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@barvk-khazad
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Hello I’m here to talk about an opinion that isn’t so much unpopular because people don’t like it, but because it is splitting hairs and basically an argument based in semantics that sane people reasonably do not waste their time caring about it.
I am neither sane nor reasonable and therefore think about this a lot, and get ready to pull out a soapbox and type the Text Wall of China any time I hear people offhandedly contradict this opinion, and so I have come here today to die on this molehill, and write the over-long post of my dreams, because fuck it, it’s my blog.
Drumroll please:
Sauron is not The Lord of the Rings
The Lord of the Rings is the main antagonist though, so furthermore,
Sauron is not the main antagonist of The Lord of the Rings
I internally go insane every time someone says “Sauron, the eponymous Lord of the Rings” or “The antagonist never actually appears in Lord of the Rings” or uses Lord of the Rings as an penultimate example of having a flat ‘evil for evil’s sake’ villain. This is mostly in YouTube videos so I’m not calling out anyone here.
So who is the Lord of the Rings? Where do I get this shit? Why should anyone care?
I will tell you in far too much detail under this cut, because I told you I was gonna be extra about it and this is already long enough to inflict on my followers without their consent.
so… you’re telling me when frodo moved out of bag end it was public knowledge that he was bringing sam with him? i mean i know that they needed a cover story to disguise the fact that they were leaving with the ring but from the perspective of the other hobbits frodo the lifelong bachelor known for being a bit ~unusual~ decided to move back to his hometown and bring his “gardener” and fellow bachelor with him? cmon man
The Lord of the Rings + Tumblr Text Posts
Part 2
“You’ll have to toss me, but don’t tell the Elf!” ~Gimli
This drawing felt like forever! Gosh how much I hate drawing beard and then there’s also this pretty much detailed helmet…I’m so happy it’s finally over 😭
How is it going for you my friends @belligerentmistletoe and @dianaprincewonderwoman ?
The Lord of the Rings Memes
ian mckellen directed these movies actually
“Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo”
wait, i just realised that aragorn was in minas tirith during ecthelion’s last ruling years (and was kind of vip, tbh). and you know who was there too, during that time?
baby boromir.
frickin’ baby boromir.
so it seems obvious to me, that aragorn held little boromir in his arms at least once (and probably saw it when nannies changed his diapers).
Aragorn: *sees Boromir arrive in Rivendell* wait is that
Aragorn: it can’t be him. he is a baby
Aragorn: *mental arithmetic* ….oh fuck it is him isn’t it
It’s quite possible that Aragorn held Boromir at both his infancy and his death.
This is fine!
It was all fun and games until that comment
We are all fine
@i-am-the-broken-bride
Guys. Guys. Aragorn probably also met Theoden as a child, too. So… just fucking imagine that shit. Eowyn even says Aragorn went off to war with her grandfather… Aragorn: Gondor calls for aid! Theoden, remembering this dude used to babysit him on occasion and does not want to deal with his disappointed face rn: … and Rohan will answer.
using your unmatched dad energy to guilt the entire world into saving itself
modern au
The Fellowship gets on the topic of their ages one night and Boromir comes to the dawning realization that he has absolutely no idea how old any of his companions are supposed to be at all
Boromir, pointing at the hobbits: I don’t know how your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Legolas and Gimli: I definitely don’t know how either of your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Aragorn: I thought I knew how your age worked but apparently I was wrong
Boromir, pointing at Gandalf: I especially don’t know how your age works
Gandalf: It doesn’t, but carry on
Listen I will die on this hill. I don’t care what it says in the assorted apocrypha, if you go by the Actual Text of LOTR you can make a very good argument that Boromir is the youngest member of the group.
The hobbits are the only ones given official ages in the text, and are between fifty or fifty-one and twenty-nine. Elves and dwarves notoriously age slowly, and Gimli is the offspring of one of Bilbo’s pals, so okay, we’ve established that he’s old enough to call the hobbits young, and Bilbo confirms for them that Aragorn is Pretty Old For A Bigjobs. Gandalf is, of course, eternal.
But we are never given any context for Boromir and Faramir’s ages, except that a) they are humans and, though Sons of Gondor, not much longer lived than most Bigjobs, and b) Faramir is A QuiteYoung Man. I was absolutely convinced, when I read the books as a youngun, that Boromir, being in ‘the flower of manhood’ iirc, was probably between 25 and 30.
And it would be Freaking Hilarious, okay, for Boromir to finally get around to actually asking how old this baby-faced hobbit carrying The Ring is, and get told ‘oh, he’s only fifty, but he’s very steady for his age.’
Boromir: ?!?!?!
And then Pippin and Merry start asking everyone how old they are because this is fascinating are we all official adults here except for Pippin or what.
Boromir: …. Pippin isn’t an adult HOW OLD IS PIPPIN.
Pippin is just 29, which is why everyone calls him Pippin, it’s gonna be at least another 20 years before he can make Peregrine work. Why, how old is Boromir?
Boromir, who would rather DIE than admit to being 28 right at this moment: …. 43.
All the others, weighing up his apparent age compared to theirs: Sure, sounds legit.
Gandalf, who knows for certain, does not say anything because he is absolutely certain that telling Pippin that he’s older than Boromir will be an unmitigated disaster.
BOROMIR is the BABY???????!!!!!!!
Love the take that Boromir’s canon age is just him being a fucking liar.
favourite lotr scenes: [1/?]
'The way is shut. It was made by those who are Dead, and the Dead keep it, until the time comes. The way is shut.’
random faramir moments (12/∞)
GIVEAWAY WINNERS - Legolas in Rivendell and Lorien for kimdepeaza He was tall as a young tree, lithe, immensely strong, able swiftly to draw a great war-bow and shoot down a Nazgûl, endowed with the tremendous vitality of Elvish bodies, so hard and resistant to hurt that he went only in light shoes over rock or through snow, the most tireless of all the Fellowship.