PLEASE READ ME I AM IMPORTANT AND MAY CHANGE YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT.c
Holy Christ did I need to be able to just lay this all down somewhere so I can get my thoughts organized.
Rewind to several months ago when my ex and I decided to separate. Let me just go on the record to say that was the best decision I had made for myself in over four years. FOUR. YEARS.
I spent the last three years playing second fiddle to someone who did not value me like I thought I deserved. But this isn’t me bashing him, because he cared for me in the only way he knew how. My point I wanted to make here for all of my friends who are with guys who don’t treat them like they feel they deserve: DO. NOT. SETTLE.
Many of my friends are beautiful unicorns who deserve to be treated as the majestic creatures you are. We are young, we have so much life ahead of us and we don’t need to meet someone who wants to be with us to find happiness. I see it on here and on Facebook and hell, even when I’m talking to a few of you guys;
WELL I’M HERE TO TELL YOU OTHERWISE.
Rewind again to last year when literally everyone was telling me to walk away from my marriage. But good ‘ol me was like, “Naw, I can make it work. I don’t want to be alone because that’s what I’m gonna be is alone if I leave.”
I know it. You’re sitting there telling yourself the same thing. I told myself it over and over and over again. I replayed the few good moments in my relationship so I could forget the bad moments that seemed to be multiplying as time went on. I know that most of you guys are doing that, too. But why would you torture yourself like that? Hell, why did I do it? Because we’re young and in love and we think love is the most important thing in our lives right now. Which, don’t get me wrong, it is. But we’re confusing what kind of love is the most important:
Loving ourselves. It took me over a year of my life to muster up the courage to stand up for myself and walk away from a toxic relationship that changed me into a horrible person. And once I did, once I finally convinced myself enough was enough, I could breathe again.
I’m not even kidding you, it was a literal breath of fresh air once I walked away. I got into my car and cried so hard not because I was sad it was ending, but because I was sad that I allowed myself to feel so small for so long and I could finally see there was more to life than what I was living.
Basically, I’m here to tell you that if you feel like you’re not being treated the way you feel you deserve to be treated, please do yourself a favor and walk away. You are beautiful and have so much life left to live (this goes out to the guys, too, who are in toxic relationships; don’t think I forgot about you !) Please don’t waste your time on sadness and pain. Do the things you set out to do because you only live one time and you’re going to regret every missed opportunity.
My short story ends a little differently because I met someone who became my best friend through the entire process. He helped me through the hardest two months of my life and has been by my side since I walked away and has watched me slowly recover the missing pieces of myself (along with giving me the opportunity to add new pieces). He gets me and for the first time in my entire life, I don’t feel like I have to pretend at all. I am 100% me and he loves every single piece. He has pushed me to doing things for myself that I couldn’t do before and helped me realize what I wanted to do with my life and I seriously could never thank this human being enough for being such a positive influence on my life and loving me the way he does. Not that you have a Tumblr, baby, but thank you for everything. You are amazing and I cannot wait to see where this life takes us.
