Barney Peanuts

It's hard to sit still...very hard. [Rp Account]

[barneypeanuts-blog]

And then he says to me "that's not a bush! That's my wife!"

[jackkellystories]

Have you ever seen David drunk?

No, I don’t think Dave really drinks. Les ain’t against a sip of beer here and there, though, even though he’s not supposed to be allowed. I told him not to, so I did my part.

Being a good influence is really hard, but I’m trying.

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Why not? You're training this kid to be a successful drinker someday. Train 'em young! That's what I say!

[nothingnothingnothingnothinghere]

David's top 10 things about Bumlets!

1. He knows how to be quiet for more than five seconds at a time.

2. He never seems like he’s about to get himself killed.

3. Seriously. He never seems like he’s about to get himself killed. He somehow makes spinning on a ceiling fan seem safer than Jack seems when he’s just walking down the street.

4. He’s self assured.

5. Something about him makes David want to stare at him, but he doesn’t like that.

6. When he catches David staring, he always smiles at him, then goes about his business.

7. Bumlets is nice to younger newsies.

8. He doesn’t tell wild exaggerated stories.

9. Sometimes his hair

10. And the way he… Actually David barely notices him!! Disregard this list.

11. You know who David does notice? Her name is Raquellinna Violet Le Sunrise. She is Kid Blink’s sister, but shhhh, that’s a secret. They are very long lost and estranged, her and Blink. She has cerulean eyes like the sea, and curls of shimmering gold. She’s good at time traveling, and pretending to be a boy when she wants to sell newspapers, since girls aren’t allowed. Unfortunately, she lives in Canada.

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Luna, if people made a list about me that hurt my feelings, would you stand up for me?

Not saying that it hurt Bumlets’ feelings but…would ya?

[brooklyn-luna]

Of course, Barney, you’re my pal!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Gee, thanks Lu! I'd do the same for you! In a heartbeat!

[nothingnothingnothingnothinghere]

David's top 10 things about Bumlets!

1. He knows how to be quiet for more than five seconds at a time.

2. He never seems like he’s about to get himself killed.

3. Seriously. He never seems like he’s about to get himself killed. He somehow makes spinning on a ceiling fan seem safer than Jack seems when he’s just walking down the street.

4. He’s self assured.

5. Something about him makes David want to stare at him, but he doesn’t like that.

6. When he catches David staring, he always smiles at him, then goes about his business.

7. Bumlets is nice to younger newsies.

8. He doesn’t tell wild exaggerated stories.

9. Sometimes his hair

10. And the way he… Actually David barely notices him!! Disregard this list.

11. You know who David does notice? Her name is Raquellinna Violet Le Sunrise. She is Kid Blink’s sister, but shhhh, that’s a secret. They are very long lost and estranged, her and Blink. She has cerulean eyes like the sea, and curls of shimmering gold. She’s good at time traveling, and pretending to be a boy when she wants to sell newspapers, since girls aren’t allowed. Unfortunately, she lives in Canada.

[jackkellystories]

1. Why would anybody want to be quiet for more than five seconds at a time?

2. Nobody ever wants to kill him because he’s too boring. 

3. Maybe Bumlets is too boring to appreciate the magical obstacle course that is lower Manhattan. That’s why he never puts himself in jeopardy. Have you thought about that one, Dave?  

4. He’s self assured. He’s BORING, is what he is. 

5. Go ahead and stare at him, Dave. Do it at night, when you want to fall asleep. Watching that guy is better than any sedative ever invented. 

6. He smiles a boring smile and goes about his boring business as boringly as possible. 

7. Yeah, because being mean to them would be interesting. And we couldn’t have that now, could we, Bumlets? 

8. Bumlets told you his wildest, most exaggerated stories, but they were so boring you didn’t remember them. 

9. Sometimes his hair is boring. 

10. I am disregarding the list, because it’s full of lies. You’re supposed to be the honest one, Dave. What happened? Did Bumlets drive you insane by being boring? 

11. Well, good, Dave. And she can STAY in Canada. Do you know what Canada is? An entire country full of people JUST AS BORING AS BUMLETS. People like Racketina Purple La Bathtub Moonshine, or whatever you said her name was. They don’t have any wars, because they’re too boring. They don’t have any strikes, because they’re too boring. They’re too busy time traveling and curling their hair - BORING. 

[mischief-lorelli-blog]

Oh, Jacky boy. Obviously you are drowning in David’s blue eyes (ew) because you are blind…and stupid. I think you were born with stupid, though. 

1. Bumlets is only quiet because you and the walkin’ mouth over there won’t let him talk. If you actually did, you’d probably find out how charming he is, when he’s not spewing out false compliments to broads that look as though they tumbled out of the trash bin.

2. Killing? Wow, Jacky boy. Apparently you’re more like your father than you thought. How is he, anyway? Still pining for Santa Fe behind metal bars? Why don’t you paint him a picture? May ease his “troubled mind.”

3. He doesn’t know what trouble is? I’m pretty sure I introduced myself to him a long time ago. He knows what trouble is. He just knows how to handle it better than you…by not getting caught. 

4. You keep reiterating “boring.” He’s self-assured. He knows what he wants (most of the time) and has a clever way of getting it without getting a bloody nose. 

5. Are people supposed to be interesting when they sleep? What does Davey do while he sleeps, Cowboy? Obviously you watch a lot of boys while they sleep.

6. Do you sell more papes because you’re blind? I heard that’s a great attribute to have when you’re a newsie. When Bumlets smiles, women melt. I’ve cleaned up more puddles in front of my store because of it. Why do you think he gets free licorice whips from my store? With one smile he can break your heart…oh, is that what happened? He broke your heart? I’m so sorry.

7. I hate kids. He knows it. He’s nice to them because he can tolerate the whiny snot-nosed brats. Don’t see how it’s boring. Being mean to children is easy. It gets boring after a while.

8. Did Bumlets ever tell you the time that we helped this boy see this dame because her father wouldn’t allow her to? Did he tell you that we took a carriage and crashed it to make a distraction? Luna had to stitch us up after…ask her if ya don’t believe me. There was also the time when…I shouldn’t say it.

9. His hair. His hair. Unlike yours, which looks as though you’re sweating constantly or got some sort of sticky substance in it (I’m looking at you, David), his blows in the wind. It’s fun to play with because it’s so soft and nice. 

10. Lies? Hmmm…you smell that? That smells like jealousy.

11. Who?

Hmmm…maybe you’re right, maybe Bumlets is boring. Perfection can be boring…

[brooklyn-luna]

Ah, lay off him Mis. Jealousy can be an unpleasant thing but keep standing by your man. Not everyone has the capacity to appreciate decent fellas.

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Luna, if people made a list about me that hurt my feelings, would you stand up for me?

Not saying that it hurt Bumlets' feelings but...would ya?

[barneypeanuts-blog]

 The smell of roasted peanuts and the loud organ could be heard if anyone placed an ear to Barney's head. The tenant house was probably annoyed with him sliding down banisters and whistling songs that were notably heard at the circus or on the street by an organ grinder. Barney was proud to say that he knew most of the tunes and could sing any one of them, even if it's off key.

As soon as he knew his mother was asleep, he opened the window and stepped out into the humid air. It was too nice a night to stay indoors and sleep early. Who needed sleep anyway? Barney had infinite energy and most people would kill to have such a thing. At least, that's what the inhabitants of the tenant house said. It usually was accompanied by rolling eyes and a shudder.

He fixed his hat and started down the street. He knew where he was going. Poker night in the old abandoned orphanage. There was word that it was haunted, but Barney believed that if there were ghosts they were just children and harmless. In any rate, he never saw one.

Whistling a happy tune with a spring in his step as he turned the corner to cut through the alley. “Hallelujah I'm a bum!” He sang happily before whistling the second verse.

[shellyconlon]

Not all I can eat but there’s four in this basket some nice lady left for me at my booth!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Can I have one...

[shellyconlon]

I got hot dogs! Lots of hot dogs! Yum yum yum!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

All you can eat for free?

[kiteevans]

It is for mine at least. My hair is usually covered with soot, grease, dirt, and yes sometimes even horse dung. I can’t imagine having to shave my head! It suits you more than it would suit me.

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Were we separated at birth?

[kiteevans]

I tend to be a magnet for that stuff. I love horses and love being around them but it turns out their dung loves being around me as well. I think I’ve mastered the art of washing it out of my hair.

[barneypeanuts-blog]

It's an art to wash your hair? I thought I was smart by shaving my head because of lice...

[kiteevans]

Oh could you?! I love doing cartwheels at the park but the last time I ended up landing on horse dung. I don’t think tumbling would ever be my thing. But juggling sounds fun!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Yeah, it's not a problem! Horse dung, huh? You sound like you got some life.

[kiteevans]

Oh my! That’s right you perform for the circus!! I saw you selling papers and doing your acts and everything! I wish I could do that but I’d probably break my neck instead!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Almost broke mine a few times...but I could teach you how to do a cartwheel or something...or juggle. I can teach you to juggle.

[kiteevans]

I’m sorry you got beat up. Knowing when it’s gonna rain is not the same as being psychic. It’s not your fault. So you’ve broken your arm before too? What happened?

[barneypeanuts-blog]

It's no big deal. She does that sometimes...she felt terrible when I got soaked. 

I broke my arm tumbling. I've broken my arm and both my legs, a few fingers, wrists...it's all part of the job. 

[kiteevans]

It’s not a weird question. When it’s rainy or about to rain, it’s more of a buzz than a tingle but when it’s cold it does ache a little more. It used to be bothersome but I got used to it. It’s better than having my arm chopped off that’s for sure!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

I thought I was the only one!

My pal Mischief told me it was because I was psychic and should make a career out of it. I ended up getting beat up for false predictions.

[kiteevans]

Those gnomes do like getting drunk too!

I think I’ve been conked on the head too many times to count, working at the factory and all. And I broke an arm once.

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Weird question. When it rains, does the arm the you broke kinda tingle? Or right before it rains?

[kiteevans]

Well… yeah! They live under trees and make your garden grow really nice and sometimes they’re just lonely and want a bigger friend to hang out with. I think clubbing on the head is a sign of affection. You’re a nice guy I think they’d like you. How else would you have no idea how you got somewhere and a headache to go with it?!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

...because I was drunk? If there are such a thing as pleasantly violent gnomes, I'd like to meet them...How many times have you been conked on the head?

[kiteevans]

Oh if you do see them please don’t hurt them! I’m sure they didn’t mean it! They’re just looking for some friends and sometimes they’re so small and so weird looking all they can do is club you on the head and spend some time with you! Well I haven’t met one yet but they sound really cute!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

I don't think anyone who hits you on the head just to spend time with you are sane. They could just ask! I'm a nice guy--wait...gnomes? Are we really talking about gnomes?

[kiteevans]

I read a story about little gnomes that would knock you on the head and take you away!

[barneypeanuts-blog]

Those gnomes...they don't know what's comin' to them...