Primadonna Girl

All I ever wanted was the world. (Roleplay blog for SHSL Beauty Queen, Sakata Katsumi. Affiliated with Archive of Despair 2)

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

The silence before she finally spoke wasn’t too bad. He shifted a bit, rubbing at his arms as he waited. In this shirt, without his usual concealment of several jackets and long sleeves, his stab wound was pretty out in the open. He didnt seem prone to fidgeting with its bandages, though, much more focused on Katsumi.

”..Ah.” That was what he said, finally, when Katsumi finally took the box. Dropping his hands to watch her, and then pointedly not watch her once she said what she did.  Oh. Well that made sense, yeah. Nothing to be too worked up about here, professional comrades used each others first names all the time… especially when they had crippling family issues going on.

"Kats…umi. Alright." He almost felt like he needed to add some kind of honorific here, but that isn’t how Nojima Kousuke rolls. It would be WAY too weird to suddenly start using one right after this conversation, too. Eyeing her smile from the corner of his eyes, he sighed a bit and coughed (or at least feigned to) into his hand. "..I guess the same goes for you, if you want to call me.. whatever. Yeah."  Smooth.

"…either way. I do think that.. both of our ‘secrets’ are fairly… non-concerning. I trust that neither of us will be tempted to murder any time soon, over it. The others, on the hand…" He closed his eyes. "…we should try to.. talk to some of them. Perhaps."

Any hint of color on his cheeks from the previous nature of the conversation was NOT real and probably a result of his exhaustion. He stifled a yawn before sticking his hands up to his hair again, as if making sure its actually tied up and not looking stupid. It looked stupid. 

[beautyqueenshsl]

Katsumi couldn't help but smile, turning away from the sprinter and heading over to the nearest mirror (she couldn't help but feel a pang of envy at how Katoko's section of the room was slightly better than hers) and setting about making herself look less like she'd been on the brink of tears only moments before. Fortunately she hadn't managed to completely wreck her makeup; it was a bit smudged, but nothing that she couldn't fix.

"Alright, WhateverYeah-san." She quipped in a teasing tone as she set about her task. There was no extra meaning to this, she supposed. There was no point forming a resistance movement with only one other member if you and the aforementioned other member weren't on first name basis - that was what she reasoned anyway, and didn't care to dwell on the matter any further. it felt natural.

"Talk to them about their secrets?" She glanced at his reflection in the mirror before turning back to her own. "You'd have to be careful there. I asked you for your secret, and gave mine, because you and I need to know that we have no need to distrust each other. We're not exactly putting ourselves in the safest of positions after all." Katsumi put one charcoal grey tissue aside and reached for another. "But as for other people... you'd have to be careful. I suppose I can't stop you if you want to, but I'd advise you to try and not be too interrogatory about it. We've got to keep this whole resistance thing as low-key as possible."

However, a thought occurred to her and she faltered, turning away from the mirror to look at him. "Speaking of other people... are you doing what I asked you to do? I do trust that you know what I'm talking about."

[global-fashions]

photos Huainan Li

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

Throughout the entire story, Kousuke stayed where he was and listened. He had stopped thinking as much about what he should be doing or saying, or how he should look for the conversation. Now he was just listening. Her words didn’t surprise him, though he had hardly expected or known any of it of course. Still, it wasn’t like she told him that she was a spy from the government here to kill Kiku or something. That much was, as bad as he felt as he looked at her condition over the sentiments, a relief. 

By the time she started to make sounds, though, sounds that he hadn’t ever imagined from the beauty queen’s mouth, he slid a bit and then stood up off of his bed. Again unsure about what to do exactly, he just let himself move without thinking. 

"……I think that you are taking this far too.. much onto yourself." He wasn’t nearly as good with his voice and his words as she was; he didn’t sound like the beam of comfort and serenity that Katsumi had been moments ago.  He seemed more awkward, yes, stiff, but still more sincere than usual. For once, less forced. By the time he made it over to the distraught girl, though she was facing away from him, he looked at her for her attention.

On his way over, he’d grabbed a single box of tissues from one of the many nice tables and surfaces around the room. Really, this place was bourgeois comfort service at its finest. Shak and Rumi probably didn’t have tissues. He gently touched the box to her shoulder as he stopped next to her, not moving to force her to look at him though. 

"You.. are not at fault for what happened to her. Your mother. I mean. She did not appreciate you for the talents you have. That is not your fault.  You are not obligated to make up for the unfortunate things that happened to her because they are not your fault either. I don’t really need to say this, I’m.. probably out of line, actually. Because,"   

Here, his uncertain tone shifted into one just as familiar to him. There was more energy to it, though it was masked by a bit of grogginess still, and the assertive tone he takes on when he says outrageous statements about revolution and dismantling the system and cracking eggs.

"You are extremely valuable. You are intelligent, powerful… extremely intimidating. Vigilant, assertive, heroic.  Many things, and you fail at none of them. You are no mistake or burden, you are extremely talented. If you have little going for you it is because you are going far too fast on your own for good fortune to catch up. It does not matter how you look.”  His eyes were serious and hardened as they were when he got really into a stupid ramble like this, and he gently tapped the box at her again. “You wish to escape this place and change the system. That is far more than any failure would desire. I believe your mother is likely very.. proud of you. Sakata- Ah. Er…”

He broke his run a bit to glance slightly, just slightly away, squinting. “Would you prefer to… not be called that?” 

[beautyqueenshsl]

Katsumi had been so wrapped up in a coil of her own self-depreciation that, whilst she did hear and register Kousuke's first words, she hardly reacted to them. Yes, it was easy to say that she was blaming herself too much, being an outside observer. But those words alone couldn't-

She visibly jumped, however, when she felt something touch her shoulder. A combination of the unexpectedness of it, her unstable state and a general dislike for being touched by anything was what caused this action, a small jitter and a flinch away from the object in question. When Katsumi saw what it was, however, she relaxed her tension. Of course she was safe here, and yet it had been instinct that dominated.

In a way that was somewhat counterproductive, it was seeing the box of tissues that caused tears to well up in her eyes. She could not conjure up a rational reason as to why such a thing happened - it just did. There was something about such a simple action that spoke volumes, that carried connotations of care and support and acceptance and everything else that she had so desperately needed in that moment of emotional weakness, that she had needed at so many points in her life when none of the above was offered.

Her watery gaze remained fixed on the tissues as he continued to speak. She said nothing, showed no signs of response - and yet she hung onto every word he said.

It was okay to forgive herself, even if her mother wouldn't. She had spent years wanting to do so, and yet had always let guilt override her desire. But now that the assurance that she needn't blame herself anymore was being offered, Katsumi was desperate to grab it. She didn't know if she really believed in everything that he was saying, or if it was even true, but she wanted to believe it.

She reached out and took the tissues, still staring at the box, and afterwards made no move to actually use them. It took a long, long time for her to finally think of a response. When she did the blonde turned to finally look at Kousuke. There were still tears in her eyes, but her expression was a composed one.

"My surname is Sakata now. I ceased to be an Aihara a long time ago, so there's no real need for a change." She paused, managing an ever so slight smile. "But if you want, then you can just call me Katsumi. Privately, mind."

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

As she moved, Kousuke merely stayed where he was and watched her. Getting up with her would have been weird and unnecessary, and moving to another spot was equally nonsensical. It wasn’t like she was going to expect him to follow her around patting her back anyway, right?  Right.  

He remained where he was as she slowly led up to what she wanted to say. Despite there being more at hand to deal with here, his eyes lingered a bit on her hair and her hands as they fidgeted. It was such an unusual state for Katsumi to be seen in, really, and he couldn’t help but sort of stare. He was usually staring, to some degree, though, so hopefully this wasnt weird. It’s not like he was judging her, or anything. Just.. not really looking away. 

This was a professional exchange. 

When she finally poured out what she did, though, his focus came back. He straightened up a bit and thought over the sentence for a second. What.. did that mean, exactly?

"….okay."  That was probably not the right thing to say. He couldn’t figure out what was, though, so that’s what he stuck to as he considered doing something more. She probably didnt really want to be interrupted, though, so he just kept looking at her, waiting. 

[beautyqueenshsl]

The very moment she'd said it, Katsumi sorely regretted it. What a ridiculous way to phrase that! Of course he wouldn't understand. There was no way that he could. It was as though all of her pent-up emotions had boiled over to make her say the least sensible thing that she could have possibly said.

"Uh, shit. Shit." She hissed. That was something else completely uncharacteristic for her to do - as a rule, Katsumi never swore unless it was absolutely necessary. She considered it to be both crude and an insult to her far more diverse vocabulary. And yet she murmured curses under her breath, running a hand through her hair as she tried to put her thoughts into a logical order that she could actually process.

"Okay, okay, that was bad to start with. Uh, guess I should explain now." She sighed, biting her lip. Oh, she hated not being certain of herself, or not even being able to fake self-confidence. She could only be glad that Kousuke was less judgmental than others on the island such as her roommate, and yet she was also aware that she needed to maintain his respect. In addition, for her own sake, Katsumi had to keep it together. Aku-chan was watching through the cameras; she couldn't afford to slip. Ever.

"Okay, so, uh... Alright, so Sakata Isao isn't my biological father. I don't know who is, to tell the truth. Besides, he's off somewhere in Scandinavia - Sweden, I think. Hanako did mention once that he was- uh, I'm getting off track." Katsumi took a moment to breathe before continuing. "Hanako was in university at the time, he was backpacking around Japan, they met in a bar both completely and utterly pissed and you can probably fill in the blanks from there."

Now that she had started, the going was easier, if only because the decision to tell the story chronologically. "So, uh, then I come along and Hanako's life falls apart. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her and she couldn't afford both education and caring for a kid, so she had to drop out. She was really, really a promising student - a genius, I'd say. She'd always say that she'd been guaranteed success in life until I happened.  I mean, we had nothing. My mother had to give up everything for my sake."

She took a slight pause before continuing, dragging her hands slowly down her face and probably managing to mess up her makeup in the process. "That's the reason we started doing the pageants in the first place - not the best source of income, no, but we needed the prize money. And I guess that's why I thought that once she married Isao that I could stop. I mean, it's not that I hated them or anything. It's just that they were taking over my life. But then-"

Katsumi choked on her words. She wanted to just stop there, but the next part was the entire foundation of her first statement. She probably looked like a mess now; she could only be grateful that she had her back turned to the sprinter. "I told her I didn't want to do them anymore and she - she started screaming. She c-couldn't believe that I'd have the audacity to say s-something like that when I'd been the one who ruined both of our lives. It was all for my own good - she wasn't going to let me be-" another sound, something of a mixture between a choke and a sob. "-a failure. And b-besides, I may as well make the most out of my looks b-because it's not like I've got much else going for me."

The beauty queen stopped, forcing herself to calm down before she ended up with an unpleasant repeat of her hysterical show in the fear room. When she next spoke her voice was small and thin. "So there you have it. Sakata Isao isn't my father. Katsumi was a mistake. I ruined my mother's life and she's never forgiven me for it."

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

Some time between Katsumi moving down to his level, which was a striking move in itself, and smiling like that, something broke within the disgruntled sprinter. Really, he just ceased to function for at least six seconds there as he stared across at her. It wasn’t like he had expected her to be cold and ruthless about it, and make fun of him, or something.  No. He didn’t really know what he expected her to do, really, but this was not it. 

"….uh. Yes, well. But.  Yes."   Good work. It hadn’t really helped his composure that she’d said just about everything perfectly. He hadn’t been seeking comfort, of course, and especially not from Katsumi, but now that she’d said what she said it all seemed to hit him very deeply. Kousuke’s face burned and the hand resting there let its fingers sprawl out to cover over parts of his eyes. He just needed a second. This was more noticeable than it might have been on another person; really, anything out of routine jostles him so much. He refused to look at her.

”..There’s no need for the.. uh. Concern. Er. Sincerity. The- that. There’s no need for that. I am quite- It is alright.”  Doing good.  He finally took his hand from his face to fumble up at his hair and try to tie it up. 

"Thank you, I mean. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind, Sakata. Just… I expect you know that there is no need to.. bring it up around others. Of course. I am fairly open about it with you, but you can consider that a privilege. I would rather avoid being thrown back into that business here, of all places."

He finally just stopped talking and focused on trying to get all his stray pieces of hair into one spot on his head, not doing a great job. He wasn’t going to straight up turn it on her and demand her secret, no, but he figured she would share it now that he had. 

[beautyqueenshsl]

Katsumi stayed there smiling before a moment before a thought struck her like an avalanche - she had made a deal, and she stuck to deals. Which meant revealing her own secret. It was entirely fair, of course; their comrade relationship had to be built upon mutual respect, and to reveal her own secret in exchange was necessary to maintain the respect in question. Besides, to leave now and know that she had cheated him would leave a bitter taste in her mouth. 

"I suppose I ought to tell you my secret now, shouldn't I?" It was a rhetorical question, as indicated by the fact that she was looking at the floor instead of the sprinter. Standing back up, she slowly moved away with her back to him as she contemplated what to do next.

How was she to say it? Should she build it up so as to have his understanding? Should she just say it off the bat and have it over and done with? Should she simply try to be flippant about it so as to avoid longer discussion? Katsumi was struggling to weigh out the pros and cons, as she tended to do with everything else in her life. To get her confession out required planning, and she had done nothing of the sort.

She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, accidentally taking it out of its updo and leaving her carefully styled blonde curls loose - something she hardly ever did outside of pageants. But here, Katsumi hardly seemed to notice. She was busy fidgeting with every accessory that she could. She was getting uncomfortably hot with her cardigan on, and yet could already tell that it would be too cold without it.

Nerves, that was what it was. For some reason it had been a long time since she had properly felt nervous about saying something, mainly because she wasn't fully resolved over it. She just had to say it. One confession. That would be easy, wouldn't it?

However, here Katsumi fell victim to one of life's most unfair and merciless rules: in times of emotional turmoil, one is prone to saying exactly the right things in order to further confuse the situation. What she said was, in every way, vocalised in a manner in which she would have never wished to phrase her confession. And yet it came tumbling out and was in the open before she could do anything to stop it.

"I ruined my mother's life."

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

"Yes." He answered simply as ever, taking the moment to straighten up again. His hand moved self consciously again to his collar, then his hair. It was too late to change, wasnt it. It’d be WEIRD now, and she was on the floor and everything, and this whole thing was so personal. Katsumi wasn’t the only one noticing it, as Kousuke realized just how far from professional this interaction was. He decided to just ignore it, after a moment, and focus on the talking point. 

"A bad politician." He picked back up like he had never stopped, though his voice sounded nearly coated in disgust as he spoke. "There’s a chance you’ve heard of him. Nojima ..Shoji. He was a Councillor for a few terms. You would have been far too young to particularly care about the government back then, so I am not surprised that my name did not give it away.” 

After shifting a bit on his bed, he folded his arms across his chest to stop from fidgeting. He was now staring at Katsumi, rather than around the room, as his tone rose in inflection and seriousness. 

"He humiliated my entire family. Especially my mother. He was an astoundingly awful member of the Diet to begin with, but I was too childish to notice that until after he ruined everything." And his moment of directness faded, illustrated with a glance to his hands.

”..He had a public affair with his… his.. office secretary, of all people, and hardly tried to keep us out of it. The news fed off of us for weeks and I can remember being on camera for months after that. Our hometown never quite let go of it. I….. hated him for doing that to us. I still do. I had done my best to try and change the meaning of our name into something more… honorable. By utilizing my own skills. But. We can all see where that has brought me.”

There was another pause here that seemed different than his usual awkwardly timed introspective trail-offs. He was covering his face, now, just a bit with his palm, as his drowsy throat tries to clear itself. That had sounded far more personal than Katsumi had really asked for. 

"Anyway. I cannot say how much of it that dragon plans on holding over my head, but it is just about the only thing I can forsee coming up. After all, I am a fairly straight-forward person as it is. You… do not have to worry about that at all. I am no Yakuza, or Phantom Thief."

[beautyqueenshsl]

To gather what Katsumi's opinion was from her expression would have been quite impossible, for her face remained unchanged throughout the whole story - at least, until its end. Then her eyes widened and she shook her head, picking herself up from the floor and walking over so as to stand in front of him. She wanted to reach out and gently pry his hand away from his face and tell him that he had no reason to be hiding it - but she didn't. But she spoke with a tenderness that many would have considered her completely incapable of.

"If the dragon wants to hold that over your head, then she's more of an idiot than we thought. Nojima, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of." She paused before adding on a repeat. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You are more than your father. What he did and the troubles he caused are for him to bear the guilt for, not you. Especially not you."

She contemplated sitting down next to him on the bed so as to be at an equal level, but immediately dismissed the thought. Instead the beauty queen crouched down so as to be closer to his eye level. There was a hint of a smile in her face, like one that a parent might give to cheer a child stung by a nettle.

"And you have changed the name. Whether it's changed public opinion or not, you've made something of yourself. You can wear that name with pride now. I know, being here on murder island, it might feel like you've achieved nothing - but you really have. And you'll go back into the world and carry on achieving. I promise you, as long as I'm still breathing I will make sure that you leave this island with every chance to keep moving forward." She tilted her head to the side, sporting a greater smile now. "And I keep my promises."

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

Just as she had reacted a moment ago, Kousuke relaxed some once he realized that Katsumi wasn’t as nervous as he’d nearly thought. Of course she wasn’t upset, scared, whatever. She was mucuh stronger than that. Her response was logical and, as far as he could tell, correct.

And so as she explained, he merely nodded here and there, resting his hands together in the space between his knees and letting his head hang some without looking as tired as he felt. His hair, in this, fell all over the fucking place like an angsty shroud. 

"I suppose I can. It is polite."  When he answered her question, he refrained from pausing like he had in silent respect for her previous state of mind. He instead straightened, finally, to flatten his palms against his legs and close his eyes in preparation. His voice stayed at the same volume, though remained the slightest bit hesitant as usual, giving him the proper Kousuke-brand awkwardness. 

"Mine is… likely about my, er, family. Well. Father. You remember him.”

[beautyqueenshsl]

"Yes, I remember. A politician, right?"

Now that she was capable of seeing past her own anxiety and franticness, Katsumi became acutely aware that she was being trusted - yes, trusted - with something that was, if his body language was anything to go by, an incredibly sensitive matter. Part of her, the part that demanded comfort and safety, was telling her to turn back on her demand now. The thought of actually having some kind of bond of trust, something special and exclusive, was daunting in comparison to the professionalism that Katsumi had previously made an effort to emphasize. How contradictory she had become - it felt as though what she wanted and what she was comfortable with were two mutually exclusive things.

The beauty queen took a few steps back to give Kousuke some space before kneeling down so as to put them on a fairly equal level.

The moment she was on the floor, a thought struck her. She couldn't predict his secret for certain - there was too large a margin of error - but when this thought hit her, she couldn't help but make a mental lineup of evidence to support the theory. It was like when fictional detectives had that moment of revelation, where every single clue seemed to slot into place for the first time.

But, unusually, she really, really hoped that her theory was incorrect. She hoped for Kousuke's sake that it was just her imagination running wild with a few small things serving as the stimulus.

Katsumi sat knelt on the floor, her gaze attentive but not demanding. Whenever he was ready to speak, she was ready to listen.

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

Kousuke watched as she stumbled through her answer, a sleepy blink here and there turning into a more serious and calm one. His face remained soft though as he listened, though. Even as she nearly dropped, then revokes that t word, he didn’t point it out any. 

"….well. Alright."  That was a simple enough answer. He agreed more externally than he really backed up with any continued action, taking another awkward pause as he now turns to find somewhere to sit. This was weird, standing there in the doorway. He spoke up again only after moving, tracking back to what she had said before he divulges anything out of the blue.

"Are you upset by Suzumiyatake’s… um. Secret. Or…. afraid of him." He asked with evenness to his tone, resting his hands onto his knees and staring up at Katsumi. "…I don’t have any surprises like that. Don’t worry, Sakata."

Now now, how to tell someone your biggest secret ever. He stopped as if he’s thinking about what to say, exactly, and let his eyes slowly drop to the wall behind Katsumi as he thought.

[beautyqueenshsl]

Upset? Afraid? Those were two words that she hadn't thought to apply. She did feel somewhat vulnerable, yes, even though her rational mind told her that she had no reason to feel as such. Katsumi supposed that she was apprehensive of Jin's moods, but to say that she was afraid of him was something different entirely. "

No." She stated, shaking her head. "Not afraid. The guy's a completely numbskull, but he's not stupid enough to murder his roommate just after his yakuza past is revealed. I mean, he may as well do that and walk around with a neon sign saying 'murder', you know? No, it's not that. It's just-" She sighed. "I never saw it coming. I was so adamant that I'd work out what he was hiding and I had no idea that it was that. What else don't I know? How terrible am I at working these things out? What else have I got wrong?"

Katsumi was fiddling with her neck scarf, biting her lip in thought. She didn't know why she was so reluctant to say her secret. On the grand scheme of things, considering what else had been revealed more publicly than this, she should have been fine. And yet the prospect of exposing something so personal and close to her, something that she had worked hard to leave as far in the dark as she could, was daunting. Perhaps she had just grown too used to keeping it as secretive as possible, so much that she had almost forgotten the fact itself.

She glanced at Kousuke. "Should I go first, or do you want to?"

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

He was waking up fast, but he remained pretty groggy through the process. Kousuke had only really been asleep a few hours before Katsumi arrived, after all. He’d tried to stay up until the murder but a body needs what it needs. Now, he was carefully walking around his room at an even tempo to her pacing, only he was trying to fix himself as he did it. A quick splash of water to the face, a few hair ties dropped on the ground, and finally an attempt to pull a second shirt on over his other shirt gave background to her contemplation while Kousuke fumbled around.

It wasn’t until her question that he stopped, put the second shirt aside, and said something.

"…….Why."    A simple question.  "..well. I can imagine why. Um."  He trailed off without offering much of an answer to that, or further questions, or… just about anything.  Now running a hand up and through his hair, as if even when faced with revealing his deepest secret, he was just a little bit self-conscious about it.

Keep in mind, at this point he was just standing a foot or so from Katsumi and staring at her serious face.

"…Will you.. tell me your secret?”    It was a very reasonable question said by the most drowsy Kousuke you’ve ever heard.  Except for the Kousuke a second ago. Again, he was waking up more by the second. 

[beautyqueenshsl]

"Why?" Katsumi repeated, just before he added the next part on. It was comforting, at the very least, that Kousuke had some understanding of her demand. She was constantly looking towards the door, apprehensive that his roommate could wander in at any moment and she would have to manufacture an explanation besides 'oh we're just casually running a resistance movement against Aku-chan, no big deal'.

She knew why, and she knew that for this reason she should do the same for him in return. It shouldn't have even required him to ask - if Katsumi really was committed, she would have included it in the original bargain anyway. She at least owed it to him to be fair, didn't she? But nothing had been fair between them, really.She kept asking for favour after favour and he had so far asked for nothing in return. It was not only unjust, but she was ashamed at the thought - Katsumi had always been so fiercely independent.

"Look, Nojima-san-" The blonde spoke slowly, avoiding eye contact. "We've already done some pretty risky stuff. You moreso than me, I guess. We committed to this resistance... thing, and there's a high chance that it might not end well."

She breathed in and out slowly, maintaining her calmness. "My point is, we're in this together now. And in that case, I want to know that I can tr-" Katsumi paused before backtracking, "I want to know that I shouldn't distrust you. And if secrets get in the way - I don't want that. I don't want Aku-chan to drive us apart."

Katsumi's speech was remarkably more stunted than usual, full of uncharacteristic pauses and hesitations. She somehow sounded much younger than usual. "And for crying out loud, my roommate is from a yakuza family and I never could have guessed it. Can you blame me for wanting to make sure that I don't get any more surprises like that?"

She left a long, long pause before finally turning to look at him. There was no attempt to keep up any image now, just a pure genuine expression of solidarity. "My secret - well, it's no Phantom thief scandal, if that's what you're expecting. But if you truly want me to do so, then I will tell you. I owe you that much."

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

[shslsanic]

Now, Kousuke’s presence at the door may be comforting to Katsumi for many reasons. Perhaps because he isn’t his roommate, who alone may be strange to greet in the early evening with no real excuse as to why she was here for the sprinter. Perhaps, also, because he was some sort of important to her current status of trapped in murderville. Perhaps he was just a cool guy. Who can really say why exactly Katsumi would be relieved to see the boy, when what was far more important is the fact that this was the most embarrassing state she had ever seen him in, including being passed out on the floor of the trial room. 

 Only after an awkwardly long period of knocking did he actually open it up, standing between the door and its frame now, and staring at the beauty queen. Kousuke’s hair was most immediately noticeable as untied, and messily pushed almost entirely to one side of his head in a large floof. He had tried to subdue it at the last second, it seems, but only proceeded in flattening the top part of the floof in the least helpful manner possible.  In addition, rather than his usual uncomfortable gaggle of snug clothes and jackets, he just had a plain grey t-shirt and black shorts. The hazy way he blinked at Katsumi before speaking made it clear that he had just torn himself out of a very deep and very shameful mid-day nap. Only capitalists sleep past noon. 

"….Right.  Hello, Sakata."  Good start. His realization as to who was at the door made it all the worse that he answered it in this condition, and he was already rubbing his palms at his face to force himself up and awake. Sleeping? Haha, not him. He had been doing push ups or something.

"Y..es. No, now is fine. Omonokeda is out, so.. now is probably the best time, yeah. Apologies for the mess."

His room was the second best, after all, so it was really hard to make the place look bad. The only thing really out of place was his half-made bed and a single sock on the floor.

[beautyqueenshsl]

Ordinarily, Katsumi would have scrutinized every single aspect of Kousuke's disheveled appearance. He looked like he had just crawled out from a five day nap in a cardboard box- in contrast, she was a girl so obsessed with looking good that she brushed her hair for at least fifteen minutes before going to bed. And yet she just strode past him into the room and proceeded to pace back and forth (as she had developed quite the tendency to do lately). It was as if, upon passing the threshold, Katsumi had thrown away all pretenses that she was calm and in control.

"I'm sorry to have woken you up. I just - I just- ugh..." Her words were failing her. She could feel herself cracking, just envision Aku-chan watching through the cameras and laughing triumphantly. Katsumi hadn't broken, oh no, not yet and hopefully never - but she was certainly the most erratic and distressed that she had been since the fear room. At least with Mori she had been in control, regardless of how painful the experience had been for her. But now she felt like flotsam on a turbulent ocean.

She stopped herself from pacing and forced herself to focus on the matter at hand. She had come to Kousuke's room for two purposes and was currently fulfilling neither of them. Katsumi couldn't afford to slip - she just couldn't, had never allowed herself to and wasn't planning on changing that habit anytime soon.

So she forced herself to stand still for a few seconds before coming closer, looking at the sprinter with grave seriousness.

"I need you to tell me your secret."

[beautyqueenshsl]

Always Running Out of Time | Kousuke

It was early evening when she knocked at the door of Kousuke's room, looking around warily for passers by. It wasn't like she had anything to hide, per se, but she would rather keep their two-person resistance as low key as possible for as long as they could. All else aside, she couldn't be bothered with dealing with the inane gossip that could possibly spring as a result. Keeping a secret from Aku-chan was impossible, especially in this period of exposure, but she'd still rather not broadcast anything.

She began to tap her foot impatiently, sharply rapping on the door. What if he wasn't there? Katsumi really didn't feel like going on a random chase around three islands. But at the same time, she felt as though postponing this meeting any later would be a bad idea. She had to do this as soon as possible, regardless of the practicality.

Fortunately for her, the door opened and she recognised, fortunately enough, that the one opening it was a sprinter and not a gravure idol. Relief flashed across her face before being replaced with businesslike seriousness, However, her wringing of her hands betrayed her nerves, and she spoke with a hasty tone.

"Can I come in? Or we can go somewhere else if you want. We need to talk, Nojima-san, and I'd prefer to do it sooner rather than later."

[whereiseefashion]

Match #220

Shoes designed by Lauren Tennenbaum | Quartz (Silicon Dioxide) from Minas Gerais, Brazil

More matches here

[beautyqueenshsl]

Of Dragon Tattoos | Jin

[shslshamisenrockarchive]

Well. Katsumi hated him, he was sure, just as much as he hated her. They had been at each other’s throats right from the first day here. And she only had a single syllable for him. And fuck, the tapping sound was drilling into his head-!

In a rush Jin snapped upright- “Well!?” he bellowed, ripping into the stillness of the room with a voice tailored specifically to fill every last corner of a space. Breath leapt from shallow to heavy and he glared at her with the savagery of a feral animal.

"Is that all you have to say?" he cried, "Miss queen of the fuckin’ universe is speechless, is she? You always have some garbage to spew from your mouth, but you run out now, of all times?”

"You know! They all know! Everyone knows!" he continued, veins visible in his forehead, and the flush blooming in his cheeks only intensified the off-colour green of his eyes. "Are you happy? Are you happy, Sakata, now that you know what’s in here-?" he stabbed at a chunk of his bare chest with one fingernail- "Because now you know and you’ve locked me in here and you must have something to say!”

And just like that, the anger was gone, and Jin deflated and his face softened and he broke eye contact. His voice was quiet again, a whisper. “That’s somehow disappointing.”

[beautyqueenshsl]

Had she not taken valuable time to compose herself from her prior frenzied state, Katsumi might have flinched at Jin’s wild fury being essentially hurled at her from across the room. But she didn’t. Of all her skills, maintaining outward appearances was perhaps the most potent, and never did it show more clearly than in that confrontation. It was difficult to keep up, yes, but even now she was getting the desired results. She just had to keep herself calm, that was all.

Now content that he would not attempt to leave for at least a few more minutes, Katsumi left her space by the door, calmly making her way over to her own bed and sitting down on it, not even casting a glance in Jin’s direction. Once sat, she reached to the bottle on her bedside table and began to absentmindedly paint her nails a deep pink, as though she was not currently alone in a room with a highly strung yakuza failure. It was as much part of her plan as it was a technique for her to retain her coolness.

“Why does it matter if I say anything?” She asked as she worked, careful to be as neat as possible. “You’ve never valued my opinion before, and I don’t reckon that’s changed. I’m nothing to you, so what would be the point?”

[beautyqueenshsl]

Of Dragon Tattoos | Jin

[shslshamisenrockarchive]

Jin was in a really bad mood, as one might have expected. For starters he had no idea that that had even been filmed, which was insulting as it was. But to show his embarrassment publicly like that… that was low.

He had figured Katsumi would want to get all up in face about it so he hadn’t gone to their room immediately; he had spent a little while jamming out rather aggressively, trying to strum away the worst of the pain and anger and humiliation.

It felt weird not having the little plastic finger on his hand. Looking down at the scarred stub, missing its last knuckle, made him sick. It had been so hard to adjust to playing without it - that was the hand in charge of the frets, for fuck’s sake, he needed all four of those fingers.

The door clicked shut behind him as he entered the room but he didn’t care. He had figured she’d be waiting. He threw himself down on his bed, landing on his back, spread-eagled, his haori spread out under him and spilling off the sides.

"Well?" he said at last, staring at the ceiling. His voice sounded hollow, beaten. Careful inspection would show that his eye makeup had run and been rather poorly cleaned up.

He raised one mangled hand and wiggled his fingers. “Well?” he repeated.

[beautyqueenshsl]

She didn't speak. Usually Katsumi would have launched into an entire monologue by now - but she remained silent. Both were remarkably different from their normal selves. Jin seemed full of none of the gall, dynamism and ego that made him her intolerable roommate. She didn't like this hollow shell at all. He couldn't lose all his vivacity this soon; he wouldn't last that way, and as much as she despised being in his presence Katsumi did not wish death upon the shamisen player in any way.

The blonde leaned against the door, arms folded and eyes scrutinizing. What did he want her to do? Rant in anger about him keeping a secret that he had every right to keep confidential - especially to the girl with whom she shared a mutual hatred? Pretend that she 'understood' what he was going through? Chuck out a few consoling words and then walk away, patting herself on the back for being a good person? The thought of doing any of the above sickened her.

She relaxed her arms, one hand absentmindedly drumming a beat onto its wood. Katsumi liked that it filled the silence. As of late, she'd been struggling to decide which was more comforting - silence or noise.

Well, silence from Jin Suzumiyatake was certainly worrying. She maintained the same impassive expression before repeating and ceasing her tapping.

"Well."

[beautyqueenshsl]

Of Dragon Tattoos | Jin

Click-clack, click-clack, click-clack

The sound was constant and unfaltering in its rhythm, sans the brief pause here and there. Just hearing her heels against the bathroom tiles in an otherwise deafening silence was enough to give Katsumi a horrendous headache, mixing with her thoughts to form a complex concoction that she was struggling to separate into its individual components.

Even though every rational part of her mind knew that it was counterproductive, she could feel herself growing frenzied as she continued to pace the locked bathroom, wringing her hands. She'd been losing grip a lot more than usual lately, and it was beginning to be a problem, like when she'd- no, no, she had something more important to focus on.

This was different, however, because for the first time Katsumi felt personally vulnerable. Of course, the secret of Jin's yakuza past being blown out of the water would theoretically be cause for him to try and clean up his act, put forward an image of innocence. She should have been satisfied that she finally knew the secret that had been so frustratingly elusive, and yet all she could seem to think of were worst case scenarios. He could become paranoid and think that they were after him, that she was out for his blood, and decide to strike first; or maybe he would snap if she brought up the subject, and he would act on impulse; or perhaps somebody would decide to 'deal justice' and kill him, only to frame- he hated her, loathed her, and she couldn't help but think of just how easy it would be for him to kill her.

Katsumi caught sight of herself in the mirror. Somewhere along the line in the midst of her thoughts she had managed to smudge her mascara, and now a charcoal smear had been spread across one eye. Seeing this, Katsumi forced herself to start breathing regularly again. She could do make-up, but she'd need a steady hand - no point getting hysterical then, was there?

She would only work upon fact. Fact number one: Jin Suzumiyatake was from a yakuza family. Fact number two: he had suffered dismemberment at the hands of his own father for some great mistake. Fact number three: he was her roommate.

The beauty queen had to keep calm. That was key. Rationally speaking, she had nothing to fear. Jin was not a complete idiot and knew the implications that his past had. Surely he wouldn't be so stupid as to stir up conflict so soon after the reveal.

By the time that Jin returned to their room, Katsumi was completely composed - she was leaning against the wall directly next to the door, and once he had stepped inside she reached out to close it behind him. There was silence sans the soft thunk of the closing door. Her face was impassive, and she said nothing: Katsumi simply stared, moving to block the door. He could ignore her if he liked. She had all the time in the world.

[beautyqueenshsl]

The Skeletons that Loom | Motive Reaction

Katsumi had always known that this was coming, but that didn't make her any less apprehensive of what lay ahead.

Both previous mutual killing games had employed a 'darkest secrets' motive at around this point - because it worked. It was a foolproof tactic for a whole host of reasons. Generating mistrust for each other, paranoia about when their own most carefully hidden secrets would be brought to light, revelations that ranged from the mundane to the murderous. Just its very existence was enough to sow seeds of suspicion among the students, because it confirmed that there were indeed people within their group who had things to be ashamed of. Most morbidly of all, it actually made people hope for a death, desperate deep down for the motive to end before they were exposed.

Ironically enough, Katsumi was perhaps the least affected by this, purely because she had never fully trusted anyone in the first place. Besides, she had read enough crime fiction and seen enough mutual killing to know that yes, there would be metaphorical skeletons hidden in secluded closets and that eventually they would indeed be brought to light. She was prepared for that.

Even so, she could not help but direct an icy glare in the direction of Yamanami Nagisa, and feel a swell of self-righteousness. Of course she had been right - smiles and all, to have had confidence in him would have been preposterous. He had always made her feel uneasy, and few were capable of such a thing. Katsumi made a mental note to confront him at her next convenience: no way was she letting him carry on witholding vital information from them. If they had a SHSL assassin or something of the sort on the island, then she wanted to know.

She made sure to walk around with her head held high following the motive reveal. Let everybody know that Katsumi Sakata had nothing to hide and that, even if they couldn't, she could carry herself with pride.

[shsl-networker]

Baby, you're a star (Katsumi)

Despite the new areas being available for exploration, Manga couldn’t quite forget the lost opportunity he’d missed out on - and lost opportunities with Manga were like needles in his side. He was of course thinking of the lovely Katsumi Sakata.

Eyeing each hallway, and ears perked waiting for the ever familiar sound of her clacking heels, Manga had foolishly let the chance slip time after time to ingratiate himself into her esteemed company. But it was time to remedy this.

After all~ there’d been a ton of deaths, it’d been days - it was about time for the fuzz to show up - any day now, he reckoned. Which meant he ought to get his skates on if he wanted to get acquainted with any of these other lucky guys and gals before the sirens started flaring and everyone blew this joint.

Good things come to those who wait, and Manga was glad to hear the sound of those heels clicking across the patio of the rose garden. Taking that initial few seconds to collect his thoughts, Manga then turned round and faced her with a smile. Let’s see how far I get with a few well aimed compliments~

"Oh! Hey, it’s Katsumi Sakata right?" He made a big show of looking her up and down, then turned away seemingly abashed. "W-ow, don’t take this the wrong way - I mean, I don’t wanna come across as one of those skeevy guys with a million and one pick-up lines, but god you are gorgeous." He grimaced.

"Y-e-a-h, that didn’t come out right at all. Ugh, I’m sorry Kat - can I call you Kat? I’m just uh, a little starstruck - Haha, you know, s’not every day you meet such a bombshell! But yeah, my bad." He waved his hands about. "You probably came here to be by yourself, huh?" He again looked away, scratching his head. "Sorry for getting in your way."

Nailed it! Manga thought smugly.

[beautyqueenshsl]

As of late the rose garden had become something of a retreat for Katsumi. She was conscious, of course, that even there Aku-chan was watching her; but at least it gave her some fresh air and put her far away from shamisen players, music producers and all of their kin that she disliked. It was a relaxing sanctuary in this generally stressful environment. She would come, often with a book to read, and usually spend her time completely undisturbed.

She was anticipating one such afternoon, complete with a copy of The Devotion of Suspect X tucked under her arm, courtesy of the island's library. However, seeing a shock of bright red hair that could only belong to one certain individual spoiled any hopes she had of peace and quiet, and Katsumi was just about to leave in the hopes that Manga had not heard her approach when he turned around to face her.

As he spoke, his bashful manner a far cry from his pronounced arrogance at the trial, she watched with a cold yet curious gaze that became far more the former when he uttered one word in particular. As he continued to talk - layering on the pointless compliments until they were thick enough to choke on and even having the audacity to not only use her first name, but a contracted form of her first name with absolutely no honorific - her expression shifted until it reached the point where the beauty queen would have been unable to look more unimpressed if she tried. She raised an eyebrow.

"No, it is not okay to call me Kat. I assure you, Sakata-san will suffice." The 's' sounds of her name almost came out like a hiss. "And thank you. Considering that I am a successful model and pageant queen renowned across Japan for her beauty to the extent that it is even her super high school level talent, I really needed your comments to validate that I am, indeed, gorgeous. Thank you for confirming what I obviously did not know."

Were sarcasm a weapon, Katsumi had used it so gratuitously that Manga would be the mutual killing game's fifth casualty. To put it bluntly, she did not like the networker - to whom she had bestowed the title 'Parasite-san' - one bit. He was far too cocky in the trial, derailing it with his inane comments. Plus he had gone too far with criticizing Mori; Katsumi let nothing of the sort slip past her radar. Even his sudden shift in manner did little to win her over. Katsumi knew when people were trying to take advantage of her, having experienced such attempts far too often. She held grudges and was not going to let go of them for a phoney.

However, she did have aims of her own, and a plan that she had been forming ever since she had learned of Ichimonji Manga's talent and what it entailed. So (as she reminded herself) if she was to put this plan into action, then she had to at least soften her harshness, if not temporarily hide it until she had him on her side. That was easy, of course. She had practically charmed half the teenage population of a nation - how difficult could one guy be?

Therefore, despite wanting to walk straight away, Katsumi released her tension and offered a slight smile. "Sorry if that was too harsh. A girl's got to demand respect, you know? I'm not normally that cold, really - I guess the pressure of this place is starting to get to me. Doesn't help that I've got nobody to talk to." She sighed, perhaps a bit too dramatically. "There's no need to go. Sit down. We haven't become properly acquainted yet; I say we should remedy that before making any judgments. Unless you have somewhere better to be, that is."