#1 MIKE TRUTHER

(yet another battat blog. he uses he/it here)

[battat-was-bittat]

Hello?

One of the Werewires told me I could use this to get information. Or talk to Lightners, apparently. It's not too hard to get used to. If anyone knows anything about Mike, tell me. In exchange, I can, uh...

...Well I guess I can tell you how we run the show? Or... Anything else going on around here?

I guess I should introduce myself. That'll save me some time from having to explain myself again.

I'm Battat, I'm a Pippins, I'm a he or an it, whatever you prefer, and I live with two other guys in a town led by some goat boy and a blue thing. And I'm green. No, I don't know why.

OOC: ask/rp blog. Put this silly guy in situations. You can bully him or give him affection or turn him into a lizard or whatever you like, but I won't answer outright nsfw asks. Have fun throwing him against the wall :] Crossovers are encouraged! Magic anons are also allowed!

"Photos" (art with actual effort, and... not drawn in MS paint with a trackpad) won't be super common since it takes me a while, but they will happen on occasion, especially if it's something important.

Tags: #scrawlings - text post || #markup - reblogs || #photo evidence - images || #chicken scratch - Battat's drawings || #anonymous tips - asks.

This does have continuity to it, so Battat will remember everything that happens-- and everything around him will, too. Also, he just found out what a computer is. Have fun with that.

[mrtennano1fan]

Identity theft is a crime

[bigjohnnycheese]

Nuh uh

[10000mpregmen]

Fuck Mike!!! Who is Battat!?!?!?

[bigjohnnycheese]

you seem to be 10000 pregnant men so obviously not you

[greenpippinsno1fan]

It's me guys, I'm just a fan of myself self love yk ❤️

Battat: I agree this guy is me

Thank you honey- I mean me ❤️

[mrtennano1fan]

He's finally lost it.

[battat-was-bittat]

...Why is everyone trying to be me?

[battat-was-bittat]

(ooc: do i make a piper blog..... he was just born yesterday but i am tempted)

[battat-was-bittat]

eat the weird piece of glass. crunchy.

I'm not doing that. I'm not suicidal. I think. Not any more than most people are, anyway.

[battat-was-bittat]

...I did lick it though. Now I'm bleeding. Help.

YOU put the idea in my head! This is your fault! Pay my medical bills..! Even though we don't... Really have those here...

[battat-was-bittat]

I saw something. I saw it! Like a blacklight. Some things got so much... Brighter than they usually are. Some things weren't there at all. What does it mean? Why does it do that? I should study it.

...It did taste familiar. No, that's not right. It felt familiar.

[battat-was-bittat]

Hi!!

DID YOU KNOW A MANTIS SHRIMP'S PUNCH IS QUICKER THAN THE BLINK OF A HUMAN EYE, THEY ALSO CAN SEE POLARIZED LIGHT AND ARENT EVEN SHRIMP!!!!

O... Kay?

What do you mean by this? Are you threatening me?? With shrimp??

[battat-was-bittat]

eat the weird piece of glass. crunchy.

I'm not doing that. I'm not suicidal. I think. Not any more than most people are, anyway.

[battat-was-bittat]

...I did lick it though. Now I'm bleeding. Help.

YOU put the idea in my head! This is your fault! Pay my medical bills..! Even though we don't... Really have those here...

[battat-was-bittat]

(ooc: if you saw that last post NO YOU DID NOTTTTTT)

[battat-was-bittat]

eat the weird piece of glass. crunchy.

I'm not doing that. I'm not suicidal. I think. Not any more than most people are, anyway.

[battat-was-bittat]

This can only go poorly.

Probably. But hey, something something, has to get worse or it won't get better, I guess. I'll sort it out! Just like I try to sort out everything else that doesn't make sense, one way or another.

I'll make it make sense.

[battat-was-bittat]

I'm really sorry about the other day, I didn't want to freak anyone out. I just... Haven't been able to sleep. Not since then. Or at least, not very well...

...There's this weird piece of glass I found after that. I think it could help me figure more things out, so I keep it in this little bag, but... No idea what to do with it. No idea what it's from, either. A mug, maybe?

Either way, I try not to touch it. What kind of idiot handles broke glass with their bare hands, anyway?!

[battat-was-bittat]

SO IT'S YOU! IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, FRIEND! HAVE YOU FOUND WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR?

oh god. whoare you. who are you. stop looki g at meTHIS ISN'T FUNNY don't CALL ME THAT

[battat-was-bittat]

cofee wasa bad idea. or good idea. ifi jusr stay awaje then

[battat-was-bittat]

inneed to lie down

cantslee o though it s

nothings there. there wont be anythibg thwere if i

[battat-was-bittat]

...Vampire or werewolf, Battat?

Neither, I don't think.

...Jongler says I'm basically already a vampire, since I don't get out much, and Pippins' teeth are already pretty sharp, so nothing would really change if I was.

But...

....

Nothing. I didn't see anything there. Didn't touch anything. Didn't hear anything. Nothing was there.

Nothing was there.

[battat-was-bittat]

Tbh your hand kind of looks like a hoof? New Theory: Battat is secretly a goat!

My arms are more ribbon-like than anything. And goats have two toes, not three. I mean three fingers. I don't only have three toes. I have a normal amount of toes that most people have, because I am normal. Also, I'm a die, Ralsei's the only goat I can think of. Debunked!! Also! I do not have horns!

[battat-was-bittat]

whats with ur hand?

...

What about it? It's fine! There's nothing wrong with my hand. Nothing happened to it. Nothing at all! If you'll excuse me I need to get my third coffee of the day!

Visit Original Link

[battat-was-bittat]

Sorry Bat, I don't have any information on Mike.

I was wondering, however, which of the guys from SCC was creeping you out? I'll get Susie to have a word with them.

The blue one. "Cappin," I think. No, that's stupid, it's not spelled like that. "Cap'n." He keeps trying to, uh... "impress" everyone and it's making me REALLY uncomfortable. I have a boyfriend already!! TWO of them!! Leave me alone!!!