beautifullyWEIRD

[beautifullyweird]

Chores and Play

I saw a post on Facebook the other day that I have seen multiple times about it being ok as a mom to leave the mess and play with your kids because all too soon they grow up. The post is supposed to make a mom or parent feel less stressed and not feeling guilty about playing with your kids. I could see that point and I understood it. But, the main emotion I felt wasn't relief. Instead I felt annoyed, guilty, and frustrated.

When I was reading that post, I sitting on the messy couch in a messy living room in a messy house. Actually, "messy" might not be the right word for it-more like "disaster". Dishes are piled, laundry is far more behind than I care to admit, every room in the house is a mess and it was all too overwhelming for me to even begin. Granted, I think some of it was my anxiety/depression, but I truly think I just get to a point that I don't know where to start.

The worst part is that when my house is a disaster, my mind is a disaster. It's unorganized, foggy, forgetful, and chaotic. I can't think straight and when you have 3 kids in school and extracurriculars and all of them are needing donations for this, snacks for that, crazy hair day, volunteers, etc. and you are trying to remember appointments, events, schedules, and more....it just gets thrown into the mix and everything becomes scrambled.

The point is, I think it's ok to want both. I think it's super important to play with your kids; but I also need a decently organized and clean house in order to FUNCTION as a human being. When the house is somewhat in order, so is my mind. I feel happier and less forgetful. Currently, I am in the midst of purging and reorganizing every room in the house. My theory is that the less we have, the less we have to clean....right? Ever since I have started this, I have actually enjoyed playing with my kids MORE! When I look at why, I see that although it's not perfect and I have a long way to go, every room I get done means my brain is less chaotic. I actually feel like I have the time to sit and enjoy a game of Go Fish or Old Maid and not be thinking as much about cleaning.

In the end, YOU DO YOU! If you feel like you need some time to play with the kids instead of the dishes...do it without guilt. If your kid is asking you to play yet again today, but you just want to get those dishes done first...do it without guilt. Do what makes you the best version of yourself and do it without guilt!

[beautifullyweird]

Alright, so I did write another blog a few days ago about my Selective Mutism, but something happened and after spending about 2 hours on it, it just disappeared. This time, I am going to play it smart and copy the text down when I am done. However, I decided maybe for the first "official" post, I should tell you a little about myself.

I was born in Evansville, IN. If you don't know where that is, it's almost in Kentucky-like we used to cross into Kentucky to eat for dinner and it was only a matter of crossing the bridge. I am the first of 4-I have 1 sister and 2 brothers. After 4th grade, we moved to Newburgh, IN and that is where we stayed until I moved out when I went to college. The rest of my family moved one more time after that (as a whole) and then when my parents divorced, my parents sold the house.

I went to college at Indiana State University, originally, for Music Education. Really, though, I just loved marching band and the only way I knew how to stay involved was in education. However, I quickly found being a teacher was definitely not for me. At the same time, my boyfriend at the time (now currently my husband) showed me a whole new world of music-the Underground Music Scene. I fell in love with the feel, the people, the music, and the excitement and decided I wanted to switch my major to Music Business Administration. By the end of that year, though, I was not a huge fan of the program and had no idea what I wanted to do in it. While that was going on, I began working at the college newspaper as an Advertising Designer and I fell back to my roots of visual arts and my husband and I both began to study Graphic Design. We took every class together as well as worked together and we LOVED it.

In 2010, on our 5 year anniversary, Anthony and I got married in the Fall-our favorite of all seasons. It was hot, but it was a beautiful day. In 2012, we welcomed into the world our talkative and super smart son, Isaiah. The year 2015 brought us our sassy, independant, dance-loving little girl, Everly. And to our surprise, we had another little girl-sassy like her sister and energetic like her brother-Addison in 2017. We just recently moved closer to Indianapolis so that we could have more opportunities for jobs and for our kids.

That was quite a bit of coverage in a just a few paragraphs, but when I am getting to know someone, it sometimes helps to know the general history of them. Although it may appear that everything was always straightforward for me, you could see there was plenty of excitement over the years if you I were to dive in deeper; and that is exactly what I plan to do.

Some of the things I would like to talk about isn't necessarily life or death situations, but that is kind of the point. You see, on the outside, someone may seem to have their act together and everything is smooth sailing. But if you dive in deeper, I guarantee you will find there is so much more to their story. Just because you can't visually see what they are going through, it doesn't mean they are not going through anything. Or just because it isn't fatal, it can still affect their life in a big way. I hope that I can show you this by talking about my own crazy problems. But I also hope to show those that deal with the same things as me are not alone.

[beautifullyweird]

Introduction

So I put this blog off for awhile now, simply because I had no idea how to start or even if anyone would be interested in anything I would have to say. However, I decided that sometimes the best way to do things, is to just dive in and see where it goes. So here I go...

This blog is just a little about me and my chaos. I am honestly a bit of a mess, as much as I try to straighten things up. I sometimes find that writing things down helps me to organize my thoughts (and it’s a jumbled mess up there, too). Over the years, I have also found that more often than not, I’m not alone with my chaos. Maybe noone has ALL of my EXACT challenges, but there are a lot of people out there that share at least one. This makes me feel less crazy, less alone, but most importantly, humbled.

I am realizing more and more each day that everyone is dealing with something and it’s not always something you can see. I have a collection of small issues, but can you see any of them? Not usually. Are they life threatening? No. Do they make things a bit more challenging at times? Yes. And I am not alone. Therefore, in this blog, I will share the challenges and rewards that come with my unique/not unique self. In doing so, I hope to bring awareness that everyone is dealing with something that may not be visible or life threatening, but it still makes some things a struggle. If you would like to stick around, welcome to the party! 

Sincerely,

BeautifullyWiErD