Thereâs no way to live in Florida without the outside becoming the inside. Thereâs nothing you can do about it. Spiders and palmetto bugs will get inside no matter how much you spray or what pest company you use. Frogs and lizards will appear in your bed and bathtubs with no explanation. Snakes will somehow make it 200ft into a company building through 3 locked doors. Itâs a mystery.
Walking to your car every morning with an arm raised cautiously in front of you as you go. No itâs not a Nazi salute, youâre preparing to walk through unexpected spider webs. The one day you donât do it is the day you walk into one. That web is easily 6 feet in circumference.
Praying for the day the city finally starts spraying for mosquitoes.
Being that poor asshole that lives in the county where they donât have a budget to spray for mosquitoes.
Driving 45 minutes to an hour one way for work is pretty common. Driving 2 hours one way is not unheard of.
Pretty sure itâs impossible to be more than an hour and a half away from the coast.
Itâs actually 91 degree F outside, feels like 110, and youâre wearing a sweater in your clerical office because they set the A/C to 68. Condensation on building windows is a common occurrence in the summer.
Long-term residents genuinely do not give two fucks about a hurricane unless itâs a category four. Three-hour afternoon squalls can do more damage than a category two. You can drive through a category one and not even realize youâre under an alert until you see the news the next morning.
That feel when youâre new to Florida and driving through an afternoon rainstorm for the first time, and the wipers are on high, youâre doing 20 mph, and you still canât see.
That feel when youâre a long-term resident and some friends from out west come visit and comment on how dark the sky is, and youâre like bitch, thatâs barely gray, does your sky never actually turn black during a rainstorm? There are literally storms that roll through that make it feel like night has fallen at 11 in the morning, itâs terrifying when youâre not used to it.
Seriously everyone in Florida is pretty immune to the idea of death, we walk past it constantly
Of the top 30 cities in the US with the most lightning, Florida has 17 of them.
Florida loves food festivals. In addition to the above mentioned strawberry festival, thereâs also multiple seafood festivals, a peanut festival, giant shiitake mushroom festival, several chocolate festivals, a kumquat festival, a zucchini festival, and festivals for corn, honey, wine, swamp cabbage, sour oranges, pumpkins, tomatoes, catfish, pigs, watermelon, oysters, grapes, flan and a hell of a lot more.
Did I mention palmetto bugs are 2 inch roaches that can fly
gracieabrams
amandla
gummygunk
stormborns
izzy806
andulkaphoto
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
romaincrisis
