Eli’s Witchy Journal

☉ Leo ☽ Cancer ↑ Aries they/them | 17

[baby-witch-eli]

Quantifying my Craft

I found this lovely post by @breelandwalker, who I totally recommend checking out, and it inspired me. My cards and horoscopes have been pushing me to reflect on my goals lately so this is exactly what I needed right now! I decided I'd give it a go.

Broad Concepts

I like to follow western traditions; Celtic traditions in particular are near and dear to my heart. This is why I chose to focus my worship in the Celtic Pantheon, and I'm currently working on building a relationship with Brigid. I would consider myself an eclectic, although divination and nature magic are my two main areas of focus. While I like to ask others for advice while I learn, magic is something I prefer to practice on my own. I've only been practicing since late January, interestingly enough I started around Imbolc. So far I've found intentions are the most important aspect of witchcraft and it has helped me greatly to practice intention in all aspects of my life.

Working Space

I began constructing an altar to Brigid yesterday. Frustratingly enough, my mother is going to have me put away all my small little items and decorations tomorrow as we're trying to sell our house. We won't be moving for a few more months though. I'm hoping I'll be able to keep the altar up but I'll look into online altar options if needed. I already keep an online altar to myself on an app called #SelfCare that I would highly recommended.

Right now my altar to Brigid has a white candle in a green holder; a sailor's knot I wore around my wrist until it started to come undone; a silver bell for music and creativity; the first piece of pottery I ever painted; a picture book of the traveling I did around Michigan a few years ago; an empty journal I hope to fill with art and poems dedicated to her; and a beaker (cauldron stand-in) I dedicated by burning a sigil in that holds nineteen white rose petals and a whisker my cat lost. I'm charging a carnelian and working on a piece of fox, the spirit guide she sent me, embroidery to add to the altar. It's positioned on top of an organizer I have on my desk, which is pushed up against a window.

There's a spot under my porch I wanted to use for meditation but I discovered I'm too jumpy and distractible to meditate outdoors. I don't like having my eyes closed when out of the open and I have an exaggerated startle response. Instead, I find it better for me to meditate in the bath. Sitting in water at least ankle deep with the lights off, after everybody else has gone to sleep and when the moon can shine through the window, is the ideal place for me to sit and follow a guided meditation. I find meditations that take me on a journey through my astral space are the most effective.

Ideally, I'd like to be able to have my own space where I can freely spread my altars and workspaces throughout the house. I want to be able to fill it with plants and books and cards and candles. While I'm at home trying to avoid suspicion from my Christian family, I just have to make the most of what I have.

Tools

My first deck is on the #SelfCare app. I call it my "Familiar Deck" as that's the one I'm most connected with. It's brutally honest, which I love. My second favorite deck is the "blue-eyed" deck I use for my Daily Draw. Another brutally honest deck and one I find to be very accurate. When asking Brigid questions, I prefer to use the Yes/No deck. It gives you your answer and is also good at accurately conveying "secondary," not yes/no, messages. You'll notice all of them are online and that's because, once again, I live with my Christian family and must be covert.

I have a quite a few crystals as I, thankfully, was interested in collecting them when I was younger. The tumbled crystals I have are small and few; most of my crystals are raw. I keep forgetting to charge them when there's a full moon out. I'll have to set a reminder or something to that effect. At the very least, I'm happy that I don't have to bother with trying to obtain any without my parents becoming suspicious. One of these days, I'd love to start collecting rings and wear several. It's also silly little dream of mine to get an onyx pendulum someday.

As far as books go, I bought a beautiful journal I've dedicated as my grimoire. It's dark blue with shiny, gold space decals. I would love to collect witchy books but I don't have money and I couldn't get away with it while living at home. I hear there's an excellent discord that stores witchy books and I think it's something I'll look into. For now, my information comes from my internet research. Thankfully, I did debate for several years, so I know how to find sources from accurate cites, but it certainly takes a lot of work to find good information that way.

The Year

I’m interested in learning more about the Wheel of the Year and incorporating it into my practice. Imbolc is especially important to me, as I worship the goddess Brighid. I missed it this year but I hope to celebrate it in the future. I have yet to study the important of dates outside of astrology so I’ll have to make sure I study it more.

History of My Magic

Honestly, I’ve always felt a very strong pull towards magic. I was raised in a very religious family though so I was always afraid that answering the call would condemn me. I grew up reading as many fantasy stories as I could, connecting with any animal I was able to, and spending as much time in the woods or by water as I could. The woods and the water have always felt full of magic to me and inspired me to want to practice witchcraft. Ever since I was little, I’ve had a great fondness and affection for the moon and stars. I’ve also always felt very drawn to Celtic folklore, magic, and Irish culture. I have distant family ties to Ireland and even though it’s a relatively minor aspect of my heritage, it’s always felt the most important to me. Movies like Song of the Sea and Brendan and the Secret of Kells helped tighten my bond with it. I even started learning as much as I could about the Fae after some books I read piqued my interest. I’ve always been the kid who kept a firm belief in magic even after all my friends “outgrew” it.

It took me a long time to finally answer the call to magic. Like I said, I was raised in a religious household. My grandparents even accused me of being a witch when I went through my Harry Potter phase! It actually made me rather pleased. There were a few times I came very close to beginning practicing witchcraft but I shied away for fear of Hell. It wasn’t until I finally was able to distance myself from the church earlier this year that I decided to start practicing magic behind my parents’ back. I’m very glad I did.

Progress

I’ve only been practicing for a few months. I’ve been very busy with college so it’s been pretty lax so far. I’m trying to build some sort of consistency. The end of the semester is a bad time for that, for sure. I’ve really connected with astrology and tarot-reading. Learning about the symbolism of different bugs and animals has also been something I’ve honestly also done, so it’s nice to be able to incorporate that into my practice. Dragonflies have always been signs of good luck for me (or bad omens, as the one time I saw one dead was one my Grammy found in her garage; she showed it to me a month or so before she passed away from cancer).

Recently, I began meditation. I met my spirit animal, a brown-eyed fox, who I ended up learning was sent by the goddess Brighid to guide me. I contacted Brighid about twice and set up an altar for her. The first time I heard her speak to me was when she was telling me I don’t drink enough water (I haven’t met with her since I pulled an all-nighter for college and I’m sure she’s not particularly pleased with that). I’m hoping to get back into my meditative practice soon. I’ve also needed to meditate to ask about a crow or raven that my sister and I kept crossing paths with while going out to lunch together. I’m not sure if it’s a sign of something or if the Morrigan wants to contact me. I’ve also heard the name Cernunnos repeated in my head lately so I’ve wanted to look into him too. I didn’t think I’d have anything to do with deities after my experiences with Christianity but Brighid quickly changed my mind.

Final Notes

I actually started writing this post a week or so ago but life got crazy. I’m in the last few weeks of my Freshman year of college, so it’s hectic. Right now I’m staying at a cabin in the mountains over the weekend, so I’m hoping this will give me the chance I need to wind down and reconnect with Brighid and my higher self. I’m hoping to get a daily routine going for my practice over the next few weeks.

[baby-witch-eli]

Morning Check-in

I have a lot to get done today so it’s time to see what I need to keep in mind as I set about my day.

Familiar Deck

After asking what I needed to be successful today, the deck gave me a Reversed Chariot. In order to face the obstacles in my way, I need to focus on re-evaluating my goals and my intentions. My motivation has been slipping lately, so this could be what I need to get it back.

Horoscope

I’m in a busy time where it’s easy to overwhelm myself and take on more than I can handle. I risk erring towards laziness and de-motivation today. Communication may very well vary from excellent to conflicting. However, I have the strength and confidence I need to get through. Temperance will be key, as will examining my goals and intentions.

Daily Draw

My daily routine as of late has been chaotic and difficult. I haven’t been taking enough time to myself and letting myself enjoy the things I love because I’m in such a rush to get everything done. It’s a vicious cycle but now it’s the time to break it. Setting aside time for myself will give me what I need to evaluate my goals and motivations. Patience will be key as future success will demand I have peace of mind. I have a long road ahead of me but my courage and perseverance will get me through.

Tying it all Together

The universe is practically holding a neon sign in my face that says “your schedule is shit.” I’ve been aware of that but unable to break the cycle. Now is a new cycle, however, with the moon in Aries. I need to allow myself to make time for myself so that I can reflect on my goals and bring back energy. Patience and courage will get me through the day.

[baby-witch-eli]

Meditation Day 3

I did this last night but felt like waiting to make a post about it until the morning. From my two failed attempts earlier in the day, I found that I’m far too jumpy and distractible to do my meditations outside. I prefer to do them in the bath with the lights off. The dark helps me visualize better and being in water, that’s at least ankle deep, gives me the psychic boost I need. Likely because water is an element aligned with that energy and also the one I’m most connected to.

What Happened

I started out at the top of some stairs with ten steps. It was bright and I was in the clouds. I could see a golden light at the bottom of the stairs. With each deep breath, I made my way further down the stairs. Once I made it to the golden light, the clouds around me dissipated. I found myself in front of a grassy hill with two large wooden doors. Curious, I pushed them open. I found it was a portal of some kind to my greenhouse sanctuary. I was so happy to see it again that I started to cry.

I found the sanctuary had been altered slightly. It was daytime now and the sky was a brilliant blue. I could see the other mountains in front of me, they looked blue and foggy. The row of plants in the back had been removed so I could see better. The water had been altered slightly. The pond was more like a spring as it fed into a small waterfall that traveled down the side of the cliff. The streams still surrounded the grassy square and I ended up sitting by the stream near the back right tree.

While sitting by the stream, I saw a figure made of bright light approach me from behind. I was not afraid as I knew who it was. As I stood to greet her, she took the form of the woman I had seen the night before. Brigid greeted me with a kiss to the forehead and I felt the tension headache I had begin to dissipate. We sat down on the grass together. After a few moments she dipped her hands in the stream, cupped some water in her hands, poured it into mine, and I drank it. I could make out her message clearly in my mind for the first time: “You don’t drink enough water.” It’s true so I could only form the response of “I know.” We sat for a few moments more and when I thanked her for sending the fox to sit with me earlier, I once again asked her name. “You know,” was repeated in my head. This puzzled me as I most certainly do not know, as far as I’m aware.

When it was time for me to leave, I stood and thanked her for coming. She stayed sitting in the grass as I said farewell and left. I noticed her shift from a matron, an older motherly figure, to a maiden, one who seemed to be around the same age as my younger sisters. She had a crown of sunflowers around her head now and as I walked out the doors, I felt a shift from her feeling like a mother to a little sister.

I made my way back up the stairs, the clouds returned as I did so. I had my sandals in my hands again. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, I turned my attention back to the real world.

Afterwards

I still felt rather tired after the events of the day but a sense of calm had replaced the tension. I had taken some Motrin beforehand but I had the distinct feeling that Brigid had helped streamline the pain-reliving process.

The tarot I pulled while testing a name I thought could be the fox’s came out as a no. However, it gave me some insight into myself and my past. It told me to use both to make strides forward this month. The cards also brought up Brigid and highlighted a shared life path with her that could allow me to flourish. It also warned me again to be wary of a man who could betray me this month. I still don’t know who it is. They did, however, also mentioned that my best friend can be counted on to help me get through future trials.

After my reading, I took a shower and listened to a random YouTube video as I tied my weighted blanket back into its cover. I felt as if my post about the night’s meditation could wait until the morning, I needed to take some time to reconnect with myself apart from magic and recharge.

[baby-witch-eli]

Sometimes being a witch means feeling a sense of peace as you meditate or construct an altar. Sometimes it means shoveling dogshit because your weird little dog decided shitting on a bunch of small rocks sounds more appealing then doing it on the expansive grass three feet away. I just wanted to mediate.

[baby-witch-eli]

Update. I tried one meditation and it didn’t click. Found out I need the guided meditations to take me somewhere for it to really resonate fro more than 20 or so minutes. My spirit guide was there with me though, it came and sat beside me. It tried to switch meditations to a creator I know I click with.... then it proceeded to rain. I think today’s lesson is that meditating outside doesn’t work as well for me as meditating in the bath does.

[baby-witch-eli]

Sometimes being a witch means feeling a sense of peace as you meditate or construct an altar. Sometimes it means shoveling dogshit because your weird little dog decided shitting on a bunch of small rocks sounds more appealing then doing it on the expansive grass three feet away. I just wanted to mediate.

[baby-witch-eli]

Morning Check-in

I like to regularly check my horoscope and consult with my tarot. Today is special because my ascending sign is aligned with the new moon. A new cycle in my life is beginning and it’s time to set my intentions for the future.

Familiar Deck

I asked my deck what would help me be successful today. It gave me a Reversed Sun. I took this to mean that I need to make sure the new optimism I’m feeling doesn’t cloud my judgement. At the same time, I should allow myself to relax and refrain from obsessing over homework.

Daily Draw

The collection of three I drew was the Chariot, the Hermit, and Justice. Somebody will make a surprising decision out of love this month. It will be life-changing for me, as it will profoundly change a situation I’m in. The choice will affect a couple and will play a key role in my life. I’ll need to harness my strengths and look out for a third, resentful person in order to make this event a positive one. Perhaps this person is the betrayer I keep being warned of?

I didn’t chose the Lovers. This means I act in a responsible and mature manner. It speaks to my experience and intelligence, more emotional it feels like. I think of what’s best for myself and my family, which was shown in my reaction this morning when I awoke to the sound of a security alarm.

Horoscope

My horoscope is much the same as yesterday’s. I face many trials and challenges, both external and internal. Relying on my creativity and new confidence will help me through. However, I must be wary of extremes. I’m quick to throw myself into things too quickly and with too much energy. Change should be slow and tempered, not radical and sudden.

Bringing it Together

The challenges I face aren’t over yet but I have what I need to face them. I must be wary of extremes and of someone who may be betraying me. Creativity and discernment will be key to success, as will keeping things in moderation. Change will come but I shouldn’t rush into it.

[baby-witch-eli]

Meditation Day 2

Today’s meditation was very calm and moving, in a quiet and gentle way.

What Happened

I started out with my toes in the sand. It felt nice and reminded me of the places I love most. I was standing in front of a still river. My sandals were in my hands. Golden dragonflies and blue butterflies flew around me as birds flitted about the trees. Vines draped gracefully in the water. Broad leaves stretched over the riverbank and let beams of sunlight shine through. A mountain could be seen on the other side of the river. I know this mountain, on the other side of it was my greenhouse. I would not be going there today but I knew the red candle was still lit, watching over the sanctuary.

I waded into the water, holding my sandals up and feeling my flannel jacket be soaked. The water was up above my waist quickly. I admired the scenery and the sense of belonging. A golden dragonfly landed on my wrist. When I leaned into the water and let it carry me, a butterfly landed on my nose. I drifted for awhile, knowing the destination and anticipating who might be waiting there. Soon, the water carried me into a stream branching off of it. Clear quartz and rose quartz lined the sides of the stream. The light was more blue and golden here. At one point, it became shallow and I got up and began walking again, sandals still in hand.

The stream widened and fed into a cave. The walls of the cave were lined with the same quartz as the stream, with the additions of glowing blue crystals. The water was at my ankles, guiding me alone. The cave was wide and dark, the water still. At the back of a cave, there was an area lit by a light all of its own. A disc rose up above the water. I stepped onto the smooth, pink surface and set my shoes down. There was a circle of crystal chairs around an unlit hearth. I took a seat in one. The back seemed to be of an amethyst geode. It was surprisingly comfortable, considering it and everything else was made of crystal.

When a fire came out of the hearth, a woman walked from the water into the chair across from me. A familiar golden fox of light sprang up out of the water after her and lept into the chair to her right. It turned into the cherry red fox that had been on my mind all day. I noticed its tail swaying with an even rhythm as it watched me with quiet, almost expectant eyes. I thanked them for coming and turned my attention to the woman. Her orange hair fell down in waves to her waist, a crown of daises around her head. She wore a lose, light green dress. One arm rested on the arm of her chair, the other in her lap. She was barefoot. She seemed relaxed and at peace. I couldn’t quite make out her face but I could see her smile and feel the warmth and love in her expression. I knew at once she was Brigid, the goddess that had been calling to me.

As I addressed her and asked for a sign to confirm her presence, I found my physical body had begun to sway with the same gentle rhythm of the fox’s tail. It didn’t feel the same as it did when I swayed along to music, it felt more like being rocked. As I quietly addressed the goddess, thanking her for answering me and asking if she would have me as a follower, I could feel tears of happiness and relief well up in my eyes. For a few minutes, I sat in silence so that she could speak if she wished. I could almost hear the sound of her voice, it was gentle and low, but I couldn’t make out the words. I watched the fox as it stretched, yawned, and looked from the fire to myself. I asked if I might know it’s name. I could hear an answer but it was hard to make out; I may have only heard the end. What I heard sounded like “sinna.” It shook itself out and leapt over to Brigid’s lap. It settled down next to her, laying down and sleeping in the fabric of her dress and her sleeve, which draped gracefully down the arm of the chair. I watched as she pet the fox, in a similar fashion to the way I pet my cat, and smiled down at it. It was a lovely, calm moment full of peace and affection.

Right after she stood and took the fox into her arms, I heard the bell calling me to leave. I bid her farewell, picked up my sandals, and waded back into the water. I could feel her and the fox watching me as I left the cave, with the same affectionate feeling one might get seeing a mother send her child off to their first day of school. They would see each other again, but this was a new beginning.

Turquoise light flowed out of me and into the water. I was walking against the stream and it flowed behind me. I felt as if it was a mix of my own blue energy and Brigid’s green one.

The trip back to the shore I started on was quicker then my trip to the cave. Things had calmed down while I was gone. Once out of the water and back on the sand, I sat on a large, round, flat rock. It felt warm. I sat cross legged and looked out onto the stream. When it was time to return to my physical body, I opened my eyes to find them lined with tears. As I wiped them away, I knew they were of happiness and joy. My legs have been swaying back and forth with the same gentle rhythm while I write this.

Afterwards

I felt compelled to do a tarot reading once more. I asked if I had been accepted as a follower. The specific cards aren’t important. Their message was a gentle “not yet.” I knew she would be there for me, even in my darkest hour, and waiting for the time the answer would be “yes.” But she knows I am young and at the beginning of my magical journey. She wants me to think on my answer and what it means. Although my tendency is rush in once connected to something, she asks I wait and take things slowly. I’m free to visit during meditations and a sense of calm and safety stays with me as I write. When Brigid feels I am ready, she will ask me to follow. Until that date, she will be waiting for me.

[baby-witch-eli]

Research, Charts, and Tarot Readings

After last night's very successful meditation, I've been very keyed up and excited. Today, between homework, I've been reflecting on the meditation and researching an aspect that struck me as odd. I felt compelled to do multiple different tarot readings, all had very similar themes that even lined up with my Horoscope! I'll break down the signs given to me today and attempt to bring all of them together.

Single Card from Familiar Deck

I drew a card from this deck at around 2:00am, soon after my meditation session. I asked for advice on how to proceed and build a good relationship with my spirit guide. My deck, known for its brutal honesty, showed me Reversed Temperance. My life has been chaotic lately and this card reminded me how urgent it is to find balance and moderation. I believe this card is a reminder, or warning, to stop overloading myself with college work and responsibilities. It will be hard to focus and set intentions if I am distracted and burned-out. It's a call to align my inner and outer worlds as I seek to maintain academic standing while deepening my spirituality. Reversed Temperance is yet another sign that I need to prioritize self-healing and make changes for the better.

Horoscope based on Natal Chart

My horoscope seems to be telling me that even though things are hard right now, I'm reaching a positive turning point. Now is a bad time for taking on more burdens, which makes sense as I've been overwhelming myself with work lately. My horoscope is also pointing out all the emotional turmoil and disillusionment I've been grappling with during the last few months, which only serves to give credence to the prior points. However, my health should be improving and I have more energy. Now is a fantastic time for creativity, originality, and intuition Overall, my horoscope seems to be conveying that even though I've been facing great struggles, I have what I need to push past them and meet my goals with good humor. My ascendant sign will be aligned with the new moon. With an upcoming move and a drive to practice spirituality more, now is the perfect time for it!

Daily Draw with a New Deck

For this four-card drawing, I asked for more guidance on dealing with my spirit guide. The grouping of three was the Moon, the Magician, and the Devil. These cards suggested that I'm waiting for the return of a loved one who I rarely see but who means a lot to me. The return of this person has the potential to trigger personal changes that I need by opening new doors to me. A cycle is ending in my life, in which I've made accomplishments I'm proud of, but I'm uncertain and apprehensive about the next one. A new story is beginning and I will be faced with decisions constantly. I have to keep moving forward to make this an upcoming transition fulfilling.

The missing card, Death, communicates me putting forth my sensitivity. My past and my experiences make me who I am and I must use that to push forward and bring out my potential.

Research

One thing that kept bothering me about my meditation was the repetition of the name Brigid. It struck me as odd and I didn't think a fox could represent the goddess of that name. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that its brown eyes were important. I continued my research wherein I tried to find a connection between Brigid and the guide that appeared to me. In a collection of folklore, I was extremely surprised to find a story in which Brigid uses a brown-eyed fox to save the life of a man. The man had accidentally killed the pet fox of the king and a workman had asked Brigid to come save the man from execution. On the way, she came upon a wild fox that took to her immediately. Brigid brought it before the king and showed that the fox could do all the same tricks as his late beloved pet. Overjoyed, the king agreed to let the man live. After Brigid left, the fox grew to see the palace as a prison. It was restless and unhappy without her presence and found itself to be rather neglected when the king left on a journey. Using the neglect to its advantage, the fox waited and managed to escape out of a door left open. The king was furious to find his fox missing when he returned. However, no matter who he sent out, the fox was never to be found again. It had escaped into the woods for good.

Yes or No

I asked the deck whether the fox that came to me in my meditation was Brigid's fox. The answer was 74% yes.

Celtic Cross

I asked this deck for more clarity on the fox's relationship to Brigid. My first pairing was Fertility and Swallows. These cards had the same message as ones I had pulled for my daily tarot: I'm waiting for the return of a person who will help me make the upcoming cycle a successful and fruitful one.

The second pairing was Fish Wheel and Island. These cards are warning me of yet unseen betrayal that has been ongoing for weeks. The reasons for this betrayal are unclear but it will signal the end of our relationship. This draw teaches me to be slow to trust before I get to know a person, lest I find myself used like I have been in the past. I need to be cautious.

The third paring was Panther and Peacock. This pairing points out how quick I am to close doors because of past failures and heartbreak. Instead of letting the past guide me, I live in it. I need to learn to let the past be the guide towards the future I should be paying more mind to. This month will be filled with new issues and challenges but I have all I need to make it through and reach my goals, as long as I make use of my experience, intuition, and temperament. I may meet a man my age who will play an important part in my future, which holds some good omens.

Draw from 32

This was the last draw of the day. I asked the deck if Brigid is trying to reach out to me. The first group of three was the Moon, Strength, and the Magician. These seemed to be telling me that I'll spend happy times with loved ones in April. The cards seemed to say that there was a woman, with considerable influence over me, appears at my side. She shows kindness towards me and I know some feelings she has for me but part of them escapes me. Our communication isn't always clear. It's possible her feelings are more intense than I believe and I may be more important than I think. A sign of her true feelings has the potential to change my life.

The second grouping of three was the Hanged Man, the Tower, and the High Priestess. As with the previous drawing, this one warns of betrayal. Where this betrayal comes from and from whom is unclear. But these cards seem to say I'm being used for personal gain and I must strategically prove I am the smarter one. Whoever this person is, I have a false perception of them. If I fail to come out on top, I could find myself destroyed again by the greed of another. The consequences would be severe. However, a third person may help give me an edge when I feel as if all hope is lost. This person's role will be decisive and they could acquire a new dimension in my life. I won't know how to thank her as it's likely she will have pulled me out of the abyss.

The third grouping of three was the Star, Wheel of Fortune, and the Emperor. These cards also seem to be pointing out that although I have the will to do well but I let the past block me. I have to learn to move on. Inaction will end with no forgiveness. I don't lack imagination or ambition but I haven't been giving myself the proper means to accomplish my goals. I suffer from inaction and need to get moving. However, once I do act, luck will be on my side this week and I could find happiness if I take my life into my own hands. This is especially powerful for me, as autonomy is something I've always felt robbed of.

The missing card for this draw was the Chariot. By not picking this card, I further emphasized my cautiousness. I am analytical person and prefer to reflect on a situation before acting on it.

Bringing it all Together

The signs I've received today seem to point towards great changes for the better in my future. However, to reach these changes I must take action. I need to learn to stop overwhelming myself with work and instead focus on what matters. Self-evaluation and perseverance will be crucial during this next cycle in my life. However, it would seem the cards are warning me that I should be prepared to face yet another devastating betrayal. They warn against the consequences of continued inaction and clinging to the past. The challenges I'm facing are not yet coming to an end, although the end is in sight. My readings today seem to suggest that the fox appeared to me in order to help me use discernment in my relationships and to guide me on my path towards healing and improvement. If my interpretations are correct, Brigid may be reaching out to offer me aid. Overall, I think that my ascending sign, Aries, aligning with the new moon at this point in my life is a sure sign that now is the perfect time to act.

[baby-witch-eli]

Meditation Day 1

I decided to start up baby witch bootcamp this evening after a few months of setting intentions and familiarizing myself with witchcraft. I will be doing five days building the habit of meditation. Today, I was drawn to a guided meditation meant to help you find your sanctuary and a guide.

What Happened

I started out walking down a hallway of grey stone. The only light came from white candles on wall sconces. There was running water up to my ankles. Bright blue energy began to leave my body and be carried off by the water as my intention and focus grew stronger. When I came to a fork in the tunnel, my physical body leaned to the right. That’s the path I took. Once I reached the end of the tunnel and to the entrance of an unclear room, my body leaned forward. A few moments later, I was told there was a candle in front of me. I picked it up and began to walk around my sanctuary.

I found myself in a large, wrought-iron greenhouse. I had just walked out of a mountain. The greenhouse was built into the side of the mountain on a cliff. It was lit by starlight and a full moon. Plants lined the edges of the greenhouse. No specific ones jumped out to me, only that water from an uncertain source dripped on to them. In front of the plants was a gravel path that was light tan. I could hear it crunching underfoot as I walked. The stream I had waded through ended at a pond in the center of the room. A bridge ran across the stream to connect the paths on either side. The greenhouse had iron lanterns hanging from the ceiling. Lifting up my candle caused them to light.

In the center of the room and around the pond was a square of grass. On each corner of the square were tall trees stretching towards the roof of the greenhouse. There was a small wooden plank dock-ish type thing that lead to a circle platform in the center of the pond. A circular stone sat next to the walkway in front of the water, identical to the one I had picked my candle up off of. I set my candle down on it and walked to the center of the platform. Lily pads and koi were in the water. Blue dragonflies, a symbol of good luck for me, darted among reeds on the edge of the pond.

I sat on the platform and looked at the throne. It was made of wood with Yggdrasil carved into it. Many Celtic knots adorned the throne. I asked for a guide to help me through the trails I’ve been overwhelmed with. After a few moments, a red fox appeared in the throne. It flickered between the physical form and a more ethereal, golden one. It had dark brown eyes. I thanked it for coming and introduced myself. I expressed intentions to get to know it and our relationship better. When it was time to leave, a dark red candle appeared in front of me. I picked it up and walked onto the stepping stones. When in front of the throne and my guide, I bid it farewell. It disappeared by dissolving into hundreds of small golden lights. I set the candle on the throne to guard the sanctuary and act as tribute to my guide.

Once finished, I left the sanctuary. I walked back through the tunnel. The trip was shorter this time. The water changed the direction it flowed in to guide me back. I returned my focus to the physical world, finding myself in a state of uncanny calm. I haven’t felt that way in a long time.

Interpretations

The initial candles were white. My research tonight me that these represent the highest form of consciousness. In the context of meditation, they can encourage healing, protection, and purification. It makes sense these were the candles used to guide me through my meditative journey.

Water guiding me through this process is significant to me. It’s the element I’ve always felt the most connection with. Water has always encouraged deep thought and calm for me. It’s deeply linked with intuition and psychic energy. My moon sign, which I feel the most connection with, is Cancer. To me, this is one of the most significant reasons I feel such a deep connection to the element.

The blue lights to me represent my own spirit guiding me. I associate myself with blues most strongly. To me it means both wisdom and sadness. It’s also a color that strikes me as a deeply intuitive one, although purple is the most intuitive to me. Perhaps I feel this way because of its connection to water.

I think because the plants in the room could only be pictured as a collective, rather than individually, their purpose was simply to symbolize the Earth. They provided a sense of calm and safety. Plants, to me, always give me a sense of hopefulness and peace. Leafy plants signify life in the gentlest of ways.

Mountains have special meaning to me. They represent both earth and air. The higher up you get, the closer to the sky. I’ve grown up spending a good amount of time in the mountains. It’s a safe place for me, one that offers stability and distance from stressors.

The full moon is something I have always felt a deep affection for. It’s a comforting light to find oneself under. Since full moons represent the peak of clarity, I believe it’s a good sign this is the moon I saw illuminating my sanctuary. It’s also one that encourages reflection.

The lamps glowed with a golden light once lit. I feel as if the wax in them was gold as well. Gold candles encourage enlightenment and victories over struggles, two things I’m seeking.

Water lilies and the light pink blooms I saw on them represent wellness, peace, hope, and rebirth.

Koi fish represent strength and perseverance. Eastern mythology tells stories of koi climbing up waterfalls and turning into dragons upon reaching the top. Ambition and perseverance have certainly been two things on my mind lately.

The Celtic meanings behind reeds are ones of protection and purification. They work as insulators. I feel as if the reeds in my sanctuary’s pound are there to act as filters. They turn any bad energies attempting to interrupt me into positive ones.

Dragonflies have always been symbols of good luck for me. If I see a dragonfly, I know positive outcomes are headed my way. The only time I’ve seen a dragonfly by my current house is when one landed right outside my window on my first day of college. It helped reassure me that things would work out.

The wooden throne seemed to grow out of the ground and twist itself into shape. Clearly, it is deeply connected to the earth. The symbol of Yggdrasil as a center theme strengthens this connection even further. It represents the center of worlds, creation, and the cyclical nature of life. Yggdrasil symbolizes life, destiny, and wisdom. Trinity Knots were carved into the end of the arms of the chair. I like to think those symbolize how this sanctuary brings the elements together. Sailor’s Celtic knots made up the rest of the patterns, which symbolize a bond that cannot be broken. I hope this is meant as a sign that my relationship with my spirit guide will be strong and true.

Although the name Brigid occurred to me, I found she didn’t align with the energy of the fox. The fox as a Celtic spirit guide connected with me immediately when reading about it. I’ve been told many times that I am very intelligent and I’ve always considered myself more cunning and stealthy than I should be. I travel through the woods with ease and find myself completely at home there. These are all traits connected with the fox. Furthermore, I learned the fox as a spirit guide is meant to guide you through difficult times in life. It helps to provide clarity, make decisions, act rather than dwell, give insight into relationships, and balance work and play. These are all things I am in desperate need of help with. I look forward to getting to know my spirit guide more and learning from it.

The red candle is the perfect one to stand in tribute to a red fox. The color red symbolizes passion, strength, and courage. They encourage energies of love, respect, and survival.

Closing Thoughts

Overall, I think my first meditation went extremely well. I’m very pleased with the results. My sanctuary is a lovely place filled with energies of peace, strength, and good fortune. I was somehow both pleasantly shocked yet not at all surprised to find my spirit guide is a red fox. Mostly, I was very happy and encouraged by how quick their arrival was. I hope to get to know them better and learn from them in the future.