Posted a Craigslist ad for a donor, I figure itās as good a place to start as any. I made it clear there would be no sex, Ā a contract of some type would have to be in place and that I had no idea how long it would take.
Thereās even a black guy in the mix, which I didnāt expect.
I donāt know. I feel excited, but super nervous too. I know I said I was going to wait, but I honestly donāt see why I canāt at least start looking for someone while I track cycles and save up and all that shit. Saving wonāt really be hard, Iāve practically stopped eating out cold turkey which is where the bulk of my disposable cash was going (The rest goes straight on my Visa, Cellphone and Student Loan.)
Bestie keeps talking about consulting a doctor and going to a clinic and sheās probably right, but Iām so scared theyāre going to talk me out of it or say no and Iāll just cave and give up and miss out. Ā Iām never going to be able to save the money to do this through a clinic and I honestly doubt a clinic would help me out given the whole dialysis thing. Iām starting to grow concerned that when she does finally wrap her brain around exactly what Iām doing, sheās gonna change her tune about what good plan this is.
Iām nervous about this and wish it wasnāt so Under The Table and Sketch, but I honestly donāt know how else to go about this. Iām 33 already, my fertility has always been a little in question and the longer Iām on dialysis, the lower my chance of being able to conceive is.
I guess Iām just gonna have to roll the dice. Iām gonna have to put myself out there, get to know these guys and hope I have some kind of connection with one of them. Not a romantic connection, but some kind of friendship, something that clicks and makes me thinkĀ āyeah, I could hang out with this guyā.
Iām also starting to worry more about why my parents will say if I manage to do this. I still live at home because the wait for social housing here is so horrendous and I got sick again. But weāre not exactly swimming in cash and there is not a lot of space in the house (less than 800 square feet for the three of us). Iām sure theyāll be happy to have a grandchild, there will just be a shit ton of flipping out first. Then again, housing isnāt really going to be a huge deal until this hypothetical kid needs to be moved out of a crib at 18-24 months (maybe later).
I donāt know. Iāve got a lot of support already from the Bestie and a few other friends, but Iām not stuck in a house with them.
snowghoul
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titsay
germansingergirl
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
turnnoffyourmind
