Time always exposes what you mean to someone.
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@babybunch0129
Time always exposes what you mean to someone.
Unknown
Exchange "damn, I didn't do that thing I wanted to do for two whole weeks, I'm such a failure I might as well give up" with "now that I'm finally feeling better, I'll return to working on that habit again" and you'll get a whole lot further in life!
Being happy is less about successfully conforming to society's expectations and more about accepting that being as normal as possible doesn't have to be the goal and that in the long run, standing out is often more fulfilling than the alternative
One of the best lessons you can master in life is to master how to remain calm.
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It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!
Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.
Eric Thomas
step one to overcoming social anxiety is to realize that most people kind of suck and their opinion of you is literally worthless
losing respect for someone is always such a weird thing because you don't hate the person, you just don't feel the need to ever speak to them again or even think about them in the same way, you're just done
It's crazy how trauma makes you push people away when all you want is love.
Relatable.
Sometimes it’s not ego, it’s self respect.
'TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS' DOES NOT MEAN TIME IS A HEALER. IT MEANS THAT OVER AN INDEFINITE PERIOD EMOTIONS LIKE GRIEF HURT ANGER DISAPPOINTMENT AND SADNESS WILL DECREASE IN INTENSITY UNTIL THEY BECOME (MORE) BEARABLE TO CARRY WHEN YOU WORK ON THEM IN A HEALTHY WAY.
Little steps towards becoming a more kind person - and feeling better about yourself!
Smile when you accidentally make eye contact with strangers.
If you think something positive about someone, tell them. Even if they’re a stranger. Even if you feel a bit silly. Tell that girl you love her dress. Tell that dude his tattoo is awesome. Tell your friend how funny she is. I promise you that they will appreciate hearing what you admire about them and there’s a good chance that you using those 5 seconds to give them a genuine compliment will make their entire day.
When you’re around new people, make an effort to go say hi. Go introduce yourself and ask them who they are and how they’re doing. Start a conversation if you feel like it. Who knows, maybe that girl your acquaintance brought to that party has the potential to become your new best friend - and you won’t know before you start talking to her.
If you see someone falling behind while walking in a group, stop and wait for them to catch up even if the others don’t.
If you see someone get interrupted in a conversation you’re a part of, wait for the new person to stop speaking and then look at the person who got interrupted and ask them what they were about to say. Let them know that you care to hear it.
If YOU accidentally interrupt someone, stop yourself and say “hey, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I thought you were done speaking - what were you about to say?”
If you see someone sitting/standing alone, go ask if you can join them - or invite them to come join you and the people you’re hanging out with.
If you’re in a group conversation and someone is trying to say something and no one is really noticing, look at them and let them know that even if everyone else are stuck in their own stuff right now, you’re there and you care to listen to what they’re trying to share.
Remember to tell the people you care about that you care about them. Send a text to that friend you haven’t seen in a while to let them know that you miss them. Tell your partner that you love them. Tell that new person you’re getting to know how cool you think they are. Call your mom to hear how she’s doing. Don’t be afraid to let the important people in your life know that they’re loved and cared about.
When someone is really passionate and knowledgeable about something, take advantage of it! Ask them some questions and make proper use of this opportunity to learn something new. Make sure to show the people in your life that you don’t think their passions are cringy or boring or dumb.
If something reminded you of someone, let them know. Send your friends songs or silly memes which somehow reminded you of them, and tag them in posts you think they’d enjoy. I promise that they’ll be excited to know that you think of them even when they aren’t around.
Remember to check up on people. Ask that friend you haven’t heard from in a while how they’re doing and what they’re up to. Ask the person who’s seeming unusually distant and sad whether they’re okay. Ask the stranger crying on the street whether there’s something you can do. You can’t force them to accept your help, but you can show them that you’re there and that you care and that alone will mean a lot to them.
Stop talking shit about people behind their backs (unless they’re really horrible people/abuses/predators, in which case warning people about them is necessary and valid!) If you have a serious issue with someone, either tell them directly so that you can work on resolving it or stop hanging out with them.
If you enjoy something someone created, make sure to let them know. Especially if they’re a small artist/creator. Leave kudos and a nice comment on that fanfiction you loved. Reblog/share that piece of art or that poem you really liked. And whenever you see something on your social media feed which you really enjoy, make sure to check out the OP and maybe give them a follow.
Every once in a while, take a couple minutes to tell some of the people you enjoy following on social media that you really enjoy their content or their personality or their art and why that is. It could easily make their day. (It’s okay to go on anon if you’re feeling shy!)
Remember to give compliments to people which aren’t about appearance. Tell your friends how much you love their humor or their passion or their honesty or their confidence. I know they’re probably hot too but make sure to remind them that they are much more than a pretty face.
If you notice that someone is struggling, offer your help and support if you can. Take the time to have that deep conversation with them about how they’re feeling and what’s going on in their life - and if they’re struggling with self care, maybe bring them a home cooked meal or offer to help them conquer the mountains of dishes in their kitchen/do their laundry/buy some groceries/clean their apartment a bit.
If you’re sitting with a group of people and you notice that someone is falling out of the conversation, ask them a question to make them feel like someone cares to hear their input.
Make a habit of asking people whether they’re fully comfortable with something before you do it. Some people don’t like hugs or other casual touching and some people don’t always have the energy to help you sort out your dating situation and some people are triggered by talk of certain topics. So make a habit of asking “is it okay if I hug you/vent to you/talk to you about x topic” before you start doing the thing in question.
If people aren’t hurting themselves or someone else, let them be. Even if you think they’re being weird. Even if you don’t get it. Unless they’re doing something which is actively causing harm to someone, don’t comment on, judge or criticize people for doing something unusual. Just let them be. They probably have their reasons.
Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar
Growing up with emotionally immature parents brings you to self sacrifice. You start hiding your true feelings, dreams and even parts of who you really are in order to not disappoint them and how they see the world and what's better for you, but also to save yourself from possible negative/harsh feedback and abuse in general.
You grow emotionally distant from yourself, and you keep this distance out of habit also in your adulthood, where you carry shame and self hatred for these parts of you, unable to see their beauty and uniqueness.
Try to come back to those parts of you, to stop banishing them: they aren't wrong or scary. They are also a side of you that need love and appreciation, no matter what you were made to believe or if you had to keep a distance from them to save yourself. You can come back, you can change. And you can ask for help too.
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Somedays, it just hurts. It hurts so much it makes you angry and desperate. And you need to acknowledge that it does hurt so you don't get even more frustrated, even when it feels unreasonable to be in so much pain, please validate it so you can cope with it. Know that you are doing the best you can, and somedays all you can do is survive. Please don't keep company with those who invalidate your pain if it's possible so you won't feel encouraged to do the same to yourself. The pain you're in is valid, and sometimes all you can do is to recognize it hurts. I hope you find ways to soothe this pain and to cope with it, that you find a good treatment that helps you with your symptoms, that people around you validate you and that you remember to do the same too.