Emotionally Empty

[seventypounds]

Ana Couch

I need an ana coach honestly. someone how will be very strict with me. message me if you want.

[monsterwearingmyskin]

It’s starting to get worse again, and I don’t know how to deal with this kind of life anymore. I lie to everybody I love because I could never explain the pain I have to deal with. I don’t know who I am anymore!

(via monsterwearingmyskin)

[barelyexists]

Let's get talkin' !!

Send me a message (:

[barelyexists]

[barelyexists]

Hey my beautiful followers. I know tumblr has messages where you can ask people questions anonymously but I just thought if there is anyone out there interested in a fast way to get a reply just click on the link above and I will respond straight away. Whether it's family problems, friends, relationships, or your just feeling down and need someone to talk to then feel free to ask whatever you want. There is also a 'ask anonymously' button if you don't want me to know who you are, so get typing and ask me anything (:

[ashleeeyyyyx3]

One day you’re going to see her holding hands with someone who took your chance. She won’t even notice you because she’s too busy laughing with the stupid jokes he makes. And it will burn your heart seeing that beautiful smile on her face and realizing that you’re not the reason anymore. And then it will finally hit you: it was her, it was always her.

(via c-oquetry)

[barelyexists]

Is it worth it??

Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, Is it really worth it? Family, friends, money...Love. Family grow older, they move on, have families of their own. Friends stab you in the back. No matter how much money you have, it can't make you happy. And love...we'll love rips you into pieces. It tears at your heart and waits for you too bleed. Trying to come up for air but it pulls you deeper. Love...drowns you.

[somethinglikelan]

[barelyexists]

I'm terrible right now. Don't even know it fucking anything can't do anything can't even describe this right now

Hey im sorry, i havent been on tumblr for sooo long and im not sure how long ago you wrote this. Are you ok??

[barelyexists]

Hows Everyone?

Hello my lovely followers!

Just updating that everything is good with me,

Im applying for a part time job tomorrow. My amazing man hasnt left me yet after the hell iv put him through so thats always a good sign!!

Everyday im finding new things to fall in love with!

How is each and every one of you?? Would love to hear back from you all (:

[barelyexists]

am i dead yet?

As my day went by the pain got worse fighting all the time all i ever do is try, i gave in to my demons as i swallowed the last pill hoping i wouldnt wake so everyones life culd begin, i dont remember much my thoughts slipping away opening my eyes as im drinking thick black goo, so sad to be alive.

[barelyexists]

As Sadness Fades, Evil Surrounds Me

I feel happy. I meet some1 tht makes me laugh. I feel good inside. Im nt hungry anymore so iv lost weight. People tel me im looking to skinny. They lecture me i need to eat more. Theyr suprised as the numbers on the scales go dwn. They think i need help. Something dies...and another is re-born.

[barelyexists]

The Cycle of Depression

You come to a point in your life where you just want it to be over, you go to commit suicide but get caught, then get sent to a mental ward for two weeks. Professionals come in and out of your room trying to talk to you and find out whats wrong. Your medication gets increased 3 times the amount you had before. You meet some cool people...and some crazy ones too. You even get a new diagnosis you didn't know you had.

Then by the end of two weeks you feel a little better and start to think 'hmm maybe that was my low and now im going to be alright'. You finally get to leave the ward and you feel confident about how things are going to change. You quit your course, move houses, towns. The first week you feel good since your not stuck in a room for 24 hours a day.

But as time goes on and the weeks go by, you start feeling low again. You start doubting yourself, sleep turns into none, you feel tired, become withdrawn and feel depressed about everything. And soon enough, the thoughts of suicide re-enter your mind...

And the cycle starts again...

[barelyexists]

[scarssandcuts]

[rocambolesca]

[barelyexists]

IM FREE!!

SO after spending 15 days in the inpatient ward i am finally out! After all that trouble of helping me get back on track with my life have failed miserably. I think the only good things that came out of it was getting the right medication for me, being diagnosed borderline, and meeting some cool people, or as i like to call them, my 'mental friends'. 

Things are going to be tough from here on out, especially since i dont have someone checking on me every 15 minutes, 24 hours a day! The world suddenly seems so big to me now. Staying positive. I hope things will change for me. But if not, at least ill still have my friends in the mental ward! :p

Hope everyone is doing okay xx