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@beabeaudelaire
Busy, busy, busy....
Think so? I’ve heard worse. But, what can you do?
Do you even hear yourself when you speak? What happened to being genuine about wanting to be a better person? Or was I mistaken to believe you? It wouldn't be the first time I've been wrong about a person. Is everyone right about you?
Busy, busy, busy....
It’s not easy being me. Between fucking people over, spending time with Daniela and being almost perfect, it’s a shock I even have time to sleep.Â
You are despicable.
Edward looked down at the man’s hand but he didn’t dare budge to shake it. He was numb. Not to mention blindsided completely by this news. He wasn’t even properly processing anything anymore. It was like in an instance, everything he’d ever known was upside down. It may as well have been his demise. For the first time since his eyes fell over Beatrice’s in a year, Edward finally realized that he indeed was too late and a startling reality dawned on him. While Beatrice didn’t hate him, she also didn’t love him anymore. If she did, she wouldn’t have been about to walk down the aisle with this stranger. She really had moved on and everything, for the most part, everything she’d been saying to him had been the unfiltered truth. This was the only time in which running in the opposite direction was acceptable. It wasn’t easy to accept defeat in the eyes, but it had to be done here and now. Edward swallowed his pride. “Nobody,” he answered the French man’s question flatly before he walked back where he’d come from, not even wanting to look over his shoulder for one final glance at Beatrice. He’d held on to a thread of hope that maybe one day he could come to her like he had on this day and convince her of his reforms, but that quickly faded when this fiance of hers stepped between them. He could now fully come to terms with the end of their wayward relationship. It was over, for good.
The look in his eye when Nicolas introduced himself caused her heart to sink to her stomach. Yes, he deserved this. He deserved this and so, so, so much more. But there was still a very palpable part of her that couldn't stand seeing him hurt...and she'd never seen it this bad. He really thought he had a chance, that they could fix this...that this would be like every other time. He didn't know that she had promised herself not to be that girl anymore, the one who was weak, the one who took him back no matter his trespasses. But he also didn't know about the little boy who was sleeping just upstairs, the same little boy whose veins carried his blood. She could have told him. She could stop this. She didn't. Already in her life she had sacrificed so much to him - she couldn't do it anymore. It didn't matter that all she really wanted was to jump in his arms, claw her nails into his skin so he couldn't abandon her again, force him into this fairytale family life that she wanted so badly. Edward, though, wasn't made for it. No matter what he said, it was a truth they both knew, deep down. Nobody. If only he could know how very from the truth that was. As he walked away, she felt like crying. She didn't. Instead, she closed this chapter of her life forever as Nicolas wrapped his arms around her and closed the door. He was out of her life good. It was for the best...it had to be.
Edward fell back on his heels, his eyes glancing towards a man he’d never seen before. He looked surprised to say the least. “Who are you?” he demanded to know, turning his head back to Beatrice. His heart was restless as it palpitated furiously in his chest. Suddenly, another emotion overcame him - it was jealousy. Whoever this man was, he was standing too close to her for Edward’s liking. He closed his hands into fists next to his sides instinctively.Â
When Nicolas interrupted them, Beatrice sighed in relief; he was another barrier between them. Now Edward was looking at her, demanding an answer which she was sure he instinctively knew. Nicolas's arm settled around her waist. "Edward this is-" but Nicolas beat her to it. "Nicolas Lefevre, Beatrice's fiance. And you are?" he asked, extending his hand to Edward, but clearly emitting an air of superiority. Beatrice tensed, bracing herself for Edward's reaction.
It’s not true. We can come back from this Beatrice. Tell me you’ll always love me, until the end of time like before. Tell me the truth.Â
No, we can’t! And we won’t. You aren’t even listening to me! You never listen to me. You don’t get to make demands from me, you controlling, manipulative psycho. Get out!
A man stepped out into the foyer, a somewhat concerned look on his face as he stood close to Beatrice. "What's going on here?"
It’s not true. We can come back from this Beatrice. Tell me you’ll always love me, until the end of time like before. Tell me the truth.Â
No, we can't! And we won't. You aren't even listening to me! You never listen to me. You don't get to make demands from me, you controlling, manipulative psycho. Get out!
This past year has been different so you don’t get to say those things about me when you have no idea. I’m not leaving.Â
I know exactly who you are. You are cruel and self-destructive and all you know how to do is hurt people. You poisoned the love I had for you. I hate you and I never want to see your face again. I wasn't giving you a choice. Get out.
No, this is the real me. I’m sorry I could be me 100% but I can’t be without you another day. As much as you don’t believe me, I don’t believe you either. We love each other. I’m not going anywhere until you admit it. I’ve made so many mistakes in the past but I have never stopped loving you so don’t do this Beatrice. Save us both from this pain, because I love you with everything in me. Let me prove it to you, I’m ready. I wasn’t before but please, I’m not leaving until you give me a good reason to.Â
How either of us feel doesn't matter. You are incapable of being in a healthy relationship, you probably never will be. All you know how to do is hurt people, yourself included. Trust me, you don't want me to give you the reason. This is the last time I'll ask nicely. Leave.
I know you don’t mean that Beatrice, you’re just being hesitant because I know how badly I hurt you. But that wasn’t the real me. It never was.Â
No, Edward - that is the real you. You forget, I know this version of you too. The one who comes crawling back with an apology swearing you love me and it won't ever happen again. And guess what? It always happens again. I don't want to be with you. You slept with my best friend! Then you disappeared. I was so, so mad at you for that. But then I realized...it was for the best. My life is better without you in it. My heart was broken, but it was better than being battered and bruised repeatedly. I mean it, Edward. You should go.
A year is nothing compared to the rest of our lives. I can’t forget you, forget what we had. Call me crazy but nothing’s changed. Not when I look at you and remember what I felt.. tell me you don’t feel the same way. Tell me you don’t want this just as bad as I do.Â
Maybe. But that year was miserable for me. And where were you? I finally decided that I don't care what you were doing. I've moved on, Edward. I don't want anything to do with you.
No, I didn’t. I expected you to damn me to hell and demand I leave. But I also refuse to leave empty-handed. I’ve learned my lesson and life without you is like I could have never imagined before. After what I did, I realized I wasn’t in the right state of mind. What I did was…unforgivable but if you could just find it in you to, we could move past this. I’m begging you, Beatrice.Â
I'll save the condemnation. You're right, it was unforgivable. You can't just come back here a year later and expect me to just move past it. A year is a long time. A lot has changed...and you are not a part of my life anymore.
I’m not finished here — I came because I wanted to see you, I wanted to ask for your forgiveness. Just one more chance, one last chance to prove to you who I am. It’s all I ask.Â
...I guess you expected me to, what? Welcome you here with open arms? Swoon at your every word, like I always have? Well, I'm not going to. Please leave.
