Beatrice looked down asking herself why she was so stupid. She should’ve just shut her mouth, of course it was wrong for her to ask that. Obviously Lucinda wasn’t going to say ‘okay’. That would be too easy, too easy for Beatrice and she did not deserve easy. Especially not with Luci. Not after everything she has done.
Beatrice scratched her forearm nervously, “I’m sorry,” she repeated quieter than before when Luci told Beatrice that only looking at her was killing her. The only thing that came through her mind at this point was to run away, run away from Luci because she didn’t know what to do anymore. “You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you and you surely don’t deserve me taking your time away from whatever’s for sure more important that this,” she spoke calmly, “I should just go back home,” she added, getting up quit quickly, “I’m sorry, I should go,” she scratched the back of her neck, her eyes meeting with Luci’s for the first time, before repeating, “I’m sorry,” and rushing out from the small café. Her heart still racing, she hopped into her car and threw her purse on the passenger seat, hands grabbing onto the stering as she tried to calm down by taking long deep breaths, that’s what they thought her in rehab when she would feel she was about to have a panic attack. It helped.
Lucinda’s eyes wandered to Beatrice’s nails scratching at her skin and she frowned, having to fight the urge to lean over and rest her hand atop the woman’s to get her to stop. Beatrice began to explain that Lucinda didn’t deserve this and the young woman frowned, looking up at her ex before her eyes widened when Beatrice suddenly left.
“What… the fuck,” Lucinda breathed after a moment of silence. Her eyes followed Beatrice through the glass walls to her car and she watched her sitting in the driver’s seat. Lucinda grabbed her glass and took another sip of water, confident that Beatrice wasn’t about to drive off just yet, and let out a slow breath. She wasn’t letting this chapter of her life die that easily. She got up slowly, her pulse thundering in her ears, and set down a tip before tugging on Perdita’s leash gently and leaving the cafe. Lucinda walked over to the car and opened the passenger’s door. She picked up Beatrice’s purse and sat into the car, letting Perdita sit at her feet. Luci closed the door and sat with the other girl in silence before turning her head to look at her. “You know what I really don’t deserve?” Lucinda asked her, deciding it was her time to speak. “I don’t deserve someone who tries to tell me what I deserve - I know what I need, don’t take that away from me. And I really don’t deserve you running away from me, again. Jesus, look at you, Ris– how… have you got me in this position twice?” She chuckled sadly. “I’m here chasing after you again,” Lucinda licked her lips and set her jaw. “So, the way I see it, you have two choices,” she said, letting out a slow breath. “Either, you can kick me out of your car and drive back home, running away from me for the final time, because I will not let you come back and break me again… or, you can just sit there for a while and I can tell you how things have been for me whilst you calm down, and maybe you might decide you want this to work, and we can talk about that.” She finished, biting the inside of her cheek as she looked over at Beatrice.
Beatrice's heart missed a beat when Lucinda hopped into the car, she wasn't expecting her to follow her here. She let go of the stering, her hands slowly moved to her own thighs were they rested. She couldn't even get herself to look at Luci while she listened to every single word she said. Slowly she calmed down, she was barely shaking anymore and it became easier for her to breath, but when Lucinda mentioned getting break again Beatrice shook her head softly because that really wasn't her intention even though it's not what it looked like. She just didn't know how to be around her anymore. She just wanted to grab her face and kiss her expecting it would be okay, but she knew it wasn't the right thing to do but then when did Bea even knew how to do or what was the right thing, anyways? Slowly she turned her head towards the other girl, finally looking at her she nodded as her hands reached for Luci's face before she pulled her in for a kiss. "I promise, I won't break you again, I swear it's not what I want," she mumbled against the brunette's lips.











