I’m sure some people have noticed that I haven’t been around lately again, and I wanted to further explain myself before going on an indefinite hiatus. Please bear with me, as I don’t know if this will come off as me venting or ranting, but I feel this is all stuff I need to say and want to get across to everyone.
Okay, you officially made my entire month an awesome one! Thanks so much for coloring in this epic sauce drawing you did! It seriously means everything to me and again, I’ll come back sometime later on, I promise! Thanks so much for the support and keep up the waffle awesome job!!! ★
I’m sure some people have noticed that I haven’t been around lately again, and I wanted to further explain myself before going on an indefinite hiatus. Please bear with me, as I don’t know if this will come off as me venting or ranting, but I feel this is all stuff I need to say and want to get across to everyone.
I understand, lovely. Ive had chronic pain issues the last 6 months and its hard to be a cinnamon roll sometimes when you feel that way. Take care of you, first and foremost. We love you and your presence but we want you to be happy and as least stressful as possible. I hope things get better. But, know you can have my ear if you ever need it. ❤
@catsarefoolish
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry you’ve been going through a similar situation too! :( It’s such a terrible journey to go through and I honestly hope you get better soon!! Thank you so much for being so understanding and kind to me throughout my stay on my blog. It just means so much to me! Keep me updated as much as you can cause I’m always here for you 110% too! ❤❤❤
//I don't think you need to apologize for how you feel, or having to take some time for yourself away from the blog for however long you need to. Just wanted to tell you that I've always thought your BB was fantastic, and even though we may have never rped and hardly talked, you've definitely been one of the people I've loved seeing on my dash (especially on sasuke where it was like why are you even HERE). You do you, though, and i hope things get better for you in concern to health issues. :(
@circuitboardskin
Thank you so much for always being super supportive of me since day 1! It means a lot to me that you took the time to read my entire post. And I’m really happy to hear you enjoyed my BB so much. I still think I could use some work on writing him in threads. You’ve been such a good friend to me and I hope we can still be friends when I come back too! Always keep up the epic job Rping on your blog! You’re tofu awesome at it and never let anyone tell you otherwise!!
hello darling, if i -- can remember ??? correctly??? i remember you gave me your skype and it completely crossed my mind but i still consider you a good friend and if i can still add you on skype i would love to <3
@justwhellmed
Holy tofu! Thanks so much for messaging me! It really means a lot to me that you consider me a good friend! You’re one of the people I’ve looked up to in the Rp community and I’m really happy we could be friends! And yes please add me!! If you need my Skype again, I can always message you with it ASAP!! <333
As some completely random person who hasn't really rp'd with you much, I'm sorry to see you've had so much trouble on here. I've had my bad days too, where I worry that my Ivy just can't compete with all the other Ivys already on here, I'm too new, not established enough, my theme isn't cool enough (I'm laughing BUT I have legit worried about this so much it's not really funny). So I totally get what you're feeling. Whatever you do, take care of yourself babbu <3
@tradicans
Thanks so much for taking the time to read what I said and understanding where I’m coming from. I’m very sorry you’re going through something similar too. I really hope it gets better for you cause I know you’re an amazing Rper and never let anyone tell you otherwise! You got me and tons more people who are behind ya 110%! :) And again, thanks so much for saying this. It means a lot to me! ♥
@kitty-mcbodkins Not colored or anything yet. I hope you come back and feel better. You need your time and space, just know that you are an amazing bb roleplayer and that you are loved by many. If I ink and color it I’ll send that to you too. I hope for the best for ya.
Okay, I honestly logged on to check on a few things but I NEVER expected to see something this amazing in my inbox! HOLY TOFU! Just look at this adorable drawing! Honestly, you made my week. It’s been completely awful and just seeing this just makes me so happy like you couldn’t even believe. I promise I’ll be back someday! So no worries at all! Thank you so much again! And please always continue to show your epic sauce talent cause it’s incredible~!!
I’m sure some people have noticed that I haven’t been around lately again, and I wanted to further explain myself before going on an indefinite hiatus. Please bear with me, as I don’t know if this will come off as me venting or ranting, but I feel this is all stuff I need to say and want to get across to everyone.
I’m sure some people have noticed that I haven’t been around lately again, and I wanted to further explain myself before going on an indefinite hiatus. Please bear with me, as I don’t know if this will come off as me venting or ranting, but I feel this is all stuff I need to say and want to get across to everyone.
I’m sure some people have noticed that I haven’t been around lately again, and I wanted to further explain myself before going on an indefinite hiatus. Please bear with me, as I don’t know if this will come off as me venting or ranting, but I feel this is all stuff I need to say and want to get across to everyone.
I'm sure some people have noticed that I haven't been around lately again, and I wanted to further explain myself before going on an indefinite hiatus. Please bear with me, as I don't know if this will come off as me venting or ranting, but I feel this is all stuff I need to say and want to get across to everyone.
The main reason why I haven't been around is due to my health. As I'm sure most of you know, my condition isn't the best. In fact, if anything, my condition has only continued to get worse over time. I have such a lack of energy lately that even getting online is a struggle for me. I've been dealing with my sickness for 5 long years now, and it's not easy to keep positive through it all. I've had my fair share of breakdowns because of it. When I get a pain attack (and I get them a lot), they are quite severe, and what little energy I had beforehand is diminished even further. It honestly makes me sad, because it's hard to keep current in the RP community. I lose track of what's been happening, it's hard to keep up with RP friends, and sometimes it's really hard to keep up with threads in general. I can go weeks without getting to a single thread, and it honestly gets to me because I feel like I'm letting the other person down. If anyone has been waiting on me all this time for a reply, I'm incredibly sorry. It frustrates me honestly as much, if not more so, than it does you all.
One of the things that makes this even more difficult is that some people, to clarify this isn't everyone, but some just don't seem to understand that sometimes I just can't reply in a timely manner due to my health. I know starting a thread can be very exciting and fun, it's why I try to keep up with it as much as my health allows, but when I explain to certain people that at that moment in time I can't reply to the thread due to my illness, but will once I can, they just don't take no for an answer. They'll just keep pushing for a reply over and over again, and it's honestly frustration that I don't need on top of what I'm already dealing with. It's really hard to ignore as well when everything is connected to my phone, and I need to keep my notification sounds on so I can be aware of other things, like alarms for my medication, or if my family or husband need to get a hold of me. I try and be nice in my replies to these people as best as I can, but it's hard to continue to be so when you're in so much pain and it just doesn't stop. It honestly puts me off from RPing a little bit.
I don't know how to explain this next point properly, and please keep in mind that prolonged sickness gets my emotions all over the place, but I'll do my best. I was intending to come back on the first day of May to my BB blog. I had missed everyone, the threads I was involved in, and just the community as a whole. But the night before, I noticed something in the 'Beast Boy' search on Tumblr that I hadn't really seen before. There was an army of BB RPers. Not just a handful, but a whole bunch of them. I'm usually cool with it and I'm always happy that my smol green son has so many people loving his character, but the more I saw their blogs, the more I couldn't help but think 'am I good enough anymore'?
I saw how well they're portraying him, not just as himself, but in his interactions with other characters too, and it's hard not to ask myself if I'm cut out to RP as Beast Boy anymore. The character is VERY dear to me, and he's my favorite male character. Not because he's some silly comic relief character, but rather because I connected to him in his serious moments. I was his age when Teen Titans first started airing on TV, and the more I saw of him, the more I continued to want to see. I want to clarify that I don't KIN with Beast Boy. I don't entirely get what it is to be honest, but if if others do and want to, I'm totally cool with that. But at this point, he's the only character I've RPed as. I know there's some people who have two, three, or even more characters going on at once, but I guess that's just not me.
To me, I'm not RPing him because I think 'it'll be cool to RP this character', but because he's a character that's helped me through some of the hardest times in my life. Seeing other BBs portray him better just makes me feel like I'm not cut out for it, like I don't want to be in the way of these others, or be just another BB RPer. I just sort of have to accept that I'm not necessarily needed right now for it. Again, I think it's awesome that so many people are passionate enough about the character to RP him, but I can't help feeling how I feel. I know this all sounds really silly, and I admit that due to illness, my emotions can be all over the place, but I've honestly been having a lot of anxiety over this, I'm not entirely sure why, and just wanted to let it out there. I think for the time being, I just need to step away from it and really think calmy and rationally over an extended period of time. I'm not sure when I'll be back, or the manner in which I'll be back. Maybe I'll make another character entirely, or maybe I'll be back in a few weeks the same as always? I don't really know right now, but for right now, if you've read this far, thank you for reading and listening to my ramblings, and I hope I've made sense in what I've been trying to say.
I'll mostly be on my main blog and main Skype for the time being. Feel free to message me if you want either of them and if you want to continue to stay in contact with me. Thank you all for making my time here a fantastic one! All the people that I've met through this have been wonderful to me, and I can't honestly thank you enough. Like I said, maybe someday I'll be back, but until then, I wish everyone the best, and I hope to see you again soon.
if you ever think about sending me an ask and decide not to cause “oh she doesn’t care” or “oh I don’t want to bother her” literally I’m the loneliest piece of shit you can find and would still love you if you sent me the word nuzzle over and over again
“ i am a GALAXY – i am not just a normal star !! “
she yelled to the dark , void like sky. to the people that never thought she could be anything more than some silly little girl. she screamed till her voice began to crack , break , and finally turn to silence just like the rest of the world around her.
“ and i am sorry – that you could not see that “
[x] ( fair warning , credit is a music video ) | written by mabs | non-rp blogs do not reblog