had gotten much worse since the last time you visited.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Margaret was like a second mother to you, sheād watched you many times as a child when your parents couldnāt. Seeing her like this wasnāt easy. You knew sheād refused chemotherapy, in spite of Alanās wishes. She didnāt want to suffer the pain of treatment on top of the pain she was already fighting. Deep down, she knew she wasnāt going to survive this. She seemed strangely at peace with this, though no one else was. You kneeled at her bedside and gave her a soft smile as tears pricked your eyes. She returned the smile.Ā āHey, Margaretā¦ how are you feeling?ā
Ā Ā Ā āThe best anyone can when theyāre dying.ā She gave a shrug and chuckled dryly.Ā āDarling, Iām with my family, minus one member, Iāll be alright.ā She assured, grabbing your hand. HerĀ āMinus one.ā Comment made you realize Charlie wasnāt there, and you hadnāt seen him when you walked in. You knew what that meant. You sighed and kissed Margaretās hand before getting up to find your best friend.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āCharlie!ā You shouted as you approached the shed where the young man always hid when he couldnāt handle his grief. He channeled it into an impossible math equation that had never been solved. He knew it would lead to no end, and that was the point. A permanent distraction. Unfortunately, it was never permanent, and made his overall grieving process more painful as a result. You slid the wooden door open and stepped inside to see exactly what youād expected to. Blackboards were put up at every angle available within the shed, and Charlie was scribbling equations onto them with a concentration fueled by emotions you knew were related to his momās illness.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āCharlieā¦ā You spoke his name again, quieter now, and with a hint of despair.Ā āYou canāt hide in here forever. I know itās hard but you have to come out of here.ā He just ignored you and kept scribbling. The squeaking of the chalk on the blackboards was beginning to bother you more with each second. You knew words werenāt going to do anything, so you grabbed his arm and made him turn around. He gave you a frustrated look, or at least tried to, but sadness shone in his eyes.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āNot now Y/n, Iām in the middle of an important calculation.ā You furrowed your eyebrows and snatched the chalk out from his hand.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āScrew your calculations!ā You exclaimed with frustration, but then you quickly calmed your tone. āCharlieā¦ I know this is hard for you.. But I also know youāll regret not spending this time with your mother.ā You tugged on his arm to get him to look away from his work, and when he looked at you, he looked angry.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āI need to focus! And- and youāre distracting me!ā He yelled, pulling his arm away from you. You were surprised, because he hardly raised his voice, and especially not at you.Ā āI need you to go, I have work to do.ā
Ā Ā Ā āOh, come on Charlie you know this equation is pointless-ā
Ā Ā Ā āI said go!ā He yelled louder. He hardly let you get a word in. You knew you werenāt going to get anywhere with this argument, so you huffed and left.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Over the next couple months, you visited frequently, bringing food and comfort into the Eppes home. Your parents came too when they could. Every time youād visit, you popped in to check on Charlie, who was working on the same equation. You always tried to say something to encourage him too see his mother, but he just brushed you off and kicked you out. It hurt, to say the least, but you knew his dismissive nature had nothing to do with you. He was in pain, and he refused to acknowledge it.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Eventually, it came down to Margaretās final days. You knew it was now or never, so you went into the shed and took off the headphones he had been wearing, took the chalk out of his hand, and turned Charlie to make him face you. Deep down, he was glad you did. He hated how heād pushed you and his family away, but he hadnāt been ready to feel the full effects of his grief.Ā āCharlie. I know you hate this as much as the rest of us, but please. Iām begging you. Leave this shed, leave your work behind, and come see your mom. A future version of you will be glad you did.ā He looked at you with an unreadable expression, first seeming frustrated, then confused, then his face dropped completely, andĀ you could see tears forming in his eyes that quickly began to fall. You quickly wrapped your arms around him and let him sob into your shoulder until he was ready to speak.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āI canātā¦ I canāt face her. Iām scared. I donāt want to believe sheās dying. I know she is, I just.. Oh god, Y/n. My mom is dying. I c-ā Then he burst into more sobs, and your heart continued to shatter, like every piece in your chest was just determined to continue breaking off into smaller pieces until your heart was just a pile of sand.Ā āShe has always been so strong, lifted me up when I was weak, I donāt think I can be the strong one.ā
Ā Ā Ā You shook your head and gently ran your fingers through his curly hair to calm him.Ā āYou donāt have to be. If anyone needs to be strong, Iāll do it. Your family is like my second family, I will be here with you all, my parents will come visit. Weāll be the strong ones, weāll help you all through this. Your mom wants you by her side. I know itās easier to be here, surrounded by something familiar and comfortable, but youāve got to escape whatās comfortable and be with your family. They need you.āĀ
Ā Ā Ā āNo, they donāt need me. Theyāll be okay if I stay here.ā He spoke, trying to convince himself there was truth in his words.
Ā Ā Ā āThey do need you. I promise you they do. This impossible equation is not whatās important now. Come see her, just for a little bit. As long as you can handle.ā Charlie didnāt respond for a long moment. He was regulating his breath and trying not to cry again, and you continued holding him, not letting go until he did.Ā
Ā Ā Ā He took another deep breath before speaking,Ā āOkay. Iāll try.. I love my mom, I do, I just-ā
Ā Ā Ā āI know. You donāt have to explain yourself to me. Letās go.ā You led him out of the shed and the two of you walked back into the house, and on the way there, he grabbed your hand and held it tight.Ā
Ā Ā Ā You stepped into the master bedroom and Margaretās eyes lit up.Ā āOh, Y/n. Thank you for bringing him.ā She smiled, and Charlie knelt at her side, grabbed her hand, and then he couldnāt help it, he just cried. Don noticed and knelt beside him, giving him a side hug as they both looked at their mother. Alan was knelt beside her on the other side of the bed. You stood in the doorway, and with all her boys at her side, she beamed at you and mouthed anotherĀ āThank you.ā She looked tired, yet content. You nodded, blew her a little kiss and left. They needed this. Just the four of them.Ā
Ā Ā Ā The next morning, your parents shook you awake to inform you that Margaret had passed away peacefully in the night. Your heart dropped, but you knew that Margaret at least got to see her husband and both sons one last time, and once she had that, she was ready to go. You got ready and ran over to see the Eppes, your parents following behind you. Margaretās body had already been taken away, and all three men still stood around her deathbed. Don was holding onto his brother, with Alan wrapping himself around both of them. Then they let go as you and your parents walked in. Your father gave Alan a hug, your mother gave Don a hug, and you gave Charlie a hug. You all cried. Once all immediate tears had been shed, you sat around in the living room and talked about the wonderful woman youād all had the pleasure of knowing while she was alive. Alan told the most stories. You held onto Charlieās hand the whole time, making sure he knew you were supporting him.
Ā Ā Ā After a while of talking, you and your parents cooked lasagna, Margaretās favorite. You had to make sure the family was still eating. You knew grief made people lose their appetite, it had happened to you before. You sat around and talked some more, but not long after dinner begun Charlie got up from the table and went up to his room. You followed soon after. You opened the door to find him exploding into uncontrollable sobs. You ran over to sit beside him and wrap him up in your arms.Ā āYouāre right. I shouldāve spent more time with her. Iām such an idiot, and now sheās gone-ā You quickly shushed him to shut down his spiraling.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āShhhh, Charlie, itās good that you saw her when you did. She was holding on for you, when you showed up, she finally felt ready to pass on because she had all the most important people in her life at her side. Donāt regret the time you spent away from her, be kind to yourself for spending what time you did with her. Charlie she loved you, she understood why you needed to be away. Donāt be so hard on yourself.ā You assured him softly, and he couldnāt find the words to respond, but your words consoled him, and he calmed down again.Ā āLetās go back downstairs and finish eating dinner, alright?ā He considered just hiding away in his room for the night, but knowing you would be sitting beside him made him feel more prepared to go back to the table.Ā
Ā Ā Ā The rest of the night felt calm, but the heavy air in the room still weighed on you all. Your parents went home, but you decided to stay, because you wanted to look after the grieving family. Your parents came back later to bring you an overnight bag, and you dressed in your pajamas and got ready for bed before lying down in the guest bed. You laid awake for a while, thinking about Margaret being gone, and the state in which youād seen the Eppes that you knew would last. As you thought quietly about all the sweet moments youād had with the woman over the years, you heard a knock on the door.Ā āCome in!ā You hollered. Charlie creaked the door open and saw that you were laying in bed, and assumed heād interrupted you trying to sleep.
Ā Ā Ā āOh Iām sorry! I didnāt realize I-Ā Iāll let you sleep.ā He quickly began to close the door.
Ā Ā Ā āCharlie, I know none of us are sleeping at a normal hour tonight. Come in.ā You insisted. He paused for a moment, then nodded and quietly slipped into the room and sat down beside you.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āThereās nothing I really want to talk about right now, I just didnāt want to be alone.ā You nodded and scooted over to make more space for him to lay beside you, and he did. You both laid side by side on your backs, staring at the ceiling in silence. It reminded you of all the nights youād spent at each otherās houses, staying up and talking about anything you could think to discuss. Though this time, no words could convey what you both felt.Ā After a while, you heard him begin to snore, and soon you drifted off as well.Ā
