FROM MY HEART AND FROM MY HAND

dm for new url ^_~

[bandaidworld]

my eyes are so heavy but im too anxious to sleel any more

[bandaidworld]

i slept for abojt 2 hours

[bandaidworld]

i feel way too paralysed to even sleep i guess i will have to wait till 7 when everyone's gone and hopefully conk out on pm meds

[bandaidworld]

i cant explain it properly but this shit has basically reactivated the same trauma in my head from what my mom and another man used to do to me regarding repeat violations of my privacy as when i was younger and its absolutely killing me because of the stress of not knowing whats happening or if im going to be in a similar situation again (these are connected things i just cant really say how well) just has me panicking the exact same way i used to feel which is really just the worst thing on the whole planet i never thought id be feeling this way again

[bandaidworld]

i feel like im being mistreated but im not sure

[bandaidworld]

im so glad i dont work today im a wreck

[bandaidworld]

i feel like im genuinely gonna be sick over this

[bandaidworld]

i just dont understand in 7+ years of knowing this person weve talked all the time and they've never just ignored me for days before i dont understand at all and i dont know whether i should be looking into a well check on their house or if i should be getting some sort of message from all this that they dont like me anymore? like im just so confused and i feel overbearing and clingy but i just want to know wtf is going on because im so worried

[bandaidworld]

i cant sleep i want to poke my eyes out

[bandaidworld]

hopefully thats all the fuss u guys will get out of me tonight im really just struggling :(

[bandaidworld]

i just have too much going on rn in terms of finances / the fun emotional burden of someone u talked to everyday for years just deciding to stop speaking to u / im still in some serious pain after the wreck and i feel like im going just crazy

[bandaidworld]

sometimes my only good reason for not just driving my car off a bridge in despair or some shit is i dont really want to pollute or litter any bodies of water or hurt any fish or anything. and i guess theres no reason to waste a functioning vehicle :/ :\

[bandaidworld]

i think theres something powerful and cherishable about the fact that i am pre everything and can still register as 'sir' to 80% of the customers that call out to me even while wearing earrings.

[bandaidworld]

this is possibly the most unfunny post on this website rn and i feel like ive seen it 100 times this week

[bandaidworld]

please look at these salad spinners. in the middle, is a display. its unpackaged and has a tag on it. on the bottom is where you grab the one u want, in the packaging. on the top, so far that i cant even reach it is dominance, where theyre untagged but unpackaged, so people who are perhaps far away can see these spinners, and say hey i want one and come over. GUESS where the one in my hands belongs

[bandaidworld]

alao i cant tell if im slowly being ghosted or not and im 😞

[bandaidworld]

honestly dis shit sucks because. i have bad whiplash like my head and neck hurt so bad but i feel like i cant even hurt about it because the collision was My fault 😭