bailey spinn

my worst enemy coming august 10, 2023

[baileyrosespinn]

aug. 8: secret squad

OMG. I’ve never seen anything so pathetic in my life. WAIT until you hear what happened today. Oh my god the embarrassment. The absolute cringe.

Okay so… today was clearly the hottest day of the year because EVERY body decided it was the perfect day to hit up the local public pool. 

So, you guessed it: She was there. Thinking she was gonna have some solo time to herself. Trying to do something different for once. Trying to get some tanlines or SOMETHING before the end of year state fair. She was wearing that dumb bathing suit she bought at the mall the other day. The black one with the hot pink splatters and the cut outs. Why would she buy something so ugly?? She needs to stop impulse buying.

Anyway – of course Secret was there and the whole Secret Squad, as we’ll refer to them in these entries. I can barely even write this out it’s so embarrassing. They were all sitting by the ladder of the pool, so she had to walk past them in order to go in. 

Walking past them is one thing, but she actually waved. WAVED!!! Who does that??? She looked Secret in the eye and WAVED with some dumb smile on her face. It was the most cringe thing ever. And then Secret - no doubt feeling bad - waved back. The Secret Squad was even LAUGHING behind their hands. I almost had to feel bad for her, if she wasn’t so stupid for waving in the first place. Why would she do that?? Why would she draw attention to herself like that? She should have just turned right around and gone home when she saw everyone there at the pool.

To make matters worse, she dove into the pool - horrible form - splashing and swimming like an injured frog. Guess who will be crying herself to sleep tonight. Summer can NOT end soon enough.

[baileyrosespinn]

[baileyrosespinn]

aug. 6: the journal

The end of Summer just keeps creeping nearer and nearer. Does anyone ever actually accomplish what they want to? I know for a fact She hasn’t. She does the same thing every year. In June, she sits down at the stupid park down the block and writes out a list of what she wants to do that summer. She always looks so weird with her stupid beat up notebook. Literally has weird drawings all over it, the back cover is ripped and taped over. There’s faded stickers on it from I don’t even know what. I just know she’s embarrassed walking around in public with that journal.

And then she writes in it in her horrible ugly handwriting. And her goals are always the same. “Make a new memory, visit a new place, change my look” all that. As if any of that would happen or even matter if it did. I don’t know what she expects to happen when she just stays in this stupid town all the time wandering around the neighborhood. The stupid park down the block, the public pool, the ice cream shop next to the movie theater that’s been there since, like, FOREVER. 

I don’t know why she expects anything to change when it’s so clear that nothing ever does. 

I know for sure that I’m over this stupid town. I don’t wanna keep wasting my time. I’m so done trying.

[baileyrosespinn]

[baileyrosespinn]

aug. 5: full of secrets

Hi again. Great news - the mall’s air conditioner improved from last summer and it was beautiful there. It’s smart, too. All the stores are having their end-of-summer sales which means the malls are relatively crowded.

Which means… you guessed it. She was there. She was picking out all these tacky new outfits trying to impress Secret. As if anything she wears would ever be good enough anyway. Speaking of Secret… guess who else was at the mall. Yep. Secret and the Secret Squad. They were all talking about the summer fair, so I guess that confirms it. Secret will be in attendance. I bet She’s gonna try extra hard now to get Secret’s attention there. Pathetic. 

If only you could see the outfits she was picking out. And the shoes??? No one would be caught dead wearing what she ended up buying. For sure a waste of money. It’s not like Secret will even look her way anyway. 

She ended up sitting on the balcony with her legs swinging over the edge, untied sneakers dangling below her shoes. Her shoes are so dirty and grungy. No wonder Secret doesn’t look at her. Who would want to?? She just looked so sad and pathetic up there by herself. What a total weirdo.

[baileyrosespinn]

[baileyrosespinn]

aug. 3: gold star loser

I’m beginning to think my headphones are a bit too big and bulky for summer. It’s gotten so hot recently I swear I can feel even my ears sweating. But whatever. It’s not like I’m just gonna stop listening to music. Next joke.

Anyway, you read the date right. The big Number Eight. August. Which signifies the end of summer. There’s something about August that just hits you differently. It’s like… a wave of excitement but also dread. The summer’s ending, but there’s still the last few lingering weeks ahead of you to squeeze everything into. I guess that’s the problem isn’t it? That’s what causes all the pressure. How do you squeeze everything you wanted to do into the final four small weeks? You never do and the disappointment’s so soul crushing. 

I just know for a fact She’s panicking. It’s the same every year with Her. Summer comes and she swears she’s gonna make all these big changes, she’s gonna do something wicked cool, make amazing memories. And then August hits. It’s always fucking August. The realization of “shit… I didn’t do anything.” It’s so clearly obvious what her role in this life is. She’s never the main character, always the runner up. She’s such a joke lol

Meanwhile you open Instagram and this person’s got photos from her family trip to France… eating a crepe in front of the frickin eiffel tower. Whats-her-face has got pictures of her on the beach in a brand new bikini enjoying the hot air, a smile on her face. How do these people get these effortlessly perfect summers??? 

Maybe the end of summer is a good thing though. I don’t know. The end of summer State Fair is coming up in a week. It’s always the biggest event of the year. Everyone in town goes and it’s something you’re supposed to look forward to. They’re adding a new roller coaster this year too called the Passenger. It’s got this double loop halfway through and then zigzags up and shoots you back down. It’s the ride everyone is most looking forward to. And here’s the thing - if you don’t ride it, you might as well write “GOLD STAR LOSER” on your forehead.

Anyway, I saw that… well, let’s just use the name “Secret” in case this journal somehow gets found. Secret is gonna be at the fair… which means everyone else will want to be there. I know for a fact she’ll be there following Secret around, trying to look impressive and get Secret’s attention in some pathetic way. I’ve never known someone more annoying than Her.

Anyway, I’ve gotta go. The air conditioner is desperately calling my name.

[baileyrosespinn]

[baileyrosespinn]

hi...

I have a lot I need to get off my chest.