let you down

i wish that i could say i'm proud; i'm sorry that i let you down. all these voices in my head get loud, i wish i could shut them out.

[becksummers-blog]

maxrivcra‌:

“that sounds great. whatever you’ve got smells absolutely amazing,” she practically tip toed over closer to the food, taking in all the smells and sights. her eyes lit up at the sight of her full plate. “wow i’m pretty honored, custom just for me,” she breathed out softly. she thought for a moment about all of her options, “wine is just fine for me. i’m a simple girl with simple likes.” maxine rivera was anything but simple, but she could pretend for now. she followed him over to the living room. max sat down on the couch and left just a little space between them but only a little.

“there’s no need for apologies, it’s perfect,” she remarked. max stretched out a took a small sip from her glass. “i m very happy to be here in your humble. today was just busy enough. but i ah i think this is a pretty great ending to it.” she took another quick sip from her class, unsure of whether that comment was appropriate. 

“yeah?” beck grinned, happy that everything was up to par for max. although he knew she was used to the FINEST things in life, the best that money could buy, he didn’t necessarily feel like he had to roll out the red carpet ( literally ) for her: of course, he would do his best, but money didn’t always equate the amount of care behind the actions. “‘m glad. you can be brutal and tell me what you think of my cooking,” he added, tilting his head. the male himself dug into his plate and took a bite as he listened to her speak, before dabbing his mouth with a napkin so he could respond mess-free. “yeah, me and my four roommates sure make this place cozy, but i like it. i was an only child, so you know, getting that busy home life kind of feels nice. always someone around, for the most part,” he commented. at her words, he met her eyes with a softer more sincere smile. “this is a great ending to it. ‘m glad i finally had you over and broke you out of that office again,” he teased lightly. “you wanna watch anything in particular?”

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maxrivcra‌:

max felt almost nervous as she drove herself over to beck’s place. this wasn’t a familiar feeling to her. she had been trained and groomed her entire life to exude confidence (or how to fake it if she wasn’t feeling confident). but she was definitely having a difficult time with this. but somehow just being around beck broke down that outer layer of confidence that she had built up. while she did want to be confident and sure of herself around him, he made her feel as if she didn’t always have to be. there were very few people that max could say that about.

she took a quick breath before knocking several times on his door, her grin growing to match his. “it’s beautiful, and incredibly easy to find,” she spoke calmly and took a few steps into the apartment. “italian food sounds wonderful.” max nodded. she couldn’t remember the last time anyone had made a home cooked meal for her (except for jude, of course). she had never met someone who would cook for her on a date, or was this not a date? she hadn’t really decided in her head and was hesitant to bring it up with beck. she let out a soft laugh at his joke and spoke again, “thank you.” she ran her hands down her skirt, trying to keep it laying flat. “anything sounds great to me,” she smiled and took a few more steps, watching him as he worked. 

“yeah? good. well, i’ll get you a plate,” beck grinned, moving quickly to serve max a careful amount of each item: the fettucini, vegetables, and mozzarella sticks. he put the plate up on the bar that separated them for her to take. “one homemade meal, custom for max rivera, coming right up,” he teased lightly. “what sort of drink would you like? i have some whiskey, some wine, some sparkling water, some italian soda...” beck listed off, shuffling from foot to foot as he awaited her response. upon hearing it and pouring her a glass ( and one for himself, for good measure ) he carried both over to the living room, setting them down on the coffee table. 

“sorry it’s a bit informal. i thought it’d be comfortable for eating and netflixing, though,” beck remarked, scrunching his nose a bit. “‘m glad you finally made it over. did you, ah-- have a pretty alright day? not too busy or anything, i hope?”

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doramaguire‌:

❝ it’s one of the craziest customer service things i’ve ever experienced in my life that’s for sure, ❞ she sighed “ well you got most of it right, but think blonde and looking like she just got off some kind of four day weekend in mykonos, or just a really bad spray tan.” she grinned, “well i think one of my weirdest was when someone asked for a coffin shaped cake, and we didn’t know if they were mourning the death or celebrating it. god, i’m a horrible person for laughing at that right?”

“i doubt it was mykonos. if she was easily confused with a cheap spray tan. ‘s lovely there in the summer,” beck recalled, picturing the vacation spot in his mind. beck shook his head with a laugh, putting a hand to his forehead. “no, no, that’s not bad at all. or maybe it is, and i’m horrid too,” he shrugged. “were you able to make it? what words do you even get on that sort of cake? i bet the customer picking that up was certainly a bit irregular, too.”

[becksummers-blog]

IF THESE WERE DATES, this would’ve been their fourth date. not that beck was counting because they weren’t dates. they were just hanging out: in her office, for lunch, stargazing at camp. and this couldn’t be a date, because they were just eating in on beck’s couch, watching... well, that hadn’t been decided yet. but it didn’t matter. should it? beck asked himself, then shook his head, concentrating on pouring himself a drink and getting out plates for dinner. he had made just a simple fettucini alfredo with mozzarella sticks, which sounded good, but now he was just a touch concerned as to whether max would like it or not-- 

a knock came from the door. too late now. the taller male made his way to the door and opened it wide, smiling at the girl standing on the other side. 

“welcome to my humble abode. i’m glad to see you could find it.” he greeted her. beck motioned for her to come inside, then closed the door behind her, leading her to his living room and kitchen space. “so, ah, i made some italian for dinner, i hope that’s alright-- if not, we could absolutely order something else, but. make yourself at home. netflix and hulu are waiting, yknow, although they’re very patient guests.” he wrinkled his nose at his bad joke. “sorry. you look nice,” he commented, then quickly focused on tidying before asking-- “so, do you want a drink, or some food, or anything?” @maxrivcra

[doramaguire-deactivated20190807]

❝ so earlier today some girl came in to the bakery counter and asked to order one of our ice-cream cakes with ‘happy birthday daddy’ in icing on it, which would have been innocent enough. but she then topped it off with a special request for us to draw not one, but three eggplant emojis. which meant it was definitely not for her father…and if i didn’t need the money so badly, i would have walked out right then and there. ❞

[becksummers-blog]

“that’s actually nearly revolting,” beck remarked, scoffing and shaking his head. the sort of story didn’t surprise him, but it certainly dismayed the male. “what was she like when she came to pick it up? i’m imagining high heels, i think, and too-strong perfume.” he joked lightly, picturing it. “is that the weirdest request you’ve gotten?

[becksummers-blog]

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve broken?

probably a vase of my mum’s when i was like fourteen and playing soccer inside when i should’nt’ve been. it was a really old antique one, cost like a thousand pounds, she was right pissed. 

[becksummers-blog]

is there anyone you'd like to spend more time with/get to know better?

i’d certainly like to get to know max and mateo better. 

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What was your superlative in high school yearbook?

most likely to coach a premier league team. probably because i assistant coached the secondary school boys’ team, and we came in first in the district league.

[becksummers-blog]

judasmoody:

– “CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?” jude added with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “fishing! while camping out in the woods! isn’t that just the most downright american thing you’ve ever heard?” he shook his head in disbelief, dusting a bit of dirt off the sleeve of his jacket. “—–well, i’d say —- if it’s up to me, now —- i say we try it out. i’d like to see what’s so entertaining about catching fish just to say you caught one and letting them go on their merry way afterwards.”

“‘ve been fishing with some of my mates from cambridge back home, but ‘s just so different here. the forest-- woods-- is completely a different kind of landscape, mate, and different fish too, of course.” beck nodded with equal excitement. “oy, good on you! let’s do it. fishing, get our real american on. me too, although i think... i mean, i can use the grill, and i know you can, of course, you professional cook you... we might be able to cook something we catch. just one, maybe, but they say there’s nothing like it,” beck said, a note of wonder to his voice. “i’ll grab rods and bait.”

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mckvnley:

her eyebrows quirk once beck begins to speak. “fishing is really an american thing to do,” her nods scrunches up at the thought of it. kinley was never really one to be with nature, be outside for more than what she’s needed and the fact there were buds among other things? no thanks. “hiking is fun if you don’t mind your legs hurting the next day. not too sure about trails here, but i’m sure there’s some if you look around. or ask around, i’m sure one of the officers would be able to tell you where they start.”

“hiking’s definitely a good workout. you’re not a fan?” beck asked, curious. she didn’t seem too thrilled at any of the options he’d presented, but he knew the outdoors wasn’t for everyone. “how’re you liking the trip?”

[becksummers-blog]

maxrivcra:

max had a pair of sweatpants on paired with a matching set of tennis shoes. this was definitely not a normal look for her, but she was willing to try this whole wilderness adventure thing. “you can’t decide what to do, huh?” max thought for a moment and looked around them. “i think that going on a hike sounds like a pretty good place to start.” how was she liking it here? the great outdoors definitely wasn’t her forte but did she have to tell him all of that? “it’s very different from the world i’m used to, but i guess i don’t mind it.” her smile mirrored his and widened. “–– and the answer is yes, i’ll go with you.” 

“a hike sounds good. there are a few trails here that i think don’t look to bad, with good and scenic views,” beck agreed, looking down at the map he’d been handed upon arrival and tracing a few with his index finger. “it’s just all great stuff, you know, ‘m absolutely chuffed to be here,” he grinned, meeting her gaze again at her acceptance of his invitation. “on the hike or stargazing? ‘m hoping it’s both, but turn me down if you must,” he feigned a sigh. “it’ll certainly be a good time, especially with such good company.” he remarked, referring to her. “and snacks.”

[becksummers-blog]

daniellemontgomery:

Pursing her lips as she listened to the options he had come up with, she couldn’t help but smile soon after his comment about fishing. “I guess fishing is a fairly American thing to do while camping. But, if it were me, I would say that you should go out on the water. It’s such a nice day, and I’ve heard there are a few really cool waterfalls that you can actually only get to from the water.” That was what she was the most excited about, she had a map in her backpack and everything. “Or you could go fishing- but I think that’s something most people go out really early in the morning to do, and I just don’t think it’s worth it.”

“really? that sounds fantastic, have you gone?” beck asked, intrigued. he probably should’ve studied the maps or pamphlets a bit more, truthfully, but he just wanted to get outside. “do you know why that’s an early morning thing? i hadn’t heard that, but i’m sure you’re right. not one for fishing?”

[becksummers-blog]

Outside of your family members, who are you closest with in Halston?

i’d have to say @judasmoody, and @ofmorris, because us brits do it best... but yeah, them, and also @stellawestbrook, ‘course, and @elleehart, as my roommates.

[becksummers-blog]

do you ever miss britain?

yes, absolutely. my mum and her family’s there, and there’s just nothing quite like it. i hope to go back at least for a visit soon.

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maxrivcra:

max stood close to beck and listened to him speak. this weekend definitely was not her ideal vacation but she was willing to give it a try. she nodded her head as beck listed all of his options for the weekend. “well you certainly do have a lot to chose from,” max smiled and crossed her arms. “we will be here all weekend i think that you may have time to do all of that, if you budget your time right of course.” she thought for a moment about whether he’d missed any options. “well this doesn’t work right now but later on you could go stargazing. that is always a great idea.” 

beck had to admit to himself he was a bit surprised to see max in this element; it certainly wasn’t quite as much hers as her towering offices, but she seemed to be trying and succeeding. “but of course. i just can’t decide which to do first. what would you do-- if you were me?” beck asked, eyebrow raised with a slight smirk. “if you like these sorts of things, anyways. how are you liking it out here?” he nodded slowly, smile widening. “that does sound absolutely lovely. i think i’ll have to do that,” he agreed. “perhaps with the right company.”

[becksummers-blog]

“help me decide,” beck began, hands stuck into his pockets as he considered his options of what to do. “i was thinking of maybe going canoeing or kayaking, to get some time on the water and explore-- plus it’s a good workout-- or maybe going for a hike, for the same reasons, really, minus the water. or fishing, because, as i’m told, that’s quite an american thing to do while camping,” he noted, head nodding side to side with each option he thought aloud. the brit had never been camping there in the states, having only ventured on such an excursion during the mild english summers with university mates. “or, i mean, if you have any suggestions, ‘m all ears.”