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a python because something something the duality of the serpent's image in Christianity and Gnosticism yadda yadda yadda and a hare because evil hares look cool
being manipulated into place against the trembling strain of your body and fighting to maintain that position under the appraising eyes of the man who put you there. unbearably sexy rope bottoming scene without any of the rope. just eyes and hands.
um so quick question you do know that the world isn’t divided into People Blindly Accepting Of Gender Roles and Smart Trans Ppl. the world isn’t divided into People In Romantic Relationships and Single Aros. the world isn’t divided into People Who Socialize Easily and Oppressed Autistics. the world isn’t divided into Enlightened Queer People and Stupid Misogynists. like you are aware of this ? i hope you are aware of this
Thank you @attackdogz for letting me use your incredible fic "i will roam if you say roam" in the second drawing! Can't wait to see how this story unfolds!
This is weird and im bad at making comics and im bad at writing dialogue and im scared to post this but i put a ton of work into it so WHATEVRR. Bbkaz snake eaterrr
^^ This side profile is the best thing ive ever drawn actually
Bonus boss i drew when trying to figure out how i would want to draw him
+another bonus doodles of myself
I really like these because i focused more on drawing them how i like rather than making them as on model as possible hashtag cute
added a graphic to elaborate on the specifics of what i’m trying to say.
basically, everybody changes all the time for all sorts of reasons. don’t let the myth of static selfhood trick you into thinking you’re unworthy. the only way to go is forward, which would be the case no matter what, and that’s okay.
Hello! I have a question 🙋♀️ What do you mean by birth canal? Is it related to how caves are often metaphors for wombs in art or something else altogether?
haiii 🙋 so it is one part of the whole thing, caves have been noted as having a womb-like Thing to them not just in art but also um. in general
(those are not painted caves, just normal caves. Well "normal" you know how Nutty Putty is. fun fact second one used to a sanctuary to Artemis, now is used as adjacent to a sanctuary to Mary-Magdelene, and women who want kids bring eggs or little figurines. we on some uterine shit)
but I mostly meant in mythology. okay so in cave art interpretation[grabs your ankle] stay here. this is interesting. so in cave art interpretation we're actually kind of stumped and we've been stumped for decades. the interpretations are many, but none is really truly fully applicable to all, or even to many, and the various interpretations come with seven billion caveats ("hunting magic" interpretation? -> likely not, because painted fauna ≠ hunted fauna *possible exception? southern african rock art, because there still exist hunter-gatherers who are carrying myths and memories associated with the rock art, but pre/proto-historic hunter-gatherers ≠ contemporary ones, but they're a good interpretative source still; "shamanic transe" interpretation? -> likely not, as we do have rock art done in shamanic transes such as in north america and they're very formally different from European cave art, and you likely would not have been able to draw with such attention to proportions etc while zoinked out of your gourd, but "not drawn in a shamanic transe" ≠ "not drawn in a shamanic context, or by a shaman, or within a shamanic society"...)
However☝️ one of the newer interpretations, which takes into account the placement of the figures[I am still holding you firmly not letting you leave], is that european cave art, at least in Some very prominent instances, could have been made in the context of a cosmogonic myth of Cave Of The Origins (cf. Jean-Loïc Le Quellec, who I'm sure I've mentioned before). okay now this is truly a Everything Looks Like A Nail situation. once you're mildly aware of this theory Everything Looks Like A Cave Of The Origins. it is one of the few basic foundational myths of humanities (basically of all the How Did We Get Here myths of all cultures, you have plenty, but they actually all derive from a handful of bases), that all creatures on earth were born of Hole In Ground. Hole In Ground is the primordial Mother of everything. (hence... one could say... the proliferation of Mother-Earth goddesses). as such, cave art in some instances COULD be articulated around the function of describing/transmitting/expressing the myth of Cave Of Origins/Mother Hole-In-Ground. And for context, what made me write the post is this 👇 general disposition of the Lascaux cave
looks fucked doesn't it. it's tears-pulling irl. anyways you're noticing the Passageway + the rocky crop, and that's we're focusing on. if I were to give my own interpretation of it. and it just an interpretation. fed by and built upon what I've already learned and read about both Lascaux and cave art as a whole. If I were to interpret it in a crazy way. and my sibling in Cave I'm insane. this is what I'd do of it.
I won't lie to you when you're in the Bull Room and you have the Passageway in your sights I will not lie to you that shit looking like () with a visible Hole where the rocky outcrop/upside-down/dead horse is I'm not lying. hence I why believe Some Level of Birth Canal symbolism could be true AND real in there. And I am building my case with in mind the interpretations, that scientists made from studying the order in which were painted the animal, that the animals are painted in order and with the attributes of the season of their heat period, meaning lascaux Could be a transcript/expression of a myth/story of the cycles of seasons, and as such life and rebirth.
I'll say it ☝️ I find it less Birth Canaly than Niaux, where the experience is truly like this
Michel Lorblanchet also mentions how the progression of the realism of the figures the closer you get the entrance of Pergouset cave leans to him credibility to the conceptualization of the cave as, if not a mother-type, some kind of "pre-life" state, where the further from the light creatures are the more amorphous, chimeric, "unfinished", etc they are, and become more and more realistic as they come close to the light/outside world, and this shift towards realism is marked by
That's right.
And where are you before you are born? There exactly.
Tldr
Oh my fucking god dude didn't mean to make it this long. but it was such a nice trip we took together isn't it :)
I have a sinking feeling about Qifrey and where his story is headed.
MASSIVE spoilers and maybe slightly long-winded theorizing below the cut.
I believe quite certainly that Qifrey intends to reveal the complete truth to Olruggio very soon, and that while he seems to be accepting his fate, he is trying to maintain as much control over the terms of his inevitable end as possible.
Following the events of Chapter 88, after he reveals his nature as a Silverwood host to Coco, he asks to postpone his complete confession, wishing to be able to reveal the truth elsewhere, in a peaceful place beneath a wide open sky where his roots would have room to comfortably grow. He has described the land around the atelier in this way many times before.
Later, when the entire group is finally reunited and Olruggio tells Qifrey they’re going home. Qifrey’s expression looks pained for a moment, before he answers, “Alright then. Let's go home. Our atelier awaits."
His verbal recognition of the atelier as his home is a rather glaring signal that he is beginning to accept his imminent end and has chosen the atelier as his ideal final resting place. This is hinted at early on in a sequence during which Beldaruit spoke to Riliphin of the Silverwoods, and implied that he knew of Qifrey’s condition as he privately worried that his beginning to think of the atelier as his home could be dangerous for him.
At a point during their journey home, we return to the group to find the girls all asleep, while Qifrey has distanced himself from the rest, sitting on the bank of a lake to write in his book. Olruggio joins him and points out how far he’s sitting from the fire.
I think this was probably intentional in an effort to be closer to the lake to keep himself anxious, since it is my personal theory that here, Qifrey is actually writing a letter to Olruggio in which he tells him the entire truth, and that the narration through the next arc is comprised of excerpts from that letter. The lake is intended to be a failsafe of sorts, since of course, we know that vocalizing the truth to Olly is Qifrey’s greatest comfort trigger, while water touching his skin is his biggest anxiety trigger. Given this, it makes sense for him to choose this particular spot to begin to release the truth so he has a means of keeping the Silverwood at bay readily available should he need it, which he evidently does later on.
In the segments that follow, Qifrey reminisces on how he and Olruggio crossed paths at the Great Hall and became close.
Through the end of chapter 91, we watch the story unfold neutrally as though it is happening in real time, with no narration, but in chapter 92, something shifts. As soon as Qifrey’s recount reaches the part of the story that would have been lost to Olruggio’s memory, a past-tense narrator voice begins to cut in, and suddenly, it becomes clear this story is being told to someone, not merely recalled, and not just to anyone, but to Olruggio by Qifrey. This is the strongest evidence that what we’re reading is actually the contents of a letter to Olruggio.
All of this indicates to me that Qifrey is not just reminiscing, but is actively preparing for the end. The telling of the story, the physical and emotional distance Qifrey has put between himself and the others, and his now repeated framing of the atelier as both home and the kind of place where he would want to be forever, are all supportive of that.
As far as we know, Qifrey hasn’t been the one to initiate a full confession since they were kids at the Tower of Tomes. Spilling his guts in a letter written under duress is probably a new tactic, and it’s a smart one, as it ensures Qifrey can get the complete truth out on his terms without the usual interruption from the Silvertree.
We also know that Qifrey would rather die than have his transformation hurt the people he loves, so at this point, I wouldn't put it past him to leave the letter at home where the others will find it before going off to trigger his transformation alone, or waiting until the others are gone to trigger it.
This is what has me especially worried for him now, because Olruggio and the girls just left the atelier, leaving Qifrey there by himself. Maybe I'm projecting (probably), but the thought of Qifrey leaving a note and then going off to essentially kill himself makes my stomach hurt. Painfully though, it does feel in character, especially now that he's vocalized his trust in his students, particularly Coco, to carry on his mission. Olruggio, please go home now, your husband is an active danger to himself!!
Fortunately, Hiehart and Jujy pay the atelier a visit, but even upon greeting them, he does already seem on edge and uncharacteristically down.
Hopefully, whatever Hiehart has to say will get Qifrey out of his head and convince him to keep living for a little while longer. I'm guessing he's going to ask Qifrey to take on Jujy as his apprentice. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Anyways. To conclude, here is Qifrey’s directed narration/possible excerpts from a letter to Olruggio compiled:
Every day I turned my gaze away from the encroaching dread, and for as long as I was in the dark, I was happy. I greeted each morning with excitement, for with the rise of the sun came another adventure with you. I thought if I could retrieve the past I lost, my joy would be as genuine as yours, and perhaps I would have a real chance to share in your happiness. A child can dream. Like ordinary boys, we would share our visions of tomorrow with each other and we would laugh at how far away it all seemed.
Little did I know that felicity came with forgetting. It was a bliss born of ignorance. If I knew what I was… If I knew that I was never meant to be saved, I would've stayed far away from you, the sky’s kindest, most radiant star.
I once read an old poem that likened stars to boats sailing through the sky. But as far as I know, boats don’t twinkle like stars. The light doesn’t come from the vessel itself, but its guiding torch. Like your pyreball, it burns at the bow. A beacon of light in the dark.
After that fateful day, you would uncover my secret again and again. Each time you would respond with disbelief. Then your face would twist and turn in anguish. And after biting back a few words, you would show me grace, and comfort me and forgive me for lying to you. And then, without fail, the Silverwood’s roots would grow. You would offer me the same path back every time, and I would take it, adding to my mess of sins.
I had often considered leaving your side. I thought that perhaps traveling alone would save me from taking away your memories. But even that minute solace was enough for the Silverwood. I knew then that distance would do nothing but break my promise to you.
So I had another thought: A master never wants for worry with apprentices to look after. The selfishness behind my reason for taking on pupils made me ill, but they’d never have to know that. So I decided to put every fiber of my being toward becoming a good educator. If only I had known then what a joy it truly is to watch your students grow with each passing day.
It’s somewhat rare for a Silverwood to take root in people. Unlike animals, they tend to hold onto too much anxiety. Which is why the tree planted in Custus that gave him his legs raises some questions. My right eye was the only one to sprout during the experiments. It must have some connection to the Silverwood in Custas. For so long, I thought I was the only host, but now I'm not so sure. There could be more victims out there than I ever imagined.
Did I make the right choice?
Would it have been better to throw everything aside and hunt down the brimmed caps?
Doubts like these turn in my head, but the moment I see my atelier, I remember.
This is where my heart is. This is where I want to be.
btw there’s a famous record of John Cage reading this story and others with David Tudor playing piano and providing tape accompaniment: Indeterminacy. It’s a classic, as a recording one of Cage’s most influential
This is back on my dash! And listen, I love to see Amir Khusrau getting appreciation, but this translation ignores a lot. The original rhymes! And scans! And does playful things with register! And conveys a tone of affectionate banter between the two speakers, not least because it has them both addressing each other as sakhi (translated above as “girl”) in the last two lines. I think taking some liberties with line order is worth it to preserve more of the rest—and I think there’s a better translation of sakhi. And so:
He only visits once a year,
I splurge big on him when he’s here,
His kisses make my tastebuds tango.
Who, bitch, your man?
Nah, bitch, a mango.
