Jacob Barnes

I write about the truth in humanity and the lies we tell our self's. This is how i see the world and the people that in habit it.

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

You've got to admit i make misery look pretty damn good.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

I know if i can live through this i can survive anything.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

Music fills my ears, Words flow through my pen, and thoughts of you rule my mind.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

Why be happy?

Being miserable is much more interesting.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

I can't say i love you because everyone i loved I've lost, and i can't bare to lose you. Not yet anyways.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

You say i'm addicted to being unhappy, i say i know my place.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

The truth is i am a deeply unhappy person. Writing is my peace of mind, cigarettes are what keep me moving, and music. Music does the rest.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

I know you are hurt, I've felt that pain. You can can do what i did, and put up walls, build a fortress around your heart, and sure you wont be hurt, but you will isolate the people who love you. or you can open up to everyone; let your love flow like a river, and yes you will get hurt, but i promise you will be better and stronger for it.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

There is a question i can't seem to find an answer to; did it mean nothing, or did it mean everything?

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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For Brett (because i need you to know)

I am starting a collection of poems called: for Brett (because i need you to know). I will be posting two a day for the next 19 days, and i'll see where i go from there. These are all for a book i am starting work on, i hope you enjoy them.

-Jake 

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I Lost You

I’ve been smoking until my stomach is sick; walking until my shoes fall off my feet.

I’ve been filling pages with the falsehoods that i can only seem to write; like everything i do is close but too far away to matter.

I’m convinced that the lies i’ve been telling myself haven’t really been lies but rather the truth i’ve created for myself, that every cigarette i smoke isn’t slowly killing me; but giving me life.

You have always been the knife slowly turning inside me; i feel with each page i write you are some how farther away from me then you were before. that you are always two steps ahead and that i'll never catch up. i've been walking but i haven't even left my home. so ive been tearing out those pages, and discarding every fragment. giving away my cigarettes, hoping that i can stop this endless cycle of would be, and won’t ever be. to get a step ahead so that i can finally catch up with you.

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You Trust Me

You have put your faith in me, you have put your heart in my hands. Nothing has scared me like this does. I fear that you miss judged my kindness, that you have put me on a pedestal that's crumbling beneath my feet, that i am like like a black-hole and will bring you closer and closer Until, when you trust me most, i will crush you and destroy everything you love. This is my fear, that i will break your heart. But i haven't yet, and i will break every bone in my body trying to avoid it.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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Unpredictable Beauty

Everything is changing, but it may stay the same. I could meet the love of my life in a parking lot, or be left behind by everyone i know. I could be murdered in my sleep, or be given the life i have. This is the unpredictability of life. Most ignore it; others except it; and some make the greatest use of the time they're given, and take great strides for no other reason then to try.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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Absolute Zero

I have frozen in time, i have stopped moving and will never start again. I have reached absolute zero, and shall never live again.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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The Thief

Like a thief in the night you came into my heart and gathered all the good inside of me. And when i awoke, i saw you at the foot of my bed with every long forgotten part of my self that makes me good, and you simply said "this is why i love you"

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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History Books

Am i destined to be lost in between the lines of history books? Or can i rise above the others around me, and in one hundred they will devote volumes to my wisdom.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)

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To Those Brave Enough To Try

To those who love with their whole heart, who do not fear love and the pain that often comes with it. You are truly brave. But i lack the courage to be like you, i have never fully recovered from the last time. And i doubt that i ever will. But then again, i'm not sure i want time to heal these wounds.

-Jake Barnes (barnes-jake.tumblr.com)