[baconflummox]

I think i am actually dying. Lower abdomnial pain for 4 days. But i kinda wish i dont get better. I kinda wish....this is the way i go. Natural causes, so no one can blame me or anyone else. No one cares anyways. Oh well.

[baconflummox]

Belonging. Something ive never genuinely felt. I never felt like i belonged in my family, in my job, in my life. I just always feel so alone. Ive written so many things on here since highschool but when will i ever really get better. Everyone leaves because i am broke. Maybe i should fall inlove with my depression so that it leaves me too.

Im so tired of everything. Tired to the bones that I dont have words to describe how I feel.

Just end me. Please.

I dont deserve happiness

[baconflummox]

Things i'll never send

If i die soon, i hope he sees this.

Dear B,

When you find someone new, I hope she will make you happier. Its kind of sad that I always think about this: that I wish happiness for someone I like, care, and love. How I will always wish the best for someone who probably didn't want anything with me. How I will always be left alone, over and over, when they finally find someone. How it is always unrequited love. But I know why we cant be together. I know why im bad for you. I know why I dont deserve you. It hurts. It was almost. Almost us. Almost yours. Im Catholic and you dont really like them. We dont agree with a lot of political or religious things. But i still love you. You came to me while i was healing. But I cant tell you. How much I love you, how much I want to be with you. Only because Im afraid of hurting you. You do not need more stress in your life. I am a bad person. A bad influence. A spoiled soul. An unholy example. I am friendzoned. I do not compare to others. I am ugly. I am worthless. I am nothing. I keep thinking of this one thought. I attend your wedding. Not as your bride. But as a friend. I see you happy. You found someone happy. Someone better. I wont ever be enough for someone. the wedding is done and the reception is finished. I drive out alone after, maybe somewhere we visited together, somewhere we traveled together. I leave a letter saying "I wish the best for anyone and everyone. I do not belong in this world and I do not deserve happiness. I shall no longer exist. Nothing will get better for me, but it will for you and you all. Thank you for everything." I then jump off, whether it be a cliff, a building, or whatever. but i keep thinking of it as a cliff in canada.

I wish I could end my life like that. Knowing I will never be happy on my own.

I cant tell you how much I like you. How much I love spending time with you. How i keep comparing myself to girls you find attractive. I dont want to ruin the friendship, because I will be alone again. So i will stay friends. I will continue to be hurt, and continue to hurt myself just to be with you in any way, even if I am not yours and you are not mines. You are funny, cute, and I find you extremely attractive for who you are. I dont care about what you can or cannot provide, as long as you are yourself. I wish i can tell you how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you. I wish I can tell you so much. But I am a placeholder for you. Until you find someone better

And you will find someone better.

I want to hold you when you're going through something. I want to be with you when youre at your highs and lows. I want you to annoy me with your goofiness. I want you to hold me when you need to hug someone. This is the first time where ive felt like I am holding myself back because I care about you. Me telling you that you're more than enough when you dont think you are. I love you. I do. But you cant be with me, for your sake. I am a bad person. And you are a good person.

I do not deserve to be loved. You do. And i hope one day, you will be loved like I love you now.

Love,

A

[toastbutteregg]

I WAS SO GOOD AT THIS

[taiikodon]

[memeuplift]

[toastbutteregg]

[baconflummox]

I think its kind of sad that im accepting that I will probably be single forever. Ive lost hope and Im numb to caring about someone as much as I used to. Ive become so cold. Im always just used. Never cared about. No one really ever did now that I think about it.

Why should I care about people of they never cared about me?

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[baconflummox]

I think im just gonna be single for the rest of my life and then die alone. I hate the dating scene now. Everyone just wants to use me for my body and then fucking leave. I actually dont deserve happiness. I actually dont. Who the fuck would care if I was gone???

[baconflummox]

He wanted to be with a religious girl who judged people on their zodiac signs, publicly loved porn and basically lied about being holy, treated him like he was not a priority, and didnt want to spend time with him. I do all the opposite but he told me I cant be with him because im catholic. The fuck is this. Why am I still here. I just want to fucking die

[baconflummox]

Im starting to become afraid that when I like someone, its the idea of them and not actually them. I dont know the difference anymore

[baconflummox]

I will never be enough i will never be enough i will never be enough i will never be enough

[baconflummox]

New job but all i want to do is fucking die

[baconflummox]

To my toxic ex who has been with three girls in a year while i graduated, moved out, stayed single, and got my big girl job. Hope girl hunting is doing ya good and that they can see how much of a piece of shit you are LOL. You lost your best friend and your irl friends hate you too. Good luck to the current girl because theyre not ready for the amount of red flags you have. 🤣👍 surprised i still had these screenshots. Now your best friend and I are laughing at how we both dodged a bullet. You made it easy to leave and im glad you broke up with me.

[abnormall]

the truth is, i dont have the guts to kiII myself. i want to walk busy roads and dark alleys in the hopes someone will do it for me