Yue Qingyuan/Yue Qi (The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System)
Maes Hughes (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Voting ended on5h
PROPAGANDA:
[Yue Qingyuan]
"The Sect Leader should get pregnant because the Sect Leader should be the picture of fertility and virility both, boost the usage of male child-bearing pills, and because the whole Sect would go crazy trying to find out who's the baby daddy. I think Yue Qingyuan could benefit from having to raise a child of his own instead of managing disciples, because Yue Qingyuan no longer has a family of his own and deserves one, and this way, perhaps he'd be forced to care about another person again. His strong and qi-rich body would also have an easy pregnancy and have a strong and happy child."
[Maes]
"The ultimate family man, the #1 wifeguy, wouldn't it be a joy for him to take some of the burden off his wife when the time comes to grow his family? (And shhh, everything is fine! Canon won't happen if we close our eyes and write fix-it fic instead)."
My HC is that he used to get the zoomies, but waa beaten for being unruly and disobediant. "If you have time to run around like a headless chicken, you have time to do chores".
So he still has too much energy, he just spends it on chores now. And he gets antsy without the chores. Thats a load bearing self regulation there.
#he'd be so apologetic for waking sqq but also his takeaway would be putting down a silencing array first next time#<< cackling. im imagining this is post them fucking for hours and hes still got energy#so sqq sleeps and binghes pulling up carpets and hauling water and planning prepping a 3 course breakfast#powerful cultivators dont even need to sleep SQQ just ikes sleep and also had WithoutACure. Binghe sleeps only when Shizun wants to cuddle#taking that bingpup energy and running circles when hes excited. sqq thinks its cute (@thesadisticsiren)
Shen Qingqiu giving Binghe fetch quests just to get him out of the house for a few hours. The insulation does NOT need to be replaced!
Immediately gets grumpy because now it's too quiet. Where's Binghe. Why isn't he back yet.
Closet horror fan Shen Yuan inviting his bestie Liu Qingge to come see a new movie with him— a little bit because he thinks it would be funny to scare him, but also because the aloof hunter in the woods protagonist reminds him of Liu Qingge. When they settle down in the theater, Shen Yuan does feel a little bad roping his friend into a scary movie without telling him what it was first, so before the movie even starts, he says Liu Qingge is welcome to hold his hand if he gets scared. Liu Qingge takes it immediately and holds it the entire movie. Shen Yuan feels awful! Even though Liu Qingge doesn’t show it on his face, he must have been terrified! That’s it, Liu Qingge is coming over to his place to have a blanket fort Ghibli-thon to make up for it! Although for some reason Liu Qingge still holds his hand? And lays his head on Shen Yuan’s lap? And curls up against Shen Yuan’s side until they fall asleep holding each other?
…. Liu Qingge must have been very unsettled to need this much affection to feel better. AURGHH, Shen Yuan is an awful friend!
Yue Qingyuan/Yue Qi (The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System)
Maes Hughes (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Voting ended on5h
PROPAGANDA:
[Yue Qingyuan]
"The Sect Leader should get pregnant because the Sect Leader should be the picture of fertility and virility both, boost the usage of male child-bearing pills, and because the whole Sect would go crazy trying to find out who's the baby daddy. I think Yue Qingyuan could benefit from having to raise a child of his own instead of managing disciples, because Yue Qingyuan no longer has a family of his own and deserves one, and this way, perhaps he'd be forced to care about another person again. His strong and qi-rich body would also have an easy pregnancy and have a strong and happy child."
[Maes]
"The ultimate family man, the #1 wifeguy, wouldn't it be a joy for him to take some of the burden off his wife when the time comes to grow his family? (And shhh, everything is fine! Canon won't happen if we close our eyes and write fix-it fic instead)."
jinlan city era, sqq somehow gets poisoned with something that is supposed to make him act on his most deeply suppressed thoughts or something. the cang qiong crew think he's gonna grab his disciple (didn't he die?) and either cry on him or climb him like a tree. the "about to accuse him of being a rapist and/or murderer" team expect him to start raping and/or murdering, or like, vocally planning it. everyone holds their breath as sqq marches up to luo binghe.
hope swells luo binghe's heart as shen qingqiu's hand finds the top of his head. it bubbles away in abject confusion as the hand lifts.
"seriously, you haven't even had your last growth spurt yet. look at your hair, it still has curls — you're still a baby. why would you come back so soon? certainly the cultivation sects are dens of iniquity that deserve to be burned for their crimes, but surely binghe knows he must be undefeatable if he wants to survive enacting such a sweeping change? i've been anticipating this moment since i first met luo binghe, but i'm not so impatient to be tortured to death that you had to be this much of an overachiever! honestly, binghe, go home to your palace and finish your training, what's lighting such a fire under your pants?"
so like i think he's a bit in a trance or something?
i also want to encorporate something about it being "in the book" which the audience takes to mean that sqq had a detailed written plan to raise lbh to bring down all the sects with him. someone (yqy due to experience?) points out that suicidal people are the most cheerful when they have a plan for the act, and hasn't sqq been the most cheerful these last few years, until the obvious?
the sowers' claim suddenly bears a lot more believability in this version, idk
re @bafflednpc 's tags which are glorious and as usual exactly what i needed to bounce off of to round out my thoughts. also it took SEVEN screenshots to google lens in order to copy paste and i still missed a line, so I'm snipping the parts i actually have thoughts on and people who want to also follow along/play in this space should hit Previous Reblog and read them xoxo
#oooooough i love that shit where everyone thinks they've figured out SQQ's deal #where they get some/half of it right even if they don't have the specifics
yes, Yes, YES!!! look i love bingqiu with an undying passion, but with the right misunderstandings, with representatives for so many sects here and the issue basically resolved? we could easily have like. another 8 novels of everyone being the smartest person in the room and having COMPLETELY different ideas of what's going on and how to stop it. i love it so much. romance pls burn slower i am sowing political unrest that will last decades.
[good snip comes up again later] #"act on most deeply suppressed thoughts" so like lowered inhibitions combined with compulsion? #possibly with some kind of disorientation and sedative as well #something like that would be some kind of "interrogate enemies on their greatest weaknesses" kind of potion #or perhaps some kind of bullshit animal venom to keep prey docile but still fresh?
vague on purpose, i changed the desc. like 3 times already to describe what i was writing and still didn't fit in "sqq physically trying to straighten and then re-curl lbh's hair" and "it was in the book" so like clearly i vibe with what you're vibing here. i definitely want it to be an almost trance like state, but with full bodily autonomy. like if the description could be valid for interrogation purpose but actually have the result of just his id taking over that would be ideal
Also? in my mind he got it early somehow. lbh impatience and/or going against the plan bc the answers he wants and the farce trial are two separate lines of interrogation? gyz trying to be helpful, heard this potion was for sqq, tells him it's medicinal, he takes it bc without a cure flare up because it "can't hurt"? maybe he takes the whole bottle instead of a dose, rpg health potion style. or fuck, maybe the sowers have it either as a thing to get their infection to spread more naturally or as something zzl gave them to try and lure sqq away. natural adverse reaction between without a cure and the sower infection?
in any case: sqq starts talking before hhp can get any accusations out and this line of thinking seems wayyyy more incriminating so opm gonna let it play out.
[headcanon that svsss!lbh is farther along in cultivation and therefore his aging is slowing, hence he still has his baby curls. everyone in my family's hair changed color and texture from childhood to adulthood, so can bing bing's!]
[scene a fair snip, obviously we go there] #and also if he can't stay on one train of thought easily it makes for maximum "that generates more questions than it answers anything" #ESPECIALLY be this is in a group setting. everyone gets interrupt and ask a question in such a way that sqq never really answers anything
this right here is what i needed, thank you for your brain
[very good and fun example snip, basically flash fiction, extra kudos ♥️] #but I haven't quite finished my extended lessons plans for your shixiongs...
i feel like this path leads to the reveal of the backup body ngl. which might be fun! roast his ass! let it be revealed that he set lbh up as a ticking time bomb with the full intention of changing his face and his name and living a quiet life in the borderlands, that'll cause some angst all around.
#anyway while OPM is planning how to use everything SQQ says against him YQY and LBH are having a thought called #"SQQ has been planning an elaborate suicide for nearly 2 decades and i didn't notice" and having A Lot of Feelings
qiu haitang in the background like "oh wow none of you saw this coming, huh? fascinatinggggg" bc her whole thing rhymes so well with this. whoomps, usually this kind of plot is supposed to absolve sqq, not make it worse for him 😜
maybe it's just the depression needing an outlet, but 100% let's luxuriate in this space a bit. planning a suicide while actively not wanting to die is a weird headspace to be in. [it turns out i might have just needed like. 20 extra hours of sleep. because i'm still here. still in a shitty situation but i'm still here dammit. deserve an attaboy for that.] a lot of like. if i say swiss death cleaning does that make sense? getting your affairs in order so your family doesn't have to.
so i'm seeing yqy having seen sqq making his disciples as independent as possible a symptom of like. never wanting to be caught off guard for relying on one person for everything again. and now he's seeing it as preparing them to not have a sect to come home to. and wow, he did always insist that lbh wasn't dead, didn't he? shidi, you even had me fooled. i didn't realize you were still so distrustful of any authority, no wonder you couldn't confide in me after we reunited.....
lbh is caught between being overjoyed at being central to shizun's plans and being distraught that shizun has set himself up as a target on such a scale. this is where i think the plant body gets revealed? sqq can't stand to see lbh upset, he spent that whole book so miserable when it's so easy to make him happy, look, pat pat happy lamb, it's so easy a caveman could do it! something like that perhaps
at this point lbh is fully divorced from any plans since his whole worldview has changed, so when the accusations of impropriety with his students come up (if they're still brought up when there's all of this going on), lbh is gonna raise his hand like "i threw myself at shizun every day when we lived together and this disciple is still a virgin, also if i even suspected any of my shixiongjie of making it where i couldn't, i simply would have killed them in a fit of jealousy"
and then sqq will be like "binghe don't be ridiculous, you should have at least 5 wives and a further 7 paramours by now. well one of the qin sisters died, i'm still not sure how that happened, but in any case: don't make claims you can't back up."
and because there's a fuck ton of cultivators here, someone just happens to have a thing, okay? and sqq immediately sinks to his knees, running calculations in the dirt like "but this means he doesn't have the — well he probably skipped the southern demon realm entirely with how fast he got here, but that's fine, he can just be a more active participant in that plotline, but how is he gonna — well liu mingyan won't need revenge, her brother isn't dead, so i guess — but no" and now lbh's feelings are even bigger and more all over the place lmao
starting with this bit bc I was reading this in a work call and had to mute myself at the speed of light bc this made me laugh so hard omg
"i threw myself at shizun every day when we lived together and this disciple is still a virgin, also if i even suspected any of my shixiongjie of making it where i couldn't, i simply would have killed them in a fit of jealousy"
I'm trying to decide which would be funnier. SQQ latching on to LBH saying he's a virgin and going on a tangent abt all the weird kinky sex he should have had by now. (LBH is living the dream of shizun imagining binghe in sexual situations. Cannot understand how shizun thinks he would be satisfied with anyone but shizun.) (everyone else is just scandalized and learning new things about themselves. jin lan city is abt to have an erotica renaissance). Reinforces "SQQ is a pervert" allegations.
OR option 2: SQQ's brain hears "my precious white lotus disciple propositioned me" and goes on a whole "no no that can't be right. i would have noticed that. that would never happen of course." only for binghe to detail every attempt at seducing his shizun since he was 15.
going from subtle (for a teenager) to outright obscene but SQQ refutes each one with SOME kind of explanation that it seems like he whole-heartedly believes. Gossip will now range from "SQQ is as pure in thought as a young child" to "SQQ is perhaps cursed to be incapable of thinking about sex". Also that such a pure man raised such a deviant disciple. Increases SQQ's reputation, but also makes him appear naive and gullible. LBH reputation goes waaaaaaaaaaaay down.
let it be revealed that he set lbh up as a ticking time bomb with the full intention of changing his face and his name and living a quiet life in the borderlands, that'll cause some angst all around.
SQQ: It's okay I won't die for real! I mean I will die for real, and it will hurt much more this time I presume-
(Several people are now Very Concerned.)
SQQ: but I have back up plan you see! I shall simply move my soul to a new body and pretend I was never Shen Qingqiu who had a terrible life and death. This is what contingency plans are for-
And then he starts lecturing on how "Planning in the past prevents panicking in the present" and how he could have really used that at the last Immortal alliance conference. He knew everything was going to go tits up of course, but he just couldn't bring himself to think about it long enough to plan for it. And of course then he panicked when it mattered most-
and now we can add "SQQ knew about immortal alliance conference and did fuck all" to his list of crimes. And also give LBH new conclusions to make. "Shizun didn't hate him! shizun panicked! :D Shizun's panic response was like. attempted murder! We can work on that though!"
qiu haitang in the background like "oh wow none of you saw this coming, huh? fascinatinggggg"
QHT: wow this whole thing smacks of "carefully planned long term suicide with intent to catch as many bystanders as possible and actually just an elaborate and extreme version of faking one's death to avoid justice for despicable crimes". which this guy has already done to me.
which we could take this in a SQQ confirms that he has memory loss direction (surprise for everyone outside of CQMS). and in a "OPM finally got an 'established pattern of behavior' or something something let me put peak lord shen in my very cool evil terrarium of acid"
jinlan city era, sqq somehow gets poisoned with something that is supposed to make him act on his most deeply suppressed thoughts or something. the cang qiong crew think he's gonna grab his disciple (didn't he die?) and either cry on him or climb him like a tree. the "about to accuse him of being a rapist and/or murderer" team expect him to start raping and/or murdering, or like, vocally planning it. everyone holds their breath as sqq marches up to luo binghe.
hope swells luo binghe's heart as shen qingqiu's hand finds the top of his head. it bubbles away in abject confusion as the hand lifts.
"seriously, you haven't even had your last growth spurt yet. look at your hair, it still has curls — you're still a baby. why would you come back so soon? certainly the cultivation sects are dens of iniquity that deserve to be burned for their crimes, but surely binghe knows he must be undefeatable if he wants to survive enacting such a sweeping change? i've been anticipating this moment since i first met luo binghe, but i'm not so impatient to be tortured to death that you had to be this much of an overachiever! honestly, binghe, go home to your palace and finish your training, what's lighting such a fire under your pants?"
so like i think he's a bit in a trance or something?
i also want to encorporate something about it being "in the book" which the audience takes to mean that sqq had a detailed written plan to raise lbh to bring down all the sects with him. someone (yqy due to experience?) points out that suicidal people are the most cheerful when they have a plan for the act, and hasn't sqq been the most cheerful these last few years, until the obvious?
the sowers' claim suddenly bears a lot more believability in this version, idk
Imo Yue Qingyuan should always be doing things that lewd him. Sorry, he overheats easily so he likes to train without a shirt, he hopes you dont mind. Oh and he’s not the most coordinated, so when the stairs are wet it’s just an inevitability that he falls over and shows his bulge! You can’t blame hime for falling over! And his shoulders are just so wide, he’s always getting stuck trying to retrieve things, he must look so silly with his ass stuck out like that. Oopsies! Oh and this food is delicious, he can’t help but moan, his compliments to the chef! He’s always getting Marilyn Monroed by gusts of wind when he’s flying. His boobs jiggle hentai style when he descends stairs. His pure and untainted milf aura calls wife plots to him like bees to honey. His clothes are always getting melted, he’s always getting milked, there’s been multiple occasions where random flora bend him over and spank him for seemingly no reason. LEWD HIM MORE!!!!
