Im feeling moody so im just gonna contemplate things for a bit. I constantly help and comfort people and im always the bigger person even when im so much more emotional than most people. I am one of the most consistently considerate people I have ever seen, constantly trying to imagine how I may be inconveniencing others and making sure I don't upset others. This behavior i always thought would attract people who are as caring and trustworthy as I am, but I think it instead leaves the people around me too reliant on my help. I've seen my friends and their romantic relationships, and I always hated their partners because all the things I love about my friends are completely absent from their other halves. It seems like my friends are always looking for a person to counteract their own personality traits and I think that idea is stupid and born out of self hatred. It made me realize how distinctly I desire someone who is the same as me, who's condition is to help, but who longs to be truly cared for. We could be together and take care of eachother to fulfill both the urge to care, and the wish to be cared for.