[ID: Images 1 & 2: A reddit post by a deleted user, titled "My best friend and I decided to get married. How do we explain this to our family?"
I (33f) am pretty successful but have never wanted a romantic relationship. The closest I have to a girlfriend is my best friend Karol (35f), who I spend all my time with. We have been friends for 9 years.
She is gay, but due to her past, she doesn't really connect with people well. She has some personality disorders, which I do not mind. I love her very much, but I am not really sexually motivated. I had sex when I was 18 and never really wanted to do it again.
Emotionally, she is the person I think of when I have something go wrong.
She has been living with me for about 4 years now. Most people have asked if we are dating because we are very comfortable with one another. Most of our friends don't believe we aren't involved.
I spend 90% of my free time with her. We have kittens together. We do pretty much everything a married/engaged couple would do without the PDA. We hold hands all the time, cuddle, she sleeps in my room with me. We have travelled together every vacation for the past 9 years.
The moment I met Karol, no one else really mattered. She got me on a level no one else did. I trusted her with things I have never told anyone else. She is my soul mate.
Two nights ago, Karol said she could never see herself marrying anyone because it would mean leaving our little family. I agreed. I love her very much. If I were sexual, she would be the sort of person I would want to be with. She gets me. She is beautiful and vibrant.
She asked me if I would ever consider getting married to a woman. She said she would want to marry me if she could because I am the only real family she has and she loves me.
It might be stupid, but I agreed. I said I would marry her if she wanted. So now I am engaged to my best friend and we are unsure how to tell our families. We purchased rings, we have a date planned for the wedding, and are already going on a trip together in June.
I have never loved anyone more than her. We have both been single for as long as we have been friends. No one in my family is homophobic. We are not having a wedding, just going down to the courts. How do we break this to our family? What would be the best way to tell people?
tl;lr: My best friend and I decided to get married. How do we explain this to our family?
Image 3 is a section from the post's comments:
u/OneTwoWee000: You share a life together and feel she's your soulmate. You've decided to make it legal. Say just that.
Regarding the status of your relationship, you don't have to comment on that. Who cares if you're not having sex? For what it's worth, it sounds like you could be described as an asexual woman in a lesbian relationship.
Congrats on the marriage! Be happy and proud. You love one another and do not owe anyone an explanation of your decisions. Answer only what you feel comfortable responding to amid follow up questions from family, friends, and coworkers.
OP: Thanks so much for the advice. She is my soul mate and I am lucky to have her in my life. She makes me feel like a whole person.
u/splenetic: (Quotes OP's above comment.) I can't think of a better reason for marrying someone. You love her, she loves you, and you make each other happy. Enjoy your lives together!
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