I was going to post this when the second half of this was closer to being completed, but I've been busy elsewhere, and haven't had time, and I wanted to share this.
Unpopular opinion but.... The wolves in kfp are lowkey underrated
Like I know many ppl barely talk about them and they're not much on screen but PLEASE i love them😭 their designs are actually so cool, especially boss wolf's, he deserves more love pls
I could swear that everytime a wolf appears in kfp I just stare at the screen and be like "A WOLF!!!!", and one thing about kfp 4 i was happy about was seeing them return again(but they looked less scary lol, tho its fine i love them, love the kfp 2 ones still
(im still upset by ehe fact by the idea of having boss wolf in the 3rd movie was scrapped)
Dude look at mf right there, having his friggin tongue sticking out there like a broken stick😭🙏
Teenaged!AU What to do With the Pandas, and the Plot Bunnies Don't Like Me
The problem with writing a fic where Shen doesn't get rid of all the Pandas, is that it affects everything else that ever happens....
So, I'm trying to spare myself the headache of writing an alternate franchise, by somehow, through some other convoluted means making Po the Dragon Warrior, which creates its own headache.
So I guess all the pandas still die.... But Shen didn't do it? So, who does? What does?
A flood? A really bad storm? A forest fire? I guess they don't ever really have to die. 🤔 There just needs to be justifiable reason why Po has to remain separated from them.
I really have no idea how I want to handle the pandas not being around. Do they need to be dead? No. Gone? Yes.
I am open to suggestions if anyone wants to chime in
So, to take a break from thinking about how Shen will survive having survived the end of the Second movie, because every person in Gongmen City wants his head. I want to ramble about The Chameleon Arc in All is Conspiracy, because Tai Lung, Kai, and Shen will all interact with her... separately.
As fun as the four of them in a room together would be, it's not going to be a thing in this fic.
So here are plot points and headcanons, I guess??? Here is a ramble.
TLDR: Tai Lung betrays her
Kai straight up tries to kill her on sight
Shen says mean things to her, and her hatred for him gets personal
So, for clarification, Chameleon takes over China. She does what both Kai and Shen failed to do, so things get ugly really fast.
That might be important context for this ramble? I'm not sure.
Tai Lung and Chameleon:
Straight away I'm still hazy about these two. He doesn't like her. He doesn't like what she's done to him or other villainous masters. He's not super thrilled about being back. He sticks around for a few different reasons. On some level, he's still not completely over the Dragon Warrior thing, but more than that, he doesn't like what she might do to innocent people or anyone else, especially when meets people bold enough to resist her, and observant enough to see through her disguises.
At some point she takes over the Valley of Peace. Shifu gets kidnapped, which is where Tai Lung drops any pretense of loyalty and actively turns against her.
He goes out of his way to rescue Shifu, which is how he will eventually run into the Furious Five.
Kai and Chameleon:
The Chameleon I think views Kai as a big enough threat to actively try to send him back to the Spirit Realm, once she claims his powers, and he is having none of it. He hates her. Hates everything about her. Not even a snowflake's chance in a forest fire of these two getting along.
And she is afraid of him. Given the opportunity he will demolish her legacy until she's not even a footnote in the history books. Oh no. The Beast of Vengeance is going to attempt to live up to all of his names.
Yeah, this one is kind of vague, because there is nothing but animosity here, and I don't know what else to add, until I have a better idea of what that means.
Shen and Chameleon:
Excuse me while I go laugh like a villain, in some dark little corner. By this point in the story, Shen is... still himself, but maybe slightly more reliable. No. He's still a trash fire. He just happens to be Gongmen City's trash fire who at this point has made a career out of lighting other people lives on fire, and while no one likes him, it hasn't been all bad, so people begrudgingly barely tolerate him.
He's like a splinter. A really uncomfortable splinter no one has a pair of tweezers fine enough to remove, so everyone uncomfortably lives with the fact he exists. And no one's happy about it, including him, so it's perfect.
So naturally he and The Chameleon get along about as well as oil and water. Things are said. Things are done. Knives are thrown. It's a mess that results in Shen being thrown in a cage.
But in the ensuing conflict Shen has made himself the most dislikable person ever, and The Chameleon decides he needs to suffer, because he hit a nerve.
TLDR: Tai Lung betrays her
Kai straight up tries to kill her on sight
Shen is mean to her and somehow pays the heaviest price for it???
All is Conspiracy main!verse and All is Conspiracy Teen!Au will both be getting updated hopefully by no later than next weekend?
The second chapter of Main!verse has been an absolute beast to write, and it's been nerve wracking. Sooo that's been fun lol
The Teen!Au Au I'm not vibing with and apart from a single scene I really am inspired to write I'm scrapping it. I'm not excited for it. Don't care about it.
There will be memes again in the future. Eventually.
All is Conspiracy main!verse and All is Conspiracy Teen!Au will both be getting updated hopefully by no later than next weekend?
The second chapter of Main!verse has been an absolute beast to write, and it's been nerve wracking. Sooo that's been fun lol
The Teen!Au Au I'm not vibing with and apart from a single scene I really am inspired to write I'm scrapping it. I'm not excited for it. Don't care about it.
There will be memes again in the future. Eventually.
Quick context. Shen and Wolf Boss (Zhong) are teens here. How old exactly, I have no idea, but old enough that what follows may very well be the dumbest things anyone could say to Shen. It's a good thing they're such great friends or this scene could have ended really badly. (It probably should...anyways.)
“I still might try to see the pictures…. I’d like to see who’s likely to sail here.”
The wolf grinned mischievously, willing to help.
“Even if they were ugly, none of them are going to be as ugly as you.”
For a moment Shen went rigid. The narrowing of his eyes was the only warning the wolf had, before the young lord launched himself from his seat with an indignant cry.
They crashed together onto the ground, kicking and punching and gauging, Shen cursing and spitting foul names at him, demanding to know where the canine got the gall to say something like that, but the bird’s offended rage made the wolf laugh, as he roughly shoved the irate peacock off.
Shen bodily rolled to his feet dropping into a defensive crouch, train spread wide behind him, ready to make full use of what the wolf joking referred to as twirly-whirly kung fu.
He got to his feet wary of the onslaught about to come at any second.
“How could you say something like that?!”
Zhong smirked toothily. “You looked like you were waiting for an excuse to hit something. Thought I’d help you out.”
“Oh, well how very considerate of you,” Shen sneered. He hated how casually the wolf was standing there, while he frantically tried to draw on every lesson he'd learned about dealing with heavier stronger opponents.
“It’s what friends are for,” the wolf shrugged, still quietly laughing. Shen’s eye twitched, and his beak quirked.
“I’m sorry, what are friends good for?” He asked way too demurely. “Being considerate, or getting new ones ripped into them?”
He internally winced at how corny he sounded, as the wolf’s smirk widened and his eyes hardened.
I started this back in February, as a wishful/ hopeful hypothetical scenario. Since they were bringing a lot of characters back, one that I really wanted to see was Soothsayer. I would have loved Soothsayer having a cameo, of some kind. Any kind. So, I wrote a Soothsayer reunites with dead-Shen fic, because I am a monster. And then due to life, I never finished it. So, I decided to wrap this thing up this weekend.
The bowl cracked with a snap, and smoke was buffeted upward, in a shape unsettlingly familiar, as a cold leaden weight of dread settled heavily in the pit of the Soothsayer’s stomach. Smoke had spread like a fan… her own words from a lifetime before echoing in her head.
‘A peacock is defeated by a warrior of black and white…’ Loud her voice rang in her ears. Reverberated in her mind. Suddenly mocking and cruel, when she knew she’d been sorrowing and resigned when she’d spoken those words to that very peacock for the last time. And unlike last time, something had changed.
Something unnatural. Something horrible. Something that should not have been possible let alone feasible had been done. Something, something, something, and the universe was screaming in her ears that Shen was involved. That this thing, this dreadful and terrible thing, be undone.
At the very least her macabre sense of curiosity was screaming at her to discover the truth. Quietly panicking in the safety of her own the mind, maternal instinct suddenly woken from its long dead stupor leant strength to her urgency. She was packed and locking up her house in under an hour, driven forward by the push and pull of the universe, leading her to places far away.
The Old Goat was feeling her age when she arrived. She knew she was almost there, with the universe practically shrieking in her mind, and sparking like firecrackers in her veins. This was the domain of a powerful sorceress. She should have known. She wasn’t entirely surprised, so maybe on some level she had suspected as much. But why? Why necromancy? Why Shen?
A myriad of horrifying possibilities flitted across her mind, each more alarming than the last. But she hastily stamped down her emotions, shaking her head to clear her mind. She was a little old lady, in a dangerous place, and she was having enough trouble keeping her wits about her without entertaining a hundred different nightmares.
She would have her answers when she made it there. Watching a streetside brawl turn deadly, between two enraged oxen was enough to make her tack the word ‘if’ onto the end of that thought.
The universe was getting louder, and the mind she had worked so hard to train against the unyielding burdens of fate, destiny, future, and history, was not able to blot out the phantasmal shreds of vision rising and falling in her periphery. What had been, what was, and what might never be played themselves out in shadows on the wall, making her exceedingly jumpy as she crept small and frail, through empty corridors, oppressive with the weight of power.
Real power, great and terrible resided in the palace she’d snuck into, but it had not been alerted to her presence, instead preoccupied with its own machinations.
The visions abruptly ceased. The universe fell silent with the tension of a pulled string on the verge of snapping, and power stirred. Some great leviathan, stirring from slumber, uncoiling itself, as it stretched out its will, and in the gloom echoing against the cold stone walls and hard stone floors, was the sound of footsteps.
Her measly disguise was suddenly wrenched from her and she founder herself being stared at and analyzed by the fiery eyes of a chameleon. Power recognized power, and while this sorceress was beyond her in terms of strength, she could clearly see the goat for what she was a kindred spirit of sorts, and the faint curl of her scaled lip which might have been disgust or a general from of unease was unclear.
The universe was still silent, but there was a looming sense of paradigms being shifted, and destiny and history colliding.
This chameleon’s power was great. But it was an aberration, her activities and abhorrence.
“And just what is a little old lady such as yourself doing uninvited in my house?”
Soothsayer stroked her beard. “I got lost looking for a friend.”
The chameleon’s eyes swiveled, or more accurately one of them did, while the other looked her up and down. The frown on the lizard’s lip deepened, sensing some sort of ruse. And then the reptile smiled, far too sweetly to be genuinely, and with enough visible teeth to be unsettling.
“Perhaps we can find your friend together.”
Soothsayer stared into the chameleon’s eyes, sensing the trap for what it was, but unsure how to proceed. This had been a stupid plan, but she’d needed to come here, to this awful city, and this awful palace, to see with her eyes if her visions were true.
“I…”
Somewhere, from some long shadowy hall metal scraped stone with a haunting phantasmal chime. The goat’s heart sputtered as her lungs froze, and her grip on her cane slackened, before she could gather herself.
It had been summer’s day, and the gates of the Tower of Sacred Flame had been forced open and that same sound had filled the air in time with every step… as Shen had emerged from the shadow of the gatehouse….
…. As Shen emerged from the shadows of a hallway….
Head held high, lordly and regal even in death, his brow furrowed at the sight of her. His eyes darting between her, and the The Chameleon, and back to her. There was a curve to his beak, a glint in his eyes, and he seemed to very deliberately turn his head away.
He was back from the dead.
Her heart broke for him, and she was furious on his behalf.
Back from the dead, and the old goat practically see the restless shifting of his wing feathers hidden in his sleeves as his mind raced. Her visions had once again proven true!
The little goat’s fingers tightened around her cane. Her eyes narrowed, as she dragged her gaze back to the Chameleon. The sorceress was smiling, having seen everything she needed to see, and putting it all together. She stepped to the side offering Soothsayer a fuller view of her ‘friend’ still smiling as she enjoyed watching the old goat’s horror and dismay seeing Shen again.
Soothsayer, glared at the Chameleon. “You have no right denying the dead their rest.”
She had never wanted to swing her cane at somebody more in her entire life. Her heart was racing in fury as the Chameleon’s toothy smile broadened.
“There are lots of powerful people in the spirit realm, and seeing that they’re not making use of that power, I see no reason why I can’t borrow it. Right? Lord Shen?”
The peacock’s eyes narrowed. He had been watching the pair of them again since the Soothsayer started talking.
He hated being back. Hated the all too familiar weight of the living world pushing against him from all sides, suffocating him. He was trapped. Entrammeled, and he’d gone well out of his way to be as belligerent as possible since returning, but now…. The horrid little sorceress stood between him and the Soothsayer, and he hated the current situation more than he’d hated anything since returning.
He leaned down closer to The Chameleon’s eye level capturing her full attention. “One of these days, Lizard.” He ground the word into a hateful hiss, before raising his head and adopting an air of pleasantness. “You’ll find out, when I happily escort you there.”
The Chameleon’s eyes hardened ever so slightly, even her smile never completely faltered.
“Speaking of which… this little old goat seems to have trespassed and gotten lost.” The Chameleon pointed with the staff in the goat’s direction watching Shen’s face for any sign of worry or fear. “Perhaps you’ll do her the honor of escorting her there, in the meantime.”
It wasn’t a question, and silence settled between the three of them, as Shen’s narrowed hateful eyes swung toward the Soothsayer. He was absolutely livid, and while she didn’t believe any of his ire was truly directed at her, it still turned her blood cold to see him so… murderous.
“Shen….” It was a faint little rasp of a whisper. Nothing else could come out of her throat. But it seemed to insight something within him, as he stalked closer, train slowly rising behind him.
“Why did you come here?” It was a pained little hiss trembling with anger and fear, as he put himself squarely between his old nanny and the evil little lizard watching from the background.
“Why?”
He was shaking, trembling, and Soothsayer made to reach out, is if she were going to place a hoof on his wing, but at the last second her arm froze.
“Why?”
She didn’t lower her hoof or pull away. She just couldn’t move.
“Why?!”
He stopped just out of reach, and words rose to her tongue only to wither and die. She could not bring herself to speak to him. She didn’t know what to say-or there was too much to say.
She had stood on the dock after his battle with the Warrior of Black and White. She had smiled then convinced that he may have found peace in the end. Or convinced that with time he would after his death, but to see him again brough back by cruel magic and made a slave of-it was beyond horrific, and her throat tightened around a painful lump.
The peacock exhaled and slumped, red eyes glowering at the floor between them.
“You always were a stubborn old goat.” He wanted to say she was constantly sticking her nose in his business, but he wasn’t ungrateful enough to imply something so cruel, nor was he particularly keen on revealing the nature of their relationship to the watching lizard smirking in the corner.
He gently pushed her outstretched hood down. His last words to her had been that he had no use for her. Something somewhere inside twisted, leaving him breathless, but he pushed the emotion away, cozening up instead the anger that still followed him as a constant companion after his death.
Anger he understood. Anger burned, but it was a raw hot thing, he was used to. He’d sent her away, because it had been dangerous to keep her around- a danger to his plans-to himself, and that had been all he’d been willing to admit to himself at the time. But here and now, he couldn’t deny to himself it had been partially done to keep her safe. She was in danger now. Because of him. Because of some stupid lizard playing god, and there was no panda around to save the day. To save her. He didn’t know how, but the Chameleon was going to pay. She was going to pay for all of it.
He sensed the motion behind him, and whirled. Metal collided with jade, and Shen’s train snapped open.
“Too slow.” The Chameleon’s voice was cold. Her patience had run out, and Shen sneered. He’d been difficult and unruly; unwilling to bow his head and obey from the moment she’d summoned him. She had half a mind to send him back for his constant attempted transgressions, but his brilliant mind was for too useful. She had an army. She had sorcery. She had his kung fu and all the abilities she’d stolen from every other master she’d brought back, but the one thing she didn’t have, that could expedite her plans, were Shen’s weapons.
He could invent something new and exciting for her, and sending him back prematurely would be a waste.
“Too slow?” Shen’s voice was icy, and his eyes had shrunk to pinpricks of incandescent fury. “You’re too sloppy.”
If she decided to use the staff against him, there’d be nothing he could do. Her eyes flashed teal, and for a moment he tensed expecting to feel her skittering around inside his mind, like the world’s most aggressively annoying acupuncture. But her will never overcame his. Instead, he heard footsteps.
He glowered into the corridor he’d come from earlier, while the Chameleon laughed, backing away from him.
“You want continue your foolish crusade of defiance? By all means, be the rebellious little princeling you always were.” The Chameleon leaned against the jade staff. “See how much it costs you.”
From the corridor appeared, Tai Lung. The peacock’s only response was to shift. The Soothsayer was still out of view and if she was smart, she’d start running.
“I have no use for you.” It was all he could say to her, and he had to hope fear hadn’t rooted her to the spot. He wasn’t confident about his odds.
The Chameleon’s eyes flashed. Tai Lung’s eyes flashed teal, and with a low growl, the snow leopard crouched.
Before anyone could move, there was a cacophony of loud noises. A series of ‘ouches’ ‘youches’ ‘yees’ and finally a very loud ‘oof’ followed by something crashing. All eyes were on the noise. Soothsayer, very discreetly began backing up. Shen’s eyes flicked to hers, and he gave her the tiniest of nods.
“Shen…” her voice was still so faint, so clotted with emotion. For the first time in a long time, her façade of cool aloofness had been completely shattered, and he very discreetly reached through his train feathers, to touch her arm as she’d attempted to do to him earlier.
“Goodbye, Nan- Goodbye.”
He withdrew. His wing feathers left a warm unfamiliar weight on her arm. He was once again a stern cold warrior, fully intent on the noises, coming from a side corridor. The voice huffing and puffing, followed by some other voice were both growing louder.
Shen, head raised, very deliberately relaxing, as The Panda appeared.
Po’s green eyes surveyed the dark intersection of passageways and the people he’d just stumbled on. The elderly goat that had saved him from the river, looking heartbroken, and gob smacked at the same time. Lord Shen was standing before her protectively-which seemed odd until he remembered the Soothsayer had mentioned being the tower with him when he was young. Tai Lung of all people ready to attack the peacock, and in the middle of it all stood The Chameleon, quietly watching her hard won control over the afternoon spiraling further into infuriating disarray.
A young fox appeared by the panda’s side. “You really need to sort out your failed relationship with staircases.” Was all she said as she dropped into a fighting stance.
It was probably the weirdest reunion Po had ever experienced, and yet it hardly seemed like the weirdest thing that had ever happened to him. Although he was struggling in that moment to think of what might have been weirder.
“Well, if it isn’t the so-called Dragon Warrior.” Tai Lung rose.
“Greetings Panda, we meet agai-” Shen broke the silence, and Po still winded from evidently falling a considerable distance, gave him a small lackadaisical wave.
“Hey, how’re you doing?”
It wasn’t clear who it was Po was addressing. Maybe Shen. Maybe Tai Lung. Maybe all of them. Anything that might have been said further, was drowned out by Shen suddenly laughing, just before his eyes flashed teal.
All Is Conspiracy (Main Verse AU) finally has its first chapter uploaded, and it only took... 4 years. (And I'm already burning out lmao)
All is Conspiracy (Teen!Shen AU) also has its first chapter uploaded and that only took three weeks from once I rewrote it four times. (Also not really feeling it?)
All is Conspiracy (Teen!Shen AU AU) ..... to be determined.
For quick recap:
The Main Verse is set after KFP2, and deals with the political ramifications of his survival. (It's also almost a redemption fic if you stand on your head and squint.) Shen doesn't redeem himself. He just continues to be awful, but his awfulness occasionally benefits others, and everyone (barely) puts up with it because doesn't want him murdered.
Teen!Shen AU ages down my OCs and Shen, and once again it's an exploration of Gongmen City's politics, and what would have happened if Shen ascended the throne.
Teen!Shen AU AU Is the teen AU all over again but worse. Everything is worse. Things go worse. I probably won't write this as a full fic. Instead, I'll post those things where things majorly deviate and seem interesting. Shen does get banished in this one.
Boss Wolf: "A Kung Fu warrior! He fought like a demon: big and furry, soft and squishy, kind of plush and cuddly, cute and fuzzy, tall and thicc, bootylicious and bodacious, cute and clumsy, and I fell in love instantly."
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