There are three things I check before starting to play with someone:
They understand consent and that if they say 'no' or 'stop' then whatever I am doing to them stops.
That they can communicate what they enjoy or do not, so that common ground may be found between us.
That they are free to be played with as I please, and that any of their existing partners are happy for Me to do so.
I should not be finding out, after the fact, that they wanted something to stop and did not say anything. I expect communication between Me and My playthings to be ongoing about how different play made them feel. I especially shouldn't be finding out after playing with someone that they are in fact already owned by their partner and are in trouble for playing with Me.
Kink can be complicated enough without clear orders of operation in place to ensure that even as a dominant sadist who enjoys taking control of others completely I am not undermining the agency or relationships of those I play with. I would rather spare Myself those complications, and the embarrassment of overstepping with those I play with. I think these three checks are enough, though as ever, I cannot grow complacent in following through with them.
