#demisexual problems

[anxiousgirl]

I feel attracted to people SO infrequently, that when I do… it feels intensely significant to me

[queer-cosette]

There is something so so exhausting about being demisexual while interacting with the ya-novel-fantasy-kinky side of the queer community. People will angrily accuse you of being conservative because you're icked out by the thought of engaging in casual sex and it's like. My Guy I Literally Can't Physically Get It Up If I'm Not Romantically Attracted To My Partner. "Why are you grossed out when you hear the details of my sex life?? Are you homophobic??" Babygirl I am grossed out because sex I have no emotional investment in is extremely off-putting to me and you are yelling the details of what your platonic sex buddy did to you last night in my face. In spite of being very much a beginner when it comes to kink I feel so much more at ease talking to hardcore queer kinksters because they are so insistent about consent and appropriate settings and how people who don't want to be involved don't need to be involved. I don't intend for this post to get popular, I'm just expressing my exhaustion at the idea that people who are put off by the thought of casual sex are all conservative. If this post makes you mad maybe go have a think about why. Aphobes can piss off.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Toodling around with Feeding Alligators. About 9 chapters ahead, but thought I’d share this snippet of how Astarion’s seduction plan is going.

***

Astarion glances back at you. His chin lowers just a touch, gives his eyes a hooded look. “Do feel free to seek me out should you need someone to help alleviate any of those burdens, hmm?”

What a weird way to phrase that. And it’s not like he volunteers to help with literally anything else (that isn’t murder).

“Yeah,” you say, hoping it doesn’t sound as noncommittal as it very much is.

Guy is such a nut.

***

Astarion: *seductively brushing a blade of grass from Eleanor’s hair* Do come see me later, hmm?

Eleanor: *brain playing the mii channel theme at full volume* Wow he’s so weird.

[sapphic-sprite]

I really don’t see fellow aspecs come to the defense of demisexual and demiromantic people enough. more often than not I see them contribute to their ostracization. A lot of the time I see non-demi aspecs hop on the “but is demisexuality/demiromanticism real?” train of thought and it’s harmful. I have lost count of how many ace and aro people I have come across who were unsupportive of demisexual or demiromantic individuals. I shouldn’t have to ask y’all to care about or respect someone in your community. Just because you are aspec that doesn’t mean you understand or have to understand other aspec orientations. You can just respect people and move on.

[scarefox]

me swiping through dating apps: maybe I am just not attracted to 99,9% of the population

the way I sometimes have to force myself to not like someone's pic just because the background is cool or there is a cute pet... that’s not why we are here man!

[number1nothing]

the worst thing about being demisexual is being repulsed by anybody who expresses sexual interest in me before knowing me for at least 5 months... then feeling like an idiot for feeling sexual interest in friends who you wouldn’t like if they had expressed sexual interest earlier.

[mooredemidendem]

Demi folks: Are you 'dating'?

I was in a very long relationship that ended a few years ago. Only found the term demi after it ended. People are asking me out and I've never dated as an adult and I feel like, "Okay I'm not attracted to this person but maybe I need to force myself to go on dates to see if I will or could be?" But that also seems like a TERRIBLE idea.

Please help. I want survey data points and advice.

[demisexual-problems]

demisexual problem #3

*feels attraction* oh no, what if i’m really allo?

*doesn’t feel attraction for a while* oh no, what if i’m really ace?