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missing my girlies

what can i say about these 2 cheeky girls? 

1. i miss them like craaazy 

2. funniest people i have literaly, ever met!

thankfully, i have booked some time off next month and i shall be going to visit them! i cannot wait to see them and catch up.. its hard living away due to the fact we all have completely different lives. also, because i work all the time im constantly on the go but when i go down i cant wait to spend some quality student life with them!

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so this is a video of my choreography portfolio in semester 1 - thankfully after all the hard work i got a 1st! woooo. enjoy! 

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got my news.. dum dum dum.

so i finally went to the hospital and got my news. they told me that i have what they thought i had but i have to have an op now or never. as its childrens surgery and i am 18 they can only perform it within the next year or 2. this leaves me having to think hard - not what i wanted to do because i absolutely detest decision making!

however, if i have the op they have told me my foot still wont be strong enough to go back to the level of dance i did and if i want the op to get back to dance - to not bother.

so do i have the op and try even though they have told me different? or do i just take another career route?

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How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

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i gotta job, yeah!

so the good news is, ive been offered 4 jobs since getting back home and i start my new job on thursday! i am so happy to of got all 4 jobs but i am mega mega mega excited about starting on thursday. 

the other good news is that i have my hospital appointment next week! on tuesday i shall be going to west suffolk hospital so see a foot specialist! its nerve racking as this is the final part of weather i can ever dance again or not.. fingers crossed! 

its really hit me how much i am missing my fally friends. i have settled back in brilliantly here and things are going so well so i cant complain!

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settling back in with reality

The past few days have been kinda here and there! I got back saturday, late afternoon from leaving uni which was extremely sad! I spent my last day chilling, catching up with friends before heading to our student union with flatmates and the flat across the hall (the best 2 flats in block g!!) and had a few drinks and played pool. It was, as you can imagine, very very emotional. Knowing I was actually leaving for good this time made this 1000000 times harder. So we packed the car early on saturday morning and headed off back home.

When I got in, I had to literally have a bath, pack my stuff and head over to my best mates to dress up as a powerpuff girl! It was my mates 19th birthday and I couldn't not go.. fancy dress is my fav! 

I spent sunday sorting my room out (this took forever!) and feeling very sorry for myself - I've seemed to of come down with a cold.. a nasty one that didnt get better over night! Yesterday (Monday) I had a job interview. eeeeek!! I really do hope I get it.. just gotta wait now. Today was a hectic day too..

On the whole foot situation, I have been told that I wont have to pay any of my tutition/loan fees as I had to leave uni due to a medical/health issue.. yippee! So I just gotta send a form off and its all done! I have the hospital on the 19th so till then I just gotta wait!

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honey i'm home

So I am now finally home! Its been a very busy few days with packing, unpacking, being ill, getting prepared for interviews, friends birthdays and of course lot of sleep! Therefore, when I get a chance I will do a proper update with whats going on back here! Wish me luck for tomorrow!!

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''keep your head up, keep your heart strong, keep your mind set in your ways''

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bye bye ballerinas

I have just said goodbye to a couple of girls from my dance degree - emotional wreck is deffinately the right word. Such a shame I won't get to see their beautiful faces everyday anymore. They are such great people and have been there for me through everything. I know they are all going to do so well on the course, they are truly amazing. Tonight i'm having dinner with the parents and flat mate Sarah then a having a tiny gathering at the flat to say the last goodbyes. I have the kleenex at the ready because I know ill end up in tears. Its hit me that I am actually leaving, I really dont like it. Because I have been back and forth from home it feels like ill be back in a few weeks, but I wont be. Oh and someone else is gonna be living in my room.. waaaah.

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finally, i'm getting somewhere!

Today has been a very successful day! I actually woke up before midday (there's a first for everything) and did lots of productive stuff. I had a meeting with finance which has now put my mind at ease with money issues. Uni these days costs so much! She managed to total up that although i've been at Uni for 6 months, I am so far in about 6 grands worth of debt.. yay. Luckily, I dont care about the money! But, because I have had to leave due to medical issues, if i send a letter clarifying why I cannot carry on with my course this year all my funding will be disregarded meaning I wont owe anything! When I was told this I did wonder when the catch would come in.. no catch. So, all I need to do is send off this letter and everythings done with the tutiton fee side of things.

I also emailed Yamuna, a company in the USA specalising in feet. I messaged them asking if there was anything they could do and this was their reply..

I was so happy to hear this.. hopefully there is someone local to me and I can try this out!

However, I now only have 2 days left at Uni and this saddens me. I cant wait for my parents to get here Friday yet I know that as soon as I see them, it means I am leaving the following day. I've spent the past week and a half chilling catching up on every programme possible and stuffing my face with the occasional tidying/packing session. Its so weird to think that i'm leaving all my lovely flat and course mates in Falmouth.. especially a few of them that I have grown fondly too. I was saying Saturday night when I was partying in town 'I wanna cry but I cant, because I am so happy!!' - and this is deffinately the case! Its so sad that I am having to leave but I now know that the choreography degree at Falmouth is the right course for me, its all right for me down here yet unfortunately its just not the right time. I feel like im so much older than I am so I do need to remember that I am only 18 and i'm one of the youngest candidates on my course. I have my whole life ahead of me! 

Although I am gutted that i'm leaving, I have things back at home to keep me busy. When I get back Saturday, i'm heading straight out for one of my friends 19th's birthdays - its superheroes and villians themed so me and 2 friends are being the Powerpuff Girls (we are gonna look awesome!!). After recovering Sunday, on Monday I have a job interview so fingers crossed for that!! I also am looking for a new car, so thats gonna take up a lot of time!

So it's all go go go for me at the moment!

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People have asked me why I chose to be a dancer. I did not choose. I was chosen to be a dancer, and with that, you live all your life - Martha Graham

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Why am I here?

My first post on my new blog! I decided to delete my other blog and do something more productive. After seeing other people on Tumblr having blogs about their injuries and recoveries I thought it would be nice to create one on my journey. After reading many of the blogs involving foot injuries, none of them were dancers from what I could see. Me being a dancer, my feet are extremely important to me! 

So here's a little run down to get you up to date on whats happened so far!

I have been dancing since I was 2/3 years of age. My love and talent grew and grew as I got older leading me to carry on at a degree level. In May 2012 I randomly decided that I wished to go to Uni and before I knew it, it was September and I was living 7 hours away from home in Falmouth, Cornwall. I had always had foot problems (my right foot turns slightly inwards yet I was told I would grow out of it.. deffinately didn't!) but since the demand at Uni was so high as I was dancing 5 days a week, it really took a toll on my foot. I saw a professional dance physio therapist and she thought it was ligament damage - something I had always been told by the doctors, to rest and it will be fine. My physio therapist booked me in urgently for a MRI scan, and after having the scan in December 2012 I finally got the results in January 2013.

And wow, it was not what I was expecting. My doctor had prepared me over the phone telling me it was arthritis yet when I got to the hospital and received the results I was told something completely different. I had a case of Tarsal Fusion. From a fetus, my bones didn't develop properly, leaving 2 bones in my foot fused. As you can imagine, I was well and truely done in - especially after then being told to get over it and get a new career because 'I wasn't Kylie Minogue' (something I was quite aware of!). Although there is surgery, the doctor in Truro, Cornwall is refusing to operate on me. This has left me having to leave my studies and move back home to sunny Suffolk! I have booked a second opinion with a foot specialist back at home and I am hoping that my case will be enough for me to have one of the 2 operations.

I have 3 days left of being at Uni.. lets get this show on the road back to the recovery of dancing.