this is my anonymous blog where iâm just gonna talk about random things on my mind like shows iâm watching, books iâm reading, or my day ig :D
iâm not expecting anyone to follow me or even see any of my posts, this is just a place for me to talk about whatever i want. but just in case, hereâs a little get to know me :p
about me
iâm a 18 year old girl from the uk, currently in university :0
i love music, reading, playing guitar, animals, pink and purple, nature and gaming
what im watching atm:
buffy the vampire slayer (s6)
skins (s4)
rewatching riverdale (embarrassing ik)
swat (s5)
what im reading
dune messiah
brideshead revisited
what i fan-girl for:
btvs
harry potter
ariana grande
chappell roan
musicals in general lol
charlieâs angels
hunger games
phoebe bridgers
charli xcx
kirsten dunst
cillian murphy
ethel cain
one direction
pink pantheress
sza
dc & marvel
âŚ.lots more !!!
thank you for reading <333
xoxo
(middle photo is kirsten dunst in the virgin suicides bts, im not sure who to credit but other two photos are mine)
the streets are saying jeremiah and denise are endgame⌠she deserves so much better than that little boyđ i love denise sheâs too much of a baddie to end up with that flop
if im being honest, i feel like belly and jeremiah's break up was pretty concrete...like yes i do think they were on a break. BUT idc what anyone says they should not have gotten back together cause of that fucking bracelet!!!! he bought her that cheap shitty bracelet in cabo which either means he WAS thinking about her and wanted to get her something to make it up to her when he got back (so him sleeping with lacie is fucked up because he was just like "might as well fuck someone else while we're technically on a break and then just get back with belly when im home") OR he just bought the bracelet for himself and just saw the opportunity to make belly think he was wallowing the whole time in cabo (which he wasn't cause he was fucking someone else) so the "we were on a break" excuse is soooo not valid like stand up belly
theres a phenomenon that happens on here i have been calling "normalize loving parents posting" which is when you spend a lot of time on tumblr and are exposed to a lot of one specific counter-cultural narrative day in and day out until you start to forget what the dominant ideas are for most of the human population and thus feel the need to "defend" things that are widely accepted and popular. it's called this because of the time a bunch of text posts about shitty dads were circulating and then people with good relationships with their dad didn't feel included enough and started making "uhmmm can we normalize loving parents? not everyone has a deadbeat dad, MY dad is great" type posts, seemingly forgetting that good relationship with dad is a cultural norm that is expected and encouraged. i think its good practice, especially when im annoyed, to stop before i hit the post button and ask myself if this is a real issue or if im normalize loving parents posting. because often im about to try to normalize loving parents
i want to read sotr so bad but i hate hardbacks and donât want to read it as an ebookđ im being picky i know but iâm patiently awaiting the paperbacks :(
riverdale is so crazy why did they have 16 year olds solving crimes, living with evil nuns, almost drowning their classmates in a fuck ass wig and having all of them speak like those âcool comebackâ instagram pagesđ meanwhile the main character archie dgaf anoit any of this and just wants to sleep with his teacher and play guitarđ they do cringe so well though why am i entertained
Hockey!James Potter x Lupin!Reader â 566 words | this is SO short but i wanted to get something out there, thank you for being patient with me!
series masterlist ; main masterlist
âYou were amazing out there!â As much as he triesâand itâs not muchâJames canât remember her name. She stopped him a few minutes ago to congratulate him on the win, but he couldnât muster the energy to care. Not when he knows youâre somewhere nearby.
âThanks, I appreciate it,â James mutters absentmindedly, offering a quick smile to the brunette before his gaze shifts back over the crowd, scanning frantically. The sea of red and gold makes it difficult to spot you, but heâs searching for the familiar jersey, the one Remus lent you with âLupinâ proudly stitched across the back.
For a moment, he wonders if he should push thoughts of you aside and focus on the girl in front of him. But just as quickly, the thought fadesâbecause he knows that winning a game is one of the few times you truly give him more than a scrap of attention. Itâs not that you do it intentionally; itâs just that your excitement for the boysâ win spills over, and without thinking, you throw your arms around their shoulders, hugging them tightly. The first time it happened, James nearly lost his mind. Sure, the fact that Sirius got a hug too dampened the moment, but he quickly realized heâd take whatever you gave him, no matter how small.
âI donât know much about hockey, but I just had to tell you that you were amazing.â She says, and James feels a flicker of guilt. Before he fell head over heels for you, sheâd have been exactly the type heâd go for. But now, all he wants is his best friendâs sisterâthe one who hardly gives him the time of day and yet he canât move on no matter how hard he tries.
James nods distractedly, and the girl glances over her shoulder where James's eyes are trainedâshe knows sheâs losing him. âActually, I came over because I was curious if youâd want to go out sometime... maybe teach me a bit about hockey?â Her voice carries a hopeful lilt, and she watches him nervously. Jamesâs face lights up for a moment, and she thinks sheâs struck gold, but then heâs placing a hand on her shoulder, offering a quick, almost rushed, âMaybe next time,â before he pushes through the crowd, leaving her standing there with a sinking feeling.
She turns to watch, a pang of something uncomfortable stirring in her chest as she sees him push through the crowd. Heâs greeted with quick shouts of praise from a few enthusiastic fans, but he doesnât stop until heâs pulling you close, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and lifting you effortlessly off the ground. From where she stands, she can hear the startled squeal of his name, and as you wrap your arms around his neck and he gazes up at you, enraptured, she realizes who heâs been so distracted by: you. Remus Lupinâs sister, the one whoâs always adamantly denied any feelings for him. And yet, here you are, arms wrapped around his neck, laughing as he twirls you around, oblivious to various envious eyes on you both.
Her gaze shifts to Sirius, who immediately scoops you up as soon as James sets you down, and then to Remus, whoâs playfully protesting about being the last to hug his sister. Oh, to be Remus Lupinâs sister, she thinks, with a mix of longing and envy.
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thank you to @moonpascal for reading this and giving me ideas! hockey!james is dedicated to you, babes <3
series masterlist ; main masterlist
âPut a shirt onâmy sisterâs coming over.â Remus calls out, smacking the back of the couch behind Siriusâ head. Sirius barely flinches, too absorbed in the video game to care. James glances up from where heâs sitting, his gaze casually following Remus as he walks into the living room. But then, as the words register, his head snaps back for a double take.
âYour sisterâs coming over?â James sits up straighter, his interest piqued. âWhen?â
Remus glances at his phone as he settles into the chair next to the couch, âPretty soon.â
âHeâs one shot away from dead, James,â Sirius mutters through gritted teeth, his fingers flying over the buttons, laser-focused on the screen. âGet on that. Now.â Â
Silence. Â
Sirius darts a quick, panicked glance to his right, expecting to see James ready for action, only to find him staring intently at Remus instead, his controller slack in his hands. Â
âPretty soon? What does that mean? Ten minutes? Thirty?â James asks, his thoughts drifting to the state heâs inâhis hair a disheveled mess from repeatedly running his hands through as he played games for half the day. Not to mention, heâs still lounging in his pajama pants, a consequence of having no classes and a rare night off from hockey practice.Â
If heâd known you were coming over today, he wouldâve made an effortâfixed his hair, changed out of his lazy clothes, maybe even tidied up the place a bit.
âJames!â Sirius barks, his frustration mounting. âI said get on him, not play twenty questions!â Â
Remus shrugs as he strides further into the room, completely unfazed by the chaos. âAgainâI donât know, mate. She just said, âpretty soon.ââ
James frowns, his brow furrowing. âDo I have time to shower?â Â
The high-pitched sound of a game-over screen fills the room, and Sirius throws his controller down with a groan. âOh, bloody hell! We couldâve won that!âÂ
James glances over at the screen with a slight wince, âShit, sorry.â
âRemus, youâre up,â Sirius announces, grabbing the controller James has abandoned and tossing it to Remus, who barely catches it. A disappointed look is shot in Jamesâ direction as Sirius sets up the new game. âYouâve lost your privileges.â
Remus takes the controller, his eyes flicking to James as he stands and begins collecting the forgotten cans and empty food containers scattered around. Sirius glances over with an amused smirk, his gaze lingering on Jamesâ frantic tidying.
âShould I be concerned that youâre cleaning up for my sister?â Remus asks, raising an eyebrow. James turns to face him, a guilty and uncertain expression crossing his face.
âUh, I doââ James stammers, clearly unsure how to respond without annoying Remus.Â
âIf youâre gonna change, you might as well throw on a backwards hat,â Remus says, interrupting casually, his eyes glued to the screen as his fingers hover over the buttons. âShe finds it hot on guys.â He catches James out of the corner of his eyeâsees him straighten, the words sinking in as he nods slowly. Without a word, James turns and heads for the kitchen, muttering to himself, like heâs trying to remember where heâs got a baseball hat lying around.
âWait, does she really?â Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow. Remus mutters a distracted âyeah.â
âNoted,â He nods, a sly grin creeping across his face. âIâll be sure to wear one around her next time.â
Remus turns and shoots him a warning look, making Sirius pause. âSeriously? Youâre handing him tips, but I canât even joke about using them?â
âNo, because heâs actually interested in being with her. Youâre just interested in flirting with her.â Remus says, shooting Sirius a look of warning and protectivenessâ the kind only a brother could deliver.
Sirius rolls his eyes, a playful smirk tugging at his lips, fully aware that Remus is right. James had fallen for you the moment Remus introduced you four years agoâhis feelings for you were real, and somehow, everyone but you could see it.
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summary: mattheo is hogwarts' triwizard tournament champion, and he's proven that he can crush the competition. but when the stakes are raised, and you're involved, nothing will get in his way.
word count: 2.3k
a/n: this was was so fun to think about! lots of references to goblet of fire! lots of swearing, matty is not a happy camper in this one. enjoy âĄ
Obviously this boy would put his name in the Goblet of Fire (all of the boys did) and there would be a lot of feelings about him being chosen as the Hogwarts champion, lots of accusations about him rigging the selection (he probably did). But he'd definitely crush the competition, especially when he had the right motivation...
˰â˘*ââˇ
It's the morning of the second task, the day crisp and frosty, creating puffs of air as Mattheo huffed in exertion, marching down to the Black Lake surrounded by his friends. Suffice to say, he was pissed. It was fucking frigid outside and he hadn't seen you all morning, the combination enough to set him dangerously on edge.
You'd told him you'd come spend the night with him, and if nothing else you always ate breakfast together, so when you didn't show up last night and you were nowhere to be found this morning he was furious that you'd blown him off. Now he was spending his entire walk from the castle to the lake ruminating over it, piling on every perceived slight over the last few days, including the way he saw you talking to a group of guys from Durmstrang in the Great Hall yesterday, causing him to involuntarily curl his hands into fists at his side.
His friends walked beside him, surrounding him in a sort of semicircle, but moving in complete silence; they knew better than to try to say anything to him when he was in a mood like this. Before long, Pansy came running to meet them, nearly out of breath as she said, exasperated, "I couldn't fucking find her. She's not anywhere in our dormitory, in the library, I don't know where she's gone." Concern and frustration laced her voice as she looked at the group and then up at Mattheo.
This wasn't like you.
You had been Mattheo's #1 supporter throughout the whole tournament, helping him prepare, cheering him on, jumping into his arms the moment he'd defeated his dragon, and generally always glued to his side. In fact, you were always glued to all of their sides, the group of you being nearly inseparable, so having you missing made all of the boys feel shifty and on edge as they looked at one another.
Fear bloomed in Mattheo's chest. And the feeling of fear when it came to you did not sit well with him. He didn't want to feel afraid, to feel vulnerable when it came to you, so he opted to shove the feeling down, keeping instead with anger which was much easier and more natural to him.
"I don't have time for this" he muttered, quickening his pace as they all scrambled to keep up with him.
The biting wind whipped through his dark curls and stung his cheeks as he stood on the platform above the lake, staring into the middle-distance of the dark and choppy waves. Students and staff alike were cheering and shouting their encouragement for their champions, but he was completely zoned out, his mind bouncing back and forth between your lingering absence and the task ahead of him. He only perked up when Dumbledore's loud voice rang out over the crowd.
"Welcome to the second task!" it radiated.
"Last night something was stolen from each of our champions, a treasure of sortsâ"
Mattheo's heart plummeted so fast into his stomach that he subconsciously grasped at his chest. A treasure? There wasn't a thing he owned that he valued enough to call a treasure, not a single thing in his life that held that much weight... except you. You were undeniably his treasure. He looked back into the murky water of the Black Lake... it couldn't be... he thought ... surely they wouldn't... as Dumbledore's voice continued.
"âThese four treasures, one for each champion, now lie on the bottom of the Black Lakeâ" Mattheo's stomach lurched with what little breakfast he'd been able to eat as his eyes shot to Pansy's in the crowd in enough time to see her clasp her hand to her mouth as she pieced the situation together.
"âIn order to win, each champion need only find their treasure and return to the surface. Simple enough. Except for this. They will have but one hour to do so and one hour only. After that, they'll be on their own. No magic will save them."
Mattheo's feet were moving before Dumbledore said another word, sprinting towards the water because fuck this stupid tournament, and fuck the geezer for thinking he could take you away from him, that he could put you in danger.
"You may begin at the sound of the cannon."
BOOM!
Mattheo heard the blast as his body hit the water, diving headfirst into the waves without bothering to cast a spell, without a care to what he'd find within the foreboding depths.
The cold shocked his system, but his heart was hammering for plenty of other reasons as he pulled his body through the fierce current, his strong arms and legs working against the waves.
For a minute he was surrounded in dark nothingness. He could feel rather than see that he wasn't alone in the water, occasionally sensing something moving on either side of him, but he didn't have time, you didn't have time for him to care. His lungs started to burn and he pressed his wand to his neck, casting a spell frantically so as not to waste another second.
After swimming at an impossible pace for so long he wondered if there even was a bottom to the lake, he heard an ethereal sound, like singing and changed course to swim towards it, which brought him to a large clearing where he could see merpeople swimming around. The few nearest him whipped their heads toward him, surprised at his presence as they turned to face him fully. He dared them, dared any fucking one of them to come near him, welcomed it actually, a chance to take out his rage, but they steered clear, perhaps sensing it would be a losing battle despite the tritons they carried and their razor-sharp teeth.
He swam on, his muscles straining, aching with the exertion of pulling his weight through the thick water at such an unwavering and desperate pace, but the feeling faded, drained from him, as four distinct figures came into view, four bodies, tethered and floating in the water, their hair moving eerily around their faces, their bodies stiff and still, like corpses.
He identified you immediately and he swam harder and harder until he was close enough to touch you. He brushed a hand against your cheek; your skin held a blueish tint and your face was expressionless, void of the smile that you always had for him, that reached your eyes, that lit up your face, the absence of it was enough to make his eyes sting in a way that had nothing to do with the brackish water.
He grasped your stiff form, the resistance of your body against his continuing to mess with his mind as he sent a spell to sever the rope that secured you and tried not to think about how rigid you felt in his arms.
His ability to breath underwater didn't matter for shit, because he was certain he didn't breath the entire way back, climbing harder and harder as he carried your weight with him, desperate to reach the surface, desperate to save you, thinking the entire time how fucking foolish he'd been to spend even one second mad at you today.
Finally, he could see the light of the surface, the grey clouds in the sky reflecting in the waves, and after a final series of strong kicks he broke through the current.
Immediately, he felt you come alive again in his arms, spluttering and coughing as you grasped for him.
"M-Matty!?" you said hysterically, the cold and fear in your voice setting his heart in a vice as your eyes fluttered open and you looked around in confusion at your surroundings. "What happened?! Whereâ?!"
"âIt's okay, you're okay, you're safe" he said, pulling you against him, keeping you both afloat even as you rocked in the waves and he gasped deeply for air.
"C'mere, c'mon" he said, swimming with you in his embrace towards the platform, anxious to get you out of the freezing water.
The crowd had erupted into cheers when you'd breached the surface, and they were announcing that Mattheo was the champion by a long shot, not having been in the water for more than 20 minutes, the other champions still completely unaccounted for. But hearing talk of the competition and seeing everyone's ignorance about the whole situation as they clapped and smiled was pushing him to his limit as he hoisted you up to Pansy who greeted you with a thick towel.
Mattheo pulled himself out of the water, barely taking time to wrap a towel around his shoulders before grabbing three more and pulling them around you. You laughed under the heavy bundle, even as your shivering continued uncontrollably. "I-I'm okay, I-I'm okay" you said, trying to reassure him, even as you noticed that he wouldn't meet your eyes.
"Buncha fucking idiots" you heard him muttering as he rubbed your arms before he stooped down and swept you off your feet bridal style, one hand around your waist, the other holding on to your legs. The crowd cheered again, erupting in a sigh of "awws" at the gesture until he began barreling towards them.
"Matty?" you asked, concerned, "Where are weâ?"
"âAnywhere but here" he growled as people began pushing each other to get out of his way.
"Mr. Riddle!" McGonagall chided, chasing after you both as you watched her from over his shoulder, urging him to stop as a couple of other professors followed in pursuit.
He veered towards the raised platform where the headmasters were seated, coming to a brief stop in from of Dumbledore who had stood to his feet.
"You are out of your fucking mind!" Mattheo spat at him.
Several people around you gasped, even Igor Karkaroff had the wherewithal to look surprised, impressed even, before Mattheo walked away, marching right off the platform and back towards the school as the entire crowd watched you go.
You could tell Mattheo was tired, beyond tired, physically, emotionally; you could feel his arms shaking against your weight.
"Matty, I can walk, it's okay" you said quietly, but he wouldn't let you go, wouldn't set you down, wouldn't even respond to you or meet your eyes. So you resigned yourself to resting your head on his shoulder, nuzzling against his neck which seemed to relax him a bit.
He carried you all the way to his room, making his way to the bathroom where he finally set you down and immediately began running you a hot bath. Wordlessly, he found a towel and a set of his clothes for you to wear, placing them at the edge of the tub before leaving without a word, closing the door gently behind him.
You looked anxiously at the closed door, aware that something was very very wrong, but also acknowledging that he might need a minute, and that you still couldn't feel the tips of your fingers or toes, so you resigned yourself to the hot water.
It felt heavenly, as did washing the muck of the lake off your skin and out of your hair. You reveled in the smell of his soap, like cedar and evergreen, but you were too anxious to sit there any longer than necessary, quickly pulling on his sweatpants and sweatshirt that engulfed your frame as you toweled your hair dry and pushed the door open.
Mattheo was seated at the edge of his bed, still dripping wet, his body shaking noticeably as he stared at the ground. He glanced up when he heard you, visibly relaxing a bit as he took in your warm, rosy cheeks and your soft smile, his mind flashing for only a moment to your unsmiling rigid form floating in the water, trying to reconcile that version of you with the one in front of him.
You approached him slowly, moving to stand between his legs as you took his face in your warm hands, tilting it to look at you. He had a strained, puzzled expression on his face as his eyes drank you in before his hands came to rest on your waist.
"Babeâ" you started.
"âI love you" he said.
Your heart somersaulted over the words you'd never heard him say before as you let out a small breath, your hand moving to cover your mouth in shock as your eyes widened.
"I'm-I'm a fucking wreck for you" he continued, laughing humorlessly as he shook his head. "Today... really fucked me up. I thought I'd lost you, I thought..." he paused, getting quiet "...The way you looked down there, alone, miles under the water, surrounded by all sorts of shit" he shook his head harder like he could unlive the memory of it all.
"I should have told you sooner, because I've known for awhile, for a long fucking time, but I've been too scared to say it, too scared that you don't remotely feel the same way, but that doesn't matter anymore, nothing fucking matters other than you hearing me say it, today, every day, I love you, YN." His eyes met yours finally, wide and sincere. "With everything I've got, I love you."
"I love you too!â" you whispered, and the words were barely out of your mouth before he pressed his cold lips to yours, pulling you into him so tightly you let out an involuntary squeak as your arms moved to wrap around his neck and he fell backwards onto his bed, continuing to mumble against your lips "Iloveyou, loveyou, I loveyou", smushing your kisses with his affectionate words until you were laughing with joy, the sound finally reassuring him that you were his, and that you were okay.
warnings/tags: fluff, allusions to smut, Simon gets in his feelingsâ˘ď¸
It was the first time that you dropped a plate stacked high with heart-shaped pancakes in front of him, that you realized just how much Simon had been starved for love in his life.
âWhatâs this?â He asks, eyebrows scrunching in confusion, staring down at his plate as though it were a bomb in need of defusing.
âBreakfast? Youâd mentioned pancakes the other day and Iâve been craving âem since.â You shrug, walking back towards the stovetop where the next batch are waiting to be flipped over.
âTheyâre- youâve never-â You glance back over your shoulder at him, watching as he appears to struggle to find the words for what he means to say. He looks almost out of place, his large, hulking frame sitting at a breakfast table with flowers adorning it (heâs the one that brought you that bouquet, of course), his bed head on full display. âYouâve never made âem like this before.â
âWhat, like hearts?â You giggle, scooping up the last of the breakfast onto a plate, making your way back to the table, seeing Simon give you a nod in confirmation. âI just wanted spread some love to my love. Is that alright?â
Setting your plate down next to his, you go to take a seat before you feel two muscular arms wrapping around your middle, pulling you backwards and seating you onto his strong lap.
ââCourse sâalright.â He mumbles into your hair, pressing a kiss wherever his lips may land on you. From those two words alone, you can tell his throat is getting scratchy, and you almost think you hear the slightest sniffle coming from him. You canât help the surprised blush that creeps through you. You werenât expecting him to react this way. Youâre willing to bet he also wasnât expecting to react this way.
Knowing that communicating, as well as understanding, his feelings isnât something that always comes with ease for Simon, you decide to give him a moment, not wanting to put him on the spot. You spread some maple syrup across your stack, tilting it in the direction of his plate and receiving a grunt of confirmation before you drizzle some onto his as well. Taking your cutlery in hand, enjoy your breakfast in quiet bliss, taking turns feeding bites to yourself and your shadow behind you, always receiving a loving squeeze to your thigh after each piece you slip between his lips.
âMum never made anythinâ like this.â His revelation arrives just as your chewing on your last bite, stomachs content, hearts even more full. You can count on one hand the amount of times Simon has brought up his family to you. Youâre aware of the circumstances, and while you donât know every detail (nor do you need to), he has over time opened up to you about what happened. âNot âcause she didnât love us. I think she wouldâve if she-â he clears his throat, and you readjust yourself in his lap so that you can wrap your arms around his neck, leaning your head against his shoulders, rubbing reassuring circles into the muscles your hands come across.
You donât want to overwhelm him by looking at him as he opens himself up to you, but you want to reassure him that youâre listening, youâre here with him. He can tell you as much or as little as he wants to, and youâll listen.
âBeth did though. Once or twice.â He adds, resting his chin atop your head, running a hand through your hair. âI mean, Iâm sure she did it more than that but, I saw her do it, once or twice. For Joseph.â Your grip around him tightens ever so gently at the mention of his late sister-in-law and nephew. Youâve never seen a picture of the boy, but you can just picture him, a small little blond head of hair, maybe with eyes like his, running around, keeping his young parents busy. Knowing the fate his family endured, a shiver runs through you, but you donât let it overcloud the moment that Simon is sharing with you. Certainly not when it appears heâs thinking of them fondly right now, reflecting on his past with a happy lens.
âIâm sure he mustâve loved it.â You whisper into the skin of his neck, sending goose bumps sprawling across the flesh.
âHe did. Tommy too.â At that he gives a slight chuckle, shaking the two of you. âEven when we were younger, he could always eat us out of house and home. Was like you couldnât get anything to stick to his bones, either, that kid. More than half the time I wound up shop liftinâ it was to feed his skinny arse.â You sit there together for a moment, holding one another, basking in the newest glimpse of his past that Simon has just offered you.
âThey wouldâve loved you.â He mumbles into your hair, emotion evident in his voice, his grip on you tightening desperately, as though you two might slip through his fingers if he doesnât hold you close enough. âThink you wouldâa liked em as well.â At that you pull away from his shoulder, slipping your hands to cradle each side of his face, bringing his forehead to meet yours.
âThey loved you, Si. Of course I would love them too.â You whisper against his lips, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to each corner of his mouth, the top of his nose, each closed eyelid, before returning to his mouth.
Itâs the next week when you decide to finally tackle the last of the moving boxes. You and Simon finally moved in together a few months ago now, and Simon seems to have placed more priority on âchristening every roomâ (also known as fucking you senseless over each and every available surface in the place) over unpacking.
The handful of boxes that are left are more of the miscellaneous, donât really have anywhere to put them, sort of items that you canât exactly part with but donât have any real use for. Most of it being your stuff. His time in the military has left him without a need for many material items, and so youâre surprised to find a smaller box shoved to the back of the pile labeled as âSimonâ.
Upon opening it, you find it contains a variety of what appears to be memorabilia heâs collected throughout his time in the military, small souvenirs from his travels, old folded up uniforms, and what not. But slipped between two folded shirts, you can feel something more sturdy. Carefully slipping it out of the box, you discover a frame containing a multitude of medals.
In spite of being in love with a Lieutenant, your knowledge of the military is still slim. You donât recognize any of the medals shining up at you, but they are numerous, and you can tell they must be incredibly important, something heâs worked so hard to earn. Why is he keeping this tucked away?
âHey Si!â You shout in hopes that heâs near enough to hear you.
âWhat are you up to now, mischief?â He asks, his tone playful as you hear his footsteps approaching. âChrist, weâve still boxes left?â
âActing as if you donât purposefully walk around them every day.â You tease back, rolling your eyes at him. You stand up, turning to face him with the frame clutched to your chest. He takes you in and raises a brow in question as to your discovery. âWhat are these?â
He steps closer to glance at what youâre holding, shoulders tensing for a moment before releasing, letting out a deep sigh.
âAh. Sânothinâ.â He tries to reach to take it out of your grip, but you swing your arms behind your back, hiding it from his grasp.
âWhat do you mean nothing? Doesnât look like nothing to me, mister award winner.â
âTheyâre not- I donât-â he seems to struggle with his words, and itâs only then that you realize perhaps he doesnât view these medals in the same way you do.
âDo you not like âem?â You ask, bringing the frame back around to your front, glancing down at them with a more quizzical eye this time.
âI just- Iâm not always proud of how I earned em, love.â He attempts to explain, reaching a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. âSome I reckonâ I donât mind but- all just seems unnecessary to me. I did my job, all there is to it.â
âAre these like, the kind they have big ceremonies for and then someone pins them on you in front of everyone?â
âSomethinâ like that.â he grumbles, crossing his arms over his large chest.
âAnd let me guess, you never attended any of them?â
âDonât need all the fanfare, lovie.â He says, stepping forward and slowly slipping the frame from your grasp, tossing it back into the box youâd found it in. âAll I needâs right here.â
âI just wish youâd let yourself be celebrated sometimes too, SiâŚâ
âWell if itâs celebratinâ my birdie is wantinâ, howâs bout we go celebrate with you on top of the washing machine eh? Donât think Iâve made you cum up there yet.â You roll your eyes at his changing of the subjects, but canât contain the giggle that erupts out of you when he swings you over his shoulder, apparently having decided the laundry room is exactly where you two are going now. âJust put a load in the machine, only right I put a load in here too.â He adds with a smack to your ass.
Youâre worried youâre about to make an absolute fool out of yourself. No, youâre sure youâre about to look like an idiot. You know how much that man loves you, but even this might be exaggerating. Glancing at the clock above the stove however, you know itâs now or never. The candles around the room have been lit, the lights are dimmed, his favourite meal is cooking in the oven, soft music is playing from the record player, youâre wearing Simonâs favourite dress on you, and you even went as far as to spruce up your hair and makeup for this. In theory, everything is perfectly set up and in its place.
So why then, do you feel so mortified as you hear the sound of keys jingling the lock at the front door? Oh right, because itâs him youâve set this all up for.
âHi sweetheart,â he shouts to you as he walks in, too preoccupied with removing his boots and gear to look up yet. âSmells really good, whatâs-â He cuts himself off upon walking into the kitchen, eyes landing on the unusual scene before him. You watch as his irises glance around the room, taking it all in, before landing on you. Heâs still stood a few feet away from you, but you swear you can see his pupils dilate as his eyes roam up and down your figure.
âHi.â You whisper meekly to him, wringing your hands nervously behind your back.
âHi.â He answers back, taking an apprehensive step towards you. âWhatâs all this then?â
âFirst you have to go get dressed.â You inform him, jutting your chin in the direction of your shared bedroom. The small smile working its way onto his face helps boost your confidence, nerves slowly dissipating.
âIs that so?â
âMhmm. Even laid out your clothes for you, so you donât have to think about it.â
âWe goinâ somewhere?â He asks, beginning to undo his belt already. The movement catches your attention, likely his intention, and his smirk widens upon seeing you blush.
âNope. Weâre just celebrating at home.â
At this, he freezes his movements, belt halfway slipped out of his belt loops. His gaze scans your face, looking for anything he might have missed.
âShit. Did I- did I forget something, baby? I did-â
âNo, no no no!â You cut him off with a slight giggle, coming up to him now to lay your palms across his chest. âNo, youâre okay Si. You didnât forget anything, Iâm just surprising you.â You reassure him, knowing that he only calls you baby when heâs worried heâs in trouble (or when heâs already in trouble, crouched between your thighs attempting to earn his way out of the dog house).
âYou didnât have to do any of this love.â He says, hands pulling the rest of his belt out, before he loops it around you, using it to pull you even closer to him.
âYou donât even know what Iâve done yet, mister. Weâll see if you still like me in a bit.â You stand up on your tippy toes, planting a kiss to his Adamâs apple, fingers reaching up to slowly lift the skull printed balaclava off his face. Your lips follow each inch of skin revealed as you finally slip the fabric off his visage, exposing the face of the man you love. âNow go get dressed before I change my mind.â
With a kiss to the forehead and a squeeze to the bum, your man releases you from his grasp to obediently follow your command, making his way towards the bedroom. Steeling yourself with a deep breath, you turn towards the cabinets, pulling out the secret youâd been hiding, the reason youâre doing any of this.
Minutes later, Simon is walking back into the room, dressed in form fitting black dress pants, and his large hands are finishing up the last few buttons of his white button-up shirt, the buttons appearing minuscule in his grasp. Your eyes land on his figure, and suddenly the smell of the food in the oven isnât why your mouth is salivating so much. He glances up at you, eyes meeting and each of you fights off a small blush and a shy smile, as though youâre seeing your dates for the prom for the first time.
âYouâre so handsome, Si.â You tell him, stepping closer to him.
âThink youâre just desensitized to me at this point, love.â He attempts to deflect, but you see the blush deepening across his pale cheeks. âBesides, I oughta be kissing the ground you walk on birdie, just look at yaâŚâ He reaches a hand out towards yours, spinning you around gracefully, taking the time to admire you entirely.
The look in his eyes is glazing over, as he licks his lips, eyes unable to tear away from each inch of skin you have exposed. Youâre equally become as hot and bothered, but youâve got a goal tonight, and you want to see it through, for his sake.
âBefore dinner, I uh- I wanted to do something for you.â You say, stepping back enough that your backside meets the edge of the counter top. Your hands feel behind you for what youâre looking for, hoping he canât see what youâre attempting to conceal for just a little longer. âI donât need to explain to you how hard you work, everywhere you go, youâre always taking care of others, Si. And you donât get even nearly as much thanks as you should, and-â
âLove,â he tries to cut you off, stepping closer to you, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
âHold on, I really want to say this. To do this.â He nods at your interjection, accepting to hear you through. âEver since I met you, youâve changed my life Simon Riley, and I know Iâm not the only person in the world who can say that. You are a good man, a hero to many, a leader to others. Youâre just- you are good, Si. I promise you are.â
You canât help the emotion beginning to seep into your voice now, but itâs important to you that he hears every word you have to tell him, and that he knows you mean them.
âI donât know everything youâve done, and I donât want to. Your job terrifies me, and every time you walk out the door Iâm scared youâre going to get hurt but- youâre so good at what you do, Simon. They couldnât do it without you. Youâre important, youâre needed.â At this, you slip the frame of medals out from behind your back, bringing them in front of you for Simon to see. âThatâs what these are, at least in my eyes. Theyâre reminders that youâre meant to be doing what youâre doing, but most importantly, they also mean you made it back. You made it back to me.â
His warm hand reaches out to brush away a stray tear thatâs spilled over your lashes, his palm staying to cup your cheek affectionately.
âYouâre right, we donât need all the fanfare, all we need is right here. But some occasions call for a celebration. Thatâs why Iâm hoping youâll let me put these on you? Just once, just this one time, I just- I need you to know how important you and your accomplishments are to me.â
Wordlessly, he nods to you, his own eyes appearing to be brimming with emotion. Sniffling, you turn the frame over, opening up the back before carefully slipping it off. Your fingers gingerly pick up the first medal they find, bringing it up to his firm chest. You look into his eyes once more, ensuring that this is okay with him. All you see in his gaze is pure, undeniable love. One hand reaches between the fabric of his shirt and the warm, scarred skin across his pec, as the other brings the medal to the front of the button-up. With all the devotion and tenderness in the world, you secure the medal to his front, slowly slinking your hands away to see if itâll stay in its place.
When the medal does not budge, you repeat the process over with the remaining medals, until one side of his shirt is significantly weighed down compared to the other side, and both your hearts are bursting with affection for the human being stood before you. Sliding your now empty hands up his shoulders, his calloused palms resting on either side of your waist, his eyes communicate to you everything that his lips will never need to tell you. You know him. And you know what you mean to him. Thatâs why as he shuts his eyes and presses a kiss to your forehead, you find yourself whispering the sentence you hope to tell him every day of your life: