if you don’t love yourself, read this. please.
You don’t love a person because they’re perfect. No one is close to perfection. Neither do you love them because they’re “perfectly imperfect” - nope, none of that crap.
You love a person instead because they try to be perfect. That’s the breakthrough.
You fall madly for the little things they do. You love them because they share their stationary supplies even with someone they don’t particularly like just because they feel they should be a little more kind. You love them because they remind their friends that they’re loved at least five times a week. You love them because they try so hard to make people around them feel included, even when it’s hard to do, but they do it because they can’t let anyone feel left out or alone. You love them because they try to get this self care thing down, combing their wild hair, moisturizing, doing all of that even though they aren’t crazy about it.
You don’t love them because they’re the kindest, most loving, humblest and self-respecting entity you’ve come across, because you know they aren’t and can’t ever be. You love them because they strive to be perfect.
You fall in love with them because in doing so, they bravely step into new territory, trump their limitations, and get just a little bit better each day. And to you, that genuine effort to grow is reason enough.
This completely changed my attitude towards self love. I had always, always, told others proud and loud that I loved myself madly, yet whenever I was alone a small, negative, sadistic voice would begin pointing out all my flaws and weaknesses. This voice was so faint that at first I was able to ignore it, but soon I realized I couldn’t continue on like this.
On one of my worst days, I realized I didn’t have to be the perfect version of me that I had envisioned in my utopian mind to fully accept myself. I didn’t have to listen to that fallacious voice telling me I was arrogant or unkind, and hence unworthy of love.
I could also fall for the little things I did that melted away my flaws. I could love myself, not because I was the most selfless person around, but because I tried my best to be more warm-hearted and open-handed everyday; I made others comfortable, I influenced others to find their gifts and strengths. I could love myself, not because I was the humblest, but because I always locked away my ego when I knew I was in the wrong.
I realized I could fall for myself the way I had fallen for my past lovers and friends. I could carefully note the small things I did, and love myself because I tried to brush past my flaws each day – just like I’d noted and loved the things that the people I loved did.
The thing is, no one is perfect. No one will ever be. There’s a saying that goes like this: “Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.” Those who chase it will never, EVER be able to accept themselves. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t look at your flaws and conclude that you don’t deserve love. Instead, find fulfillment in reaching for a better vision of you.
Love yourself because you try, try so hard, to get close to your perfect. Tell yourself that that is reason enough for a person to be loved. That that is what makes you truly flawless, inside and out.
I finally realized I could love myself just for the reasons I had fallen in love with the other people in my life.
I finally realized I could love myself.
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