jenni @beachykeenyyy - Tumblr Blog

so i guess i’m at that age now where i’m into ned flanders

i’m so torn about audrey and cooper bc on one hand im really glad that cooper is decent enough not to take advantage of audrey but on the other i just really want to see them make out

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When people try me

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When I leave Costco

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There are two types of people.

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concept: me, a housewife, putting two lean cuisines in the microwave. i drink an entire bottle of chardonnay during the four minutes the chicken fettuccine takes to heat up. my husband walks through the door just as i place the entrée on the table. he thanks me for slaving away all day over a hot stove. i have succeed in passing the lean cuisine off as my own creation. when he’s done, i tell him im in love with our maid, helen–who bears a striking resemblance to margot robbie–and that i will see him in court. im blind drunk and jump into a 1960s pink convertible that helen is driving. we laugh about the lean cuisines.