Resent of the Mad

“Be careful, you are not in Wonderland. I’ve heard the strange madness long growing in your soul. But you are fortunate in your ignorance, in your isolation. You who have suffered, find where love hides. Give, share, lose—lest we die, unbloomed.” Independent PJO/HOO roleplay blog. Second/next generation. ((This is a sideblog to deathnwine. You will be followed on there.))

[tomhardyvariations]

[bacchicresent]

Tom Hardy by Rankin (2011) 

via Elle Russia May 2015 | my scan

[bacchicresent]

Are you okay?

“I just missed you a lot lately…” He said as he went to lean his head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone”

[lightning-hammer]

Nate instantly wrapped his arms around him. “I’ve missed you too.” He kissed his hair. “Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

[bacchicresent]

Dane looked at his wrists and then back at the other blonde. "I think for once you're wrong" he said and nuzzled the other boy's neck "my dad says if I don't get better I'm going to have to take medication... I don't want that"

[bacchicresent]

Are you okay?

"I just missed you a lot lately..." He said as he went to lean his head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry I've been gone"

[bacchicresent]

Dane spends so much time trying to rationalize that he can't ever have a love like his fathers have. He feels he doesn't deserve it somehow and yet... He's had it his entire life and is maybe jut too scared to let it in.

[ulliell]

[bacchicresent]

“Shall we stay here forever?”

Jongens (2014) dir. Mischa Kamp

[eyebagdehaan]

Dane DeHaan for Another Man S/S15

[wastedhype]

[bacchicresent]

“probably because you’re in bed with me now” he said with a smile and leaned to kiss the top of Nathan’s head. “Was it a nightmare?”

[lightning-hammer]

“I like being in bed with you.” He grinned, his hand going to rest over Dane’s heart. There was a minute pause with a ragged breath. “Yeah..”

[bacchicresent]

“I like having you in bed with me” the other blonde agreed. When he realized that his suspicions were correct he nodded and put his arms protectively around Nathan “want to talk about it?”

[deep-sexts]

[lightning-hammer]

“How’d you guess?” Nathan chuckled weakly, laying head on his shoulder gently. His free hand curled a fist around the sheets

[bacchicresent]

“probably because you’re in bed with me now” he said with a smile and leaned to kiss the top of Nathan’s head. “Was it a nightmare?”

[bacchicresent]

-climbs in Dane's window, lays next to him-

Dane heard the window open and he simply smiled when he felt the bed stirr “can’t sleep?” he asked as he went to wrap his arms around Nathan. 

[bacchicresent]

Dane couldn’t stop smiling and for a moment he wished they were alone because he’d do so much more than just kissing him. He had known he missed Nathan, he had felt thelonging in his heart for the man but it was so much more intense now actually seeing him, feeling his hands, his lips and seeing his eyes look back at him. 

“I missed you… I thought I knew how much” he shook his head “I only knew half of it, like seeing a piece of a puzzle as you build it and then blinking and realizing it’s so much bigger than you thought” His heart filled with sorrow then. He had left for Nathan’s own good but now, seeing him here made him feel like maybe he had made a huge mistake. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

[lightning-hammer]

“You always were the one who was better with words.” Nathan kissed his forehead. He had dreamed of that for years. He frowned with concern when Dane apologized. “You have nothing to be sorry for Dane.” He pulled him closer again. “Never.”

“I really missed you too.” He couldn’t put it into words like the other man could. “I love you.” The words slipped through the filter but they were still true. They always would be. He paled though. Dane didn’t need that jammed down his throat as soon as he got home. “I’m sorry…it slipped.”

[bacchicresent]

Dane grinned a little "it's what I get paid to do..." He reminded the other man. "And I do. I have so many things to apologize for, Nathan. I promised I'd never leave you and I lied to you. I left you" and he hadn't even said a word. His heart ached so much but he felt like he was home again, in the arms of the man he loved.

When the words hit him it was like they had suddenly transported to the beach and a wave hit his face. "I love you too" he answered, not caring for the apology Nathan offered "I always have. I always will" he shook his head a little "I wasn't--I wasn't right, you know I needed to... Go away" he sighed and looked down at his bag "I'm supposed to go home to my dads... Do you want to come?"

[lightning-hammer]

Nate’s hand tightened in his hair, he moved forward to press forehead against his. A thank you went out to the fates for making his train later. But right at this moment, he never wanted to leave. He was home because he was with the man he loved. 

The verses reached his ears and he smiled softly, kissing him lightly again. Dane had always had a way with words and the years had not changed that. “If my heart was a house, you’d be home.” He returned, quoting a song he had heard on the radio recently. It fit.  

[bacchicresent]

Dane couldn’t stop smiling and for a moment he wished they were alone because he’d do so much more than just kissing him. He had known he missed Nathan, he had felt thelonging in his heart for the man but it was so much more intense now actually seeing him, feeling his hands, his lips and seeing his eyes look back at him. 

“I missed you... I thought I knew how much” he shook his head “I only knew half of it, like seeing a piece of a puzzle as you build it and then blinking and realizing it’s so much bigger than you thought” His heart filled with sorrow then. He had left for Nathan’s own good but now, seeing him here made him feel like maybe he had made a huge mistake. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

[deathnwine]

Suddenly Nathan was a teenager again and they were hanging out by the pool. Making out in the water and keeping each other afloat. Just like they had promised. He pressed closer, sliding a hand into his hair to hold on. He needed to keep this. It had been far too long. His other arm wrapped around Dane’s waist, pressing the hand against the small of his back. He knew his body as well as his own and all it’s hot spots. This might not be one of them but it was very close. 

Even though oxygen wasn’t as much of an issue for him, Nate still broke the kiss. He stayed right at his lips, his breathing coming faster than normal. Dane had always that effect on him. 

When Dane kissed him back and he felt the hand on the small of his back the other man let out a gentle sigh and a quiet moan. People were looking and some might not like it but he didn’t care. Let them look. Because all he cared was that some random twist of fate had brought Nathan to him now and he was not one to argue with fate. 

Once the kiss broke Dane’d blue eyes worked to find the other’s own blue gaze. No matter what he had done, no matter what he had seen or who he had been with no blue could ever be as perfect as Nathan’s eyes. They were deep and stormy, like the sky right before lightbing struck on a stormy summer’s day. 

“The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.” he whispered because no hello was good enough… Wilde could always fix that.

[lightning-hammer]

Without completely thinking it through, Nathan pulled the man into a hug. And it felt right. Just like it always had. Like coming home after a long day and just seeing the person you love. He had his parents say it. Plus Uncle Rory and Edmund. And right now, he felt it for the first time in years. 

Clearing his throat, he released him but stayed close. “Hi…” He whispered shyly. 

[bacchicresent]

When he was hugged Dane completely forgot about their surroundings and every word about love he had ever wrote suddenly came flooding his mind and he had to close his eyes to keep himself from drowning in the emotion. Nathan had always had that effect on him... he either brought him to reality or sank him into a world where only emotions mattered.

He heard the greeting but he didn’t return it the same. Instead he leaned in to kiss Nathan on the lips like he hadn’t done in years. He didn’t want to do it, oh no, he needed to kiss him. He needed to proove this wasn’t a dream that right before their lips met he wouldn’t wake up and try his hardest to bring him back... No, not this time, this time you’re here and you are mine. 

[lightning-hammer]

bacchicresent

It didn’t matter how many years that it had been. Dane Ackerman-Hewton would always be recognizable to him. He knew the bo-no man as well as he knew himself. Even across this distance, he knew him. 

Pushing through people, Nate came up beside him and tapped his shoulder. A deep breath pushed through his lungs as he waited

[bacchicresent]

Of all the words in the english language, the ones he had written, the ones he used daily... None of them could come close to making him feel like his soul was touched as the name Nathan Grace-Elano. 

When he turned aroud, when he saw those blue eyes looking back at him suddenly the world stopped. He had fantasized about this meeting since they had last seen each other and of all places a crowded train station seemed almost too perfect and for once the poet was silent... Only a smile passed his lips. For an instant time stood still and they were kids again and had promised to see each other the next day. It’s finally tomorrow... and no time has passed. Only perhpas just enough to make you olook even more perfect. 

[bacchicresent]

"Well try not to yeah? We'll hope to see you there."

“I’ll do my best...” he watched him for alittle “you know I’ll kick your ass if you hurt him, right?”