spcnces:
"you’d be surprised.” because spencer mcalister looked terrible in plenty of things. he just wasn’t sure the blond next to him was understanding that. it wasn’t that he was the most confident person, because he truly wasn’t at all. so he doesn’t know what he’s doing or why he’s there. it could have been so easy for him to just get up and walk away, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. he liked their proximity; he liked feeling the heat radiating off of his body in the cool night. god, that was so weird, he knew that. yet, he couldn’t find himself regretting it. he’d been drooling over him for months, trying to find the right time to talk to him, though it never came even if the time was right. spencer would back out before he even got close to talking to him; fear of laughter and rejection. now, he wasn’t facing either of those things; laughter only in the most beautiful way. not of mockery. he was facing a beautiful man, that was so close to him, so close that spencer’s heart was beating out of his chest. this was all too much for him, but he didn’t want to get up and leave. he wanted to move closer until their bodies were touching and he could graze his fingers down his back lightly. getting ahead of himself was easy for him and he totally was at this point. the brunet doesn’t know what to say, he’s so flustered, so he just giggles, “COOL is not the right word for me, but, t-thank you. and why wouldn’t i wanna talk to you ??” that baffled him that he’d even ask that, “well, you’re sweet and are way too cool, like everyone that you walk by swoons. you’re a charmer, which i’m slightly afraid of, but you charm well, i think,” sure, he was slightly jealous that he could just be talking to him to get something. but he wanted it to be something more than him being used. not that it would be, he highly doubted it because no one truly found interest in him like he’d found interest in others. “and you’re uh, really —- GORGEOUS.” it felt odd saying that to him, spencer never found himself being that straight forward but he was at this moment. “you are ?? —- INTO me ?? ha, i just would thought you’d go for someone pretty, oh wait !! you’re joking, very funny. i get it, i’d still like to hang out with you, though.” that seemed impossible. no one ever wanted to go on actual dates with him. not in a long time at least, lacking the whole intimacy department as of recently. so it was a joke, he should have known that from the moment he sat down. but even then, the smile on baz’s face was something he couldn’t get over. it was beautiful, finding himself getting lost in it. laughing at his statement he shakes his head the best he can, “your eyes have nothing on me as a whole, i mean they’re different colors, you know that right ?? like that’s more beautiful than the stars i’d say. and i adore the stars, looking up and knowing there are other worlds out there, it’s incredible.” what was he saying and why couldn’t he stop ?? his eyes went upwards, facing the stars before turning back to his company. spencer’s gaze found baz’s lips. he wanted to kiss him. that realization hit him like a brick. fuck, he wanted to kiss him so bad, more than he’d ever wanted to. leaning in slightly, but stopping himself before he could go any closer. this was not going to happen, he could not ruin it before it started. but what ?? everything was a joke, he had nothing to ruin nor nothing to start. but fuck, he was still staring at it lips, he couldn’t stop as he licked his own, biting the bottom one. he only stopped when baz spoke, “yeah, nice to officially meet you too, baz.” and his eyes looked away from the other’s lips to meet his eyes, “does it stand for something? —- like your name, is it just baz or is it a nickname? i’m being nosy, sorry, i’ve just never heard anything like that before.”
baz merely shook his head at that, because how could anything look bad on someone who looked like him ? he couldn’t even imagine it. however he didn’t reply, knowing the other would just fight him on it. it astounded him though, even if he didn’t show it or say so, that someone who looked like spencer could think nothing but great things about themselves. ----- if it was anyone else laying across from baz, he would’ve gotten closer. he would’ve molded his body into theirs, both of them melting away together into the rough sand. but it wasn’t anyone else, it was spencer. spencer, the man he’d asked around to get to know. the man he’d learned things about via word of mouth for the past month ( or longer, definitely longer ). the man he couldn’t help but be drawn to. and even if this felt so right -- and even if he wanted it more than he wanted his father’s approval, something in him SCREAMED not to do this. not to get involved with spencer. it was something he’d never felt. like he wanted to lean forward and kiss this beautiful boy, but knew if he did they’d both set a f l a m e. and deep down he knew it was because he’d always burned everything he touched but he’d never been afraid of fire. he’d never been afraid of flames. but it wasn’t the open fire that he was worried about, it was watching the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen get destroyed. pretty things were lost to this world all the time, and baz knew that. jewels were broken, paintings stolen, and they always say the good die young, but god, baz felt like he’d do anything to keep this perfect thing perfect, this perfect man whole. and he was the last thing an angel could ever want, let alone need. he should’ve told spencer to run, he knew he would’ve if he shouted it at him with all he had. but he didn’t. he couldn’t. because he’d never been near an angel, and he wasn’t ready to see that glow fade away from him no matter how selfish it was. that glow that RADIATED from the being that couldn’t be just a human laying on the beach with him.
“you are cool. you know -- i asked so many people about you, i was so curious. and if i’m cool, and wanted to know all about you. that makes you super cool, right ? ” he inquired. the most sincere, soft and sweet smile that had ever graced barry’s face grew in the slightest as he replied. “thank you.” he said, and it was soft, quiet, and he meant it. it wasn’t like the fake thank you’s he’d hand out to anyone, he MEANT it. he appreciated spencer’s words, spencer calling him gorgeous. it made him feel like his own body was on fire -- only in the best way. baz furrowed his brows, but his smile didn’t dare fade, only grew more amused. “joking ? -- i’m dead serious, spence. i’m i n t o you.” he repeated, and even with a look of amusement on his face he hoped the other knew how sincere he was. more compliments flowed from spencer and baz had never felt this appreciated. baz had never felt so beautiful. he wanted to make spencer feel that way, but maybe he wasn’t as good with words as he’d been told he was -- maybe his honeyed voice was only good for fucking and manipulating. either way, he wouldn’t give up. he wouldn’t give up the way he felt right now, he wouldn’t give up trying to share it with spencer.
“i’d say something about how you have the whole sky in your eyes but i think maybe that might be a bit too internet poet.” he teased, though his voice was still filled with nothing but adoration. and his joke was clearly that, something comical, but it felt short in the air to his ears as he felt himself leaning towards the other a bit. he’d taken note of where spencer’s eyes had locked and he would’ve kissed him -- he wanted to. he was going to. but spencer asked about his name and baz just smiled even wider. “you’re not bein’ nosey. you’re getting to know me, yeah ? ” he offered. it felt a bit weird to say, really. that someone was ‘getting to know him’ but it was true. he was letting spencer slip through a crack in his seemingly put together wall, and he was letting him get to know him in a more intimate way then he had anyone in the past few years just by talking. just by being here how they were. he was letting him get to know him, and he was doing his damn best to get to know him too. “you’re not gonna laugh at me if i tell you my name are ya, spence ? not many people know my real name. it’s kind of like my biggest secret. are we ready to share secrets ? ” he inquired, and he was being light and teasing but he was still leaning in closer and his lips were nearly brushing spencer’s and his eyes struggling not to flutter shut as he continued to look into the other’s. he was teasing in more ways then one, teasing spencer and himself. with one push of his body he would’ve had his lips on spencer’s but he waited. it’d be rude to interrupt the conversation anyways, right ?















