life is pretty trichy

bela | anxiety, depression, trichotillomania | currently growing

[melindacarolinee]

[subliming]

[ipoetried]

Today, I learned an important lesson from my therapist.

At the end of our hour, she told me that although I’ve been hurt and broken badly, she can see I still have parts that aren’t shattered. 

I laughed lightly and I said “Yeah, one day that will be all of me, no parts shattered anymore”,

And she said “No, it won’t.”

And, for a second, I felt my heart break - but she continued.

“But it will be the most dominant part of you. Think of your body - if you break your shoulder, even after it heals it will be tender. It will be a sore spot. You will be careful with it. There will be a gentleness when you care for it. If you crack a rib, laughing will hurt and, even after there is no longer a fracture, you may laugh lighter just in case. You can heal, but it is okay to be aware of the parts of you that once hurt the most. The most important thing to know is that where there is tenderness, let there be gentleness.”

[trichyfeelings]

Having to do something that requires you to have your hair up if it’s long and having to tie it up and then create an intricate contraption of hair pins across your scalp to successfully pin down all the short clumps

[bee-u-trich-ful]

please tell me y’all feel this too

[recoversuggestions]

growth isn’t always constant. relapses happen. it doesn’t erase all your success.

[mentalhealth]

today’s mantra:

I will put my energy into loving myself first

[trichyfeelings]

When you pull and wind up with a bunch of hair on your desk/bed/around you and you have to collect it up and go to throw it away like:

[bee-u-trich-ful]

i don’t need you to respect me, i respect me. i don’t need you to love me, i love me.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

resist the urge to give up on healing just because it is slow

[fate]

via weheartit

[mughler-deactivated20190524]

i just realized,,,,,,,…. i can literally be the best version of myself right at this moment the only one stopping me is,,,.,,,, me ??? wild

[chessys]

everyones going through something be gentle

[michellepsychologist]

[writedyke]

Dislocation

Hairs that no longer reside On my head, in my follicles Lay scattered around all the places In which I have ever existed. My hand wanders up to my scalp Poised to pull, to yank, to destroy Any hair that would dare To be different than the rest. Before I know it my desk, my space Is littered with yellow strands Without a peek I know it’s there An absence where they used to be. I begin again, hopeful each day “Today I will not pull,” I say.

[doggosource]

[homopower]

I literally felt stress leave my body watching this.

[goaliesarethebest]

I love him, I hope he’s having a good day.

[iletarwa]

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST: 

to those with Trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) who feel like nothing will ever help

I recently discovered these little beauties at my local Ulta store (they’re also on Amazon) and let me tell you, not only do they help cover up bald spots: they help you stop pulling altogether, or at least slow it way down. 

Let me start by saying I’ve been doing this for over ten years now. Practiclally every day, throughout the day. The whole top of my head has been very thin and the hair usually doesn’t grow past ~2 inches long before I pull it out. I’ve tried everything to stop it, I’ve tried snapping a rubber band on my wrist or pulling fluff off a stuffed animal, I’ve tried playing with the ends of my hair instead and keeping journals of when I do pull. Everything I found online that seemed simple, I tried and failed with. 

So I found this and I thought, well, at least I can cover it up, right? And it works! With the extra fiber hold spray (on the right) it holds super well and covers amazingly, it even lasts through wind and light rain (but comes out with shampoo or a few makeup wipes – which I recommend before sleeping or your pillow might end up dirty). But what I was surprised at: the fibers cling in just a way that they’re really satisfying for me to pull them out. It satisfies the urge to pull at my hair in a way literally nothing else has before. And the best part about this is, it takes a LOT of pulling the fibers out for it to even start to look thin again and need to be reapplied. Several times now at work I’ve pulled at them to where it felt like there were none left, then I went and looked in a mirror and it turned out it still looked very full and covered. 

This stuff is a miracle, honestly, and for ~$40 for the fibers and the spray together (I’ve been using one can of fibers for over a month now and haven’t run out), I can’t recommend it enough. My confidence in my appearance has skyrocketed and I feel amazing (and proud at my progress too). Do yourself the favour and give it a try. 

[trichy-business-blog]

I want to share this with you guys because it helped me a lot! Although the texture change it provided didn’t make me pull less, the powder DID look natural, blended well, and overall helped reduce the appearance of bald areas. Additionally, sometimes I’d notice the powder on my fingers after/while pulling, which would make me more aware of what I was doing so I could focus on stopping. I haven’t had to use this product lately, but I will definitely keep it on hand in the future!