Essentially Steph

useless updates

[honey-struggles]

I can’t decide whether I’m being stupid deciding I want to make this dress before my holiday at the end of July, when I still have to finish my festival shorts and hopefully re-make the matching top AND the new edition of the frog bag before the festival but that’s not til end of August, so I’d have time post-holiday.

Like I do have enough dresses and summer spending is a bit out of control atm, so could do with not buying the pattern and the fabric… but…

[honey-struggles]

BIG cba today.

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New car!! Hard not to think of it as “Andy’s new car” because I’m not even allowed to drive it until I convert my license (my residency is already 2 years old, so well passed the 6 months I’m allowed to drive with my UK one) and I’m obviously not gunna convert it before I move back, and I have no idea when that even will be. Also not paying anything towards it until then except some petrol.

But yeah, freedom! Gunna pick up my brother from the airport tonight. I am SO READY for a few days off.

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It’s day 1 full period gates unlocked today and I am genuinely scared to sit on anything.

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Had my first 1:1 with my new manager (she’s actually scheduled them regularly, amazing! never had them with R other than the mandatory half-year ones) and she’s keen to put me forward for a promotion! I have good feedback from others and am progressing all my goals which is the evidence u need to collect for one.

Problem is I’m still on the graduate course, and although I’ve finished all the self-guided learning, there is a final in-person event whose date is entirely out of my control, and until I attend that, I can’t get promoted (cry). Promotions only happen once a year, so I really don’t wanna miss this year's chance!

Next week marks my 1-year anniversary with this company, which means 3 years of professional experience. I’m definitely ready to not be a grad. I have emailed the early careers team to a) obtain the date of the final event, and b) see if I can be moved to an earlier cohort given my previous experience so that I can attend that event sooner and hopefully be eligible for this year's promotions.

My manager hinted that she may be able to talk to the national lead and talk about exceptions, but given I’m already asking to move to Spain, I don’t want to be asking for too many special treatments. It would be preferable if either the event is soon (however the programme being across 2 years kinda rings a bell), or I can be bumped up and get it done quickly!

[honey-struggles]

1 step closer to getting a perm… have booked in my pre-appointment where they will assess my head and what’s possible.

I have also bought a leave in peptide hair mask to try and repair any damage because it has been lightened - I think I’ve only done what is currently on my head once, so not like it’s super processed, but I know you’re not meant to bleach and also perm, so just want it to be in the best condition when she assesses it!

My appointment is not until 9th July and I’m worried she won’t have any useful dates available right after to do the actual work, but I can’t exactly book the slot before knowing if she’ll be able to go ahead… maybe I’ll call back and see if they can preemptively do that actually… I’d love to have it before holiday hehehe

[honey-struggles]

Marshmallow for breakfast!!

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My vinted feed has been on fire and I want to buy everything!

I’ve also got more sewing ideas piling up, I just never have time. I’ve been so bad with work lately, having to do extra hours all over the place because of appointments, or taking time to get to Bristol to help my brother move house, or a busy office day where you loose at least 2hrs to interactions with colleagues. But it’s not just an office problem, I struggle to stay on task sometimes anyway which results in me working later because I haven’t got shit done.

This week has been particularly bad for all of the above and I’ve worked late every evening to try and compensate. I even did an hour after the theatre night and drinks at fucking 1am because I had to send my work the next morning.

I really want to sort myself out this week and make sure I’m only working the hours I’m contracted- which means staying focused and productive during that time so I don’t feel the need to stay extra to make up for not getting stuff done.

And if I set good habits, when I get back to the UK and my sewing machine, I can spend my evenings sewing instead of catching up with work! I now want to make a skirt or dress with this delightful fabric I’ve found before holiday in Portugal! (It’s tinned sardine print)

[honey-struggles]

I crave hearing lemonade by m60 since seeing them live almost against my will but somehow it awakens such a deep craving for, I don’t even know what. The memory of hanging out with the boys who adopted me for the rest of the gig, the passion they exuded for the band and all their songs, the spontaneity of a random night, the freedom it represents of my lifestyle here, but above all the way it ties in with my formative music taste which I cherish but mostly don’t add new stuff to anymore, but their stuff fits so perfectly into a little slot left open in my heart.

It’s been in my head all day, and it feels so fitting for how my evening ended to going. Our friends play was brilliant, she’s such a star! And I was sure I’d come home after a cranberry juice rather than a pint, but could not resist spending some quality time with the gang before I’m away for a little while! My heart feels so full!

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This month’s book btw!!

[honey-struggles]

My ultrasound found a simple cyst but it was on the other ovary! I still have pain and also still have lingering UTI bladder pain. I’m gunna have to wait until I am back from Spain to try and book a follow up, and that gives plenty of time to see if either just go away.

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I work with this guy called Vincent and one of the first times I had to speak to him I sent him a teams message saying “Hi Victor!” 😭

I did edit it (hopefully before he read it, but he may well have seen the notification lmao) and I think about it every time we interact, which is usually once every other week.

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Me and Owen went for a couple of drinks this evening, even though it was originally me and Sahema who bumped into each other on the tram and put the idea out, but plans shifted. I almost didn’t go at all but had to post and pick up a parcel anyway so said I’d go for one. Which is always, obviously, two.

We’ve had some good chats lately and I feel like I’ve learned a lot recently, important lore and yeah just nice to connect.

Most of us are going to a play tomorrow evening that our friend is acting in so I’m excited for that!

Also got a little book delivery today including this months tumblr gal book club read - I’m so tired and need to go to bed but can’t resist reading the first page … (s)

[honey-struggles]

Overthinking my ovaries

[honey-struggles]

I dyed a little batch of clothes purple this evening! I don’t have that many clothes in total, and I obviously don’t want everything I own to be the same colour, but I did my favourite pair of white cords (because i stained them) and this free people top that I already have in black and LOVE so wanted another colour. I got it from Vinted in white and once I decided on buying the dye I thought I may as well chuck it in. Also did some socks for fun and my housemate chucked in this old Fjallraven Kanken bag she’d had since school which needed a bit of a revamp — that just came out a new shade of blue, but pretty cool!

I like the colour the trousers came out, and I kinda wish I’d kept the top a bit lighter, but I had to double dip it because it was patchy and also the previous owners sweat patches became visible 😭 so it’s ended up much darker than intended but pretty sure it is still a look. Hoping they dry by the morning as I’d like to wear one item to work!

Unfortunately I can never wear them together because I would look insane, but also, maybe that would be fun. I’ll do it to show you guys at least 😉

[honey-struggles]

Not feeling very confident about the fact that as I pulled my pants back on after the ultrasound, I glimpsed around the curtained cubicle and saw a few of the images still on the screen and there were some point marked up in red. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Have to wait 5 days to get a drs appointment but I'll be away for most of the rest of June so unless they can do Friday I just won't know until July.