Not Ash’s First Choice.... But Still Relevant

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I’ll know I’ve made it when I can buy lunch ables for a meal every day

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The kids who prefered the bruised parts of the banana are serial killers now

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Me when I first joined tumblr: so... where are the fandoms... 🤔

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I asked this guy if he knew what Tom Houston’s was and he said “isn’t that the guy who wrote the series of unfortunate events”

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I posted this at like 1 in the morning and I meant to say Tim Hourton’s.

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I asked this guy if he knew what Tom Houston’s was and he said “isn’t that the guy who wrote the series of unfortunate events”

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When you’re walking towards someone in a hallways and u both step to go around each other in the same way then step the other way at the same time too and suddenly you’re playing basketball with each other

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It’s... it’s a cashew

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Me: *doesnt have anything due, nothing wrong, nothing coming up*

My brain: *sadness*

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Patient: Doc am I going to be ok?

Me: depends

Patient: on what?

Me: if you live

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Like be manga

(Read this backwards)

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I literally read this as

me: okay sir yes sir

my cat: lamonade

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If u had a room in ur house that u put mushrooms in it u could call it ur mush-room

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Can’t say goopiness without saying goo penis

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Why does YouTube keep your dislikes videos? Like? Am I gunna wanna go back and watch them again??

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CloTheS arE huMan peEls the sAme aS bAnAna peAls aRe cLOthEs to bAnaNAs

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What if when we’re awake we’re really dreaming and when we’re dreaming we’re really awake

Source(http://vm.tiktok.com/dD3DEx/)

[balbasor]

2 completely different conversations, ending in the exact same way