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@bad-op-fic-ideas
(040) Zoro and Sanji, newly engaged after the Whole Cake Island fiasco, must now fake their divorce for an undercover mission- which has the rest of the crew in hysterics at the comedic timing of it all. The couple would usually also be getting a kick out of it (Mostly at each other's expense), except, well...
The whole situation is making them realize that they actually prefer being separated...
(039) Buggy is nothing if not flashy! And also severely, severely unlucky. (Or, well, it could be seen as luck; I suppose it just depends on how you look at it.)
Anyways- Buggy's unlucky streak dates all the way back to the day he was finally found by the infamous Roger Pirates!
Which only happened because he got caught by a certain redhead while he was in the middle of stealing all of their loot...
(038) After a bet gone wrong, Brook and Franky are forced to switch their roles on the crew- making Franky the Straw Hats' current musician and Brook their resident handyman!
Unfortunately, the two quickly discover that while they may excel in listening to one another talk about their respective crafts, neither of them are quite sure how to go about actually... doing them...
Ah, well, as the saying goes: You learn to walk by falling over, not by standing in place!
Even if falling over, in this case, refers to accidentally breaking multiple instruments and causing general havoc around the ship in an attempt to repair it...
(037) Zoro finds himself lost (again), down two of his swords (again), and severely injured (again); not only that but he's also been separated from his crew ("If you say it one more time-").
Fortunately, he finds himself in the company of none other than his & Luffy's old friend, Koby! Hopefully, he knows his way around a map, because Zoro can't make heads or tails of the one he got his hands on.
... What the hell is a Fire Nation, anyway?
(036) The last thing that Sir Crocodile was expecting when he struck a deal with the king of Alabasta was becoming the princess of Alabasta's bodyguard.
But, well... he supposes there are worse things he could be doing. At least she's mature, despite her young age. And she's surprisingly intelligent, too- not to mention observant.
("You don't like those fancy meetings, do you."
"Hm? What makes you say that?"
"You don't talk as much during them, and you always favour your hook arm when you're bored, which you always do whenever we go. And you get annoyed easier with Igaram and me; I can tell because you walk stiffer when you're mad."
"... Huh.")
Yes, there are worse things to do, indeed...
(035) Today's prompt is: Usopp and Zoro's bodies get swapped. During this predicament, Usopp gets the hang of Zoro's body a lot quicker than Zoro gets his, the two of them are presented with the unique challenge of fighting people in each other's bodies, and neither of them is exactly sure on how to swap back...
(034) Nami is nothing if not a taker of opportunities and a lover of berries; which is why she takes up a mysterious "Mr. 0" on a contract to sneak into and steal the crown of Alabasta for a hefty one million berries in return!
And is also how she lands herself smack-dab in the middle of the kingdom's prison after she gets caught by none other than its apparent protector, Sir Crocodile...
Fortunately, and moreso shockingly for her, the king offers her a deal under the cover of night:
Apparently, she needs to safely escort his daughter -the beloved princess of Alabasta, Nefertari Vivi- to a checkpoint right along the edge of the kingdom of sand. With the help of her bodyguard, Igaram, of course. In return, he'll fully pardon her attempted crime and give her a large sum of money to boot!
But, if she is to deny the deal, she will be sent off to the guillotine for her offence against the kingdom and its citizens...
("Hmm... it sounds like a certainly life-threatening mission... but, hey, I do love walking free and not being sentenced to death. And the money is a huge plus!")
Well, you know what they say; when life gives you lemons, risk life and limb to escort a princess across a desert wasteland while being hunted down by terrifying individuals who want her dead! Or, well, something to that effect...
(033) Sanji wants to surprise his boyfriend, Usopp, for their one-year anniversary! He has an entire three-course meal planned, consisting of all their favourite foods and the location decked out for maximum romance, along with a special gift he can present to his beautiful sniper when they've finished.
Unfortunately for him, the rest of the crew gets the idea to each give him some advice on how he could make it even better- and the simple yet sweet dinner date turns into something that spirals out of Sanji's control.
Well... at the very least, it'll be a night to remember...?
(032) Dying and coming back as a ghost stuck haunting his best friend's helmet was not on Kid's itinerary, shockingly enough.
But, well, when life gives you lemons, fuck everybody's shit up as a ghost or some crap, right?
(031) In an alternate universe, Sabo's childhood goes roughly the same as it originally does- up until he gets picked up and nursed back to health by Marines instead of Revolutionaries after being shot down by a Celestial Dragon.
This, of course, leads to some... interesting changes to the rest of the story.
(030) The Straw Hat crew experiences a notable physical reaction to the volcanic fumes of the island they've docked at, and a word with the locals has Robin and Chopper breaking the news to the crew in less-than-gentle terms. They react as well as could be expected:
"Waitwaitwait- I'm sorry, the volcano gas is doing what to us?"
"Well, it isn't the volcanic fumes itself that cause the reaction; it reacts with the naturally occurring water in the island's atmosphere to create a unique gas that acts as a sort of aphrodisiac to humans."
"Or, as the locals have taken to calling it: Sex pollen. The history behind the name is actually quite interesting, you know. It was a rather enjoyable read."
"... Uh, Nami? How long until the log pose resets...?"
"... Three days."
"Ah... shit."
(029) The Straw Hat crew is about to face their most difficult challenge yet:
Shopping in Ikea.
Grab the reusable shopping bags, follow Nami like your life depends on it ("It does, actually."), and someone hold onto Zoro, because this is going to be a wild one!
(028) Losing a limb can be a traumatizing experience all around, not only for the person who lost it but also for anyone who witnessed it.
Getting a limb amputated right after waking up with amnesia with nothing to you but some torn-up clothes and a name surrounded by strangers and a man whom you have extremely vaguely good feelings towards deserves a category of its own, in Sabo's humble opinion.
(027) The captains of the Strawhat, Kid, and Heart pirates have placed a bet; which one of them is truly the best captain? This is proven in, of course, the only way it can be:
"A singing contest?"
"By switching crew- wait, what? How would singing determine which one of us is the best captain?"
"Cus' pirates sing, duh."
"We should do Binks' Brew if we're doing a singing contest."
"We're not- we are not singing! We're switching crews, and that's final. No singing allowed."
"Aww, boring..."
"Pfft, someone's embarrassed about their singing voice, huh, Trafalgar?"
"I will switch your head with your ass."
(026) Sleeping his way to the top was not what Smoker had planned when he joined the Marines, but what the hell, right? He's already having fun; he might as well get something else out of it.
(025) Instead of getting teleported to the places they do in canon, the Straw Hats somehow get sent to the wrong places- with Chopper stuck on Boin, Nami dealing with Dracule Mihawk and Perona, Zoro being forced to make his name as a rockstar, and so on and so forth.
("Yohoho, not that I'm doubting your abilities, Master Zoro, but, ah, your voice is... not exactly fit for singing... how did you manage to work around that?"
"Usually just screamed the lyrics out. Worked well enough.")
(024) Due to [plot device/s], Garp winds up at the Baratie, immediately getting into a fight with one of the chef's and breaking at least two tables in the process. This, of course, pisses off the owner, Zeff, who gives the marine a piece of his mind in the form of a kick in the ass.
And thus begins the romance between two old men with far too much time on their hands and far too little shame.