WHEN HE WAS WICKED SENTENCE STARTERS.
change pronouns and gendered nouns as necessary.
“i didn’t say you had to marry her. just dance with her once or twice.”
“you will not approach ____, you will not even breathe the same air. do i make myself clear?”
“i’m just so angry, and i’m sad, and i’m upset, and i look at you and i don’t understand why you’re not.”
“i thought it was a lady’s prerogative to change her mind.”
“it’s a lady’s prerogative to do anything she wants.”
“of course you have a terrible reputation. but you are endlessly charming, and so you are always forgiven.”
“but don’t you dare say i didn’t warn you. once you are out in society, and the young ladies have you backed into a corner with their mamas coming in for the kill, you will be begging for my help.”
“i love you, did you know that?”
“you really ought to endeavor to calm down.”
“it isn’t gossip, it’s the honest dissemination of information.”
“am i meant to take solace in that?”
“if one more person asks me about _____, i swear my head will explode.”
“and what renders him so unmarriageable?”
“well, i would have defended myself. my brothers showed me how.”
“for heaven’s sake, you of all people ought to understand the insanity of such a suggestion.”
“don’t you want another kiss?”
“i hereby vow not to ravish you. at least not this morning, and not without your permission.”
“i don’t know. i need more time.”
“you haven’t exactly been the model of christian rectitude.”
“for god’s sake, _____, can’t you let me think? can’t you give me just a little time to think?”
“the gesture, you mean? why, i’m courting you.”
“i wouldn’t dream of forcing you to endure my company for one moment longer.”
“i don’t know a damned thing, _____. i don’t even know you any longer.”
“if you can’t be with me, if you can’t give all of yourself to me, then i want you gone.”
“why? it’s because i love you, damn me to hell. because I’ve always loved you.
“and god only knows i don’t deserve you, but i love you, anyway.”
“if this is to end, you will have to do it. you will have to walk away, _____. because now…after everything…i’m just not strong enough to say goodbye.”
“i’ll marry you, if you’ll still have me.”
“i don’t know. don’t make me figure it out.”
“there will be no backing out. no cold feet. no changed minds.”
“you will be mine. this is it. do you understand?”
“eager little thing, aren’t we?”
“what the devil are you doing to me?”
“i…started feeling something for someone that perhaps i shouldn’t have done.”
“now why would i do that when i can dance with you instead?”
“say the word and i will crush his ribs.”
“i’m always watching you.”
“heaven forbid i find love.”
“you, my dear, are clearly the catch of the season.”
“you live to flirt and seduce.”
“and here i thought i knew everything about you.”
“this is a very odd conversation for the breakfast table.”
“oh, don’t look at me like I’m about to kill your cat.”
“it’s better with you here.”
“you can’t ask this of me. i can’t do it.”
“i think— i think we had better not see each other for a while.”
“you can’t just dismiss me.”
“oh, you know. all those things i have to do to prepare for a life of dissolution and aimlessness.”
“i wish you wouldn’t speak that way.”
“very well. tell me about something wicked, then.”
“____, there are some things you will never understand.”
“that’s a terrible thing to say.”
“forgive me. i’m tired, i’m cold, and i’m an ass.”
“it’s good to see you again. it truly is.”
“i believe my reputation can withstand it.”
“chin up, _____. i’m sure you will endure.”
“don’t you dare try your usual tricks on me. i know exactly how you operate.”
“i don’t believe i have ever seen you quite so put out.”
“marry her. it seems simple enough.”
“last i checked, there was nothing illegal in that.”
“i want a baby. is there something surprising in that?”
“it is the silliest—no, quite the stupidest—question i have ever heard.”
“i hadn’t meant to kiss you.”