Written Tuesday Morning 1/3/23 at 7:39 AM by CL The Source
For so long I did not know I wasn’t a free man.
For so long I did not know a free life.
For so long, my idea of freedom was different.
Freedom to me used to be about doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and however I wanted.
Yes, there is a large element of that in overall freedom that I continuously work towards and yes that is what is largely considered to be the pinnacle of freedom but what I did not know for so long is that in order to reach that state and live in it, I must first work on freeing myself from the prison in my own mind.
This is the story of a prisoner of the mind vividly describing the prison and detailing what for too long kept him imprisoned.
The prison of the mind locks you away from experiencing the true potential of imagination, creativity and limitlessness that the mind is naturally comprised of.
The prison is ran by the guards which are the many different voices in our heads and in our lives. They’re the stories that we repeatedly and unconsciously tell ourselves and believe to be true in our own minds.
The warden of the prison is FEAR in big bold letters because the strength of that fear is what holds the prison up and for far too long I gave this prison too much power.
The warden, which is fear, keeps the locks sealed tight and only allows you to feel “real life” only once in a while by giving you time in the yard outside of the bars. This is complete torture because although it feels nice to be outside as if I was a free man with the ability to roam wherever I please, I was constantly reminded that I was not free. I was still trapped behind these tall walls that were being secured even more by guard snipers trained to shoot me down if I made the slightest attempt at even touching the walls.
The tall walls are my deep conditioning that I developed during the formative years of my life. It is the paradigm that has been running for so long. It is the paradigm that I never knew existed and never knew could be changed.
Even while in this prison, I knew within me that there had to be more to life. This couldn’t be it. There had to be more. There just had to be.
Although I went about life in prison as a prisoner did, I refused to accept these circumstances as the only reality and during that stretch of time I would experiment with different ways to free myself with no real plan or idea of how to do so. I would work longer hours at a job hoping to be noticed for my good work only to be limited by more guards and wardens. I would experiment with different vices and distractions to make me feel a temporary sense of euphoria but when these moments came to pass, I would awake from my slumber still confined behind these bars and walls this time only more depleted and feeling a greater sense of futility.
Still, I knew there had to be more. I was always curious as to what was beyond those walls. How far did it stretch? What else was out there that I was being kept from?
The curiosity is what kept me from sinking further into this prison and accepting the then circumstances as my destiny. I knew that wasn’t it for me even when other cell mates (strangers, co-workers, colleagues, friends, family) didn’t support my vision or even tried to dissuade me from pursuing them and attempted to make me feel like my thoughts were inadequate. They would say things like, “it’s safer to do it this way”, or “who do you think you are?”, or even worse they wouldn’t say anything and their energy said everything they were thinking. They were all operating under the strong arm of the warden: FEAR. They too were guards in the prison of the mind.
For too long I conformed to the orders within this prison but the whole time I knew there was more and I would never stop going for it. I longed to be free and it was going to become reality for me some day. I knew it was going to take a lot of work, a lot of effort, a lot of patience and a lot of strength but after being a prisoner in this jail for so long, I was no stranger to hard work and I had developed the strength and patience I knew it was going to take in order to free myself.
Although there were far more non-believers, nay sayers and opposition within these walls, there was also a select few rare individuals that stood beside me and knew that the possibility of freedom was possible. I clung onto those people, leaned on them and confided in them as I did the most important work of all: I turned to myself.
I looked deeply into my soul for answers and I created a plan, fine tuning it everyday while plotting not only my escape from this prison but also the complete destruction of it so that it may never restrict me again.
As I continued to tap inward and build myself from within, I slowly began to realize that there were soft spots and weaknesses in this prison that I can take advantage of in order to successfully escape.
It wasn’t long after that realization that I figured out there was a door somewhere that was wide open for me to walk right through to get myself beyond the walls of this prison. It was so simple, how did I not realize this sooner? It didn’t matter because it was then that I realized that this prison was self imposed and I could free myself at any time; I just didn’t know it until now. I put myself in there. I created this matrix. I made myself the prisoner of it and I can make myself free from it and be a prisoner no more.
