Sammy

I’m a mess… but like, a contained mess. I like pretty things.

[badbrainjailtime]

Screaming into the void again.

Just…. Just screaming.

[unboundprompts]

Random Prompt #201

"Something is happening."

"No, it's not."

"Something is," he insisted, "and you need to tell me what, so I can help."

[badbrainjailtime]

Literally me every week in therapy. My poor therapist. He’s gotta be sick of my bullshit at this point.

[gentlewordsdaily]

Letting someone in can feel terrifying. You get used to your own little world, your own routines, your own walls. They may not be perfect, but they are familiar. Safe, in a way.

So when someone comes along who wants to know the real you, the messy parts, the quiet thoughts, the things you usually keep tucked away, it can feel overwhelming. You might wonder what if they leave? What if they don’t like what they see? What if you give too much of yourself away?

But letting someone in doesn’t have to mean losing yourself. It doesn’t have to happen all at once. It can be slow, gentle, and on your own terms. One honest conversation. One shared laugh. One small moment of trust at a time.

And the right people won’t rush you. They won’t demand every piece of your heart immediately. They will sit with you in the quiet, respect your boundaries, and stay soft with your fears.

You deserve connections that feel safe, not scary. You deserve people who treat your trust like something precious. So take your time, open the door just a little, and remember, you are allowed to choose who gets to come inside.

[badbrainjailtime]

In a not-romantic way at all, I feel this way with my therapist - it has been a slow process opening up about a lot of really awful shit and just… not running away after being incredibly vulnerable.

There was one session a few weeks ago where we were talking and it was a bit lighthearted but he stops the conversation abruptly and just says “I know that there is a part of you that is carrying something incredibly heavy and it’s causing you a lot of pain. You don’t have to talk about it right now but I just want to acknowledge that part and let you know that we can talk about it when you are ready.”

Cue ugly crying.

That was the moment I knew this was a safe space.

I joke sometimes about how I pay him to care but during another session a couple weeks ago when I brought up that very heavy thing finally, he sat with me for at least ten minutes after my time ended because he wanted to make sure I was ok.

And I just….

That notion itself was more healing than any words could have accomplished.

[badbrainjailtime]

My new fav pastime is playing Disney Dreamlight Valley on my laptop while listening to the Hellhouse LLC movie trilogy on my iPad. Idk why but it works.

It staves off the bad brain tendencies.

[love-notes-to-survivors]

I promise you haven't fucked up as badly as you think you have.

[crazycatsiren]

A wise mentor once said to me while I was student teaching: "Did you actually fuck it up, or did it just not go how you expected it to go?"

Life changing words.

[allegedlyiwrite]

You ever write a sentence worded so dumb you consider switching hobbies?

[badbrainjailtime]

Just one? I have entire drafts of those 🤣 😅 🥺

[anxietyproblem]

[badbrainjailtime]

Me and my valentine are having a nice, relaxing evening in tomorrow. Building a Lego set and cooking dinner and watching Gilmore Girls on dvd.

Not because I don’t want to be taken out on a romantic date. No, my paycheck was for a single hour of pay, despite me working 80 hours and having Covid. My boss routinely fucks up my pay and takes his sweet ass time fixing it.

It’s a time.

This is your sign to give your boss nothing more than what they pay you to do. And even then, that’s generous because they won’t follow through half the time if they’re anything like mine.

[bakwaaas]

it’s okay to say ‘this isn’t for me’ or ‘I’m not happy here’ and leave… you don’t have to wait for things to be really bad

[badbrainjailtime]

I really needed this today. Like… really.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

Wattpad: pay me monthly 🤩 and we will remove ads for you. also free offline stories I guess as long as you keep paying me. but we have censorship so keep your kinks to yourself. what we don’t have is tagging systems, so good luck trying to find what you want or avoiding what you don’t want to read lol

meanwhile AO3: so everything is free in our house. read whatever you want offline. also no ads. no capitalism. no censorship. be as wild as you want with your fics. also we have tagging systems so you can search or avoid any specific tags, pairings, relationships or characters. whatever you want.

I’m sorry but if you’re still complaining, you don’t realize how good you have it with AO3, one of the last platforms on the internet that is free of capitalism and censorship. just artists and writers creating and sharing their works with the community for free and for fun. just authentic love between artists, their works, characters, stories and audiences.

[badbrainjailtime]

I personally don’t read/write fic and have never used ao3 but I’ve been around the tumblr block A While, and like… wtf are we just paywalling the entire human existence now??? For what??? Six people to hoard all the net worth on earth?????? I hate this timeline. I hate that everything revolves around profits and bottom lines and that art can’t just be made and shared for fun anymore. I feel like OUaT Rumpelstiltskin is running everything behind the scenes and we are just marionettes at the mercy of the rich.

everything comes with a price

[badbrainjailtime]

Does anyone else have this brain deficiency, where if you get bad instructions, you literally cannot make yourself attempt the task but god forbid you ask for help or clarification because then you’re dumb and a burden? Just me? Ok.

[badbrainjailtime]

“I had a bad day.”

“Well then go to bed and wake up with a better attitude.”

“I will stay up all night, thank you. Fuck your better attitude.”

[thepaisleyelf]

There’s a liquor store near my house that seems to be run exclusively by frat boys. They lovingly curate these bags, which I browsed today while “Oops I Did It Again” played through the store speakers. This is art to me, there is beauty everywhere for those with eyes to see it

[badbrainjailtime]

This is the content that keeps me coming back to this hellsite.

[calliopechild]

We all like to think we can handle change gracefully, and then someone rearranges our grocery store.

[badbrainjailtime]

Me when they took down the Sprayed Edges wall of books at my fav Barnes and noble. Can never go back now.

[mbrainspaz]

idk what neurodivergent young adult needs to hear this but you are NOT supposed to give 100% at your job. I've gotten more promotions and raises since I started giving 40-60%, which my evil CEO uncle informed me is what bosses actually expect when they say 110%. My mental health has improved tremendously. I've spent 2 out of 5 workdays secretly writing my novel for the last 2 years and I've never been more respected and appreciated. Also--when you see glaring wasteful errors in the company's operating systems, say absolutely nothing! Embrace inefficiency. It is your friend in this capitalist hellscape.

[badbrainjailtime]

Sometimes I need to be reminded that I save PDF’s, not lives. The burnout is bad and so unnecessary.

[badbrainjailtime]

I think I’m legitimately going insane.

[badbrainjailtime]

I was not in fact going insane.

It’s been covid that won’t go away.

[badbrainjailtime]

I think I’m legitimately going insane.