Gay and Tired

Psychologist with attachment issues and who is a piece of shit ✌️

[cappyclementine]

Heard the quaker oats guy is running a fuck a fan contest!

[charl0ttan]

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[rememberthismeme]

[ubercharge]

[lovesongs4robots]

environmental storytelling

[patronsaintofweepingmothers]

"hello!!" (2007), pastafrollah

[strawberry-crocodile]

*horny* i need to jack off but im at worrrrk *suddenly serious* it should be legal to jerk off at work *horny again* but we're all gonna pretend its not so its still exciting

[mrsterlingeverything]

It is thursday morning. Visualize yourself as the marble, the chisel, and the untrained sculpter who just tried methamphetamine

[vermimorph]

[rivertigo]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

fruday night lets go wild lets go crazy and lose our minds so we don't even know who we are anymore

[mrsterlingeverything]

Lets let friday get us pregnant and have a baby that lasts the whole weekend

[fuckyoubaker]

I AM RARELY DISSAPOINTED

[razerbackbitch]

[plaguedocboi]

Incorrect sayings that I use so often I’ve almost forgotten that they’re not the originals:

I have bigger fish to fight

We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it

You can lead a horse to water, but if you drown it you have to walk home

Opening a can of whales

You made your bed, now shit in it

Combining the latter two into the phrase “you opened this can of whales, now lie in it”

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

hottest thing a guy can do is know the name of every mountain you point to in the distance. and have sad eyes

[sunburnt-brian]

[kittensnax]