[unbotheredmuse]

[sal19]

[bbyluvv7]

i don’t even know how and who to talk to about this. i feel so lost

[bbyluvv7]

i don’t know what’s come over me the past week. my chest hurts and i start randomly crying. can i please go back to the state of being numb? i miss the mania. i’m also scared of getting addicted on the medication i’ve been prescribed, but i also want to sleep all this off

[thlli]

“ الطفل الذي لم تحتضنه قريته، سيحرقها ليشعر بدفئها “.

[vampirejuice-deactivated2019112]

[dammitradar]

[bbyluvv7]

they say that you’re mean, that i went crazy after you

that you left me, so i ran and left the country

[perrfectly]

Source

[bbyluvv7]

i miss her. i often think about talking to her again, telling her that i read her favourite book, “a thousand splendid suns”. i want to ask her if that’s still her favourite book. i want to tell her that i read all the author’s books in an attempt to feel close to her. i want to tell her that i’d give up everything to hear her voice again, and to walk down the streets of pakistan with her. i want us to stay up all night discussing politics. i want to be there for her when she’s sad. i want to know if she still has the same friends. i want to tell her i still have the letter she wrote me, and that i didn’t think it was possible for someone to love me the way that she did. i want to tell her that i’d never let anyone love me that way, because that spot is only for her.

it’s 2.43 am, and i’m in the process of reading “and the mountains echoed” by khaled houssaini, and all i can feel is sadness at the book, and sadness that i can’t tell her i’m reading it.

[uncle-dre2-deactivated20210813]

[highhoneypiee]

Pick a bottle any bottle lol

[artisanalbooty]

[volumenviridis]

I recently read an article about a therapy group for depressed people who had all attempted suicide at some point. The breakthrough question for them was, “If your goal was to be just as miserable as possible, what would you do?” Most of them listed things like not getting enough sleep, or isolating themselves from everyone… the list goes on, but the point is, they listed things they already do. But now they saw those “coping mechanisms” for what they really were: things that were actively making their condition worse.

I read that article at 2:00 AM, asked myself, am I TRYING to be miserable tomorrow? And it was easier than usual to put my phone down and fall asleep. Even my intrusive “lying down” thoughts about meaninglessness and existential dread were easier to suppress when I framed them as things I’d think about to purposefully make myself feel as awful as possible.

[crystalwitch-in-the-tardis]

Fuck that is helpful

[catasters]

[perfectquote]

“I’m caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.”

— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being A Wallflower

[thlli]

“ رُبما كان الشعور المحتوم دومًا عليَّ الوحدة. أن أشعر بالوحدةِ الساحقة، أن تُصاحبني الوحدة في كل حفلةٍ أذهبُ إليها، كُل حوارٍ أجريه، وكُل رفقةٍ أُصاحِبُها .”

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[bbyluvv7]

i love tumblr bc i fully feel like i’m talking to the void

[oomshi]

Did u grow up without a positive male influence

didnt everyone

[bbyluvv7]

“absence makes the heart grow fonder” b*tch no it’s only breeding animosity 😐